I COULD HAVE BLOGGED ALL NIGHT!

"I could have blogged all night,
I could have blogged all night
and still have typed some more,
I could have owned this screen,
Like Mirren inThe Queen ,
Although the film's a bore,
'Notes on a Scandal', there's a lesson in prudence,
Which is, Hey, teachers, lay off your students,
But were mine Cate Blanchett, I'd be the teacher's pet,
I could have blogged, blogged, blahhhhh-ged...all night!

Yes, the Screen Actor's Guild (or SAG) Awards took place last night, a.k.a, We've gone an entire week without a an awkward red-carpet moment, for instance Ryan Seacrest welcoming "James Gandolfino" and the rest of the cast of The Sopranos . A few inappropriate comments on last night's telecast:

--Freddy Rodriguez ("Six Feet Under") gave the best "and I'm an actor" vignette to open the show, but I was distracted by the young woman immediately to his right who stuffed a full piece of sushi in her mouth just as the camera panned to him. Poor girl. She didn't know whether to spit it out or just hide under the table. Unscripted comedy is the best kind.

--Surely I'm not the first to suggest this, but next year they should take the cameras out to bars and restaurants and have the wait staff at those venues provide the "and I'm an actor" vignettes. Because so many of them in L.A. are. As Hugh Laurie, who is simply the smartest guy in the room, said after winning his SAG award, "It's not whether you do good work; it's whether you get the chance to do good work."

--I also enjoyed the Marg Helgenberger "and I'm an actor" story. It would have been sweet if below her husband, Alan Rosenberg, they would have run a graphic saying, "Over-chicked". (Over-chicked, def.--When you've married/are dating well above your station).

--Somebody kept their eye on the ball, inviting Georgia Engel (Georgette) to be onstage with the rest of the cast of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show". A little montage would have worked nicely there. And no mention of Ted Knight, the greatest comic figure of them all? Cloris Leachman, by the way? Eighty years old.

--"The Office" won best ensemble comedy, even though I'll continue to argue that the show that comes on immediately afterward, "Scrubs", deserves that honor. And "Entourage" got screwed again. The reason so many people laughed when Julia-Louis Dreyfus and Steve Carell did their bit later in the program and she said, "The British version of 'The Office' is so much funnier" is because it's true.

--If I were producing this or any other awards show this year, here's what I'd do. The moment that the winner was announced, I'd run a quick 3-second clip of Faith Hill's reaction at The Country Music Awards. You're telling me that wouldn't be the best running gag?

--Anyone else notice that after Eddie Murphy gave his speech for Best Supporting Actor for "Dreamgirls" that the camera panned to a pair of his fellow ex-SNL castmates, Brad Hall and Louis-Dreyfus? Where was Robin Duke?

--Hugh Laurie, for the second Sunday night in a row, best speech. He noted that his fame will pass, and followed by saying, "It may have already passed while I was still standing here." And he took a return swipe at Murphy, who mocked the British acceptance speeches (of which there were so many) by saying, "I'm British, by the way, which accounts for why I'm so smooth .

--Admit it. When you saw Dennis Haysbert standing all by himself up there introducing the "They Died" segment, you were wondering, "Is this another ad for 'accident forgiveness'?"

--By the way, it was a bad year for The Munsters , eh? Both Lily and Grampa. How come they never did an episode where The Munsters and The Addams Family met? Maybe they could have played Family Feud? Woulda been a classic.

--Cate Blanchett: Classic movie star. And she's cool, too. And is it just me but does Cate bear an uncanny resemblance to a younger version of Helen Mirren? Maybe she'll star in The Helen Mirren Story some day and pick up a boat load of trophies herself.

--Greg Kinnear had a funny line and reminded everyone why he's so likeable. You know how when you attend a wedding you hope to be seated at the fun table? So why not put together your dream SAG awards fun table? You get to pick the eight people around whom you'd want to sit and to whom you'd whisper put-downs about the other actors at the show. Here's mine:

--Helen Mirren, because I think she's game for anything.
--Kinnear, because he's the king of not taking himself too seriously.
--Reese Witherspoon, because everybody loves her and we want to hear the Ryan Phillippe tales.
--Kevin Connolly (Eric on "Entourage"), because that way there'd be one other dude at the table besides me with an "I have no idea how I got here" look on his face.
--Cate Blanchett, because she's Cate Blanchett. And because I think if she got together with Mirren, they'd be quite bawdy.
--Hugh Laurie, to engage us with his charm.
--Abigail Breslin, so that I'd have at least one peer in terms of emotional maturity.
--Isaiah Washington, so we could ask him how his "treatment" for being politically incorrect is going.

That's a wrap. Next Sunday it's the Super Bowl and the Sunday after that The Grammys. I almost do not want winter time to end.

By the way, I saw Pan's Labyrinth this weekend. It's awesome. It's as much of a fairy tale as The Wizard of Oz while being as unflinchingly violent as Goodfellas . Don't worry about the sub-titles. You'll be glad you chose this over Norbit .