I MISS THREE SIX MAFIA

Honestly...is it written in the Academy charter that Randy Newman has to have a song nominated each year? And here's Celine Dion singing yet another Oscar nominee tune. Somebody wake me when Beyonce hits the stage.

Is it so difficult to write a catchy melody? I was just watching That Thing You Do yesterday, which has a lot of terrific touches to it (and Steve Zahn , as usual, just chews up every scene he's in, and I mean that in a good way...he and Jeremy Piven should co-star in a film some day along with Philip Seymour Hofman. They'll need three cameras in every scene). Anyway, the title tune is fantastic. I doubt that ever got nominated for a Best Song Oscar, but I'll check now.

(Please hold while I'm checking).

Nope. But I did just learn that the reason the pizzeria in that film is called "Villapiano's" is in tribute to former Oakland Raider linebacker Phil Villapiano. Tom Hanks, who produced the film, was an Oakland Raider fan growing up. And I'm pretty certain that Villapiano originally hailed from the same central New Jersey area that I am. I'm sure Mr. Villapiano (which, in Italian, means "piano house"?) is thrilled by that.

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Um, it's 11:05 eastern time. You think we maybe could get a meaningful award announced some time soon? Some of us have jobs we don't need to be at tomorrow. Or, if you're going to procrastinate, at least send Reese Witherspoon out on stage for a few minutes (it's time for dessert, anyway).

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I couldn't be more excited as these actors read the stage diirection notes for the screenplays. I only wish that earlier, when they did this for Best Adapted Screenplay and picked a moment from Borat , that they had described the nude wrestling scene in as graphic detail.

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Enough already with the Shadow Dancers or whatever it's called. Okay, the Snakes on a Plane silhouette was pretty cool.