MIRREN, MIRREN, ON THE WALL...

Helen Mirren...WOW!

Sixty is the new 57!

You look great, Helen. How do you feel about much younger men? I wanna make a movie with you entitled To Helen Back .

And Reese Witherspoon...you win my Hollywood actress I'd most like to share nachos with at Barney's Beanery. Tell me she wouldn't be a scream to hang with.

Robert Downey, Jr., looks about ten years older than he did the last time I saw him...which wouldn't be so bad except the last time I saw him was last night on the Independent Film Channel for the Independent Spirit Awards...which aired live.

I think Nicole Kidman took that Stepford Wives role to heart, no?

Here's hoping Ellen Degeneres makes a joke about Blood Diamond while pointing out all the bling in the room this evening.

I don't know who this interviewer in the blue tux is, but I love him. If you're going to be the opposite of R. Kelly ("Stuck in the Closet"), then you need to jump out and stand in the middle of the room.