"OSCAR, OSCAR, OSCAR!"

(With apologies to Felix Unger)

So, I just looked up the origin of the term "Oscar". According to Wikipedia (and a more knowledgeable source you'd never find, no?), the origin is disputed. One account has Bette Davis dubbing the statuette after her first husband, Harmon Oscar Nelson (So why aren't we going all mad over the Harmons?). The other account is that Margaret Harrick, then the Academy's Executive Secretary, dubbed the statuette Oscar because it reminded her of her own Uncle Oscar...who often stood still and naked, with his clenched fists at his sternum (Uncle Oscar died choking on a piece of prime rib, ironically, and his last waking moments were given over to self-Heimliching. Seriously, that's true.)*

*Not true.

Oscar, by the way, is 13.5 inches tall and weighs 8.5 pounds, giving him something remarkably in common with Milton Berle .