POST AWARDS SEASON DEPRESSION
Okay, we all owe a big debt of gratitude to Hollywood for getting us through the last five weeks. I mean, the Golden Globes, the SAGs, Oscars, "Norbit". How would we have gotten through February otherwise. What? The Super Bowl?
My good friends The McCollows are very down on tonight's telecast, but I'm not judging it so harshly. My guess is that Katie just made too many chocolate chip cookies this evening, that the two of them are in the midst of a tollhouse-induced coma, and that it is affecting their judgment.
Were these Oscars better than average? Average? Below? I'd go with average. A few thoughts:
TOP FIVE MISSING MOVIE STARS
1. Jim Carrey
2. Brangelina
3. Kevin Costner
4. Matt Damon
5. Dakota Fanning (Was she just having a diva moment because Abigail was getting all the love? I cannot wait until the two of them start fighting over Jack Nicholson in about six years).
Most Inspired Moment
The Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly number about how comedy never is appreciated. Speaking of which, in a gripe within a gripe, just how unappreciated is Gary Cole? From Office Space to Talladega Nights , he's been fantastic. This is the same guy who portrayed the A-hole Secret Service dude in In the Line of Fire . Did he even have a seat tonight?
Ellen
Proving that there is absolutely NO EVENT huge enough to get her to wear a dress. In how many different languages tonight were children saying, "Mommy, why is that man wearing lipstick?"
She did a terrific job, though. Liked the "Dame Judi Dench" jokes. And see, you can get away with ripping on British actors if Sean Penn isn't around.
Speaking of British actors, shouldn't Hugh Laurie have won an award just for his acceptance speech prowess?
Seinfeld
Jerry being Jerry. And that's cool by me.
Okay, it's late and I'm too tired to blog any more this evening. I was able to catch some cat naps when Marconi was giving his acceptance speech in Italian and during Celine's song, but I'm still exhausted.
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NBCSports.com's John Walters goes into the world of college sports and well beyond. From Notre Dame to the latest in pop culture, JDub tackles it all.
I hate your blog censors. I fire off a dumb post, and because I used a phrase to describe leaning your head to one side -- a word that, yes, has another meaning unsuitable for a family-friendly blog -- the post gets submitted to the NBC censors. Gotta remember to pre-emptively copy'n'paste before I submit.
Anyway, I was at EPCOT a few weeks back with the family and in a fit of Educational Madness, took in "Ellen's Energy Adventure," starring the aforementioned Ms. DeGeneres.
It's like 10 years old, from the days when Ellen probably needed a paycheck and would slum for a half-hour corny movie wth some dinosaurs and Bill Nye, The Science Guy.
Anyway, there's one part of the ride where there's an Audioanimatronic Ellen, and it's not even Hall of Presidents-quality work. Perhaps the worst, least flattering likeness I've ever seen -- looked nothing like Ellen, except that it was wearing pants and an unbuttoned dress shirt.
(It's like the bad-Columbo-impersonation deal where if you just make one eye drift off randomly and (TILT!) your head to the side, people know you're doing Peter Falk.)
Gary Cole? He's my Comeback Actor of the Year. Guy survived THREE "Brady Bunch" sequels and is still making contributions to Hollywood. He was the best thing in "Talladega," better than Sasha Baron Cohen. And "In the Line of Fire" was great, with pre-"Malkovich" Malkovich. Can that really be a 14-year-old movie? I feel old now.