THE TWO-STRIKE RULE

Yesterday on ESPN's "Mike & MIke", NFLPA excutive director Gene Upshaw appeared to discuss a possible "three-strike" policy for player behavior. The dialogue was instigated as a result of the latest transgression by the most talented NFL player named after a video game, Pac-Man Jones of the Tennessee Titans.

In case you've been devoting too much attention to the Britney Shears debacle (Bill Maher on her 'do: "At last, the drapes match the carpet"), this Pac-Man craziness has reached a level that I for one never came close to achieving on the actual Pac-Man game. Or Ms. Pac-Man, where I'm a solid 3rd-level type.

We've got bitten bouncers. We've got an explanation, for those of us out of the loop, on what it means to "make it rain" inside a strip club (not as obscene as you might fear...or hope). We've got your obligatory rapper witness (Nelly). We've got a stripper promoter (!) who mistakenly thought that the $81,000 in the bag was for him and his girls. We've got champagne-bottle wielding groupies. We've got shots fired outside the club, Minxx, shortly before 5 a.m. We've got a bouncer who was hit in the spine and is now paralyzed from the waist down. And we have Pac-Man in the midst of all of it.

Don't believe me? Read the Las Vegas Review-Journal's account:

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2007/Feb-22-Thu-2007/news/12741485.html

All of which leads me to the following question:

Why should the NFL have a three-strike rule? That's baseball. Why not a four-down rule? After someone commits four completely heinous, immoral, misanthropic and/or violent deeds, the league punts him. Why should the NFL be kow-towing to MLB rules?

This, of course, leads to larger concerns: How does the PBA police itself? Ten strikes and not only are you not out, but you've rolled a perfect game?

All of which is to say that I don't take a "three-strike rule" very seriously unless there's a man in a chest-protector and facemask extremely close to the proceedings. Here's my feeling on all of this: All of us are capable--in fact, more than capable, we are almost inevitable--of making a mistake. And all of us who've made that mistake just simply want a second chance.

Now, you can go from Jesus ("turn the other cheek") to Shakespeare ("The quality of mercy is not strained...") to the Jackson Five ("Ooooh, baby, give me one more chance...") to listen to the wisdom of forgiveness. And I agree. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Unless they're playing Deal or No Deal . Those greedy bastards are lucky just to even be in that position.

Anyway, as I was saying...a second chance seems fair to me. You hope that the second chance was the wake-up call that the transgressor needed--and when, like Pac-Man, you're hanging out past 5 a.m., you definitely need a wake-up call. But beyond that?

I don't understand. What does a third chance teach anyone that the second chance didn't? No matter how decent an individual you happen to be, you may as well have one moment of infamy under the three-strike rule since it's a mulligan, anyway.

"Peyton Manning, what were you thinking inviting Fred Smoot and his closest female friends for a day-long cruise on your houseboat? If you do that again....and then yet again...you're going to be in some serious trouble."

Three strikes and you're out, I'm sorry, is no deterrent, whether you're a criminal or a pro football player (or both, as some happen to be). If I were commissioner of any pro sports league, I'd introduce a "two strikes and you're out" policy.

Interesting Footnotes (or at least I think so):

--Notre Dame point guard Kyle McAlarney is enduring his school's "one strike and you're out" policy this semester. MacAlarney, a sophomore point guard, was caught with a little grass in his car and has been automatically suspended for the semester. He can return to school next semester if he wants. You may believe that punishment's too harsh, but in such a world of draconian punitive measures, I can guarantee you that strip-club bouncers are far more safe.

--During my brief stint in the Air Force I observed a "one strike and you're out" policy, and I'm not just talking about discipline. During softball games for PT (physical training), the team at-bat would have one of their own players pitch. The catch was that each batter only got one pitch to hit. If the pitch was out of the strike zone, or if the batter fouled it off, or if he swung and missed...if he or she in any way failed to put the pitch in play, he was out.

You could play an entire six-inning game in under 25 minutes. Maybe the military was on to something.