March 2007 Archives

Oden just loaded up from about 12 feet away, took a step then went almost parallel to the floor in an attempt to get thunderous over Jeff Green. The ball banged off the back of the rim, Green got called for a block and Oden gingerly got to his feet.

On an unrelated note, Ludacris is two seats back from me with his kids on his lap.

Nobody can cover Oden inside. Hibbert has four fouls and played exceptionally soft when he was in, afraid to pick up fouls inside then got whistled for a dumb hold on a loose ball. Ohio State just reeled off six points since I started this entry.

Uh-oh...Oden has 10 points now.

On Oden as Hibbert got the ball in close and made a nice spin move. It was a touch foul and the kind of call that could easily have gone unwhistled with no complaint from Georgetown. Oden appears to be coming out after this timeout. Hibbert, meanwhile, gave Oden tons of room to work inside after picking up his third foul.

Greg Oden started the second half and got himself quickly involved in the post. He's going up strong but under control against Hibbert who just picked up his third foul and will now go to the bench.

OSU coach Thad Matta went bananas at a couple of no-calls - one on a drive by Mike Conley, the other a dunk attempt by Oden. But he quickly simmered down. It makes little sense for Matta to want the game called tighter and he probably realized that and piped down.

This blog feels badly for Greg Oden. He's about 12 feet away from me on the OSU bench and he sat there, eyes darting from the action to the ticking clock watching what would have been the biggest game of his life unfold without him.

Oden picked up both his fouls on the offensive end of the court.

So check this out...in the first 161 seconds three total fouls were called -- two on Greg Oden and one on Roy Hibbert.

And those are the only three fouls called so far in this game with Ohio State up 14-7 and 9:48 left in the half.

PS...Mike Conley is having his way for OSU.

It took all of 18 seconds for the first call to go on on eof the big men as Roy Hibbert got whacked with a foul on the game's first possession.

Not to be outdone, Oden got whistled for clearing out on Ohio State's second possession.

"Jeff Green traveled! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)!"

That was the first chant of the afternoon, coming from an early-arriving crew of 10 or so Ohio State fans. Green, the Georgetown player who traveled on a game-winning shot earlier in the tournament against Vanderbilt but didn't get whislted for it, simply smiled.

Non-calls have been rare, though. More frequent and distressing have been the whistles for touch fouls and normal course of action contact.

And with two leviathans ready to get it on in the first semifinal, there should be real worry that the Ohio State-Georgetown game is going to be altered by officiating. It's good for college basketball if Roy Hibbert and Greg Oden only have to sit because of fatigue, not foul trouble.

It will be very interesting to see how this game is called.

SEAT 49 ROW 3 COURTSIDE - Hoyas center Roy Hibbert was the first player on the court, getting out here at about 4:40...no Buckeyes came out until 5...there's no shooting going on...just stretching....hope they didn't forget to bring the balls for this thing.....

IN A FOLDING CHAIR AT A LONG TABLE THAT SEATS 30 IN THE GEORGIA DOME - What. Is. Up?

This blog has parachuted into the Final Four for the weekend.

This means the Bump 'n Run has been at the NFL's Annual Meetings in Phoenix wandering around a hotel it would have had no business being at if it didn't have business at it and is now at the only event that - in this blog's mind - compares to the Super Bowl.

Makes all those days spent covering events like Pee Wee Cheerleading and Biddy Basketball tournament games worth while.

To give you an idea of the setup, 55,000 of the dome's seats are in play for the game. I'm in a 100-yard long media workroom at the moment which has 18 tables that seat 30 print media each. The "room" is defined by blue drapes 20-feet high and is about 50 yards from the court.

This blog also just had to move its seat in the workroom because of a loud and interminable cell phone conversation being conducted by "dude in yellow shirt from some paper in Kansas."

He segued from the phone conversation to detailing where Harry Truman's favorite hotels..

Riveting stuff...

This blog has a terrific headache which may or may not have impacted my sensitivity to "dude in yellow shirt".

We're about two hours from the Georgetown-Ohio State tip and, if things fall just so, the next time Greg Oden plays basketball he could be wearing a Celtics uniform.

This week's show stars Tom Arnold. Not sure if you caught him on the Conan O'Brien show, but if you did, then you are aware that the man says ANYTHING! He is unpredictable and random yet at the same time you can't help but be naturally drawn into his chaos. When you interview a guy like him, the best bet is just to sit back and let the man go. Cause he will!

He also is extremely giving. His new movie PRIDE was filmed down in New Orleans. While down there he found out about the mother of an up and coming sports star who was tragically killed. Arnold decided to help out and give her a scholarship to go back to school and help her obtain her degree. Its stories such as this that are pleasant surprises that just sort of come out when talking to Tom.

We hung out in his dressing room for a solid 30 minutes, which is a long 20 minutes more then we anticipated. He then was off to go do another event and then fly down to Florida where he is filming his next film with Sharon Stone. Ahh, the life of a movie star!

SPOILER ALERT: If you are enjoying Discovery Channel's Planet Earth , the 11-part series that began last Sunday, well, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I hear that in the final installment Tony gets whacked.

ANYWAY... Please turn your hymnals to Page D1 of last Friday's USA Today . The cover story of the Life section is entitled "Get On The Airbus". To help us appreciate the enormity of the A380 Airbus that can carry 853 passengers, there are a few objects whose sizes are depicted in scale to one another. The objects are, in descending order:

A380 ......................................239 feet, 6 inches
Boeing 747-400......................231 feet, 10 inches
Boeing 737-800......................129 feet, 6 inches
Jenny 867-5309......................5 feet, 7 inches (Okay, not really, but how funny would that have been?)
Blue Whale..............................75 feet

Harry Potter news:

Any fan, go here and see what it is.

I am fully aware that this has absolutely nothing to do with sports.
Now the question is, are you aware of how freaking good these books are?

March Madness. Spring Training. PacMan Fever. Miss USA.

I know.

Who has time to follow sports outside the U.S. with so much going on here?

And yet, here's just some of what you've been missing:

WHO:
Jeff "Derd" Stoeckel
Harvard Baseball
Sophomore SS

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIM:
Named to the Ivy League Honor Roll March 27 after batting .444 (4-9) with a .500 on-base-percentage in three games for the Crimson while playing errorless defense at shortstop. He was 3-for-3 with a walk, RBI and three runs scored against Northwestern ... Was on base three times with a single and two walks at Eckerd on 3/26

FACTS OF LIFE:
When you grow up with your best friends, you also grow up with their siblings.
Sightings of the siblings, also known as 'little ones', occur often.
Such as:
When you pick up friend to go to the beach.
When you attend slumber party at friends house.
When you and friend are supposed to study but watch the Titanic win 75 Oscars instead.
And of course there are guaranteed sightings at family required events such as
Prom(s)
Recital(s)
Graduation(s)
Holiday(s)
and yet to be had by anyone in the Stoeckel/Simons family
Wedding(s). (Ahem.. Luke?)

Then one day, you wake up and get a smack in the face. Suddenly the 'little guy' ain't so little anymore. The kid who ran past you and out the door when you'd come over to chill with his big sister, is standing at 5'11" and making waves in college baseball. I am looking up ... just to look at him.

MAD PROPS:
Here's to one of the 'little ones' ... Way to go Derd!

Check out more of #7.

PHOENIX -- Indisputable video evidence will be a little easier to obtain in 2007.

The league's owners voted 30-2 on Tuesday to permanently adopt instant replay and upgrade all equipment before the season. They're going HD with everything which should bring disputed plays into clearer relief. Hopefully, the new equipment will also speed the process.

The other resolution that passed unanimously on Tuesday allows assistant coaches who are in the mix for head coaching jobs to take part in a follow-up interview if their team is in the Super Bowl.

Previously, assistants whose teams were in the playoffs were allowed to interview only between the wild card games and the civisional playoffs. That ended up hurting assistants whose teams were in the Super Bowl since nearly a month could pass between their first interview and their follow-up.

The caveat to this is that the assistant can only interview if there's a two-week break between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl.

Owners knocked down the proposal to allow sideline-to-helmet communication with a defensive player. And the 49ers' proposal to revise the pass interference penalty was withdrawn.

On Wednesday, owners will vote on whether to expand the game day roster from 45 players to 47, whether to implement a 5-yard penalty for spiking the ball at the end of a play that doesn't result in a touchdown, moving the overtime kickoff point from the 30 to the 35 and allowing balls used in the kicking game to be worked over before being put into play.

Not exactly anything you'd break into regularly scheduled programming for, is it?

As it stands the most significant happening at these meetings was the hashing out of the revenue sharing plan on Monday. The anticipated announcement of changes to the player conduct policy will not happen this week, indicated NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He does expect there to be a new plan in place before the draft.

The island of Manhattan was actually....gasp... hot today!

That is if you can count 73 degrees as hot.

Spring is here...Bring it on baby!!!!!

You already know how I feel about the FLORIDA GATORS.

But did you know how this guy feels? Talk about needing to let off a little steam. Randy is not exaclty screaming, "Oh Gators, how I love thee." Especially towards Gators center Joakim Noah. Here's an appetizer:

"But on the court, Noah has become just slightly less annoying than the TV timeout. "

"Foremost in Noah's arsenal of annoying acts is the primal yell...Noah has taken the yell to the extreme, choosing to howl after damn near every move he makes to enhance the Gators' shot at victory."

"No, the Gators are using honest methods to gain unpopularity."

Hey he said it, not me.

You know him from Late Night with Conan O'Brien . It's the Horny Manatee.

What is the last song played on your iPOD?
My Hopeless Manatee by Rocket Me Nowhere. They wrote the song about me, and it makes me even hornier to listen to it (if that's possible)!

What celebrity would you most like to trade places with? Why?
Bryant Gumble. First of all, who wouldn't want to be a Gumble? Secondly, I'm realistic enough to know I could never fill Greg Gumble's shoes.

What website can you not live without?
www.HornyManatee.com. I literally cannot live without it.

What did you do with your first paycheck?
I was really messed up back then. I'm not going to lie to you, my first paycheck went to booze and drugs. I'm not proud of it. But now, I save as much as I can. I know my killer body won't last forever, so one day I'm going to go to college.

What's your favorite thing in your closet?
My favorite thing in my closet has to be my Manateen outfit. I love looking cute and sexy all at one time!

PHOENIX - Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the league's more influential owners, delved into a number of issues the league's 32 owners are grappling with this week.

One was moving ahead the revenue sharing program among owners to decide which teams would be qualifiers for additional funds.

"I think we came up with a program now that allows us to fulfill the last [piece] of the labor deal: a revenue sharing plan. If we hadn't agreed, and it only had two negative votes, then the commissioner would have had the unilateral power to decide. So this takes us through the past year and the next three years.

"I don't think anyone is 100 percent happy with it, but when we did our labor agreement it was contingent on having this plan. I think it was a wonderful compromise with the committee. I'm glad it didn't have to go to the commissioner and we got 30 out of 32 votes (Cincinnati and Jacksonville voted against). I think it's a very fair plan."

The revenue sharing issue and restoring civility among the owners, Kraft believes, was the most important thing to be accomplished this week and it already has.

"We have a great partnership in this league, as a business. We have to get the room back together as a whole. I think in this last labor negotiation there was a lot of division from within, and a lot of fracturing, and I think we have to work very hard to bring it together," Kraft explained. I think taking this qualifier issue off the table now allows us to try to get back to a balanced partnership with the union."

Asked about his teams' huge foray into the 2007 free agent market, Kraft said, "Every individual team's needs are different -- what's right for us might not be right for someone else -- and we knew that there were 25 teams that had a lot of cap room. So people were going to come fast off the market. We had to decide what was right for our franchise, and then be ready to move in the marketplace. We didn't like being one minute away from going to the Super Bowl, and anything we could do to make our team better and improve, that's what our focus was."

Everlasting blogstopper Greg Auman , a.k.a. "GA", reminds me that Sheryl Crow is doing hair-dye commercials for Revlon. Why hasn't any marketing genius at Revlon come up with an entire line of rock-and-roll colors, entitled, fittingly (thanks, Greg): "Only The Good Dye Young", or "Color My World"?

A sampling of the colors we'd like to see:

Blonde on Not-Blonde

Simply Red

Honestly, Revlon, do we have to do your jobs for you?

So I have this camera... a Nikon D50 to be exact. I love it. (Spent the majority of today in Central Park taking pictures. Snnnaaappppp).

However, I can NOT figure out one thing: how to transfer my new pictures.

Already, I've taken several pictures and loaded them onto my computer. Then the next time I go out and shoot, if I try to transfer the new photos onto my computer it only allows me to transfer EVERYTHING not just the new ones. In other words, I keep copying the same pictures over and over in addition to the new ones. So I guess my question is: A) Is there a setting I can put it on that will allow me to only tranfer the new pictures? B) Should I be clearing my memory stick after every download to avoid duplicating?

This is suddenly starting to sound like a Craigs List posting, a very G-Rated one. Haha...

I'm going to B&H tomorrow to get answers. But if you happen to know how to fix this, help a girl out and email me!!!! Tiffany.Simons@nbcuni.com

The Final Four: Florida, UCLA, Georgetown, Ohio State. I didn't get UCLA, but the other three are sitting pretty nice in my bracket. Hope you did even better then me!

SIDE NOTE: As I'm writing this, America's Next Top Model is on and if you could just see the 'Pose Master' in this episode you'd be laughing soooo hard. He is wearing a gold unitard. A GOLD UNITARD. Enough said.

Speaking of models and costumes, check out John Walters blog on the Miss USA Pageant. He blogged his way through the beauty contest on Friday night. Unfortunately, I was running around hanging balloons and streamers on Friday night for a friends surprise birthday party, so I had to catch the show on Saturday. Say what you will, I love watching those things!

Jayhawks trail 58-51 with 2:59 to play. KU fans might be heartened to learn that in the Division II men's hoops final earlier today, Barton came back from a 6-point deficit in the final minute to defeat Winona--and end that school's 57-game win streak.

60-51 UCLA with 1:36 to play. The nail in the coffin may have been Mbah a Moute's block of Russell Robinson's shot after that acrobatic drive just to get to the hoop.

Brandon Rush just scored off a sweet baseline reverse layup to make it 60-53. Man, is he Pippenesque. You watch a play like that and you wonder why he didn't impose himself on the game more forcefully earlier. That is one gifted hoopster.

60-53, Woodens.

Afflalo just got the shooter's touch on the front end of a one-and-one. Missed the second, but it may not matter. KU missed a layup to follow. Now Collison's on the line.

62-53 with less than a minute to play.

Walton is high-fiving the fans around him.

Arthur just made a put-back of yet another missed KU layup. It's 63-55, UCLA, with 45.3 to play. Kansas, Think Barton.

If form holds here--and there's still plenty of time left, 11:29--and UCLA wins, then next week's Final Four will feature both Ohio State coach Thad Matta and UCLA center Lorenzo Mata. Though their teams would not play until the final.

Mata, a 6'9" headband banger, has come up huge defensively all night. He may not have many actual blocks, but he has altered KU shots and simply distracted the Jayhawks to the point of instigating so many of their misses down low. He's my MVP thus far even though he did not attempt a shot in the first half.

Then again, Arron Afflalo and his 16 points might disagree with me. Okay, Afflalo just buried a stone-cold 25-footer with :01 on the shot clock to shut me up. He's the MVP to this point. Chalmers replied with a three. 49-43, UCLA.

Afflalo, another bucket. That's 21 points.

Bill Walton just stood an did the "U-C-L-A Fight! Fight! Fight!" cheer. There's still much to be cynical about regarding big-time college sports, but there' s also a lot to love. Just like religion.

Julian Wright just made a sweet layup and then KU got out on the break and created a fould call. Now Wright's back at the line with a chance to pull KU within five. Missed. Within six. Missed again. Stays at seven.

If you look up in the rafters--not that youd ever see it on TV-- there's a very loyal gang of Bruin students standing in Section 227. They're almost all cald in Bruin Blue and have been standing and cheering vociferously, I must say, all game long. And of course they have some of the worst seats in the arena.

So that's a reason to be cynical about big-time college sports.

KU just missed another four-footer. Story of the game. UCLA buries their bunnies, KU does not.

Give the Bruins credit. They play terrific defense, and no eam utilizes the half-court trap better. But KU has penetrated a lot and had close, if not wide-open, shots down low. They've just been rimming out too often. Has the Wizard cast a spell on KU's bucket?

As I type that, KU hits its second three of the night. Now Chalmers makes a steal...but Rush can't hit the wide-oppen three. That would have been huge.

46-38, Bruins.

KU has shot (and made) just one three pointer, while UCLA is 5-13.

Jayhawk power foward Darnell Jackson has seen more than average playing time and is 3-3 from the field (manly dunks) and 0-3 from the free throw line.

UCLA has already committed 13 turnovers (10 for KU).

I was charged $10 for a slice of pepperoni anda Diet Coke. Have you seen that Miller High Life ad where they take the beer from the restaurant serving the $11.50 burger? That's how I felt. By the way, the Parker-Meridien Hotel in NYC serves a $50 burger that, unless it gave me and 17 of my closest friends an orgasm, I'd never order. Save yourselves the money and pretentiousness and head for The Corner Bistro in the West Village. The burger is $4.50 and served on a paper plate and it's as good as it gets in New York City, burger-wise.

Brandon Rush just descended from the rafters to jam home the ball on a three-on-one break. Rocked the HP!

But then KU missed a chance to go ahead before half on a missed layup and UCLA's Josh Shipp hit a three from the corner at the buzzer. The red light framing the backboard came on just as the ball went through the rim (he lit the lamp...sorry, I've spent the last three games here in a penalty box).

Halftime score UCLA 35-31.

KU would be leading if about three or four of their bunnies had gone down and they could make some free throws. Through 20 minutes this has been a heavyweight prize fight, with both squads ebbing and flowing. A few too many turnovers for either coach's liking (though one TO is too many for them), but that's provided exciting fast breaks and jams for us.

Simply a great game so far. It's eye-popping how fast and athletic the college game has become. Evolution in athletics is equated to speed. No doubt. And money, I guess.

Okay, so here's how I'd change college hoops--though I certainly love the product:

1. No more jump-stop then leap plays. That's a walk.

2. You cannot call a timeout after you score.

3. More jugglers.

4. If you go for a block, your hand cannot touch the backboard. If you're not allowed to touch the rim as a defender, shouldn't the backboard be off-limits as well?

So far this game has all the energy that a 1 vs. 2 regional final should have. It's 12-9 Kansas at 15:25. Brandon Rush and Julian Wright of the Jayhawks have come to play, as has Arron Afllalo of UCLA. Chalk it up to the chalk players on the chalk teams playing up to their potential. This is an evenly matched contest.

So pardon me while I take a moment to tell te tournament selection committee, "Damn fine job, men." They hear no shortage of whining when Drexel or Syracuse fails to garner an invite (two schools who almost surely wouln't have made it past the first game, much less the first weekend).

But how about what they've accomplished? Three of the four regional finals are featuring 1 vs. 2 and the fourth, the Midwest, has 1 vs 3 (the closest thing to a Cinderella this tourney has is Oregon, a 3 seed that by the way happened to win its conference tourney).

So, again, Good Job, Selection Committee. Because no one ever says so.

Former UCLA and Kansas coach (and, while we're at it...Davidson...and the Carolina Cougars...Denver Rockets... San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Clippers, Indiana Pacers, Philadelphia 76ers, Detroit Pistons and New York Knicks...that guy) is rumored to be here today. Then again, if Brown showed up every time two of his former teams played, he'd never get a day's rest.

On to the bits of tid...Westwood Edition....

No relation to Capt. Fantastic...or the Brown Dirt Cowboy.

Lawrence Fan is the sports information director at San Jose State University (great name, eh? For a sports info director, that is? Almost as good as Dr. Hertz or Pastor Bedtime--I've never met a Pastor Bedtime, but that would be cool, right? "Who's calling, Dear?" "It's Pastor Bedtime.").

ANYWAY...Fan is also running the show here at the West Regional, and at the risk of sounding like a consummate suck-up, like an obsequious punk, I'd like to commend him on a wonderful innovation in sports-media facilitating. You see, I've been attending sporting events for free since 1989 and one thing that is always frustrating--although to a very minor degree--is the task of finding where you are to be seated. Everyone provides a seating chart, naturally, but the chart is laid out in order of the rows.

Miss Missouri is already out somewhere mashing with Colin Farrell. C'mon, you know she is.

"If you think you have what it takes to be the next Miss USA...contact NBCSports.com, blogs, etc.

Now Tara Conner is taking her final walk as Miss USA. And now she's being asked to touch her index finger to her nose. Now she's being asked to stand on one leg.

The Final Order:

Fourth Runner Up: Nevada
Third Runner Up: California
Second Runner Up: Kansas
First Runner Up: Rhosde Island
MISS USA...... TENNESSEE

"Tennessee IS who I thought she was!!!"

Ah, the sweet smell of vindication. I had her in third place from the very beginning. I'll take that.

Wise choice, judges.

How many seconds before Vince Young asks for the new Miss USA's number?

Question and Answer time. This ordinarily provides some squirm-worthy moments. It's like watching a puppy trying to cross an intersection. Here goes....

1. Nevada: Who's your hero? "Enrique Iglesias". Interesting.
2. Tennessee: Vince Young asked her, If you could be a famous man, who would it be? "Will Smith." Solid answer. At least she didn't say Reggie Bush.
3. Kansas: Does everyone deserve a second chance? NO. Bold answer. I wonder if Tara Conner was listening.
4. Rhode Island: Ban the use of something? Using cellphones while driving. Good answer. You think about it. You've got four seconds to come up with a reply on national TV. That ain't easy.
5. California: Is it fair for a woman to exploit her beauty? Wouldn't it have been great if she'd answered, "NO!", then walked off stage muttering, "I'm outta here."

Revised Rankings:

Tennessee
Rhode Island
Kansas
Nevada
California

Nevada
Tennessee...I like her...she's a college newspaper editor, just like Rory Gilmore. Me I never was on staff at my school's newspaper...and it shows
Kansas
Rhode Island
California...homer pick. She's okay, but I just don't see it.

My Revised Rankings:

Tennessee
Kansas
Rhode Island
California
(empty space...for Nevada's dress)
Nevada

I've just learned that Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams are already working on a book on Miss Missouri, if you know what I mean.

Best quip, from Moose, on Miss Nevada's dress: "It looks like someone took a switchblade to a ball of cotton candy."

Miss Congeniality: Montana. In other words, Miss "You'll-Love-Her-She's-Got-A-Great-Personality".

Miss Photogenic: Alabama. I agree. And I only voted for her 27 times.

There were some suggestions for variations on this time-honored staple of the competition, such as...

1.Boyfriend's boxers and wife-beater T
2. Naughty Nurse outfit
3. Tassles

Oh, Miss Missouri? Jessica Rabbit phoned. She wants her figure back. That said, who talked you into that 1973 bridesmaid's costume?

Best evening gowns, one man's (one man sitting in his hotel room alone) opinion:

1. Texas
2. Tennessee
3. Rhode island

Most Heinous?

1. Nevada
2. Missouri
3. Nevada, again (it's that hideous)

Virginia...
Hawaii...
Missouri... 4.0 GPA with that bod? Are you kidding? I thought "Something About Mary" was just a movie.
Texas
Tennessee
Nevada...tell me she's not dating Nick Fazekas?
California...She's a beauty consultant ("My advice to you. Get better-looking parents.")
Kansas
Utah
Rhode Island

So I chose three out of the top ten, based solely on photos and interview nuggets. Not horrible, but not outstanding, either. I promise I'll try harder next week.

....don't pull it, just enjoy it. Work it out."

Advice I wish my older brother had given me when I was five. Then again, he was the one giving me the wedgies!

SWIMSUIT PARADE!

Is there a town in America that celebrates the Fourth of July this way, and when can I move there?

Katie McCollow, wife, mother, cookie-dough addict and world-famous blogger (yuckysaladwithbones.com) already knows who won. She lives in Minnesota and I'm here in California. Here are here snarky comments from throughout the evening, without having told me who advanced. As if she were paying attention...

"Yuck! If that's Tara off drugs, bring on the crack!"

Finish this sentence: There's more trash on that stage than....

...than the Biloxi senior prom
...than your mom's work picnic
...than in Michael Moore's kitchen on the day after Thanksgiving

The name of this contest should be "Next Stop, Penthouse!"

You've got the Trumpster in the audience, and the show's on NBC, and there's no "Apprentice" tie-in. Couldn't we break the final 15 into two teams and see which ones could do a better job of selling McDonald's new Angus Burger over the course of eight minutes? Better yet, which side could eat more Angus Burgers over the course of eight minutes? Does Angus Young eat Angus Burgers?

These are all legitimate questions.

When the California contestant gets knocked out of this contest, I hope she throws some papers to the floor in tribute to Tim Floyd.

For what it's worth, I had Mississippi winning it all. She's out of it. My friend Moose says South Carolina is her favorite, and she's still in it.

Now, on to the all-important and crucial swimsuit competition...

Jumping over late to the Missusa Pageant, as we'll be calling it. Had to watch the end of the USC-UNC game. Have you ever seen a game where the momentum reversed that quickly? The Trojans looked like the best team in the tournament for five halves plus seven minutes. Then Taj Gibson picked up his fourth foul and the flip was switch. Or the switch was flip. Or the flip was wilsoned.

Whatever.

And then Pink Floyd tossed some papers onto the floor and took USC completely out of it in the game's final minute. That dude needs to spend more time with Pete Carroll inside Heritage Hall. Way too tightly wound. Yeah, Gibson's three second-half fouls were all questionable, and I think Floyd realized that he was riding the best horse in the race until Gibson's foul trouble took him out of it, but you just don't do that. After all, someone has to set a good example for O.J. Mayo.

The last time I can recall an NCAA game turning that dramatically in the second half was when Kentucky--with I believe Sam Bowie and Melvin Turpin--scored like two points over 12 minutes in the second half in a loss to...geez, I cannot remember.

USC actually had a 16-point lead at one point in the second half and then gave up a 16-0 run in the second half. Still, for the first 35 minutes, this was the most excellent game of the tourney. USC's defense and speed was outstanding.

The story of the comeback, in short: The Tar Heels' offensive rebounding, which was precipitated in large part by Gibson's absence.

...is not the Southern Cal-North Carolina game. No, tonight's big event starts in just niinety minutes: The Miss USA Pageant!!!. And I coudn't be more excited about that if someone were installing firedog in my home for free.

A lot of people, if they read this blog, may think that I have nothing better to do than catch up on Scrubs (like last night's "J.D'. Sitcom Fantasy", a classic!) repeats or search for photos of Helen Mirren . There's so much more to me than that. Like handicapping the Miss USA pageant.

The Miss USA pageant, unlike Miss America, presents a true face of contemporary American fabulous babes. Miss Nevada 2006: racy photos. Miss New Jersey '06: pregnancy. Miss USA '06: substance abuse rehab. It's nice to know that the women of Maui Fever actually have what it takes to win Miss USA.

After ninety minutes of exhaustive research here in my hotel room, I've put together a pre-pageant Top 10. My list of finalists. After one cycle of all 51 contestants, I'd narrowed the field down to 47 and had to reboot my laptop. Twice.

Now, the show airs live on the East Coast at 9 p.m., which means that by the time I have a chance to view it, Miss USA 2007 will already be chosen and on her way to a debilitating substance addiction. That said, I will still blog it live later this evening, but I promise to seal myself in my hotel room (while wearing pants at all times) and not read any emails, texts or notes passed under my door regarding the winner of this intense and spirited competition.

Now, onto the finalists, all of whom are quite capable of filling up their personal stats with a triple-double:

The Pitt band is playing The Mighty Mighty Bosstones' "The Impression That I Get" right now. Two songs you can always count on hearing at NCAA hoops games: That one and A-Ha's "Take On Me".

And I have absolutely zero problem with those choices. Love 'em both.

It's 52-45 UCLA with 2:48 to play. The Panthers just drained a three to come within nine. Still, there's been an invisible force field over the bucket the entire second half. They've missed too many easy shots. You just get the feeling that UCLA's been operating in 2nd gear for much of the half. Just gliding. Bruins are in control.

By the way, on the excitement scale, the first game here was about an 8 to 9. This one's been a 5. You could just feel the drop in energy level from the opening tip.

Shut up, Felix? In other words, maybe I misspoke. It's 54-48 UCLA with I:40 to play after another Pitt three. But they just fouled Collison with 92 ticks to play.

It's about to be 56-48, Bruins.

Five Pitt fans just stood up. They're all wearing white T-shirts, each one with a letter on it. When they stand up together it spells out "L-E-V-O-N". Because they dont' have enough friends to spell "SOMEONE SAVED MY LIFE TONIGHT". Then again, who does.

Pitt just nailed its third straight three-pointer, but Michael "Finger" Roll retaliated with a mid-range jumper.

58-51, Westwood, with 51.5 to play.

I provide these updates because I hope, for your sake, you're watching Tennesssee-Ohio State: "The Curse of the Orange Pearl".

Okay, it's all over: 64-55 the Bluins.

Face it. This is the blue-blood matchup you were hoping for. Kansas versus UCLA, or "Just Two Schools That Larry Brown Took to the Final Four Once Upon a Time".

UCLA has just doubled its advantage from six to twelve on consecutive threes by Michael Roll and Josh Shipp. Now Pitt has cut it to nine on a trey of their own to make it 43-34 with 9:43 to play.

One of Pitt's problems is that this game is too swift for them. They have a seven-footer with decent post movesand he has not been that much of a facotor. Gray has three fouls and eight points through more than 30 minutes. Who does he think he is, Josh McRoberts?

Momentum swing (since Gray left) . Pitt just hit a three and then UCLA committed an over-and-back violation (which I believe Anne Heche also committed). Anyway, Ben Howland's a smart dude and the UCLA just called a momentum-killing timeout. Because in NCAA basketball you can't just have William H. Macy go sit next to the coach who's team is on a run in order to cool them down. That's against the rules.

My old buddy, UCLA juggler Chris Smith is performing on the court during a timeout as we speak. Easily the best ball-handler on the court all day.

Smith is an aspiring film-maker, and the young man has as good a disposition as anyone you'll ever meet. He will be a star in something other than juggling someday, I predict.

***************

UCLA assistant coach Chris Carlson is--I apologize in advance--the world's oldest-looking 37 year-old. He even looks older than Greg Oden . Carlson is sitting on the bench holding placards that provide one-word commands for UCLA on defense or offense (examples: "Indiana" or "Dogs"). Either that or he's reprising Bob Dylan's iconic "Subterranean Homesick Blues" video.

I don't know how it looks from your plasma screen, but in person it's so cool to see UCLA's Nick Collison and Pitt's Aaron Gray on the ssame court. They're a human Contrast knob..

Collison is 6'1". Gray 7'0".
Collison is bald. Gray has floppy straight brown hair.
Collison is sinewy and dark. Gray is built like a plumber, albeit a very tall one.
Collison is lightning in a bottle. Gray is a little more, shall we say, deliberate.

Ebony and ivory/Live together in perfect harmony/Side by side on my piano keyboard/Why don't we?

PANTHERS

G--Antonio Graves
G-- Levance Fields
C--Aaron Gray
F--Levon Kendall (Canadian)
F--Mike Cook

BRUINS

G--Darren Collison....Hey, he's a Rancho Cucamongan! And his mom ran for Guyana (the 400) in the 1984 Olympics
G--Aaron Afflalo...Born at the UCLA Medical Center
C--Lorenzo "I'm not Thad" Mata
F--Josh Shipp...Dad played football at USC
F--Luc Richard Mbah a Moute....If I closed my eyes right now I could not retype his name correctly.

This may be the most inspired blog entry I've ever submitted.

Our man Jamaal got a pretty good look at a potential game-tying three from the top of the arc,, but it was a little off to the right. Falker fought hard for the rebound, but pulled a Chris Webber trying to decide on which teammate to pass the ball to. He couldn't decide on whether to toss it to guard Tony Young (14 points) or Tatum (19), and you know what they say about he who hesitates.

Falker half-tossed it between both teammates, and KU made the steal. Then, as mandated by the head of CBS programming, KU missed both free throws with 2.2 seconds left, providing the Salukis one final opportunity to launch a game-tying three. Young's shot from a step beyond half court fell short.

KU advances to Saturday, 61-58, in a game that likely surpassed everyone's expectations.

SIU guard Jamaal Tatum--the dude with the dreds whose dribbling routes remind you of a Family Circus Sunday comic is fun to watch. He dribbles around two or three Jayhawks, looking for teammates to set picks, until he finds an opening. Tatum has hit SIU's last two buckets, but Brandon Rush just grabbed a board and scored the put-back. Rush was fouled, too.

If he hits this shot, KU will have its largest lead of the second half. Nope, missed it. KU 52-49.

Falker! Randal just hit a lay-up. This rim likes him much, much better. It's 52-51, KU.

Now 54-51. 2:56 to play.

Are you watching this???

Of course you are. SIU may not have the McDonald's All-Americans that Kansas has, but this is no upset. The Salukis are right in this game (it's 37-36, Dogs, as I type this) and their Jack Black-Kyle Gass pressure (oops...I just typed Gass pressure) is frustrating the Jayhawks. Oh, and Randal Falker just made a bucket. It's all going SIU's way, and you'd never guess which school has become the crowd favorite.

Which is to say that a Saluki can be a female dog, at least half the time. That's a response to our fearless commenter Bob who asked if it was painfully obvious that KU got a gift hoop when the clock expired. Yes, it was a gift hoop, but later in the first half SIU appeared to score a bucket after their shot clock expired, too.

I looked over at KU coach Bill Self and he didn't even grimace, or complain. It was as if Self said (to his Self), They deserve that.

I'm actually loving the PENALTY BOX. And I'm loving this game. SIU leads 24-23 with 3:21 remaining in the first half.

It's obvious--at least to me--that KU has superior talent, but SIU just plays very well together. Defensively they've been able to make the stops and on offense the Nile Coyotes have buried enough threes to make the Jayhawks nervous. Six-foot senior guard Tony Young already has three threes.

Inside, 6'9" power forward Randal Falker has, thanks to some tasty passing, been free for two dunks (both of which he's missed) and another two layups (both of which were missed and were whistled (one was a foul on KU; Falker made one of two; the other was called a charge, a dubious decision at best).Falker has five points thus far but should have double digits.

By the way, if you're wondering about the potential Meet The Parents connection with Mr. Falker, I do not believe that he has a sibling named Gaylord. However, Randal's mom has the same profession as Ben Stiller's character: she is a nurse (actually, the head nurse at a hospital in St. Louis).

That would be Mother Falker.

At the half it's Kansas 27, SIU 24. And the crowd is totally buzzing.

Greetings from San Jose (California, not Costa Rica), site of the Men's NCAA West Regional. It's 4:19 p.m. locally and the Southern Illinois Salukis (i.e. Egyptian Dogs) trail the No. 1 seed Kansas Jayhawks (i.e. Rock Chalk) 8-2.

I am seated on press row in name only. Actually, my seat is located in the San Jose Shark penalty box here at the HP Pavilion. Please understand: I ain't complaining. The seat's at midcourt and it's free. Besides, it's no big deal that my lap top is currently located in my lap. That's what it's called, after all. And, after all, I did commit a high-sticking violation back at the hotel this morning (more than you needed to know).

Dear Matt Schaub-

It is with great hope, high expectations and excitement to welcome you to the Houston Texans as the 2007 starting quarterback. Be sure to enjoy today. Let it all sink in. You finally, after all those seasons sitting the bench in Atlanta, are a real life starting QB. And that check?! Talk about money. You, my friend are set!

So, yes enjoy it all now. Because in a few months, on the back of your jersey, there will be a huge target on your back. Coach Kubiak, the owners and this team are looking to you to turn things around. Pressure? Uh.. yeah.

David Carr had five years to do it. Couldn't and is now shopping for a new place to call home.
"We're working with his representatives and David to find a place for him to continue his NFL career," Smith said. "Matt is our starting quarterback. We're trying to help David find another place. We're trying to trade him today, maybe the next couple of days."

So enjoy today.
Welcome to the team.
Now go win us some games.
With love, (until you disapoint)
Texans Fans

So we had that conference call with Falcons GM and competition committee co-overlord Rich McKay yesterday. This blog threw most of the prime points into a story that popped yesterday afternoon.

However, we left out our favorite quote from the call which was: "The period for rubbing down balls will be expanded to 20 to 45 minutes prior to the game. This recommendation is so that there's no perception that balls being played with aren't approproiate."

And who would ever say that.

McKay was talking about the "K" balls used in the kicking game, of course. (Of course!). It was kinda funny, at least to those with a sophomoric sense of humor, that nearly every time McKay referred to the footballs as "balls" during the discussion, he'd quickly amend it to "footballs".

The rule proposal to which the man referred was that, in contrast to last season, the balls to be used in the kicking game would be broken in some. According to McKay, this move is not in response to the Tony Romo Hold Gone Bad from the NFC Wild Card round when a particularly shiny ball eluded Our Hero's grasp. But the sheen on the ball and the resulting conversation about whether an extra-slick ball was in play convinced the NFL that it didn't need THAT kind of talk going on in the future.

Also, one good news/bad news development...the umpire (the official that stands with the linebackers) is going to be moved into the offensive backfield in NFL Europe and for the first two games of the NFL preseason.

The good news is that the risk to officials, many of whom are past the age where they can safely take the jostling, will be moved from harm's way. The bad news? There goes some good football follies fodder.

THURSDAY WHIPAROUND

* John McLain has the details on who talked to whom to get Matt Schaub into Houston.

* Could the Dolphins be going Carr shopping? Armando Salguero lays out that scenario.

* If he never did TV and only wrote columns like this one on Rex Grossman, this blog's gag reflex wouldn't kick in every time it hears the name Jay Mariotti.

* Feel good for Montae Reagor. Les Bowen tells you why.

* Bengals owner Mike Brown will vote against replay at the owner's meetings next week. After traveling to Phoenix by horse and buggy, Brown's also expected to declare the internet a "passing fad" and come out against "cell phones", pointing out that if you're in jail you don't deserve a phone in your room.

* A good Q&A between Mary Kay Cabot and Browns owner Randy Lerner.

* The Dallas City Council is dropping ultimatums on the folks lobbying the NFL for Super Bowl XLV (the 2011 one).

* Rod Smith is going to be in Denver for a while. Is he a Hall of Famer? Discuss.

This morning I was driving on the 210 freeway in southern California and found myself driving through the otherwise forgettable suburb of Rancho Cucamonga. And I thought to myself, I might enjoy living here. For the fine school system or tree-lined streets, you wonder? No!

Rather, it would be fun to reply, whenever anyone asked me where I was from, "Rancho Cucamonga!" Because you can't just say Rancho Cucamonga the way you'd say, "Springfield", for example. You'd have to really get into it. Accentuate the syllables. "Ran-CHO Cu-CA-mon-GA!" How much fun would that be to say?

There's new video in town!

SIdelines is the new sports video show right here on NBCSports.com. Jimmy Roberts is the host and you won't want to miss it. The show combines the expertise from the guys of Sports Illustrated with the latest news in sports.

You don't have to search too far to find it. Just look on the front page in the Top Video section. Now you've got a sports show right at your desk!

Hey, in case you missed it, there are new options at the top of the blog. Included in that is email... so if you get the urge to write, by all means send an email my way!

If you're a Chiefs' fan your quarterback situation should be a constant source of offseason irritation.

Just two months ago, Chiefs coach Herman Edwards refused to consider pulling a putrid Trent Green from a Wild Card playoff loss to the Colts in favor of Damon Huard. The very suggestion was dismissed out of hand to NBC sideline reporter Bob Neumeier at halftime. The Chiefs picked up their first first-down of the game with 3:33 left in the third and lost 23-8

So now it's two months later. Unless this blog missed it, the Chiefs have played no additional games. Yet Huard's been signed to a new deal while Green is still getting dangled as trade bait.

This isn't a debate about the merits of either guy as the Chiefs starter (although this blog thinks that if all things were equal -- salary and health -- Green would be the better option). The larger point is that Kansas City was IN THE PLAYOFFS AND THREE WINS FROM GETTING TO THE SUPER BOWL yet it was blasphemy to suggest a mid-game quarterback change? Now, 70 days later, the guy who couldn't be pulled is on the ropes?

And the guy they didn't want to turn the team over to during that playoff game, Huard, now may be asked to win, say, 10 regular-season games just to get the Chiefs into the playoffs and where they were when Edwards should have made the move.

You see it way too often in the NFL. Coaches want their teams playing with a sense of urgency yet when those teams get the coaches in a position where they need to coach with urgency, coaches freeze.

Rex Grossman's Super Bowl ineptitude was clear to the planet but Lovie Smith didn't have the belly to pull him and Grossman cost the Bears the game. It was 22-17 with 16:14 remaining in the game and Grossman hadn't personally engineered a drive that crossed the 50 in the game's first 44 minutes. But Smith stuck with him and Grossman rewarded Smith by getting picked off on the next two drives on passes a decent high school QB would have seen were lamebrained.

When will the Bears be that close again?

Herman Edwards is a good soundbite. His signature quip, "You play....to win....the game..." gets plenty of airplay.

Hey Herm. You coach to win the game too. Especially in the playoffs. Even if that means pissing off your starter and opening yourself up for second-guessing and a week of QB intrigue.

Making a move in March, April or May that needed to be made at halftime of a playoff game is taking the easy way out.

TUESDAY WHIPAROUND

* Mrs. Claus: "Eat, Damien, eat. No one likes a skinny Woody."

* Mike Tomlin opens the voluntary training program in Pittsburgh with a no-bull speech, says Ed Bouchette.

* Asante Samuel, who got slapped with the Patriots franchise designation, didn't show for the start of workouts in Foxboro yesterday, notes Albert Breer. Ever notice nobody has the franchise tag "placed" or "applied" it's almost always "slapped." This blog would like to be the official tag slapper to the NFL.

* Chris Draft, the former Panthers LB and friend to the Bump 'n Run, signs in St. Louis for three years. Jim Thomas handles it.

* Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey opt out of the first day of voluntary workouts for the Giants. Despite not attending, Shockey still whines about not getting the ball enough during the workout.

* This Joey Porter guy? Seems like a loose cannon, dontcha think?

The Devils have just run off eight straight points, punctuated by Jill Noe's three-pointer, to pull within four points. ASU hasn't been this close to L'ville since the score was 4-0. There's 5:58 remaining and ASU has the ball.

Orsillo drive...GOOD. 54-52.

Briann January, who--I don't care what anyone else says--is the MVP of this Sun Devil team, just hit two free throws to tie the score at 54. There's just over four minutes left to play. ASU is in the midst of a 12-0 run.

Just for the record, ASU was down 19-4 at one point. It's the third game in a row ASU has trailed by 15 points. In all three they've come back to at least within a bucket. They lost the first time to Stanford, beat UC-Riverside on Saturday night and now find themselves tied with Louisville at 54-all with 3:50 to play.

ASU has a very good "In Case of a 15-Point Deficit" strategy. I don't know what it is, but it works.

The Cardinals have run one play all second half, the high post pick near the top of the key, but it has been effective. Arizona State has managed to keep it around ten thanks to some steals by Briann January and a timely shot or two.

If ASU is going to pull off another mini-miracle, they'll do it via the free throw line. Louisville's next foul will put them in the penalty and the Devils need to slow down the game anyway.

Weird Revelation of the Last 17 Seconds: The exhortation "Go Devils" includes the words "God", "Devil" and "Evil".

ASU is lucky to be in this game right now.

Th NCAA is lucky any of us are still here.

The Sun Devils shot 20.7% in the first half (6-29) and are only still in the game because they went 4-8 from beyond the arc. ASU seniors Aubree Johnson and Emily Westerberg, the de facto team leaders, are a combined 0-10 from the field. Jill Noe, a three-year starter, is 0-4.

Other stats not worth noting:

--Louisville has one assist.
--ASU has zero steals.
--The Cards only shot 33.3%.

So far the play has picked up in the second half. With 17:44 to play it's 35-28 Cards.

It's not that Arizona State isn't in Louisville's class. It's that the Sun Devils are not in the Cardinals' weight class.

The Cards have big, thick gals, and as women's sports media guides almost never include weight, I could only fathom the avoirdupois differential between the two teams. Suffice it to say that Louisville is home-cooking; Arizona State is Zen Palate (I always leave that place hungry, which is why I never visit any more...besides, they never have the chicken wings). ASU is the Diet Pepsi Center; Louisville is Rump Arena.

At halftime it's Louisville 28, ASU 23. It's remarkable that L'ville was not able to put away ASU considering how dominant they were on defense in the game's opening ten minutes. I'm waiting on the stats, but the Cards may have had just as poor a shooting % as did the Devils.

We need to update this: At the 9:02 mark of the first half Arizona State still does not have a field goal...and yet they only trail by nine, 13-4. This is not a pee wee league game. This is Division I basketball game. We repeat, all of the players on this court have their drivers licenses.

Check out Louisville's media guide. Every player is posed with a brass instrument in honor of 6'1" senior forward Jazz Covington . It's a cute gimmick. Hey, why not? My idea was for them to all be dressed as barmaids with a banner over them that reads Tom Collen's Mix .

See, Tom Collen, he's the Louisville coach.

What might ASU do in terms of a themed media guide? Well, they do have point guard Reagan Pariseau . They could buy a bunch of those Ronald Reagan masks like the one Bode and his gang wore in Point Break , a film that despite starring Patrick Swayze and a not-yet-burnt-out Nick Nolte I will defned as one of the coolest flicks I've ever seen.

...if you're an ASU fan, is that after more than seven minutes, the Sun Devils have held Louisville to just seven points. Less than one per minute.

The bad news, though, is that the Devils do not yet have a leading scorer. Everyone is tied with you and me, at zero points. It' s7-0 with 12:41 left to play in the first half.

More bad news: Briann January , who seems to have drawn the defensive assignment on Louisville's Angel McCoughtry, just picked up her second foul.

9-0, Louisville, at 11:34.

ASU has missed its first, I dunno, ten shots at least...and somewhere Bill Simmons is howling.

Kate Engelbrecht just ended the drought with a pair of free throws. That scoreless era, officially, was 8:51.

For the past two minutes Louisville forward Yuliya Tokova has been writhing on the ground, crying. Looks like a left ACL injury. That must hurt like a (excuse me) bitch because both times I've seen this injury happen live I've seen tears. I cry when I get a nosebleed.

How bad is the injury? I just saw Barbaro's vet walk onto the court.

Louisville leads 5-0 at the 15:46 mark. ASU passes the ball very nicely in the halfcourt offense, but you don't get any points for passing. There's a timeout at the moment and my guess is that Charli Turner Thorne is calling for fewer pump fakes and more shots.

The wordplay part of me wonders if we'll be writing that ASU will be 0-4 versus teams with "Cardinal" in their name this season and 29-1 against everyone else.

"There are 24 players on the active rosters for tonight's Louisville-Arizona State women's basketball game, and almost all of them are going pro in something other than sports."

In fact, the most likely WNBA-bound player in tonight's game is Louisville's 6'1" sophomore forward Angel McCoughtry , who is the Big East Player of the Year.

I'm sitting courtside at the Galen Center between the lovely Arash Markazi of SI.com and the lovelier Lara Boyko of CSTV.com. It's Dot-Com Row, and we're on DefCon 5.

The George Washington Colonials are up by nine on Texas A&M with 3:50 left to play and here's what you need to know:

Best Costume

The GWU mascot. He's dressed like the school namesake, right down to a head covering complete with powdered wig. But what completes the outfit, what sets him apart, are the blue Pumas he's wearing. Ms. Boyko wonders if that look on his mask is "boredom or constipation". My guess is that he's conflicted about having to cheer for a sport that did not yet exist while he was living.

Best Progeny

La Toya Micheaux, daughter of Phi Slamma Jamma sledgehamma Larry Micheaux . It's amazing to think about it now, but when that 1983 Houston Cougar team burst onto the scene, they were unlike any college team most of us had ever watched. Akeem (he was "H-free" at the time) Olajuwon was the most athletic center I'd ever seen and Clyde Drexler was a collegiate Dr. J. Then there was Micheaux, who had the most intimidating physique I'd ever seen in the college game. No Ralph Sampson, he.

The thing of it is, that's what most every college team in the tournament resembles today. Still very few--maybe no-- college centers possess the footwork The Dream did, but every major conference team has a player with Micheaux's build. But that's not the way it was back then.

La Toya, by the way, has guns just like her pops. She's 6'3" and she'd totally kick both your and my arse.

Best Census-Taking

Ms. Boyko of CSTV. Scanning the crowd, she accurately observes that the NCAA and various school officials and pep bands (not the NCAA's pep band, though; they didn't show) outnumber the paying customers here at the Galen Center. Hey, I'm not knocking the product. I volunteered for this gig. I'm just saying there's a 4:25 showing of "Shooter " playing at the Magic Johnson Theaters that is outdrawing this game.

Best Ruby-Red Velvet Pants

The A&M cheer squad. And they've got some spunk, as well. After GWU head coach Joe McKeown was T'd up in the second half, they yelled as one, "Sit down, bus driver."

Final Score

GWU 59, A&M 47. L'il Micheaux walks off court with tears in her eyes. You have to love that she cares that much.

It isn't that this stuff only happens to me, but it's that it seems to happen to me a lot more often than it does most of my friends. My buddy Tim Crothers used to tell me I should commit all of these bizarre encounters to a journal, and I'd already have a book by now. Or at least a sitcom. Maybe, but I prefer to operate under the ruse that I'm not as big an idiot as UFC fans believe me to be (even if they are correct).

What am I talking about? Let me tell you what happened to me Saturday night.

I'm out here in Los Angeles, following the Arizona State women's basketball team as they roll through the tournament (I'm NBCSports.com's Shelley Smith). Anyway, the Sun Devils were nice enough to let me ride in the team bus from their hotel over to the Galen Center for Saturday night's game. I am familiar enough with team bus protocol to know that I need to sit up front with the adults and, as we're driving to a game, keep my yap shut.

Anyway, the bus is rather full. As I walk on I realize that some unlucky Devil official is going to have to share his or her seat with me. I look for a friendly face and sure enough a nice woman who looks to be in her forties offers to share her seat. I ask her what she does with the team. "I'm the life coach," she replies. So ASU has its own life coach, but that's just the beginning of the story.

Her name is Carlette Patterson and she informs me that she life coaches not just the Sun Devil hoopsters but a lot of pro athletes as well. I ask her how she got into such a line of work. "My husband and I started the business," Patterson says. "He played in the NBA."

So naturally I ask her who her husband is. Wouldn't you?

"Steve Patterson," she says.

Now, in my own defense, when I reached this part of the story in the re-telling of it to my editor Barry, who is a human sports encyclopedia, his reaction was the same as mine: "The guy that just resigned from the Blazers?"

I put it a little more subtly. "Wasn't your husband just working with Portland?" I asked.

Please, understand, this is a pre-game bus ride. Everyone is anxious. No one is talking. Although Carlette and I are speaking in a low volume, I'm sure our conversation is being listened in on by no less than half the bus. Which is why, when she answered, "He's dead", I felt more than a little stupid.

I wasn't about to contradict a widow, but I did ask, "The Steve Patterson who played center for UCLA?"

Carlette said yes, that's the one.

And so now I felt like more of an idiot. I did not realize that the Steve Patterson who recently resigned as general manager of the Portland Trail Blazers is not the same Steve Patterson who--I've since learned--was self-aware enough to introduce himself as an answer to a trivia question: The UCLA center whose Bruin career at that position was sandwiched between those of Lew Alcindor and Bill Walton.

So that you never make that same mistake--and especially not to Patterson's widow-- Steve Patterson the UCLA center and eventual Cleveland Cavalier (who had a KILLER '70s mustache, by the way) passed away three summers ago of cancer. Carlette was very friendly about the misunderstanding and I daresay is the type of upbeat presence who is more than qualified to do some life coaching.

Saturday was St. Patrick's Day- a holiday in Manhattan that is just slightly less popular then New Years.
Just slightly.

While everyone was out drinking green beer and celebrating the Irish, I was at home studying up on the Irish. The Irish of Notre Dame, specifically Charlie Weis.

He and his lovely wife Maura were in town for the fundraiser Hannah and Friends, a foundation they created in honor of their daughter Hannah. We'd arranged an interview with the Weis' for our next Breakfast with Tiffany.

Pause for a moment and let me ask: Have you ever watched Charlie Weis on the sidelines of a football game? Does intimidating come to mind? Exactly. I had no idea what to expect once the two of them walked in the room. They blew me away.

This interview may be one of my favorites. For two people who have so much, they are determined to give as much or more back to families who are in need. What a down to earth, sweet and compassionate couple. They've dedicated themselves to using the clout that comes along with Charlie's success as a tool to help build awareness for their daughter. It was inspiring because they were so sincere, open and warm.

Of course we got around to some football talk as well, including Brady, the upcoming draft, the 2007 season and the QB situation at Notre Dame. This is one story you have to watch, coming up this Friday!

My love of sports is in large part due to my love for my dad. Growing up in a family of four children, 3 of which are girls, dad had his hands full of girlie stuff: ballet slippers, dance costumes, pom poms, hair spray, you get the picture.

My sisters and I never played sports. Dance, gymnastics, cheerleading-yes. Soccer, softball, tennis? Not so much. However, he did always take us girls to the park. Sometimes just to run, or go fishing, or throw some basketballs into a hoop (a full on game wasn't happening). But my favorite was when he taught us baseball. A left handed pitcher in college, dad made sure to give us the softball pitch so we had a chance at making some contact.

Swing and a miss. "Keep your eye on the ball. Try again."
Swing and a miss. "Good try. Watch the ball. Remember your stance Tiff."
Swing and a hit! "Go! Go! Go! Keep running!" We'd run around our made up bases, straight into home and then get a high five.

The main reason I can throw a football? My dad.
Why I like the Angels? My dad.
Who took me to Spring Training at Dodgertown to watch Tommy Lasorda and the Dodgers? My dad.

Sports aside, he's also just about the coolest person ever. And I couldn't be happier to wish him the biggest Happy Birthday ... Have a great day dad... Be loving you.

In the end, the snappy fix-up job by the Colts defense in the playoffs wasn't enough for Cato June. Wasn't enough to wipe clean memories of running backs taking what they wanted when they wanted from a defense that he was at the center of.

So June collected dust on the free agent shelf until the Buccaneers signed him to a relatively meager contract for a 27-year-old Super Bowl champion - a reported three years and $12 million.

Too many teams looked at June and wondered what they'd do with a 6-foot, 227-pound linebacker who was really a souped-up safety. Can he cover? Absolutely. But with more teams either using the 3-4 or a bastardized version of it - a scheme that demands size over speed at LB - June is on the back end of the Cover-2 wave.

The proliferation of the platoon running back system probably is going to lead to a greater commitment to running the ball from a lot of clubs and June is nobody's idea of a run-stuffer.

So where does the loss of June leave the Colts? As Mike Chappell wrote in the Indy Star wrote, there's not much in the fold to cover for June on the weak side of the 4-3.

The Colts have now lost three important players from their Super Bowl team - June, corner Nick Harper and running back Dominic Rhodes. Considering they made it past a flu-ridden Patriots team by the skin of their teeth in the AFC Championship game and New England's done nothing but get stronger this offseason, the balance of AFC power may be returning to the Northeast.

MONDAY WHIPAROUND

* The Joyless One signs an extension. This ensures that, having pushed Tom Coughlin to lame-duck status, Coughlin's eventual successor is probably a dead duck before he's even been hired.

* Great story by Todd Archer on the evolution of the 40 as a scouting tool. A really good lead sentence on it, too.

* The tundra ain't gonna be quite the same in Green Bay next year, says Bob McGinn.

* The Cards - and the rest of the league - are into the second stage of free agency: value shopping and team building, writes Kent Somers.

ASU guard (and karate black belt) Briann January just hit a three from the corner to cap a 9-0 run for the Devils, pulling them to within 44-38. After a timeout UCR just ripped off four unanswered points. Danielle "Airball" Orsillo just hit a three from the top of the arc for ASU, making it 48-41 with 7:25 to play.

The difference in the past four minutes has been the Devil D. The help defender has finally started, well, helping, when a UCR dribbler blows past her perimeter defender. January just took a charge. That and ASU is only allowing one shot. Aubree Johnson has been a stud on the boards, too.

Hang on for a wild finish.

UC-Riverside leads 38-25 with 16:16 to play. To be honest (as opposed to those times I write dishonestly), the Highlanders have been in control of this game from the opening tip, which they also won. They've owned the boards and are simply more athletic than the Sun Devils.

ASU coach Charli Turner Thorne subs in a lot of players, and that's partly a product of a system that's based on a motion offense. On the other hand, the Devils do not have a go-to scorer (the top five scorers average between 13 and 9 ppg) and now that they face a 15-point deficit with 15 minutes to play, the lack of a go-to scorer limits them.

There's a brand of toughness that ASU has yet to demonstrate this evening if they are going to win this game. Through two-thirds of the game, UCR has played more aggressively, more athletically and simply better.

--ASU's Danielle Orsillo is being badgered by the FBI (UCR fan section) for having shot an airball five minutes ago. They haven't let up since. Every time she touches the ball, she hears it. Orsillo was just waiting to shoot two free throws after a timeout and they started the chant again. Orsillo started chanting along with them, then made both free throws.

With 13:48 to play, it's 44-29 UCR. The Devils simply cannot get a stop.

--CBS, thank yo ufor showing us the blimp shot of the arena, but one roof looks pretty much like the other. Why not position an exterior camera so as to capture the skyline of a city, or some unique vantage point. No city, by the way, inspires more sports TV producers than Phoenix when it comes to doing this. How many times have you watched a Suns game when the longview shot was from behind a cactus, in the foreground, looking out to the Phoenix skyline? All those shots are usually taken from Squaw Peak Park, by the way (they've renamed Squaw Peak, by the way, but I don't acknowledge the new name).
But returning to the point, if ever there was one, why focus a camera just on the roof of the arena and at most one city block in each direction? For all we know it's a CostCo or a new Super Target.

-- I love the job my friend Seth Davis does, but what's up with the flag lapel pin? Yes, I'm patriotic, but aren't we all? I also believe in God. Can I wear a lapel pin of an old man with a gray beard? I'm pro-blonde, too (I'm not afraid to be contrarian). What if I just wear a lapel pin of Valerie Plame , which would signify both my pro-blonde and pro-American stance?

--This isn't a CBS beef, but a hoops rules beef: How come the team that scores is allowed to call a timeout immediately after scoring? We need to do away with most timeouts in general, but especially with that variety. Once you score, you're on defense. You shouldn't be allowed to dictate the pace of the other team's offense, or to sub in a player specifically for defense. I'm also against the falling-out-of-bounds timeout, the loose-ball-on-the-floor timeout, and the If-you-don't-stop-teasing-your-little-sister-you're-going-to-need-a timeout. I am anti-timeout. Is there a lapel pin I can wear for that?

At the half, UC-Riverside leads 32-25 and it is anything but a fluke. The Highlanders, coached by John Margaritis, are frustrating the Sun Devils with a matchup zone. ASU cannot outquick UCR and the team from "The Inland Empire", as Riverside dubs itself, has enough height in the paint to bedevil the Sun Devils inside.

It seems as if the entire half consisted of ASU in its half-court offense, tossing the ball on the perimeter. The Devils have picked up the Highlanders full-court on defense man-to-man but UCR has only committed a few turnovers.

In short, there's an upset buzz building here at the Galen Center. Oh, it's not about to lead off the 2 a.m. edition of SportsCenter or anything like that, but this would be the first big upset of the women's tourney.

We are blogging live from the Galen Center from the campus of USC. It's the final game of the evening in the women's hoops first-round action between No. 14 seed UC-Riverside and No. 3 seed Arizona State.

News and notes from earlier in the day here:

--George Washington defeated Boise State, which is significant because it was likely the cheer career finale of Bronco pom potentate Chrissy Popadics . You may remember her as the cheerleader to whom Fiesta Bowl here Ian Johnson proposed after Fox's Chris Myers bullied him into it (kidding, Chris). Anyway, Ian was here earlier today to cheer on his favorite cheerleader in her farewell performance.

--You have to see the Texas A&M women's basketball media guide, or better yet, order it on Amazon. It's a hard-cover tome and it's filled with big pictures and hardly any of those annoying statistics. The page layouts are amazing, the photos of the players and even assistant coaches are like Vanity Fair covers. I don't know who put this together, but I hope the Aggies got a fair shrare of press for all his/her effort. Me, I'm taking this home. I traffic mostly in paperbacks, so it'll be nice addition to my "hardcover library". Something to put on the shelf besides the Hardy Boys series.

--Meanwhile, back at the basketball game, UC-Riverside , taking advantage of a partisan fan base, a minor size advantage and just flat-out talent, have jumped out to a 12-7 lead on Arizona State. The Highlanderss are playing suffocating interior defense, while the Sun Devils have only played aggressively in small spurts.

I'm told that the athletic director at Riverside, Stan Morrison, is a huge fan of the film Braveheart . You and me both, Stan. Anyway, their pep band and a lot of the UCR fans are donning blue T-shirts that read FBI: Fanatic Braveheart Intimidators . "They can take away our high-post offense, but they will NEVER TAKE AWAY OUR FREEDOM!"

This week on Breakfast with Tiffany, I interview Randy Couture. He is the current UFC Heavyweight Champion, five-time champion overall. Upon first glance, Randy is an intimidating guy. For someone who reaches 5'5" on a good day, (there is a reason my brother calls me 'Hobbit') this guy is huge! However, after the "Hello, how are you?" I realized he's also one of the kindest men in sports.

We spoke about his return to the UFC and how he had to prepare to take down Tim Sylvia. Through our talk, it was refreshing to get an inside look at the world of UFC. To the untrained eye, it appears that the guys just jump into a ring and begin to fight. That way of thinking couldn't be further from the truth. There is an immense amount of training, discipline and dedication that goes into these fights.

And for a man who is respected and yet feared inside a ring, he couldn't have been any kinder in person.
Check out the story!

Xavier for pulling out that win last night. It was a close one, but you did it. Now please follow along with your pre-destined tournament journey and lose to Ohio State.

Marquette, Gonzaga, DUKE, and Texas Tech ... so much for this year guys. Thanks for coming to the Dance.
Good-bye.

Mad props to Eastern Kentucky They were down by a half a million points in the first FEW MINUTES of the game. They went into halftime trailing 27 points. After the half, a new team emerged in Eastern Kentucky and they came pretty close to making a real threat at 48-44. UNC pulled it out. But for those who pushed UNC all the way into the Final Four...beware.

Coach Roy Williams of UNC : ''I think it was so easy (early) that we lost our focus and then all of a sudden we got a little sloppy and made some bad decisions,'' Williams said. ''We have a really young team ... and I think we thought it was going to be too easy.''

Not so much.

I would like to give a huge congrats to Julie Rubinstein, who successfully predicted 15 correct NCAA Basketball wins yesterday. She was the only one in our office pool to do so and leads the pack! Her Final Four are:
Pitt, UNC, Wisconsin and Ohio State. She's got the Buckeyes pegged to win it all.

This blog hasn't checked with its higher-ups here at NBC but it's pretty sure that if it was on probation and police uncovered six automatic weapons (and a crapload of ammo!) in a raid, the Peacock might not release a statement like this:

"We continue our support of the Bump 'n Run and it will remain a member of our website. The Bump 'n Run has made many positive changes to better its life. We believe it will continue on this path at the conclusion of its sentence."

Maybe this blog would be surprised. Don't know. Don't want to find out.

But Tank Johnson found out. Found out that the mean old Bears who were slow to give Lovie Smith a new contract and used the evil franchise tag on Lance Briggs also stood by their Tank on Thursday.

Remember, they could have said nothing at all. They could have just let the man who had to petition a judge to leave Illinois so he could play in the Super Bowl go quietly to jail. He certainly brought them enough negative pub with this situation.

Instead, they released the statement above (just put "Tank" in where it says "Bump 'n Run"). No doubt, Johnson's getting some support because he plays football well. If he was a fringe guy the whole, "positive changes to better his life" bit would be impossible to include because Mr. Fringe would have likely been lopped and nobody would know what changes he'd been making. That might have been the easy thing to do with Johnson. More people would have stood and applauded. But the Bears are considering Johnson as a person and doing what they believe is the right thing.

They went the extra step for Johnson putting themselves out there with the kind of statement we in the media will turn into a noose if Tank augments his arsenal again.

Question the character of Tank Johnson all you want. And, what the hell, call the Bears cheap. But with so many stories of NFL miscreants in front of the public right now, Chicago is taking the hard road here in supporting Johnson so publicly. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong. But Johnson's lucky to be working for them.

FRIDAY WHIPAROUND

* Kevin Curtis' neverending free agent tour does end. In Philadelphia. Have so many keystrokes been devoted to a player as pedestrian as Curtis?

* Denver will allow Big Daddy extra time before he has to go to the Rockies to turn his head and cough.

* Randy Moss to Green Bay? Not quite yet it appears. But if this were a betting blog, it would have long odds on it not happening. Did I say that right? Or is it short odds on it happening? Whatever, this blog thinks it'll go down.

You wake up this morning and you learn that Pete Rose confessed on a radio show that while managing he bet on baseball (albeit his own Cincinnati Reds) "every night". That Khalid Sheik Mohammed told a military tribunal that "I was responsible for the 9/11 operation, from A to Z", among other monstrosities.

And I don't know why both confessions have come to light on the same day, but considering how things so often happen in threes, shouldn't some Florida camera crew be driving over to O.J.'s house this afternoon?

***************************************

The Valley of the Sun is buzzing over Phoenix's 129-127 double overtime win at Dallas last night. Here's hoping that the Suns brass realizes that although Stevie Nash may just win his third consecutive MVP and "That's Amare" had 41 points on 16 of 19 shooting, the Suns don't win this game (or Game 6 of the first round of last spring's playoffs against LA) unless Shawn Marion grabs a clutch offensive rebound in the waning moments.

The only thing that detracts from The Matrix's underappreciated performance on the court every night is that he so stridently does not underappreciate it himself. After last night's win, in which he did a great job of guarding Dirk Nowitzki in the second half, Marion told reporters that he was the "Defensive Player of the Year, hands down."

Maverick owner Mark Cuban made more genius moves before the age of 25 than almost all of us will make in our lifetimes, but how does he sleep each night knowing that he could have both Dirk and Nash on his team right now. All Dallas lacks is the finish 'em instinct and that's what Nash, had Dallas never let him go, would have provided.

It's telling that Sun sixth man Leandro Barbosa had 17 points and that's considered somewhat of a down game for the blazin' Brazilian. Barbosa has had two 32-point games this month. The best part about this, for the Suns, is that last summer they locked up Leandro for five years at $33 million. That is what you can call a steal.

Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.

Today is the kind of day when its perfect to work in the world of sports. Why? Well my friend, March Madness is officially underway in T-minus a couple and I don't have to give my boss an excuse OR sneak out of the office to catch the first games at Noon. In fact, we're expected to watch. How's that for studying up on the job? But in order for YOU to catch the start of the game, we might have to get creative.

Lets go over options for your escape:
At about 11, your stomach should start cramping. Could it have been that sushi last night? Your head will begin to pound. (Side note: For those with children, here's your chance. You always can blame it on the kids. Little Jack and Sydney been coming down with something and suddenly you think you have it too). Of course you could probably go with the sore throat or a hacking cough routine. What about allergies? That's a good one.

Either way make yourself sick, real sick, convincingly sick. Then allow your campaign for Mr/Ms Congeniality to play into action. Plead your case that you're so concerned about the well being of your co-workers and you would simply feel horrible if you infected those at nearby cubicles. With sincere regrets, its time to go home and rest.

Then bee-line it for the nearest bar, pub, hole-in-the-wall spot that is sporting some plasmas and a nice selection of beers. (Note to ladies: it is unacceptable to drink anything other then beers while watching March Madness. Yes, I hear you about the calories, but seriously? Might I remind you... Rule No. 76: No excuses, play like a champion).

At about 12:20, Marlyand takes on Davidson and shortly after Texas Tech goes at it with Boston College. The first two games to spark 19 days of basketball craziness.

You ready? I know you're ready for the game, I meeeaaannnn are you ready with your excuse?
In the words of Tim Gunn, "Make it work."

JaMarcus Russell laid off the Ring Dings for the past three weeks and generations of Russells will probably benefit from that sacrifice.

Russell, the presumptive No. 1 pick in the draft, was on display at the LSU Pro Day on Wednesday. He needed to do two things: 1) throw well; 2) somehow convey that succeeding at football is on his mind 24-7.

He took care of No. 1 in a way that had scouts, coaches and GMs tripping over their tongues.

Said Raiders head coach Lane Kiffin after watching Russell wrist-flick 70-yard passes, "Obviously, at some point, by not working out at the combine he needed to work out for us to see him in person. We were definitely on the same page here and he definitely helped himself.”

As for No. 2? Russell weighed 256 pounds, down nine pounds from where he was at the combine when he his shirt came off and eyebrows went up at his flabbiness.

With the Raiders holding the No. 1 pick, they're probably going to invest around $60 million in Russell if they take him. When you're talking that kind of money, everything counts in large amounts and Russell showing up on the cusp of fatness at the combine is akin to any of us in the real world showing up for a job interview without pants (unless the job entailed pantslessness).

Eyes have rolled over Russell belly fixation. Those eyes often belonged to fat people.

If you're a pro athlete, your body announces how seriously you prepare and the commitment you're willing to make. Having the kind of lump Russell did at the age of 21 was an affront to the process. He fixed that.

And likely ensured that he can buy Hostess if he wants to.

THURSDAY WHIPAROUND

* Fred Mitchell catches up with a Bears holdout from 21 years ago. He has some interesting counsel for Lance Briggs.

* After narrowly averting a trip to The Testing Room, Mike Vick opens a new restaurant in Atlanta called The Tasting Room. Coincidence? Ask Steve Wyche, he was there for the AJC.

* Kind of a cool award for Brett Favre.

* Mark Maske gets Gene Upshaw from Hawaii saying that changes are afoot for misstepping players. And teams with posses of bad guys may get fined as well. That's a wise move. Seriously.

* The Patriots are getting a good dude.

* With Nick "Pin Cushion" Harper in, could the Titans be ushering Mortal Kombat Jones out? Jim Wyatt is on it.

* In a notebook that has Donte Stallworth thanking Deion Branch for recommending the Patriots, scroll down to find Mike Vrabel sounding slightly jilted by the dough the Pats are whipping at free agents. Mike Reiss was all over it.

Which NCAA basketball contender might be set back due to a recent injury to their star point guard?

Which 8-9 match up just got even better considering one teams star is definitely out for the first round game?

Read it here.

March is always a fun month in my home state of Arizona, where I happen to be right now. Every day you can go work on your tan while watching spring training games. The temps are in the 80s and for the desert, that's just perfect. It's like being on the East Coast or Midwest in September. You know there's still one more month after this of fantastic weather, and then it's just a long, cold winter/insufferably hot summer.

Coming from anywhere else, you are struck simply by how brilliant the sun is shining...by the copiousness of outdoor cantinas....by the pillowed-out women. By the bizarre sights, such as seeing Jeff Samardzija take the mound for the Chicago Cubs the other day and face Barry Bonds (Shark gave up a single).

It's all a little surreal--and that's not always a good thing.

Because in the past week, three of the sports stories emanating from the desert have had to do with arrests:

1) Last weekend, new Arizona Cardinal wide receivers coach Richie Anderson was arrested for soliciting a prostitute (actually an undercover cop) at the Pointe South Mountain Resort in Phoenix. Anderson, 35, who is married and has children, now has an awful lot of "''splainin' to do." Not to mention that he just threw away, especially for someone his age, a dream job: Great place to live, and you get to work with Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald every day at practice.
For the record, I've solicited a margarita or two at that same resort, but that's the extent of it.

2) NFL tight end Jerramy Stevens was arrested two nights ago on DUI and marijuana possession charges after leaving the Salty Senorita bar in Scottsdale. The arresting officer, who pulled Stevans' 2007 Chrysler 300 sedan over on Indian School Road, reported that Stevans' eyes were "bloodshot, watery and half-closed."
Stevens admitted to having "four or five margaritas" but there is no word on whether they were frozen or on the rocks, salted or unsalted (though, considering the name of the bar, I'll go with salted). Further, the report states that "As (Stevans) exited the truck he dropped his cellphone and wallet on the ground." I only add that because if that's an incriminating act, I should be arrested daily.
If you're having trouble putting a face with the name (and don't feel like staring at the mugshot), Stevans is the former Seahawk who once took a knee to the groin from Oakland Raider Tyler Brayton...he's also the guy who once broke a man's jaw with a baseball bat...and was accused of drugging and raping a fellow student while at the University of Washington, though the charges were dropped. He's easily Seattle's most notorious Jerramy since the one who spoke in class today-ay.

3) University of Arizona reserve basketball player Daniel Dillon was arrested in Tucson on suspicion of drunken driving last weekend. I doubt this will alter Purdue's pre-game scout on the Wildcats all that much, but it's bad timing for the Aussie native. Not just because the Cats are in the NCAAs (and he'll likely be suspended for at least a game by Lute Olson), but because he turns 21 next Monday.

In short, Arizona right now is an athete's oasis that's just begging for trouble. Consider the big-name jocks who are in the Valley of the Sun (a.k.a. Phoenix) just now: Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Samardzija, Brady Quinn (working out in Tempe), Matt Leinart, Mike Tyson, Charles Barkley (when he's not working), Danica Patrick and even Muhammad Ali.

There's plenty more and yet, there are only so many watering holes in Scottsdale. You ever see those Animal Planet docs where the killer whale waits in shallow water for the seals to take to the surf? The seals need to leap into the water to hunt for food, and the Orca dudes know that, so they just patiently wait for the inevitable.
Well, that's prettty much the way the Scottsdale Polic Dept. (and how can you blame them?) handles the nightclub scene along Scottsdale Road. If I were an ambitious Scottsdale police officer I'd just pull over every other car that exited the parking lot of cantinas such as Sugar Daddy's or Martini Ranch after 10 p.m.
Easy pickings.
If I were a really ambitious law enforcement person here, I'd dress in drag and loiter around the bar at the Pointe Resort. I'm just not that ambitious--and far too swarthy to pull off the look anyway.

Still, all of this miscreantism in sports (and it's been going on for a century now, so let's not act all shocked) makes me think that there's a television crime drama waiting to happen: CSI.SI.COM , starring L. Jon Wertheim and Luis Fernando Llosa.
Those two, by the way, are doing a terrific job reporting the story that surprises no one, the Orlando pharmacy raids. It's inspiring the newest catchphrase that I can only hope will sweep the nation: "Dude, I'm going to be all over you like Llosa on Sosa."

Florida?

Kansas?

UCLA?

A Cinderella?

Ohh... Yes, March Maddness is in the air.
Your co-workers are focusing extra hard at their desks today thinking:

"Can Winthrop beat Notre Dame?"
"Marquette. No Michigan. No Marquette."
"Greg Oden, he's the one to win it."
"Am I crazy? Creighton? Going to the Elite 8? What am I doing?"
"Kevin Durant, he's the one to win it."
"Florida. Done and done. Why even fill this thing out?"
"What about Pitt? Now there's someone...."

Sure enough if you work in a place that has at least three males and one 'sporty' female, office pools are well underway. If you have no idea what you are doing, well then of course there are those experts who are more then willing to predict winners, losers and surprises at this years Dance.

And still... even with everyone throwing out the predictions...it took me forever to fill out my bracket. You too?
Back and forth, back and forth. Do I take Texas to the Final 4? They did let Kansas sneak back and go into OT and then win. Can Florida seriously do what no team has done since 1991-1992 and repeat? All five starters are back...but it just kills me to put them in the Final 2. Kiiiiiiillllllsssssss meeeeeeee. And lets be honest, I haven't exactly been following the seasons of say Winthrop, Oral Roberts or L.B. State.

However, there's nothing I can do about it now. I debated the teams. Read the websites, the papers, and listened to the analysts. I've run out of ink and turned that sucker in.
Done and done.
No mas.
Over it.

My Elite 8 and Final 4:
WEST:
Between Kansas and Pitt: I know Kansas is a heavy heavy favorite but my pen insisted I put down Pitt as the team from the West to head to Atlanta. If I'm wrong, I blame the Loews Miami Beach Hotel pen.
EAST:
Between Texas and Georgetown: Hmmm. I like Durant. I like Texas. I like everything really. Yet I don't know if they will pull through in the end. Brett, our intern, said Durant got tired on Sunday while playing Kansas. Well, that's nice but you can't get tired in the Championship. I'm going with Georgetown.
SOUTH:
Between Ohio State and Creighton: Yes, that is correct Creighton. You didn't read it wrong. Your glasses still work. I picked them to beat Memphis and Texas A&M. Before you go calling me an idiot, allow me to ask: what is the fun in doing any of this if you don't veer off the path sometimes. Ok? Hi, George Mason. That being said, Ohio State goes on to Atlanta after advancing through what some consider the weakest/easiest/free-ticket region.
MIDWEST:
Between Florida and Oregon: After Oregon beats Winthrop (who surprises you and beats Notre Dame) and then beats UNLV (who out of nowhere beats Wisconsin) Oregon meets last years champs the Gators. Florida wins. I seriously thought my computer would burst into flames after writing that.

Final 4:
Georgetown and Ohio State.
Florida and Pitt.

G-Town beats Ohio State. Don't ask me how. That isn't how the whole bracket thing works. There is no 'How' category. No extra points for discussing a necessary defense. Just if you got the team right. Go G-Town.

Pitt beats Florida. Upset? Yes. However, no apologies for not sending the Gators to the final game. (Lock it up Drew) I also admit I can only defend my choice due to my bitter feelings to a school I feel is due to run out of championship glory and luck at some point. (And yes, I admit my team isn't even in contention. Nor have we ever dominated college basketball. Nor did we enjoy a solid football season either. Thanks for the reminder). Go Pitt.

Here's to you and me winning those office pools (or at least having a good time watching the games).

Another day, another foot stomp from Lance Briggs.

This blog can't say it sympathizes with Briggs. He's a member of the player's association that approved the CBA last year, a CBA that still includes the franchise tag under which Briggs is currently bound to play. And as a member, he'll get all the other benefits of the deal -- pension the whole nine. You can't pick and choose which parts of the CBA you're going to adhere to when you're a member of the union.

This blog can understand Briggs' primitive point of view, though. If you ignore the niggling detail that the Bears are well within their rights to franchise him, the $7.2 million tag for linebackers is arrived at based upon the top five salaries at the position LAST year. Since the cap went from $92 million to $109 million in the past 12 months with the passing of the new CBA, Briggs' franchise tender is really based on salaries negotiated under the old CBA.

Perhaps there should have been a percentage adjustment to the franchise tags. For instance, the cap went up from $92 to $109 (ignore the $102 cap from last year because the CBA passed in late March well after free agency began). That's a 16.6 percent increase. Maybe the franchise tags for each position should have also increased 16.6 percent. For linebackers, that would have meant a franchise number in 2007 of about $8.7 million. That probably wouldn't placate Briggs at this point but it at least brings the "new NFL numbers" into play when teams dole out the franchise tag.

TUESDAY WHIPAROUND

* Contrast Briggs' wildcat strike with the current situation of former LB Mark Fields.

* Packers GM Ted Thompson is doing his job, trying to make Green Bay better by capturing an elite receiver like Randy Moss. Packers Chairman of the Board Bob Harlan is worried about the children. Hey, the kids are singing about lovely lady lumps and humming "smack dat" while you ask them to pass the peas. Wisconsin will survive Moss. Bob McGinn has the two sides meeting today to hash it all out.

* Clare Farnsworth has the skinny on safety Deon Grant's migration to Seattle.

* Richie Anderson learns that if you don't steer clear of the streetwalkers or you'll be out on the street.

* Paul Pinkham does a nice job detailing the assorted legal dustups of assorted Jaguars in the past year.

* Terence Moore says Joe Horn's "tongue always makes his world more tutti-frutti than vanilla." Which is something the Falcons should have uncovered in the physical before they signed him, one would think. Anyway, Moore says Horn could help.

REM. For six or seven years stretching from "Fall On Me" to "Nightswimming", this was my favorite band on the planet.

Do you have a favorite band that was relatively underground? Then they released a hit song and everyone discovered them, and you were frustrated because you didn't think that song even belonged in their top ten...or twenty?

That's how I feel about R.E.M. and "The One I Love". Or "Losing My Religion". For a period in the mid-Eighties Michael Stipe, Mike Mills, Peter Buck and Bill Berry were college radio. Songs such as "South Central Rain", "Sitting Still", "Pilgrimage", "Green Grow the Rushes" and, most especially, "Fall On Me", were just transcendent.

I remember--or better yet, R.E.M.ember-- my sister lending me a copy of Murmur when I was in high school. She told me how this band from Georgia was the next big thing. This was at a time when people were either rocking out to Van Halen and Asia and Motley Crue or listening to John Hughes soundtrack tunes, Psychedelic Furs and Echo and the Bunnymen, etc. And I'm listening to Murmur trying to find the hit single, the traditional tune with the hook.

But I hadn't learned how to listen to an R.E.M. album yet. It wasn't until I got to college and it wasn't until Life's Rich Pageant that I understood. You just immersed yourself into an R.E.M. album. You didn't worry that most of the lyrics were indistinguishable. You just felt yourself being taken away somewhere. That's what music that means something to you does.

I became an R.E.M.aholic. When I went to Athens for work, I went immediately to the 40 Watt Club and then to Doe's Eat Place (he's the dude who says, "Automatic" when you order your food). R.E.M. helped me get accepted by my friends at Sports Illustrated. We used to work very late on Sunday nights--sometimes you wouldn't go home at all--and a popular pastime was to watch MTV's late, great show "120 Minutes". Back then, in the early '90s, R.E.M. was the vanguard of alternative music. One night a bunch of us were sitting around watching it, and I was still fairly new there. People assumed I was a tool (they were right). An R.E.M. song came on and people went around the room saying which R.E.M. tune was their favorite.

At the time, the unabashed champion of all things R.E.M.-related at SI was Tim Crothers, who affected something of a Stipe-ian look himself. I think that he probably expected me to say "The One I Love" or worse, "It's The End of The World As We Know It", but I said, "Fall On Me."

We've been good friends ever since.

The album New Adventures in Hi-Fi came out on September 10, 1996. My 30th birthday. That's not even a bad album, but relative to the efforts R.E.M. had preceded it with, it was a disappointment. Turning 30 didn't make me feel old. But failing to be moved by an R.E.M. album did. I guess you could say I had jumped off the "Bandwagon".

Ten R.E.M. Songs Worth Loving

1. Fall On Me
2. Green Grow The Rushes
3. Voice of Harold
4. Crazy
5. Pilgrimage
6. Camera
7. Near Wild Heaven
8. Half A World Away
9. Find The River
10. Superman

That's it for tonight. Rock on, everybody.

in a fight between the Furious Five and the Fantastic Four? I'm going with the Five. How about between the Furious Five and Five For Fighting? Melle Mel would beat 'em all up by hisself.

I wont' be a poser. Won't be one of those white dudes who pretends as if I know what I'm talking about when it comes to hip-hop. Between Curtis Blow and the first five minutes of "Do The Right Thing", most of the 80s in hip hop was a mystery to me.

Then again, "White Lines" was a seriously great tune. "Get higher baby....get higher baby.....GET HIGHER BABY...and ain't never come down!"

Okay, maybe I am gonna be one of those white dudes.

Anyway, congrats Grandmaster!

Velvet Revolver are doing their best to get us over the fact that VH cannot perform this evening because they all either are in rehab or busy hating one another. Too bad.

Weiland's vocals are just underscoring what a unique and wonderfully animated voice David Lee Roth had. Remember how Diamond Dave used to insert that little signature high-pitched yelp into so many early Van Halen tunes? It was just his way of showing off, but it was always fun to hear.

Wondering whether some of the guests at the Waldorf are phoning down to the front desk and complaining that their room is vibrating at the moment.

So you have a lead singer (Weiland) who's been in rehab more times than everyone currently in "US Weekly" performing with his band in lieu of the inductees because their architect (Eddie Van Halen) is in rehab right now.

Now the affable Paul Shaffer is joining Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony for "Why Can't This Be Love?" Why can't this be love? I'll tell you why. Because the room has yet to be built that can house both Eddie's and Dave's egos.

Chuck Klosterman once postulated that VH's "And The Cradle Will Rock" is the most mediocre song in the history of rock and roll, and thus every other song can be measured in relation to it. And I'll say that "Why Can't This Be Love?" falls below that mark. Let's hope they end with "Dreams", the high point of the Van Hagar daze, before leaving stage.

Okay, raise your hand if you ever sketched the Van Halen logo onto the back or front of a spiral notebook in school.

Van Halen just puts a smile on your face. You can't take them too seriously, but you couldn't have gotten through high school in the early '80s if you didn't own either of their first two albums. "Running With the Devil" is the archetypal song to blast on the radio as you're driving on a Friday night with your friends, looking for the address of that party (or, if you were in Phoenix, boondocker) you'd heard about.

I saw VH play in the spring of 1984, when David Lee Roth was still spandexing all over the stage. All you can say is "Total Entertainment". A year later I saw REM at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix and Michael Stipe spent most of the show with his back to us. I wonder if REM and Van Halen are mingling much in the green room this evening.

As one of the inducters from Velvet Revolver just said, "Bottom line, they were the ultimate party band. They'd steal your girlfriend...and your tequila."

Van Halen with David Lee Roth: the real VH-1.

Sharpton is eulogizing James Brown right now. He makes a great point, that "some artists are transitional artists and others are transformational artists."

I'm feeling you, Al. The Godfather of Soul was like no one else. Al's using Brown's induction to relate to Grandmaster Flash's induction this evening, as sort of the hip-hop pioneer breaking the barrier. Al said something like, "If it rocks, it rocks, and if it rolls, it rolls."

Well, you cannot argue with that. Really.

There's an irony to, as one story I read today called the "vaguely racist" antipathy toward allowing hip-hop acts into the R&R HoF, and that of course is this: rock springs from the tunes of black bluesmen. Those are the rhythms and beats that Elvis and the Stones and most especially Led Zep cribbed as their own. If you ever visit the Hall in Cleveland, there's a great exhibit where they illustrate how "influential" guitarists such as Robert Johnson were on Sixties acts. I cannot remember the specific song, but they play an old blues tune and then splice it right into an early Sixties Stones hit. I guess the point is it could have been one of many songs.

So it's funny, this idea of hip-hop being a non-traditional rock act. Maybe, like blues and rock, it's just a matter of black musicians setting yet another trend.

...along with Goose Gossage and Harry Carson. It's about time.

So, in case you were wondering who IS in the R&R Hall of Fame along the banks of Lake Erie, here's the list:

http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/refpages/RefMedia.aspx?refid=461551014

USA Today did a chart today of whose eligibility is coming up in the next few years, who is likely to be enshrined and who is not. On their "Strong Shots" for 2008 they have Madonna, Beastie Boys, Sting and Metallica. Under "Long Shots" they have Tears for Fears and Ice-T, among others. Yeah, I like Tears for Fears, but I'm not sure "Head Over Heels" and "Shout" is enough to hang your hat on. If they let Tears for Fears in, they're going to get a lot of angry letters from OMD and Spandau Ballet and even Culture Club. Slippery, slippery slope.

Zach de la Rocha is inducting P.J. Harvey into the Hall.

By the way, as an aside, I work for NBC, which is part of GE, which was recently named by Fortune, I believe, as the most admired company in the world, or something like that. So I'm thinking, Geez, I am the machine.

But I still rock, Zach. Oh yes I do.

The choices for who will induct artists into the HoF is always inspired. It's one of my favorite things about this night. My favorite induction speech was when Springsteen inducted U2 in a couple years back. It's very funny. Hugh Laurie-level funny. Here's a link:

http://www.u2station.com/news/archives/2005/03/transcript_bruc.php

Oh, wait. It's not P.J. Harvey. It's Patti Smith. My bad.

Patti Smith is one of those artists all of us respect and yet none of us own her records. But try walking into a college radio station and saying, "I prefer Natalie Imbruglia" and see what kind of reaction you'll get.

I hope Patti Smith sends a shout-out to the ghost of Gilda Radner. For the character Candi Slice. If you never saw it, it's basically a Patti Smith takeoff. Good stuff.

--Was Jimi Hendrix corking his guitar?

--Bruce's "Dancing in the Dark" period...was he on the juice?

--Is the juice the only thing that Keith Richards wasn't on?

I love this whole Rock and Roll HoF ideal, even if the concept of an august institution is completely contrarian to what rock is all about.

Just throwing this out there: Does everyone who gets inducted into the HoF deserve to be on the same floor? You know, the way some content on-line is free (like this!) and others is only available to premium subscribers?

REM and Van Halen, for example, definitely made a difference in my life growing up. But shouldn't there be a more exclusive room for the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Bob Marley, The Who, The Beach Boys, The Sex Pistols, Bruce, Led Zeppelin, Robert Johnson, U2 and Prince?

I mean, do the Bee Gees belong in the same building--literally--with those guys?

Right now they're playing an absolutely awesome montage of past R&R HoF moments. They could just keep playing this for the next two hours (and they just might) and I wouldn't mind one bit. It's giving me chills. Reminding me of that classic final scene in "Almost Famous" in which William Miller (Patrick Fugit) sits on his bed and asks "golden god" Russell Hammond (Billy Crudup), "What do you love about music?"

And Russell answers, "First of all, everything."

Cameron Crowe has written a book's worth of great movie lines, but that's my favorite. Hail! Hail! Rock and roll!

Well, there's (another) pun that's forced, but I'm listening Spanish Harlem's own Ronettes belt out some classic early 60s tunes from within the Waldorf-Astoria. Ronnie gave a fairly incomprehensible acceptance speech--it was so unintelligible that I kept waiting for Clint Eastwood to leap onstage and provide a translation--but now that she has a band backing her, she is making perfect sense.

Ronnie and the Supremes--um, Ronettes-- are doing "Walking in the Rain" right this minute and just nailing it. What a great tune. Ronnie Spector, you're a nut-job, and possibly a murderer, but you certainly knew your way around a mixing board.

Paul Shaffer is reprising his role as world's most available--and ubiquitous--band leader. Kids, let Paul Shaffer be a lesson to you. You can go very far in this world if you have the ability to get along with people and sublimate your ego (not that I ever have, but then, look where he is and look where I am: he's calling the shots at the Rock and Roll HoF inductions for years now, and I'm sitting on my couch blogging...there's your lesson. Then again, there is the trifling matter of the cosmic disparity in our musical talent).

Okay, the Ronettes are doing their signature tune, "Be My Baby", right now. Really, it's such a unique and fantastic sound, and so redolent of New York City nights. The Ronettes absolutely belong in the HoF.

Kudos to ESPN's Trey Wingo for asking women's selection committee chairman Judy Southard about the Pokey Chatman scandal. Southard, who is also an associate athletic director at LSU, acted somewhat offended that Wingo would broach the topic. But he had to. So, Trey, I take it all back.

Latest developments on the LSU situation, by the way: Chatman allegedly did have the relationship with the player (whose name I'm guessing will be out by this time next week) while she was at LSU.

So let's move on. I just flipped over to VH-1 Classic and there's Captain Jack Sparrow standing at the podium. He's using the podium, actually, to prop himself up and tells the audience with a devilish grin, "Remarkable advances have been made in medical science!"

Yes, it's Keith Richards. And he's introducing Ronnie Spector and the Ronettes.

By the way, if you get a chance, Maureen Callahan of the New York Post had an incredible and outrageous story about Ronnie and ex-hubby Phil in last Thursday's paper. This is a movie just waiting to be made. The anecdote about how Ron Spector wouldn't come to the dinner table unless he liked the way his hair looked is both bizarre and--for those who know me, they'll understand--strangely comprehensible to me.

Now Ronnie is boring us to death with a speech that is a wall of boredom. Just sing, Ronnie. Sing!

I found Callahan's story. You have to click this link if for no other reason to view the current photo of Ron Spector. Three words: Wall of Hair.

The men's tourney has reverted back to directional regions (East, South, West, Midwest), but the women stubbornly remain with regions named after cities. The Dayton region is the best of the four. Besides top seed Tennessee, the only school to participate in all 26 women's NCAA tourneys (and with the same coach, of course: Pat Summitt), there's defending national champion Maryland and underrated 3 seed Oklahoma.

Keep an eye on Middle Tennessee State, which has the longest win streak, men's or women's, in Division I: 26 games. I saw MTSU in the first round last year and loved their style of play. Their coach, Rick Insell, is like that judge in "A Few Good Men" who says, "I'm quite sure I've earned it."

Insell spent 28 seasons coaching the girls at Shelbyville High School in Tennessee, winning two USA Today national championships. Last year, Insell's first at his alma mater in Murfreesboro, he took the Blue Raiders to the tourney. This year he has guided them to 26 straight wins. You think maybe somebody should have hired him a decade or two ago?

Let's face it: If the Pokey Chatman saga were happening in men's hoops, or if LSU's coach was a male, ESPN would be handling this story totally differently.

This, in short, is what's wrong with ESPN's coverage of women's college hoops. The network just got an exclusive interview with Tiger interim coach Bob Starkey, and then returned to the studio for commentary by Trey Wingo, Stacy Dales and Kara Lawson, and nobody said anything of substance.

Questions that Wendi Nix, the on-site reporter, needed to ask Starkey:

1. Will Carla Berry, the assistant who allegedly blew the whistle on Chatman, be with the team during the tournament?
2. How could you, Starkey, not be aware that this was going on?
3. Looking back, would you agree that maybe Pokey was an inappropriate nickname?

Then in the studio Stacy Dales totally stuck up for Chatman. That may be a premature stand to be taking. If the allegations are true, Pokey seriously abused her role as a coach. Everyone has taken great pains to say that no relationship took place with a current player, but no one has said whether the relationship with a former player(s) began while they were still playing in Baton Rouge.

But whether or not Chatman is innocent, the fact is that lesbianism is a fact of life in women's college basketball. And there's nothing inherently wrong with that--in fact, HBO actively promotes it on their On-Demand channels between the hours of 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. (from what I hear). But the secrecy about it and the shroud of disingenuousness that covers certain programs compromises the sport's integrity. As this recent episode shows.

Imagine a male coach at any top 25 school having a "relationship" with a player (you need not visually do so). Would he ever work again in a major college basketball program?

Big news out of the Greensboro region--and a relief to baggage handlers nationwide--is that Michigan State will be staying home in East Lansing for the first two rounds. Why big news?

Because last week John Douglas McCallie, the husband of Spartan coach Joanne McCallie, was arrested at Sarasota-Bradenton International Airport for going Gaylord Fokker on some security people. Turnst out McCallie, an econ prof at MSU, was unable to locate his baggage slips when some of the couple's luggage went missing. McCallie turned over a garbage can and then began swinging it at a security guard.

Rumor has it that Joanne McCallie has asked King Leonidas of "300" fame to speak at the Spartans' pre-game meal: "Spartans! Enjoy your breakfast, for tonight we dine in Hell!

Monday night. Two events to blog about:

1. ESPN women's tournament selection show (ESPN, now)
2. Rock and Roll (hoochie koo) Hall of Fame Induction (VH-1 Classic, 8:30)

Here's Mike earlier:

"You're always talking about how much you love women's college basketball, and I was watching TV earlier today and was inclined to agree with you. There were some highlights of this chick racing down the court and dunking. Not once, a lot. And they were monster jams. Then I realized it was Joakim Noah."

Texas vs Kansas.

Kevin Durant... He's ridiculously good.

Final seconds of the game... Kansas makes a three. Sends the game to OT.

Texas blows the lead and the game. Check out these photos.

Monday. March 12, 2007.

Most likely, today was better then your typical Monday. Why? Because this particular Monday marks the beginning of the crazy, exciting, and unexpected college hoops extravaganza: The Dance Is On. And that means the workplace is going to be a little extra fun for the next few weeks. (And you, slacker, will be doing your bracket instead of your work)

Selection Sunday came out with some surprises and some huge let downs. FSU aint in it. A huge disapointment for a second year in a row. I know its my school and I'm partial BUT there are a lot of people out there that agree. The Noles will just keep on pushing until they are invited. Someday.

However the Selection Committee managed to crush a few other hearts.
No Drexel.
No Syracuse.
Does Arkansas deserve to be there?
People always want to root for the little guy, the cinderella story, the one team who plays with a big heart over the huge odds and hype. And so the arguments over who should be in and who should be out, who got snubbed and who got a gift, will be all you hear for the next few days. Which is why so many people love March.

John Walters and I taped bracket breakdown shows this morning and they should be coming out today and tomorrow. Be sure to watch!
Also, I spoke with David Mihm a bracket genius... here's his site. When it comes to predicting the bracket, the guy is incredible at getting it right. Just don't get busted on it at work.

"Seed"-- noun 1.) ranking relative to other teams in your region in the NCAA tourney; 2.)
family nickname ("When will you sprout?" "Johnny Appleseed")

SEED'S 64 NOTES ON 64 SEEDS

1. CBS just showed a map of the "13 cities" that will host the NCAA tournament. That's the eight first round sites, the four regional final sites, and the final site: Atlanta. Who did they forget? Dayton, host of the play-in game. Exactly. Next year, please, let's eliminate this game (this from someone who's attended two of them [part of a work-probation deal])

2. New Mexico State is the only team in the tournament whose coach also won a state title on a Saturday morning TV show. Reggie Theus--you loved him as Coach Bill Fuller at Deering High in "Hang Time"--has the Aggies in the tourney as WAC champs.

3. At best just three of the nation's top ten scorers will be dancing this weekend: No. 2 Trey Johnson (27.1) of Jackson State (photo at right), No. 5 Kevin Durant (perhaps you've heard of him, 25.1 ppg) of Texas, and No. 9 Stephen Curry of Davidson (21.1). Teamwork works.

4. At least five of the nation's assist leaders will be in the tourney: Davidson's Jason Richards, Arizona's Mustafa Shakur, Texas' D.J. Augustin, Ohio State's Mike Conley and VCU's Eric Maynor.

5. My buddy Seth "Hey Now!" Davis at CBS makes an excellent point about the declining number of at-large mid-majors being invited to the tourney over the past four years. In 2004 it was twelve and here in 2007 it's six. Seth's right. The power conferences have just too much of that: power.

6. Billy Packer: "I think Winthrop is this year's George Mason." Good luck, Notre Dame. The first round's most intriguing matchup.

7. By the way: Notre Dame (24-7) loses to Georgetown by 2 in the Big East semi and gets a No. 6 seed. Pitt loses to Georgetown in the Big East final by 23 and gets a No. 3 seed.

8. Odds of Texas A&M meeting Texas A&M-Corpus Christi on Monday night, April 2: somewhat less than Pokey Chatman announcing her engagement to Tim Hardaway.

9. Central Connecticut head coach Howie Dickenmann is godfather to U Conn women's head coach Geno Auriemma's son, Michael, who happens to be a 6'2" high school senior and one of the best players in the Nutmeg State.

10. Ohio State point guard Mike Conley, Jr.'s dad (whose name you can guess) was the 1992 Olympic gold medalist in the triple jump.

11. Gary Walters, who heads the NCAA selection committee, is not related to me. Though I will insist that he is as long as I continue to not have tickets to the Final Four.

12. Last spring Syracuse head coach Jim Boeheim proposed that the tourney should expand to 128 teams. No wonder. The Orangemen were one of the last schools, presumably, not to garner an invite.

13. My buddy Mike, a former college and NBA assistant coach, on conference tournaments:

I am glad my old employers North Texas just qualified for the tourney, but they played in front of 500 people against Arkansas St. in the Cajun Dome. Obviously this didn't make any money. Wouldn't it be a hell of a lot more fair AND entertaining if conference play decided automatic berth and ESPN traveled to some mid-major school late in the season and televised the games that would decide the conference instead of some b.s. game against two teams that got hot for one weekend and are playing in front of 45 people at a neutral site???

Yes, I know that the ACC, Big 12 and Big East tourneys will make a huge amount of money. So what? It is boring, overkill and lessens all of the regular season, which should be the most important.

14. The two schools that played in the BCS national title game, Florida and Ohio State, are both No. 1 seeds.

15. Kansas State head coach Bob Huggins on Saturday night, speaking to an ESPN reporter: "I think the only guy at your network who understands this is Digger. Digger gets it."

Digger (Phelps) had the Wildcats making the tourney. K-State's going to the NIT.

16. Duke's No. 6 seed is its lowest placement since 1996, back when Coach K was suffering that aching back.

17. Best possible Sweet 16 matchup: Texas (No. 4) vs. North Carolina.

18. Worst best possible Sweet 16 matchup: Virginia (No. 4) vs. Ohio State.

19. Worst trend of the weekend: Teams advancing to their conference tournament final (Arkansas, Pitt) and getting generous seeds because of it.

20. Jinxed Player: Washington three-point specialist Ryan Appleby transferred from Florida two years ago. The Gators are defending national champs and a No. 1 seed. Appleby and his Huskies (19-12) are NIT-bound.

21. ESPN's Doug Gottlieb just made an excellent point: Air Force beat Stanford at Stanford by 34 POINTS! And had five more wins. Stanford's in, Air Force is out. Then again, you can find arguments against and for most any team not in the top half of the field. As fans, don't we deserve some variety in the tourney, though? Stanford is the sixth-best team in a ten-team conference, while Air Force is a refreshing change of pace that rarely receives any national attention. Wouldn't you rather see the overachievers play on Thursday and Friday?

22. CBS should advice its announcers to strike the phrases--spoken with incredulity-- "for a freshman" and "only a freshman" from their lexicon for the next three weeks. The sport's best players are freshmen. Times have changed.

23. By my preliminary count, there are four Tennessee schools in the tourney. Can you name them? (No. 27)

24. Connecticut and head coach Jim Calhoun are not going to the tourney. Three of Calhoun's former assistants: Dave Leitao (Virginia), Dickenmann (Central Conn.) and Glen Miller (Pennsylvania-Not-6500) are.

25.Player whose name, upon being heard, leads you to subliminally start mouthing words to an '80's pop hit: Kansas center Sasha Kaun ("Sasha Kaun").

26. Number of teams from New Jersey, where casino gambling is legal, in the tourney: zero. Number of teams from Nevada, where casino gambling is also legal, in the tourney: two (UNLV, Nevada).

27. Belmont, Memphis, Vanderbilt, Tennessee.

28. If I were coaching (and this is one of many reasons I never will): Last five guys on my bench open the second half until either team scores a bucket.

29. Memphis, by the way, has the nation's longest win streak (22 games) and a coach, John Calipari, who's been to the national championship game.

30. Two schools in the tourney have 30 wins: Ohio State and Kansas.

31. Shortest player? Could it be Oregon freshman guard Tajuan Porter, who stands 5-6?

32. Cute-name opening-round pairings that you just know the guys on the tournament selection committee get their jollies from: Kentucky-Villanova (Wildcats vs. Wildcats). Louisville vs. Stanford: Cardinals vs. Cardinal.

33. Sharp shooters who can bury the three: Michigan State's Drew Nietzel, Notre Dame's Colin Falls, Gonzaga's Derek Raivio, A.J. Abrams of Texas, Tennessee's Chris Lofton, Central Connecticut's Tristan Blackwood, and finally, Texas A&M's Josh Carter (though he has fewer threes) is the only player in the tourney who gets real minutes that is shootinb better than 50% from beyond the arc.

34. Born in Arizona/Moved to Babylonia: Oral Roberts guard Ken Tutt, who averages better than 16 ppg.

35. Suddenly I have an uncommonly fierce desire to purchase a convertible.

36. Jay Bilas and Doug Gottlieb bring less bluster but more knowledge of the teams to their bracketologizing than Dickie V. The PTPer is an evangelist; they're attorneys (Bilas, as you know, actually is one).

37. "I Left My Heart in Sacramento"... Washington State, coached by Tony Bennett, opens the tourney against Oral Roberts in California's state capitol. Bennett is racking up the Coach of the Year awards and deservedly so.

38. Let's see, Southern Illinois is a No. 4 seed. Where will Saluki coach Chris Lowery be working a year from now.

39. I miss Kevin Pittsnoggle. I'm just saying. Who's this year's Pittsnoggle? Maybe Nevada's Nick Fazekas, right.

40. I love Gonzaga over Indiana in the 7-10 matchup in Sacramento (the Zags' are the 10).

41. Top free-throw shooting team in the dance, as well as the nation? Villanova, 78.1%.

42. What team led in more national categories than any other? Virginia Military Institute, which led the nation in scoring offense, 3-pointers per game, assists per game and steals per game. They also had the nation's leading scorer in Reggie Williams. So why won't you see them later this week? VMI finished 14-19.

43. Reggie Theus, that NMSU coach, may also have the best player credentials of any player in the tourney. Theus ended his 14-season NBA career with more than 19,000 points and 6,000 assists.

44. Gonzaga's Derek Raivio led the nation in free-throw shooting at better than 96%.

45. UCLA coach Ben Howland is embarking on a nostalgia tour later this week. The Bruins open with Weber State, Howland's alma mater. And then the Westwood wonders have a potential Sweet 16 matchup with Howland's previous employer, Pittsburgh (though the Panthers won't get that far).

46. Four-letter acronym you should know that isn't "UCLA": AMDG. That's Latin and it's the acronym for "Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam", which translates to "To The Greater Glory of God". That's also the motto of the Society of Jesus, a.k.a. the Jesuits. And why should we care? Because no fewer than seven Jesuit schools--Boston College, Creighton, Georgetown, Gonzaga, Holy Cross, Marquette and Xavier-- are headed to the dance.

47. College basketball is definitely a coach's sport. How many players can the average fan name off Memphis' team, for example? And they're a No. 2 seed. But you know who their coach is (Calipari). Same with 6 seed Louisville (Rick Pitino) and No. 10 seed Texas Tech (Bob Knight).

48. Jay Bilas: "I think we're all hot after that model analogy."

49. My pet team, Utah State (23-11), finished 6-4 against teams that made the tourney, and beat just-down-the-road neighbor Weber State twice, beat No. 7 seed Nevada twice in the past ten days, and lost the WAC championship game by a bucket (despite playing on NMSU's home floor). They also have one of the best shooters in the nation in Jaycee Carroll. The Aggies are NIT-bound.

50. If Notre Dame freshman point guard Tory Jackson plays the way he did the last five minutes against Georgetown ("he's all growed up!" I thought), the Irish could find themselves in a Sweet 16 matchup against Wisconsin.

51. Joakim Noah scouting report: He's most dangerous beyond the baseline. Just ask the Kentucky cheerleaders or the Vanderbilt coaching staff.

52. USC-bound O.J. Mayo was already destined to become no less than the second-most famous O.J. ever to play for the Trojans. Now it seems he's also the second most infamous. O.J. was busted for misdemeanor marijuana possession this weekend. Not that anyone is saying, "Hold the Mayo!" on this one-and-done blue-chipper.

53. Three of the eight teams in one half of the Midwest bracket are from the Hoosier State: Butler, Notre Dame and Purdue.

54. Dickie V. just vented his spleen against Gary Walters (Pop!), chairman of the tournament selection committee and athletic director at Princeton. Dickie V. was standing up for the little guy, and Walters began his response by telling him he'd spare him a lesson in "Jeffersonian or Jacksonian democracy". Princeton guys.

55. I understand why Jim Boeheim, or any other bubble-team coach, is upset that they're not in the tournament. But let's be realistic: If you're a bubble team you're not even in the conversation as to who are the best schools in the country. Yes, you just want an opportunity. That's all anyone wants. But if someone can make an argument, at least a plausible one, that you're not one of the 34-best at-large teams, well then, if you're from a major conference, you may just want to give it a break. At least coaches like Drexel's Bruiser Flint have a valid beef.

56. I'm already yawning about ... Purdue, Illinois, Stanford, Texas Tech and Arkansas.

57. Team I didn't know existed a week ago: Texas A&M-Corpus Christi.

58. "The reality is, we should have won more games. And if we'd won more games, we wouldn't have had to worry about any of this" -- Bob Huggins, Kansas State. Amen, Huggy Bear. That quote should be on top of the NCAA tournament letterhead every year.

59. Bilas making a good point about the primary criterion, at least for the at-large teams, being are they one of the 34 best teams in the country. Great point, Jay. Here's another one: Where is it written that there need to be 31 different conferences whose conference tourney winners automatically earns an invite to the tourney?

60. FAMU vs. Niagara live from Dayton on Tuesday night. Yeah, I don't think so. And if FAMU wins, I think we all know what the two-word headline will be on Wednesday morning ("Niagara Falls").

61. Doug Gottlieb has a rematch of the BCS national title game for his NCAA tourney final.

62. Best player you may not know much about because his name is so common: Georgetown's Jeff Green, the Big East Player of the Year.

63. My Final Four: Ohio State, Texas, UCLA and Florida.

64. My NCAA champs: Buckeyes. (Boycotting a 65th entry in protest of the play-in game. Nothing personal, Dayton.)

Selection Sunday, the one day of the year when college basketball resembles college football. People making arguments back in forth regarding teams, neither of which are indefensible. The difference being that most of the bickering concerns teams that will be watching on TV regardless a week from today.

Classic example: Should Old Dominion or Drexel, both from the Colonial Athletic Association, get invited. Neither school made the tournament final. ODU is 24-8 and Drexel 23-8. ODU won both games against Drexel, while Drexel supposedly has more quality road wins.

And, unless you attend ODU or Drexel, who cares? Yes, I know that George Mason (also a CAA school) advance to the Final Four last season, and high-five for that. But neither ODU or Drexel is even one of the twenty best teams in the nation.

5:20 p.m. on Sunday, and these are the schools we know are in thus far, the conference champs:

Albany
Belmont
Brigham Young
Central Connecticut
Creighton
Davidson
Eastern Kentucky
Florida
Georgetown
George Washington

Gonzaga
Holy Cross
Kansas
Long Beach
Memphis
Miami (Ohio)
New Mexico State
Niagara
North Carolina
North Texas

Ohio State
Oral Roberts
Oregon
Penn
TAMU-CC
UCLA
UNLV
Virginia Commonwealth
Weber State
Winthrop

Wright State

That's 31 teams. The other 35? Count on:

Arizona
Boston College
Butler
Duke
Georgia Tech
Indiana
Kentucky
Louisville
Marquette
Maryland

Nevada
Notre Dame
Pittsburgh
Southern Illinois
Syracuse
Tennessee
Texas
Texas A&M
USC
Vanderbilt

Villanova
Virginia
Virginia Tech
Washington State
Wisconsin
Xavier

That's 26. If you're good with your sums, that's 57 of the 65 potential teams. The goal here will be to provide 65 bits of tid (about one a minute) about the teams we know that won't be spending spring break in search of Joe Francis' video vixens.

There was no better indoctrination into college basketball than the one given by the Big East of the late 70s to about 1990.

I know the traditions in the SEC, ACC, Pac-10 and Big Ten are much longer but the cool thing about the Big East is it grew like a dandelion from a crack in the sidewalk, a "superconference" loaded with larger-than-life coaching personalities like John Thompson, Louie Carnesecca, Rollie Massimino and Jim Boeheim.

It wasn't there and then it was.

It was a TV-driven conference and, for a kid in Massachusetts who loved all things sports and basketball especially, it was riveting. There were fights in the Big East. Lots of them. And unbridled passion on the sidelines, in the stands and on the faces of the players. And the players. From Patrick Ewing, the unconscious Sleepy Floyd and the evil Michael Graham at Georgetown; Walter Berry and Chris Mullin at St. John's. Leo Rautins, Red Bruin, Rafael Addison and Pearl Washington at Syracuse and the bounce-passing BC Eagles with John Bagley and Jay Murphy under Dr. Tom Davis. It went on and on.

I didn't like Georgetown most years. Sometimes I did, but for most of the 80s, as mysterious and alluring as "Hoya Paranoia" was, there was a Raiders-like vibe to their teams. And after Sleepy Floyd left, there weren't any really compelling Georgetown guards, at least that I remembered. And I loved watching the Big East guards. Then came Charles Smith.

The goateed Smith played with a detached air about him. Reed-thin and a brilliant penetrator, scorer and passer, I loved watching him. One of the greatest passes I remember seeing delivered in a real game by anyone was thrown by Smith. Standing near the top of the key, he was dribbling idly with his right hand when a player came open under the hoop. As the ball yo-yo'd back to his hand, Smith cupped the ball and windmilled an underhand pass, pirouetting as he did. The ball traveled 20 feet in less a blink, resulting in a hoop that nobody except Smith and his cutter saw coming. And the cutter probably didn't see it coming either it just burrowed into his hands.

Smith played for the 1988 Olympic team. Then he caught on with the Celtics and played 60 games for them in 1990 and another five in 1991 when he was signed to a couple of short-term deals.

In the early morning of March 23, 1991, Smith struck and killed two Boston University students who were crossing Commonwealth Avenue. He left the scene but was caught about a mile away. Taken in without resistance, Smith blew a .06 on the breathalyzer - below the legal limit. He was charged and found guilty of vehicular homicide and sentenced to four years in prison. He served more than two years and was released.

The most recent story I could find on Smith was written in 1995 when he was with the Timberwolves, trying to cobble together a life in the NBA after taking two with his car and, in many ways, ruining his.

Here it is.. As I watch tonight's Big East Championship game between the Hoyas and Pitt, I'm thinking about Smith.

Boston lead singer Brad Delp was found dead Friday night.

And, believe it or not, UFC fans/JDub Haters, his unfortunate death--Delp was 55--applies to the Ultimate Snit Club we've joined this week.

A couple weeks back, long before most UFC fans even knew I existed, I blogged about the genius of Boston's self-titled 1976 debut album. And here's what steamed my tea. Rolling Stone magazine, in its 2005 special issue in which it ranked the "500 Greatest Albums of All-Time" (not 5, not 50, 500) could not find a way to fit that album into the issue.

And I thought that was just mighty petty of the editors of Rolling Stone. Okay, so maybe they're not into prog-rock, or perhaps they're just not huge fans of high-concept album covers featuring flaming electric guitar space ships, but how many albums have a better "Side One, Song One" (we're thinking album era here, not CD...not iTunes) than Boston's "More Than a Feeling" ?

Not 500. That much I feel pretty confident about. And I remember thinking when RS came out with its rankings two years ago, "Yo, fellas, 17 million consumers can't all be wrong." Then again, RS also trashed most every Led Zep recording upon release, too.

Anyway, my point is, who am I to tell anyone that the sport that they love is not worthy? Well, nobody, that's who.
After all, who is to say what is art?
Actually, I have an answer to that: Art is Gilmore.

But back to our feud...There's a Couture Club out there, and the answer to "Do they really wanna hurt me?" is, Hell, yeah.

In my defense (or, since we're on an MMA kick here, "In my self-defense"), I don't recall writing that UFC/MMA is not a sport. In fact, I said just the opposite. I didn't belittle the Ultimate Fighters. I may be a "sanctamonious prick", but I'm not that stupid (and, yes, Kyle, I will see you in The Octagon and justice shall be served).

Was I flippant? Sure. Overly so. Probably.
But I wouldn't apologize for that normally. I do apologize for being woefully--read my lips: woefully--under-informed about UFC.

A confession: A decade or so ago my good friend, Ragu, who fashions himself as something of a tough guy (and a huge UFC fan), was big into UFC. He begged me to watch a UFC match. I don't know how many UFC's ago this was. UFC 7? 8?

Anyway, I'm watching as one fighter (I don't feel like typing Utlimate Fighter each time...sorry, it's late, and I've got Boston on the stereo) has another in a pretty good hold from behind. Suddenly, the fighter who seemed to be at the disadvantage raised up his elbow and clocked--absolutely clocked--his opponent in the side of the head. The dude fell faster than my JetBlue stock.

I played six years of organized football. I like contact. But there was something about that moment that just turned me off to UFC. And even the UFC website, which I've spent much time perusing in the last 24 hours (Did you know that Ali Sonoma once dreamt of being a doctor? Mass. General's loss is our gain.), admits that the sport was much more, what's the word, barbaric, in the previous decade.

So, yes, I didn't do my homework. From not knowing that Javan Camon died in a WIFL (that's "World Indoor Football League", and it has four teams: the Augusta Spartans, Columbus Lions, Daytona Beach Thunder and, of course, the Osceola Ghostriders) game to not realizing how many of the maneuvers in the erstwhile "anything goes" world of UFC have since been banned.

Eye gouging? Don't be a stooge.
Groin attacks? Uh, save that for the NBA Western Conference playoffs.
Fish hooking? Maybe in BASS Masters, but not here.
Stomping on an opponent? Maybe in the NCAA regional final, but no, not in UFC.

(One friend's reaction to this news: "So what's the fun of watching?")

If you do your homework--obviously, I'm handing mine in late-- you can read on the UFC website that the modern progenitor of MMA dates back to eighty years ago (four score for you fans of oration), to a Brazilian form of MMA known as "Vale Tudo". That translates to "Anything Goes" (oddly, though, Cole Porter's "Anything Goes" does not translate to "Vale Tudo" when the show plays in Rio de Janiero opera houses). Anyway, "Anything Goes" is pretty self-explanatory.

But, as UFC fans know, their sport is no longer the "anything goes" human cockfight that vale tudo was. And it's even far more civilized than the UFC of the 1990s was.

So, I will apologize to UFC fans. To USC fans? No. KFC fans? I didn't let the rats in. But to UFC fans, definitely I apologize.

I apologize for not having done my homework before writing the previous two blogs. Don't get me wrong, though. I still think a fair share of you would gladly dole out the PPV bucks to watch a "vale tudo" if you could. And that I just don't quite understand. Not when you can watch the NBA and NHL for free.

But to all the rest of you...to the UFC fans who are passionate about their sport in much the same way that Lloyd Dobler once was about kickboxing (one of the many disciplines comprising MMA), I apologize. Because, to quote the late Brad Delp, "all I want is to have my peace of mind."

But, Kyle, you and me....Octagon. Let's make it happen.

If THIS is true... well then Tom Brady is one busy man.

FSU has a basketball team?

Ever since forever, the ACC has been one of the nation's best in the world of college basketball. And poor FSU has been the ugly step sister just trying to get noticed.

During my junior and senior years of college things began to change. FSU got a new head coach in Leonard Hamilton and a hunger was born to prove basketball at Florida State held a place in the athletics traditionally dominated by football and baseball. My junior year, we beat the number one ranked team in the nation, on our home court: DUKE. It was insane. Everyone rushed the court... it was the kind of win that came out of nowhere. And no matter how bad we were, there was something redeeming in knocking Duke off of its number one pedestal. The next year, we did it again.

And so this time around, the ACC tournament in full swing, FSU has a little more somethin' somethin' to prove. Last year the Noles believed they deserved a spot in the NCAA Tournament. But that was not to be and had to settle for the NIT. This year, things are looking different. FSU beat Clemson. They are on to the quarterfinals against North Carolina. A long shot, yes. But stranger things have happened. If anything, this is just one step closer to reminding everyone that yes, Florida State has a basketball team. And they actually just might surprise you.

"Good Lord, you are an idiot."

"Goodbye, dimwit."

"Nice haircut."

Seems that I touched a nerve (radial? ulnar?) when I blogged about mixed martial arts (the generic term for the Ultimate Fighting Championship series) the other day. Who knew you could upset this many readers on this site without even mentioning how outclassed Notre Dame was in the Sugar Bowl?

For my next blog, I'll be insulting everyone's mother.

Okay, let's go over this, UFC fans. I went back and re-read what I wrote in the "Penultimate Fighting Championship" blog. I'm not sure that I exactly bashed the sport as much as I discussed why it's become so popular. Why it is the MOST POPULAR sport among readers on our site.

I'll be the first to admit that MMA dudes are outstanding, disciplined athletes who are in both peak shape and possess technical skills. And I'll be the first to say that Spencer Fisher ,. the lowest ranked lightweight in our UFC power rankings, would end me in the time it takes you to read this sentence (and that's no knock on your literacy skills).

And, yes, lots of sports have brutality. Was it only a week or so ago that Arena Football League Javan Camon was killed during a game due to a vicious open-field hit? The player who hit him, Cedric Ware, suffered a concussion.

Nobody called for the abolition of football in the wake of that incident.

But I don't recall writing that the UFC should be abolished, or that it's even a fringe sport. My argument wasn't with the action, but with why you find it all so enthralling. C'mon, you have to admit, there's something very Beyond Thunderdome about the entire set-up, from the Octagon venue to the arena's electricity being entirely powered by pig feces. Okay, maybe just one out of the two.

First, UFC fans, you should know: I'm not some 400-pound shlub who's worn an ass-groove in his couch watching sports on TV and hasn't seen his John Thomas in a decade due to all the layers of fat (I haven't seen it all winter because it's been freezing here in New York, but that's a different matter altogether...). Anyway, the point is, I get to the gym or go for a run every day. I appreciate how disciplined these fighters are.

But it was a comment from a reader identifying himself as "Grape Knee High" (Why is it so difficult for commenters to use their actual names? Anonymity is like a sucker-punch on message board forums) that really made me think. Here's what GKH wrote:

And most everyone, no matter what they are willing to admit in a public forum, are mesmerized by two men fighting. That's why a fight in the street catches a crowd. And you may say that you're "above" this kind of lowest common denominator behavior, but you're not. Next time you cheer a big hit that just gave both football players concussions, realize you're not above the rabble. You're just the same as everyone else only you're *pretending* that you're better.

True, I would be mesemerized by watching a fight in the street. And if I see a big hit in a football game, it provides a momentary rush. However, that is not why I watch football and here's how I know this is true. Because, for a full day after January 1st's Fiesta Bowl, I was still smiling over how Boise State beat Oklahoma. The fourth quarter of that game was a complete adrenalin rush, and not because of the big hits (that's part of the game), but rather because of how the Broncos pulled off the victory: those two ballsy 4th-down calls, and that 2-point conversion to win it.

I was there, just a few feet away from Ian Johnson when he crossed the goal line (closer than most OU defenders, in fact) and the moment swept me off my feet. So here's the difference: I genuinely enjoy watching a great football game and while hits are certainly part of that equation, there's also tactics involved that had little do with inflicting pain on your opponent. Nobody got hurt on Boise State's 4th-and-18 hook-and-ladder TD, but it was still a thrill to witness.

In MMA (and boxing, sure) inflicting pain is the object of the game. I realize that I'm far from the first person to make this argument. And that doesn't mean boxing or MMA are not sports (they are to me) or that the fighters are not amazing athletes. They are.

My question to you, if MMA is your favorite sport, is simply what do you love most about it? I'm not asking out of any reason other than curiosity. I know why I love playing football or basketball, and that's a big reason I love watching those sports. And I've even boxed before, so I can appreciate how much concentration is required and how exhausting it is...and how excruciatingly long a 3-minute round can seem.

But I doubt that everyone who watches MMA trains in the martial arts. And if you don't, and if you're still a big fan of the sport, I just really want to know. Why?

Perhaps now is not the best time to confess that I really like No More Kings' "Sweep the Leg" video:

http://www.sweeptheleg.com/

Meanwhile, here is what someone else has written about MMA, or UFC, or whatever you'd like to call it. He wished to remain anonymous--so he's just like most people who comment--but here's his take:

Thus, these sports measure mastery of the discipline.
Ultimate fighting is more akin to a barroom brawl, measuring mastery of nothing
but the ability to administer and receive punishment. This is our demons
shouting down the better angels of our nature.

Carolina Panthers general manager Marty Hurney says that - other than the bundles of flying cash - free agency 2007 has been business as usual.

"I think the pace has been the same," said Hurney. "Obviously, the numbers have changed in terms of money but we all knew that would be the case. But as for the pace of signings and approaches it's been how its been and will always be."

Since free agency began 59 unrestricted free agents have signed. And counting. One interesting outgrowth of this cash frenzy is that contracts signed by players in the past couple of years when the salary cap was close to $20 million lower look outdated compared to the deals signed under the new, $109 million cap.

And while it seems logical to explain to Star Player A that he makes the same or less than Important Player B because of marketplace realities beyond the control of the team, that may not be salve to a wounded ego.

"You just have to approach that situation from the standpoinit of those players will have chance when they come up close to free agency," said Hurney. "They all have to deal with those things. Any time you deal with salaries and people who perform at high levels, there are always things you have to work through."

THURSDAY WHIPAROUND

* Tony Grossi has the skinny on the Browns signing of Jamal Lewis and says the team's "severely soured" on Reuben Droughns.

* After 188 games with the Pack, William Henderson is out. Tom Silverstein has the reasoning.

* Dre Bly's agent tells Lee Rasizer that - contrary to speculation - Bly is giddy to be a Bronco.

* Jay Feely is in for the Dolphins and Olindo Mare's getting the toe writes Arthur Staple.

* Cut by the Saints, gritty, gutty Joe Horn is now a Falcon and Steve Wyche has the details. In terms of toughness and professionalism (cell phone in the goalpost excepted) Horn is everything Atlanta needs. But there aren't many 35-year-old receivers who, after a two-year downturn, reclaim their previous form.

* Chris Simms is high-roading it when talking about the looming QB competition in Tampa he faces with newly signed Jeff Garcia. Roy Cummings has the quotes via the Dan Patrick Show.

* Hall and Outs...heh, heh. David Elfin has the kicker being shown the door in D.C.

This is not actually a fresh blog, but rather a heads-up to my five faithful readers (Eric, Greg, Mom, Matt and Whoever) that the previous has been appended and now is bursting with fruit flavor. So go back and re-read, if you feel the need.

Dwyane Wade had a big decision to make.

Should he... be done for the season and get surgery on his left shoulder.

Or shouldn't he... and instead hold off on the surgery. Then (with fingers crossed) try to come back and play for the Heat after a few weeks of rehab.

It is certainly a question several great athletes have had to make in their careers. And at 25, the defending champion had a lot to think about: a team, a title, and most importantly, his health.

"My decision for the next two to three weeks is to rehab with the possibility of coming back, but with no guarantees," Wade said. "I'll find out after therapy and rehab how my body responds to things."

Decision made. Game on.

In the meantime, how will the Heat respond? Without D. Wade in the game can they attempt to still make a run at making it into the playoffs to try to defend their title? Right now without him, Miami is 3-2.

Regardless, Wade will still have to get surgery, a surgery that will require four to six months of recovery.

Coach Pat Riley:
"He's a warrior. He's a soldier. And these are his guys," Riley said. "The doctors are world-renowned, and they said he can go forward this way. This is what you do when you're a defending champion. He has made the decision to try to rehab it and hopefully help the team, and he should be admired for that."

Admired? Yes. Of course. Dwyane is admired for several things both on and off the court. But I know a lot of people who do admirable things that at the same time are just plain stupid. And what I worry about is if this is one of those situations.

As for now, Wade will go through the rehab and then attempt to come back. But what is he coming back to? A team that may or may not be in the playoffs? A team that could or just as easily could not have a shot at the NBA Championship?

Is it worth it?
Would you or wouldn't you?
Hopefully at the end of the season, D. Wade's big decision will have been the right one and we won't be asking ourselves the worst question: why did he?

"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

--Captain Oveur (Peter Graves), "Airplane!"

So headquarters tells me that nothing on our site gets the hits that Ultimate Fighting does. There's something about watching two nearly naked men beating one another to a bloody pulp that just fascinates people. What in the name of Ken Shamrock is going on here?

Maybe we can blame it on the fact boxing ceased to exist the day Buster Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson. And maybe this explains why they cannot manufacture "Saw" movies fast enough, or why that film 300 looks more like a video game than a movie.

And maybe this would be the perfect career segue for Ron Artest.

And maybe, if you're an Ultimate Fighter but that career doesn't work out for you, you can console yourself knowing there's always a gig as a Runner's World cover boy awaiting you.

No matter. I'm not here to judge. I've always felt that in order to call something a sport, you only needed (but had to have) the following two elements:

1) physical prowess involved
2) defense

Everything else is either a game (poker, for instance) or athletics (downhill skiing). Ultimate Fighting has both physical prowess and defense, so it's a sport as far as I'm concerned. Brutal sport, but a sport.

What's next, though? Should there be a prison-riots channel? How about BBN (Bar Brawl Network), where we get to watch actual bar fights taking place? Have you ever seen someone actually being hit over the noodle with a beer bottle? It's not like what you saw in "Blazing Saddles".

Long, long ago, thirty years ago in fact, there was a famous two-part episode of Happy Days that coincided the show's reaching its height of popularity. It was the episode in which Arthur Fonzarelli, alias "the Fonz", attempted to leap 14 garbage barrels on his motorcycle. The stunt was to be attempted on the show within the show entitled "You Wanted To See It". And for whatever reason, I've never forgotten that one of the running gags in that episode was that Warren "Potsie" Webber had written into the show saying that he wanted to see...do you remember what it was? Yes, Potsie wanted to see a "human sacrifice".

Whenever I watch reality shows, or UFC, I always think of that episode. Because I think deep down--and maybe not even so deep down-- that's what a lot of people truly want to see when they tune in to UFC. Because, after all, Apocalypto is just a movie.

Anyway, long live UFC, I say. It's not as if we saw any less blood being spilled during the Duke-Carolina game on Sunday.

No, you did not mistakenly log on to the Huffington Post. I'm just reading all about Ann Coulter's Tim Hardaway moment last Friday, when, at a meeting of the Conservative Political Action Committee in Washington, D.C., she had the following to say about Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards:

"I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word 'faggot,' so I -- so kind of an impasse, can't really talk about Edwards."

I mean...does she kiss Karl Rove's behind with that mouth?

Ann Coulter, you see, embodies a refutation of one of my core beliefs, and that is this: There's no such thing as a tall, shapely unattractive blonde. Now, perhaps that statement is chauvinist, or worse, anti-blondist. But no matter if you're red or blue, Coulter's shrill personality and venomous invective long ago grew tiresome. With her translucent complexion and "social X-ray" physique, she could be a ghost. No, a Coultergeist.

And by employing such a bitter, polarizing strategy, she seems to be warning even those who would be Republican, "Do NOT go into the Right."

And now back to the Sports Section...

...Or un-tying it for that matter.

Chris Rock's new movie I Think I Love My Wife takes a look at a man bored in his marriage and the temptation to venture off the commitment path and down the sexy oh-to-be-single-again road.

NBCSports.com writer John Walters takes a different look at marriage. DIVORCE.

Specifically: Welcome to New Jersey: The Guardin' (Your Assets) State. Unless you've managed to not pick up a NY paper at all this season, you know there's trouble in the land of love for some very big name NY athletes. The not-so-private unraveling of these relationships have certainly been just as fierce as any battle on the field or court. But of course, Walters has some relationship advice! Example:

"All of which is to say that if you're a professional athlete working at the Meadowlands, you'd do yourself a favor to examine the parallels between matrimony and the New Jersey Turnpike that borders your workplace: with both, eventually you're going to have to exit and when you do, there's a toll to pay. You wonder why most professional athletes would ever be dumb enough to get married in the first place. Income taxes are out of their control. But infidelity tax? That's self-imposed."

Have a read.

The other day on our show, Gregg got me all pumped up at the possibility of Jake Plummer coming to Houston to save the Texans from another disastrous year. Out with David Carr and in with Plummer.

In the words of Borat: "Not so much."

Looks like Plummer is going to Tampa Bay to take over for Chris Simms. And once again, the Texans are scrambling to figure out how to resolve a situation that since 2002 hasn't really gotten that much better.

Sigh.
And we wait.

While we are on the subject of Texas... I would like to remind you that today, March 2, is the 171st Anniversary of Texas' declaration of independence from Mexico. History lesson of the day.

"The stars at night, are big and bright ... deep in the heart of Texas!"

Across America, during football season, each Sunday is devoted to the NFL. You gather friends, hang out, eat, drink and cheer on your favorite team.

In NYC, we tend to celebrate Sunday Funday by going to sports bars. There are a few reasons for this. The walls are lined with TV after TV. So even if your crew is mixed with Cowboy fans, Redskins fans and a few Pats, there are enough TV's to cover everyones Sunday needs. Food and beer are just one order away, which means no cooking or dishes. Plus when you live in a shoebox, its hard to have guests over 'comfortably'.

SIDE NOTE: If you've never seen an NYC apartment, just go to Craigs List and peruse through the listings of available apartments. You'll get the visual pretty quick.

But for those of you who are lucky enough to live in a spacious house and chill with your friends in say, a living room, (again a novelty to New Yorkers) your Sunday has the potential to get a lot better. Check out this video sent to me by a friend. Imagine if this actually became an item you could buy at your local Wal-Mart, Target or Best Buy. How much better could Sundays get (potentially)?

Watch video.

I thought they were over.

The commercials. The voice. The costumes (wig, mustache, bathrobe). Apparently I was wrong.

Peyton Manning will be back under the lights, testing his acting chops on the comedic stage as the Host of Saturday Night Life. I honestly haven't watched the show in a long long time but I'm sure they can get some good sketches with the MVP of Super Bowl XLI.

All I can hope is that they do something with Maya Rudolph and her character, Donatella Versace. That is hands down always one of the funniest skits every time she does it. And anything with Andy Samberg is hilarious. Might I remind you of he and Justin Timberlake's awesome video? If P. Manning can pull off something like that... I'll be impressed.

He goes LIVE on March 24 on NBC.

Kyle Brady, a free agent tight end most recently with the Jaguars could fly to New England as early as today to meet with the Patriots.

With tight end Daniel Graham headed to Denver for a visit and pretty much as good as gone, the Patriots look to Brady to fill the role Graham was best at -- kicking out defensive ends and outside linebackers while catching the occasional pass. It was a role Christian Fauria filled for the Pats

Teams are lining up to sign the hard-blocking, hard-handed Graham who's expressed a desire to be a bigger part of the passing attack than he is in New England.

Brady, 6-6, 280, is entering his 14th year. He's played every game over the past two seasons but at 35, it's unlikely he'll get a massive offer from the Patriots.

The Patriots are also in the Adalius Thomas race at this point. They will push to get a sitdown with the ex-Ravens linebacker but are clear on the fact that, with Thomas perhaps the most coveted free agent out there, he probably won't be too hasty with making a decision. If that's the case and a bidding war ensues, expect New England to push away from the table and move on to the next tier of free agents.

And Thomas' backup, Jarret Johnson -- a smart, versatile guy who's been buried behind some talented players in Baltimore -- may be a coveted member of that second tier.

Montae Reagor, who suffered serious facial injuries in an October 22 car accident, was released Thursday by the Colts.

The 29-year-old Reagor was on his way to the Colts game against Washington when he was broadsided. The impact flipped his SUV, tore apart his face and ended his season. Reagor started all five games the Colts played before his accident. Now he's out of a job.

Reached on his cell phone Friday morning, Reagor was trying hard to be diplomatic.

"I'm very surprised that it happened," he said. "It's a great organization. It's a touchy situation and I just have to give myself a couple of days to deal with it. I don't want to react right now I just have to approach it as business."

Reagor said he met Thursday with Tony Dungy and Bill Polian and he said the meeting was very "to the point."

Reagor, according to Mike Chappel at the Indianapolis Star, was due a $1.05 million roster bonus and a base salary of $2 million in '07. Chappel had Reagor's cap hit at $3.9 million for 2007.

"Trust me, I'll play again and I'll play at a very high level," promised Reagor. "It's not my fault that I couldn't play the rest of the season because of somebody else's stupidity."

This blog just got off the phone with the agent for Adalius Thomas, the much coveted free agent linebacker from Baltimore.

Asked if Thomas is looking forward to being on the free agent market, Cook said, "Sure he is. He's been in Baltimore the while time but that's over."

So he's not going to re-sign with the Ravens?

"That's very likely," Cook said, adding that Thomas isn't torn over the decision and has already adopted the "it's business" mindset.

Cook, who also represents Packers QB Brett Favre, said his phone rang a minute past midnight when the free agency period began but he was still sleeping.

Thomas is having an "outpatient procedure" done according to Cook. The agent wouldn't reveal the nature of it but said it wasn't as serious as an arthroscopic procedure."

When he's done being procedured, Thomas will meet with Cook and the two will go over the invitations for visits that have come in. Cook wouldn't divulge any of the teams until he's had a chance to speak with Thomas.

The 6-3, 270-pound Thomas turns 30 in August. He's got 28 sacks in his last three seasons and can cover and rush the passer.

The 49ers and Patriots are reported to be leading candidates for Thomas. New York was also rumored earlier in the week to be ready to show interest.

Two Gators didn't exactly kill 'em with smarts at the NFL Combine last week.

According to a league source, Florida safety Reggie Nelson and Florida defensive end Jarvis Moss were unimpressive in personal sitdowns with teams. Both players are viewed as first-round prospects with Nelson being, in many projections, the second-best safety prospect behind LSU's LaRon Landry.

Both men are juniors so maybe jitters got to them. Or perhaps it hasn't been adequately stressed to players in general (not specific to Moss and Nelson) that these are job interviews and, since intelligence matters, the best way to convey that to teams is to speak in something resembling sentences with words you might find in the dictionary.

In an eyebrow-raiser, the Steelers have released outside linebacker Joey Porter's bullet-scarred butt this afternoon.

Porter was set to receive a $1 million bonus on Tuesday and was on the books to make $4 million in 2007. Porter, 29, has a bark that's worse than his on-field bite. But even though he has holes in his game, the Steelers aren't exactly stocked at linebacker so the release puts Pittsburgh in even more dire straits. Clark Haggans is the starter on the other side in the Steelers 3-4.

Pretty ballsy move by Mike Tomlin given Porter's stature with the team but it's always good to give the sword to a few sacred cows to let everyone know what's up. And it was financially prudent.

Beautiful first day of March here in Manhattan, which has inspired in me these completely non-sports related musings.

For instance, apropos of nothing, this morning I composed a parody tune of Phantom Planet's California . Here it is. It's called North Dakota :

"Somewhere near Fargo,
Freezing off a toe,
Chillin' like it's ten below,
North Dakota, here we be,
God-forsaken misery,

NORTH DAKOTA! NORTH DAKOTA!
Dig us ouuut!

Al Yankovic sleeps soundly tonight.

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I have an idea for a horror creature. He's a vampire who feasts not on the blood of the living, but rather on their bone marrow. His name: Count Fibula .

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I'm really looking forward to seeing Zodiac , which comes out tomorrow at the plexes. So yesterday I bought Robert Graysmith's book upon which the film is based, Zodiac Unmasked , and took it with me as I went out. So I'm sitting alone in a bar, reading a chapter or two. Suddenly I look in the mirror. I haven't shaven. I'm 40 years old. I'm sitting at a bar all alone reading a book about a serial killer. Two words: CHICK MAGNET.

Former Utah State All-American Wayne Estes ("Larger Than Life in Death") is fondly remembered by many readers. Some had the pleasure of seeing him play in person, others just recall the stories that their parents have passed along. Below is a sampling of some of the emails we've received regarding Estes in the past few days.

Your story has made my day!

Hell, it has made my year!

I am 52, and Wayne was my hero. I was 11 years old the night he died. It changed my life forever!

You see, I was a pudgy 11-year-old who went into the locker room before the game that night against Denver. I got Waynes autograph, and I was chosen to walk from the locker room out onto the court with Estes! I was devastated the next morning when I went to my three-room schoolhouse in Trenton, Utah (northwest of Logan), when my fifth-grade principal met us six boys and told us that Wayne had been killed last night! We were numb! We always shot free throws during lunch. We did that day, but tears came down all six of us boys. We didn't say much that day! Our hero was gone, how could we go on? How could I help my dad milk the cows that night on our dairy in Trenton?

Mark Grant
St. George, Utah

I was a 10-year-old growing up in Logan, Utah, at the time and like most of us there,looked to Wayne as my hero. As far as I was concerned, he was eight feet tall! I don't ever remember crying as long, nor as hard, at any time in my life as I did after hearing of Wayne's death. I was at that last game, sitting behind the chain link at the end of the court. Though it brought back painful memories, I haven't read anything for a long time that touched me like your
article did. It makes me wonder, where are all the Wayne Esteses in today's sports world?

Mark Haslam
Salt Lake City

I was 11 years old and at Wayne's final game on Feb. 8, 1965. I saw all of his games (at least all his home games). Like most kids in Logan, if Wayne was on the court I was watching him, and if Wayne was on the bench I was still watching him.

Kay Olsen
Providence, Utah

I was 5 1/2 years old that night in 1965 when the "Giant of a man" was tragically taken from us. I remember that night like it was yesterday. I would tag along to the games in the Fieldhouse with my father and grandfather -- usually sitting on their laps so I could see the game in that crackerbox of a gym. Those experiences are bigger than life to me -- even today.

The night Wayne died and the next day (and for days to come) was just like you portrayed: there was a dark cloud hanging over that whole valley and we collectively hurt for what had happened. Even today my father can't talk about the experience without having tears come to his eyes.

You mention in your article that we should let you know if we would like to buy a copy of the book Wayne Estes: A Hero's Legacy. I would like to purchase one so that when I'm done reading it I can give it to my high school son who loves the game of basketball but thinks it is all about how many slam dunks you can get in a game or whether it will be "Dollar Night" at the game (scoring 100 points on the other team).

Scott Nixon

(If you'd like a copy of the book, e-mail John Walters at john.walters@nbcuni.com.)

My parents were in school with Estes, were (and are) big Aggie fans, and were in attendance at the last game. Even after all of these years, my Dad gets choked up talking him and he didn't even know him well. I have seen other grown men break down as well who were kids at that time. He was their hero. Even those of us that never knew him, love him as a brother and are grateful for his life.

Terrall Budge

I was Ladell Andersen's student manager two years after that 1964-65 season. When he talks about Wayne's shooting skills, as I hope you might have sensed, he's not exaggerating. It was remarkable to watch.

Craig Hislop
Logan, Utah

Thank you for your recent article on Wayne Estes. Like many who attended USU at that time, I got to know Wayne. We roomed in the same Quad in Richards Hall ... Room 5111 ... my freshman year. ... Wayne was a sophomore. Eight athletes ... two bathrooms! I was from Ontario, Canada ... and on a football scholarship. Live somewhat together for a year ... and you get to know each other. We later joined the same fraternity ... but it didn't work out. Wayne and I were not the frat types.

Wayne then dated my wife (of 40 years) a few times. The girls liked Wayne. Coincidentally, my wife and Mike Murry have taught at the same high school in Sandy for twenty years. We often reminisce about "Baby Huey." We are amazed at how many "best friends" Wayne still has in Utah.

Win Matthews
Sandy, Utah

I am a student at Utah State. For two years I sat in the Spectrum and looked up at his jersey, wondering who he was exactly. None of the current students, even die hard b-ball fans, really knew. I finally found out about his story from an old professor who was telling stories about him in class. Since then I have been looking for something like this! Thanks again for this much-appreciated and much-needed article.

Lance Tyrrell
Logan, Utah

I was a junior in high school and attended that last game. My folks had season tickets in the bleacher seats above the west basket where Wayne shot his last shot. Wayne and Del Lyons lived in a basement apartment in my uncle's house. Every time I attend an Aggie basketball game I pass the trophy case where the picture of Wayne along with his shoes has been displayed for decades. Can't do that without a flashback.

Randy Weston
Logan, Utah

Congratulations on capturing what is most important in our small, family based town. Athletics is the means to an end here, sometimes to a fault. Every year, at least 125 teams flock to Anaconda for the Northwest's biggest basketball tournament, named after Mr. Wayne Estes. This year the dates are from March 28 to April 1.

Blake Hempstead
Anaconda, Mont.