March 2007 Archives

Oden just loaded up from about 12 feet away, took a step then went almost parallel to the floor in an attempt to get thunderous over Jeff Green. The ball banged off the back of the rim, Green got called for a block and Oden gingerly got to his feet.

On an unrelated note, Ludacris is two seats back from me with his kids on his lap.

Nobody can cover Oden inside. Hibbert has four fouls and played exceptionally soft when he was in, afraid to pick up fouls inside then got whistled for a dumb hold on a loose ball. Ohio State just reeled off six points since I started this entry.

Uh-oh...Oden has 10 points now.

On Oden as Hibbert got the ball in close and made a nice spin move. It was a touch foul and the kind of call that could easily have gone unwhistled with no complaint from Georgetown. Oden appears to be coming out after this timeout. Hibbert, meanwhile, gave Oden tons of room to work inside after picking up his third foul.

Greg Oden started the second half and got himself quickly involved in the post. He's going up strong but under control against Hibbert who just picked up his third foul and will now go to the bench.

OSU coach Thad Matta went bananas at a couple of no-calls - one on a drive by Mike Conley, the other a dunk attempt by Oden. But he quickly simmered down. It makes little sense for Matta to want the game called tighter and he probably realized that and piped down.

This blog feels badly for Greg Oden. He's about 12 feet away from me on the OSU bench and he sat there, eyes darting from the action to the ticking clock watching what would have been the biggest game of his life unfold without him.

Oden picked up both his fouls on the offensive end of the court.

So check this out...in the first 161 seconds three total fouls were called -- two on Greg Oden and one on Roy Hibbert.

And those are the only three fouls called so far in this game with Ohio State up 14-7 and 9:48 left in the half.

PS...Mike Conley is having his way for OSU.

It took all of 18 seconds for the first call to go on on eof the big men as Roy Hibbert got whacked with a foul on the game's first possession.

Not to be outdone, Oden got whistled for clearing out on Ohio State's second possession.

"Jeff Green traveled! (clap, clap, clapclapclap)!"

That was the first chant of the afternoon, coming from an early-arriving crew of 10 or so Ohio State fans. Green, the Georgetown player who traveled on a game-winning shot earlier in the tournament against Vanderbilt but didn't get whislted for it, simply smiled.

Non-calls have been rare, though. More frequent and distressing have been the whistles for touch fouls and normal course of action contact.

And with two leviathans ready to get it on in the first semifinal, there should be real worry that the Ohio State-Georgetown game is going to be altered by officiating. It's good for college basketball if Roy Hibbert and Greg Oden only have to sit because of fatigue, not foul trouble.

It will be very interesting to see how this game is called.

SEAT 49 ROW 3 COURTSIDE - Hoyas center Roy Hibbert was the first player on the court, getting out here at about 4:40...no Buckeyes came out until 5...there's no shooting going on...just stretching....hope they didn't forget to bring the balls for this thing.....

IN A FOLDING CHAIR AT A LONG TABLE THAT SEATS 30 IN THE GEORGIA DOME - What. Is. Up?

This blog has parachuted into the Final Four for the weekend.

This means the Bump 'n Run has been at the NFL's Annual Meetings in Phoenix wandering around a hotel it would have had no business being at if it didn't have business at it and is now at the only event that - in this blog's mind - compares to the Super Bowl.

Makes all those days spent covering events like Pee Wee Cheerleading and Biddy Basketball tournament games worth while.

To give you an idea of the setup, 55,000 of the dome's seats are in play for the game. I'm in a 100-yard long media workroom at the moment which has 18 tables that seat 30 print media each. The "room" is defined by blue drapes 20-feet high and is about 50 yards from the court.

This blog also just had to move its seat in the workroom because of a loud and interminable cell phone conversation being conducted by "dude in yellow shirt from some paper in Kansas."

He segued from the phone conversation to detailing where Harry Truman's favorite hotels..

Riveting stuff...

This blog has a terrific headache which may or may not have impacted my sensitivity to "dude in yellow shirt".

We're about two hours from the Georgetown-Ohio State tip and, if things fall just so, the next time Greg Oden plays basketball he could be wearing a Celtics uniform.

This week's show stars Tom Arnold. Not sure if you caught him on the Conan O'Brien show, but if you did, then you are aware that the man says ANYTHING! He is unpredictable and random yet at the same time you can't help but be naturally drawn into his chaos. When you interview a guy like him, the best bet is just to sit back and let the man go. Cause he will!

He also is extremely giving. His new movie PRIDE was filmed down in New Orleans. While down there he found out about the mother of an up and coming sports star who was tragically killed. Arnold decided to help out and give her a scholarship to go back to school and help her obtain her degree. Its stories such as this that are pleasant surprises that just sort of come out when talking to Tom.

We hung out in his dressing room for a solid 30 minutes, which is a long 20 minutes more then we anticipated. He then was off to go do another event and then fly down to Florida where he is filming his next film with Sharon Stone. Ahh, the life of a movie star!

SPOILER ALERT: If you are enjoying Discovery Channel's Planet Earth , the 11-part series that began last Sunday, well, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I hear that in the final installment Tony gets whacked.

ANYWAY... Please turn your hymnals to Page D1 of last Friday's USA Today . The cover story of the Life section is entitled "Get On The Airbus". To help us appreciate the enormity of the A380 Airbus that can carry 853 passengers, there are a few objects whose sizes are depicted in scale to one another. The objects are, in descending order:

A380 ......................................239 feet, 6 inches
Boeing 747-400......................231 feet, 10 inches
Boeing 737-800......................129 feet, 6 inches
Jenny 867-5309......................5 feet, 7 inches (Okay, not really, but how funny would that have been?)
Blue Whale..............................75 feet

Harry Potter news:

Any fan, go here and see what it is.

I am fully aware that this has absolutely nothing to do with sports.
Now the question is, are you aware of how freaking good these books are?

March Madness. Spring Training. PacMan Fever. Miss USA.

I know.

Who has time to follow sports outside the U.S. with so much going on here?

And yet, here's just some of what you've been missing:

WHO:
Jeff "Derd" Stoeckel
Harvard Baseball
Sophomore SS

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HIM:
Named to the Ivy League Honor Roll March 27 after batting .444 (4-9) with a .500 on-base-percentage in three games for the Crimson while playing errorless defense at shortstop. He was 3-for-3 with a walk, RBI and three runs scored against Northwestern ... Was on base three times with a single and two walks at Eckerd on 3/26

FACTS OF LIFE:
When you grow up with your best friends, you also grow up with their siblings.
Sightings of the siblings, also known as 'little ones', occur often.
Such as:
When you pick up friend to go to the beach.
When you attend slumber party at friends house.
When you and friend are supposed to study but watch the Titanic win 75 Oscars instead.
And of course there are guaranteed sightings at family required events such as
Prom(s)
Recital(s)
Graduation(s)
Holiday(s)
and yet to be had by anyone in the Stoeckel/Simons family
Wedding(s). (Ahem.. Luke?)

Then one day, you wake up and get a smack in the face. Suddenly the 'little guy' ain't so little anymore. The kid who ran past you and out the door when you'd come over to chill with his big sister, is standing at 5'11" and making waves in college baseball. I am looking up ... just to look at him.

MAD PROPS:
Here's to one of the 'little ones' ... Way to go Derd!

Check out more of #7.

PHOENIX -- Indisputable video evidence will be a little easier to obtain in 2007.

The league's owners voted 30-2 on Tuesday to permanently adopt instant replay and upgrade all equipment before the season. They're going HD with everything which should bring disputed plays into clearer relief. Hopefully, the new equipment will also speed the process.

The other resolution that passed unanimously on Tuesday allows assistant coaches who are in the mix for head coaching jobs to take part in a follow-up interview if their team is in the Super Bowl.

Previously, assistants whose teams were in the playoffs were allowed to interview only between the wild card games and the civisional playoffs. That ended up hurting assistants whose teams were in the Super Bowl since nearly a month could pass between their first interview and their follow-up.

The caveat to this is that the assistant can only interview if there's a two-week break between the conference championship games and the Super Bowl.

Owners knocked down the proposal to allow sideline-to-helmet communication with a defensive player. And the 49ers' proposal to revise the pass interference penalty was withdrawn.

On Wednesday, owners will vote on whether to expand the game day roster from 45 players to 47, whether to implement a 5-yard penalty for spiking the ball at the end of a play that doesn't result in a touchdown, moving the overtime kickoff point from the 30 to the 35 and allowing balls used in the kicking game to be worked over before being put into play.

Not exactly anything you'd break into regularly scheduled programming for, is it?

As it stands the most significant happening at these meetings was the hashing out of the revenue sharing plan on Monday. The anticipated announcement of changes to the player conduct policy will not happen this week, indicated NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. He does expect there to be a new plan in place before the draft.

The island of Manhattan was actually....gasp... hot today!

That is if you can count 73 degrees as hot.

Spring is here...Bring it on baby!!!!!

You already know how I feel about the FLORIDA GATORS.

But did you know how this guy feels? Talk about needing to let off a little steam. Randy is not exaclty screaming, "Oh Gators, how I love thee." Especially towards Gators center Joakim Noah. Here's an appetizer:

"But on the court, Noah has become just slightly less annoying than the TV timeout. "

"Foremost in Noah's arsenal of annoying acts is the primal yell...Noah has taken the yell to the extreme, choosing to howl after damn near every move he makes to enhance the Gators' shot at victory."

"No, the Gators are using honest methods to gain unpopularity."

Hey he said it, not me.

You know him from Late Night with Conan O'Brien . It's the Horny Manatee.

What is the last song played on your iPOD?
My Hopeless Manatee by Rocket Me Nowhere. They wrote the song about me, and it makes me even hornier to listen to it (if that's possible)!

What celebrity would you most like to trade places with? Why?
Bryant Gumble. First of all, who wouldn't want to be a Gumble? Secondly, I'm realistic enough to know I could never fill Greg Gumble's shoes.

What website can you not live without?
www.HornyManatee.com. I literally cannot live without it.

What did you do with your first paycheck?
I was really messed up back then. I'm not going to lie to you, my first paycheck went to booze and drugs. I'm not proud of it. But now, I save as much as I can. I know my killer body won't last forever, so one day I'm going to go to college.

What's your favorite thing in your closet?
My favorite thing in my closet has to be my Manateen outfit. I love looking cute and sexy all at one time!

PHOENIX - Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the league's more influential owners, delved into a number of issues the league's 32 owners are grappling with this week.

One was moving ahead the revenue sharing program among owners to decide which teams would be qualifiers for additional funds.

"I think we came up with a program now that allows us to fulfill the last [piece] of the labor deal: a revenue sharing plan. If we hadn't agreed, and it only had two negative votes, then the commissioner would have had the unilateral power to decide. So this takes us through the past year and the next three years.

"I don't think anyone is 100 percent happy with it, but when we did our labor agreement it was contingent on having this plan. I think it was a wonderful compromise with the committee. I'm glad it didn't have to go to the commissioner and we got 30 out of 32 votes (Cincinnati and Jacksonville voted against). I think it's a very fair plan."

The revenue sharing issue and restoring civility among the owners, Kraft believes, was the most important thing to be accomplished this week and it already has.

"We have a great partnership in this league, as a business. We have to get the room back together as a whole. I think in this last labor negotiation there was a lot of division from within, and a lot of fracturing, and I think we have to work very hard to bring it together," Kraft explained. I think taking this qualifier issue off the table now allows us to try to get back to a balanced partnership with the union."

Asked about his teams' huge foray into the 2007 free agent market, Kraft said, "Every individual team's needs are different -- what's right for us might not be right for someone else -- and we knew that there were 25 teams that had a lot of cap room. So people were going to come fast off the market. We had to decide what was right for our franchise, and then be ready to move in the marketplace. We didn't like being one minute away from going to the Super Bowl, and anything we could do to make our team better and improve, that's what our focus was."

Everlasting blogstopper Greg Auman , a.k.a. "GA", reminds me that Sheryl Crow is doing hair-dye commercials for Revlon. Why hasn't any marketing genius at Revlon come up with an entire line of rock-and-roll colors, entitled, fittingly (thanks, Greg): "Only The Good Dye Young", or "Color My World"?

A sampling of the colors we'd like to see:

Blonde on Not-Blonde

Simply Red

Honestly, Revlon, do we have to do your jobs for you?

So I have this camera... a Nikon D50 to be exact. I love it. (Spent the majority of today in Central Park taking pictures. Snnnaaappppp).

However, I can NOT figure out one thing: how to transfer my new pictures.

Already, I've taken several pictures and loaded them onto my computer. Then the next time I go out and shoot, if I try to transfer the new photos onto my computer it only allows me to transfer EVERYTHING not just the new ones. In other words, I keep copying the same pictures over and over in addition to the new ones. So I guess my question is: A) Is there a setting I can put it on that will allow me to only tranfer the new pictures? B) Should I be clearing my memory stick after every download to avoid duplicating?

This is suddenly starting to sound like a Craigs List posting, a very G-Rated one. Haha...

I'm going to B&H tomorrow to get answers. But if you happen to know how to fix this, help a girl out and email me!!!! Tiffany.Simons@nbcuni.com

The Final Four: Florida, UCLA, Georgetown, Ohio State. I didn't get UCLA, but the other three are sitting pretty nice in my bracket. Hope you did even better then me!

SIDE NOTE: As I'm writing this, America's Next Top Model is on and if you could just see the 'Pose Master' in this episode you'd be laughing soooo hard. He is wearing a gold unitard. A GOLD UNITARD. Enough said.

Speaking of models and costumes, check out John Walters blog on the Miss USA Pageant. He blogged his way through the beauty contest on Friday night. Unfortunately, I was running around hanging balloons and streamers on Friday night for a friends surprise birthday party, so I had to catch the show on Saturday. Say what you will, I love watching those things!

Jayhawks trail 58-51 with 2:59 to play. KU fans might be heartened to learn that in the Division II men's hoops final earlier today, Barton came back from a 6-point deficit in the final minute to defeat Winona--and end that school's 57-game win streak.

60-51 UCLA with 1:36 to play. The nail in the coffin may have been Mbah a Moute's block of Russell Robinson's shot after that acrobatic drive just to get to the hoop.

Brandon Rush just scored off a sweet baseline reverse layup to make it 60-53. Man, is he Pippenesque. You watch a play like that and you wonder why he didn't impose himself on the game more forcefully earlier. That is one gifted hoopster.

60-53, Woodens.

Afflalo just got the shooter's touch on the front end of a one-and-one. Missed the second, but it may not matter. KU missed a layup to follow. Now Collison's on the line.

62-53 with less than a minute to play.

Walton is high-fiving the fans around him.

Arthur just made a put-back of yet another missed KU layup. It's 63-55, UCLA, with 45.3 to play. Kansas, Think Barton.

If form holds here--and there's still plenty of time left, 11:29--and UCLA wins, then next week's Final Four will feature both Ohio State coach Thad Matta and UCLA center Lorenzo Mata. Though their teams would not play until the final.

Mata, a 6'9" headband banger, has come up huge defensively all night. He may not have many actual blocks, but he has altered KU shots and simply distracted the Jayhawks to the point of instigating so many of their misses down low. He's my MVP thus far even though he did not attempt a shot in the first half.

Then again, Arron Afflalo and his 16 points might disagree with me. Okay, Afflalo just buried a stone-cold 25-footer with :01 on the shot clock to shut me up. He's the MVP to this point. Chalmers replied with a three. 49-43, UCLA.

Afflalo, another bucket. That's 21 points.

Bill Walton just stood an did the "U-C-L-A Fight! Fight! Fight!" cheer. There's still much to be cynical about regarding big-time college sports, but there' s also a lot to love. Just like religion.

Julian Wright just made a sweet layup and then KU got out on the break and created a fould call. Now Wright's back at the line with a chance to pull KU within five. Missed. Within six. Missed again. Stays at seven.

If you look up in the rafters--not that youd ever see it on TV-- there's a very loyal gang of Bruin students standing in Section 227. They're almost all cald in Bruin Blue and have been standing and cheering vociferously, I must say, all game long. And of course they have some of the worst seats in the arena.

So that's a reason to be cynical about big-time college sports.

KU just missed another four-footer. Story of the game. UCLA buries their bunnies, KU does not.

Give the Bruins credit. They play terrific defense, and no eam utilizes the half-court trap better. But KU has penetrated a lot and had close, if not wide-open, shots down low. They've just been rimming out too often. Has the Wizard cast a spell on KU's bucket?

As I type that, KU hits its second three of the night. Now Chalmers makes a steal...but Rush can't hit the wide-oppen three. That would have been huge.

46-38, Bruins.

KU has shot (and made) just one three pointer, while UCLA is 5-13.

Jayhawk power foward Darnell Jackson has seen more than average playing time and is 3-3 from the field (manly dunks) and 0-3 from the free throw line.

UCLA has already committed 13 turnovers (10 for KU).

I was charged $10 for a slice of pepperoni anda Diet Coke. Have you seen that Miller High Life ad where they take the beer from the restaurant serving the $11.50 burger? That's how I felt. By the way, the Parker-Meridien Hotel in NYC serves a $50 burger that, unless it gave me and 17 of my closest friends an orgasm, I'd never order. Save yourselves the money and pretentiousness and head for The Corner Bistro in the West Village. The burger is $4.50 and served on a paper plate and it's as good as it gets in New York City, burger-wise.

Brandon Rush just descended from the rafters to jam home the ball on a three-on-one break. Rocked the HP!

But then KU missed a chance to go ahead before half on a missed layup and UCLA's Josh Shipp hit a three from the corner at the buzzer. The red light framing the backboard came on just as the ball went through the rim (he lit the lamp...sorry, I've spent the last three games here in a penalty box).

Halftime score UCLA 35-31.

KU would be leading if about three or four of their bunnies had gone down and they could make some free throws. Through 20 minutes this has been a heavyweight prize fight, with both squads ebbing and flowing. A few too many turnovers for either coach's liking (though one TO is too many for them), but that's provided exciting fast breaks and jams for us.

Simply a great game so far. It's eye-popping how fast and athletic the college game has become. Evolution in athletics is equated to speed. No doubt. And money, I guess.

Okay, so here's how I'd change college hoops--though I certainly love the product:

1. No more jump-stop then leap plays. That's a walk.

2. You cannot call a timeout after you score.

3. More jugglers.

4. If you go for a block, your hand cannot touch the backboard. If you're not allowed to touch the rim as a defender, shouldn't the backboard be off-limits as well?

So far this game has all the energy that a 1 vs. 2 regional final should have. It's 12-9 Kansas at 15:25. Brandon Rush and Julian Wright of the Jayhawks have come to play, as has Arron Afllalo of UCLA. Chalk it up to the chalk players on the chalk teams playing up to their potential. This is an evenly matched contest.

So pardon me while I take a moment to tell te tournament selection committee, "Damn fine job, men." They hear no shortage of whining when Drexel or Syracuse fails to garner an invite (two schools who almost surely wouln't have made it past the first game, much less the first weekend).

But how about what they've accomplished? Three of the four regional finals are featuring 1 vs. 2 and the fourth, the Midwest, has 1 vs 3 (the closest thing to a Cinderella this tourney has is Oregon, a 3 seed that by the way happened to win its conference tourney).

So, again, Good Job, Selection Committee. Because no one ever says so.

Former UCLA and Kansas coach (and, while we're at it...Davidson...and the Carolina Cougars...Denver Rockets... San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Clippers, Indiana Pacers, Philadelphia 76ers, Detroit Pistons and New York Knicks...that guy) is rumored to be here today. Then again, if Brown showed up every time two of his former teams played, he'd never get a day's rest.

On to the bits of tid...Westwood Edition....

No relation to Capt. Fantastic...or the Brown Dirt Cowboy.

Lawrence Fan is the sports information director at San Jose State University (great name, eh? For a sports info director, that is? Almost as good as Dr. Hertz or Pastor Bedtime--I've never met a Pastor Bedtime, but that would be cool, right? "Who's calling, Dear?" "It's Pastor Bedtime.").

ANYWAY...Fan is also running the show here at the West Regional, and at the risk of sounding like a consummate suck-up, like an obsequious punk, I'd like to commend him on a wonderful innovation in sports-media facilitating. You see, I've been attending sporting events for free since 1989 and one thing that is always frustrating--although to a very minor degree--is the task of finding where you are to be seated. Everyone provides a seating chart, naturally, but the chart is laid out in order of the rows.

Miss Missouri is already out somewhere mashing with Colin Farrell. C'mon, you know she is.

"If you think you have what it takes to be the next Miss USA...contact NBCSports.com, blogs, etc.

Now Tara Conner is taking her final walk as Miss USA. And now she's being asked to touch her index finger to her nose. Now she's being asked to stand on one leg.

The Final Order:

Fourth Runner Up: Nevada
Third Runner Up: California
Second Runner Up: Kansas
First Runner Up: Rhosde Island
MISS USA...... TENNESSEE

"Tennessee IS who I thought she was!!!"

Ah, the sweet smell of vindication. I had her in third place from the very beginning. I'll take that.

Wise choice, judges.

How many seconds before Vince Young asks for the new Miss USA's number?

Question and Answer time. This ordinarily provides some squirm-worthy moments. It's like watching a puppy trying to cross an intersection. Here goes....

1. Nevada: Who's your hero? "Enrique Iglesias". Interesting.
2. Tennessee: Vince Young asked her, If you could be a famous man, who would it be? "Will Smith." Solid answer. At least she didn't say Reggie Bush.
3. Kansas: Does everyone deserve a second chance? NO. Bold answer. I wonder if Tara Conner was listening.
4. Rhode Island: Ban the use of something? Using cellphones while driving. Good answer. You think about it. You've got four seconds to come up with a reply on national TV. That ain't easy.
5. California: Is it fair for a woman to exploit her beauty? Wouldn't it have been great if she'd answered, "NO!", then walked off stage muttering, "I'm outta here."

Revised Rankings:

Tennessee
Rhode Island
Kansas
Nevada
California

Nevada
Tennessee...I like her...she's a college newspaper editor, just like Rory Gilmore. Me I never was on staff at my school's newspaper...and it shows
Kansas
Rhode Island
California...homer pick. She's okay, but I just don't see it.

My Revised Rankings:

Tennessee
Kansas
Rhode Island
California
(empty space...for Nevada's dress)
Nevada

I've just learned that Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams are already working on a book on Miss Missouri, if you know what I mean.

Best quip, from Moose, on Miss Nevada's dress: "It looks like someone took a switchblade to a ball of cotton candy."

Miss Congeniality: Montana. In other words, Miss "You'll-Love-Her-She's-Got-A-Great-Personality".

Miss Photogenic: Alabama. I agree. And I only voted for her 27 times.

There were some suggestions for variations on this time-honored staple of the competition, such as...

1.Boyfriend's boxers and wife-beater T
2. Naughty Nurse outfit
3. Tassles

Oh, Miss Missouri? Jessica Rabbit phoned. She wants her figure back. That said, who talked you into that 1973 bridesmaid's costume?

Best evening gowns, one man's (one man sitting in his hotel room alone) opinion:

1. Texas
2. Tennessee
3. Rhode island

Most Heinous?

1. Nevada
2. Missouri
3. Nevada, again (it's that hideous)

Virginia...
Hawaii...
Missouri... 4.0 GPA with that bod? Are you kidding? I thought "Something About Mary" was just a movie.
Texas
Tennessee
Nevada...tell me she's not dating Nick Fazekas?
California...She's a beauty consultant ("My advice to you. Get better-looking parents.")
Kansas
Utah
Rhode Island

So I chose three out of the top ten, based solely on photos and interview nuggets. Not horrible, but not outstanding, either. I promise I'll try harder next week.

....don't pull it, just enjoy it. Work it out."

Advice I wish my older brother had given me when I was five. Then again, he was the one giving me the wedgies!

SWIMSUIT PARADE!

Is there a town in America that celebrates the Fourth of July this way, and when can I move there?

Katie McCollow, wife, mother, cookie-dough addict and world-famous blogger (yuckysaladwithbones.com) already knows who won. She lives in Minnesota and I'm here in California. Here are here snarky comments from throughout the evening, without having told me who advanced. As if she were paying attention...

"Yuck! If that's Tara off drugs, bring on the crack!"

Finish this sentence: There's more trash on that stage than....

...than the Biloxi senior prom
...than your mom's work picnic
...than in Michael Moore's kitchen on the day after Thanksgiving

The name of this contest should be "Next Stop, Penthouse!"

You've got the Trumpster in the audience, and the show's on NBC, and there's no "Apprentice" tie-in. Couldn't we break the final 15 into two teams and see which ones could do a better job of selling McDonald's new Angus Burger over the course of eight minutes? Better yet, which side could eat more Angus Burgers over the course of eight minutes? Does Angus Young eat Angus Burgers?

These are all legitimate questions.

When the California contestant gets knocked out of this contest, I hope she throws some papers to the floor in tribute to Tim Floyd.

For what it's worth, I had Mississippi winning it all. She's out of it. My friend Moose says South Carolina is her favorite, and she's still in it.

Now, on to the all-important and crucial swimsuit competition...

Jumping over late to the Missusa Pageant, as we'll be calling it. Had to watch the end of the USC-UNC game. Have you ever seen a game where the momentum reversed that quickly? The Trojans looked like the best team in the tournament for five halves plus seven minutes. Then Taj Gibson picked up his fourth foul and the flip was switch. Or the switch was flip. Or the flip was wilsoned.

Whatever.

And then Pink Floyd tossed some papers onto the floor and took USC completely out of it in the game's final minute. That dude needs to spend more time with Pete Carroll inside Heritage Hall. Way too tightly wound. Yeah, Gibson's three second-half fouls were all questionable, and I think Floyd realized that he was riding the best horse in the race until Gibson's foul trouble took him out of it, but you just don't do that. After all, someone has to set a good example for O.J. Mayo.

The last time I can recall an NCAA game turning that dramatically in the second half was when Kentucky--with I believe Sam Bowie and Melvin Turpin--scored like two points over 12 minutes in the second half in a loss to...geez, I cannot remember.

USC actually had a 16-point lead at one point in the second half and then gave up a 16-0 run in the second half. Still, for the first 35 minutes, this was the most excellent game of the tourney. USC's defense and speed was outstanding.

The story of the comeback, in short: The Tar Heels' offensive rebounding, which was precipitated in large part by Gibson's absence.

...is not the Southern Cal-North Carolina game. No, tonight's big event starts in just niinety minutes: The Miss USA Pageant!!!. And I coudn't be more excited about that if someone were installing firedog in my home for free.

A lot of people, if they read this blog, may think that I have nothing better to do than catch up on Scrubs (like last night's "J.D'. Sitcom Fantasy", a classic!) repeats or search for photos of Helen Mirren . There's so much more to me than that. Like handicapping the Miss USA pageant.

The Miss USA pageant, unlike Miss America, presents a true face of contemporary American fabulous babes. Miss Nevada 2006: racy photos. Miss New Jersey '06: pregnancy. Miss USA '06: substance abuse rehab. It's nice to know that the women of Maui Fever actually have what it takes to win Miss USA.

After ninety minutes of exhaustive research here in my hotel room, I've put together a pre-pageant Top 10. My list of finalists. After one cycle of all 51 contestants, I'd narrowed the field down to 47 and had to reboot my laptop. Twice.

Now, the show airs live on the East Coast at 9 p.m., which means that by the time I have a chance to view it, Miss USA 2007 will already be chosen and on her way to a debilitating substance addiction. That said, I will still blog it live later this evening, but I promise to seal myself in my hotel room (while wearing pants at all times) and not read any emails, texts or notes passed under my door regarding the winner of this intense and spirited competition.

Now, onto the finalists, all of whom are quite capable of filling up their personal stats with a triple-double:

The Pitt band is playing The Mighty Mighty Bosstones' "The Impression That I Get" right now. Two songs you can always count on hearing at NCAA hoops games: That one and A-Ha's "Take On Me".

And I have absolutely zero problem with those choices. Love 'em both.

It's 52-45 UCLA with 2:48 to play. The Panthers just drained a three to come within nine. Still, there's been an invisible force field over the bucket the entire second half. They've missed too many easy shots. You just get the feeling that UCLA's been operating in 2nd gear for much of the half. Just gliding. Bruins are in control.

By the way, on the excitement scale, the first game here was about an 8 to 9. This one's been a 5. You could just feel the drop in energy level from the opening tip.

Shut up, Felix? In other words, maybe I misspoke. It's 54-48 UCLA with I:40 to play after another Pitt three. But they just fouled Collison with 92 ticks to play.

It's about to be 56-48, Bruins.

Five Pitt fans just stood up. They're all wearing white T-shirts, each one with a letter on it. When they stand up together it spells out "L-E-V-O-N". Because they dont' have enough friends to spell "SOMEONE SAVED MY LIFE TONIGHT". Then again, who does.

Pitt just nailed its third straight three-pointer, but Michael "Finger" Roll retaliated with a mid-range jumper.

58-51, Westwood, with 51.5 to play.

I provide these updates because I hope, for your sake, you're watching Tennesssee-Ohio State: "The Curse of the Orange Pearl".

Okay, it's all over: 64-55 the Bluins.

Face it. This is the blue-blood matchup you were hoping for. Kansas versus UCLA, or "Just Two Schools That Larry Brown Took to the Final Four Once Upon a Time".

UCLA has just doubled its advantage from six to twelve on consecutive threes by Michael Roll and Josh Shipp. Now Pitt has cut it to nine on a trey of their own to make it 43-34 with 9:43 to play.

One of Pitt's problems is that this game is too swift for them. They have a seven-footer with decent post movesand he has not been that much of a facotor. Gray has three fouls and eight points through more than 30 minutes. Who does he think he is, Josh McRoberts?

Momentum swing (since Gray left) . Pitt just hit a three and then UCLA committed an over-and-back violation (which I believe Anne Heche also committed). Anyway, Ben Howland's a smart dude and the UCLA just called a momentum-killing timeout. Because in NCAA basketball you can't just have William H. Macy go sit next to the coach who's team is on a run in order to cool them down. That's against the rules.

My old buddy, UCLA juggler Chris Smith is performing on the court during a timeout as we speak. Easily the best ball-handler on the court all day.

Smith is an aspiring film-maker, and the young man has as good a disposition as anyone you'll ever meet. He will be a star in something other than juggling someday, I predict.

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UCLA assistant coach Chris Carlson is--I apologize in advance--the world's oldest-looking 37 year-old. He even looks older than Greg Oden . Carlson is sitting on the bench holding placards that provide one-word commands for UCLA on defense or offense (examples: "Indiana" or "Dogs"). Either that or he's reprising Bob Dylan's iconic "Subterranean Homesick Blues" video.

I don't know how it looks from your plasma screen, but in person it's so cool to see UCLA's Nick Collison and Pitt's Aaron Gray on the ssame court. They're a human Contrast knob..

Collison is 6'1". Gray 7'0".
Collison is bald. Gray has floppy straight brown hair.
Collison is sinewy and dark. Gray is built like a plumber, albeit a very tall one.
Collison is lightning in a bottle. Gray is a little more, shall we say, deliberate.

Ebony and ivory/Live together in perfect harmony/Side by side on my piano keyboard/Why don't we?

PANTHERS

G--Antonio Graves
G-- Levance Fields
C--Aaron Gray
F--Levon Kendall (Canadian)
F--Mike Cook

BRUINS

G--Darren Collison....Hey, he's a Rancho Cucamongan! And his mom ran for Guyana (the 400) in the 1984 Olympics
G--Aaron Afflalo...Born at the UCLA Medical Center
C--Lorenzo "I'm not Thad" Mata
F--Josh Shipp...Dad played football at USC
F--Luc Richard Mbah a Moute....If I closed my eyes right now I could not retype his name correctly.

This may be the most inspired blog entry I've ever submitted.

Our man Jamaal got a pretty good look at a potential game-tying three from the top of the arc,, but it was a little off to the right. Falker fought hard for the rebound, but pulled a Chris Webber trying to decide on which teammate to pass the ball to. He couldn't decide on whether to toss it to guard Tony Young (14 points) or Tatum (19), and you know what they say about he who hesitates.

Falker half-tossed it between both teammates, and KU made the steal. Then, as mandated by the head of CBS programming, KU missed both free throws with 2.2 seconds left, providing the Salukis one final opportunity to launch a game-tying three. Young's shot from a step beyond half court fell short.

KU advances to Saturday, 61-58, in a game that likely surpassed everyone's expectations.

SIU guard Jamaal Tatum--the dude with the dreds whose dribbling routes remind you of a Family Circus Sunday comic is fun to watch. He dribbles around two or three Jayhawks, looking for teammates to set picks, until he finds an opening. Tatum has hit SIU's last two buckets, but Brandon Rush just grabbed a board and scored the put-back. Rush was fouled, too.

If he hits this shot, KU will have its largest lead of the second half. Nope, missed it. KU 52-49.

Falker! Randal just hit a lay-up. This rim likes him much, much better. It's 52-51, KU.

Now 54-51. 2:56 to play.