A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR

Lemme describe the set-up for you here.

The first ten or so rows of seats have all been taken out and replaced with tables for each NFL team. Each table is about eight feet long, with two chairs and that team's helmet on it. And not one of those helmets that's carved out in the middle for nacho cheese dip...mmm, nacho cheese.

Behind the NFL franchise area are the media seats. I'm fortunate enough to be both dead center and nowhere near Sports Illustrated's Dr. Z. I'm also fortunate that the nice people at the NFL (and I mean that, babe) provided hard seat cushions for each of us. See, the Radio City theater seats are designed for you to slump down into, but it's tough to type that way. So the NFL, thoughtful people that they are, provided these hard cushions.
The best part is, in the event that this draft requires a water landing, the cushions can be used as flotation devices...and isn't that the biggest crock? I used to date a flight attendant (of course you did) and she told me that the water-landing situation is just a myth.You know why you put your head between your knees in the crash position? So you can kiss your ass goodbye.

Behind the print media are two elevated platforms. Over my right shoulder is the ESPN crew. Over my left, the NFL Network crew. Earlier I heard the ESPN gang singing, "When you're a Jet/you're a Jet all the way...."

I like the NFL Network boys if there's a rumble. My man Charles Davis can take care of his self. ESPN's best chance is if Mel Kiper's hair forms a protective sheen (as opposed to Martin, Charlie or Emilio... and how come he took "Estevez", anyway?) around their set....which is not unlikely.

My prediction for who WILL NOT BE SELECTED first overall in this draft: Northern Colorado punter Mitch Cozad ....whom, despite what you may think, was not Ty Webb's college roommate. Yes, the Nancy Kerrigan of college football is probably not going to hear his name called today.

I saw my friend Michelle, the world's biggest Miami Dolphin fan, outside Radio City when I arrived. She told me that some people have been waiting outside on the sidewalk here since 1 a.m. Are you sure they're not camping out for Kings of Leon ?, I asked.

No, she assured me. They're NFL fans. Anyway, I wanted to give a free plug to Michelle (and her good friend, Michelle) for their NFL web site. You should check it out when you have time.

http://2michelles.accountsupport.com/