BEAN BALLS
Now pitching for the New York Yankees, Colter Bean. Whenever I come across a name such as his, I always think I should--but never follow through-- keep a list of weirdly appropriately named athletes. Such as a pitcher named Bean.
This is a desperate plea for G.A. to get involved and provide his master list. But tonight's game has already had twopitchers who might make the All-Appropriately-Named pitching staff:
Colter Bean
Gary Glover
Just throw in Bob Walk and Justin Kaye and there's your four-man rotation. But you need a fifth, so let's add Boof Bonser. Not that his name fits anything, I just like typing "Boof Bonser".
We're into the seventh inning stretch and all's we need is a keg behind the backstop to make this a beer-league softball game. Tampa leads 7-6. Both teams have 11 hits. The fans are ringing the cowbells and the hitters are smacking the cowhide.
Jorge Posada is the only batter on either side who's failed to reach base this evening. Fifteen different players have hits. The thesis, when I arrived in St. Pete, was that these Yankees are the best beer-league softball team you'll ever see. Tonight's game is doing nothing to dismiss that notion.
By the way, since tonight's game started, I've staged three mock drafts in my own mind. I'm losing it. In the latest one I had Smash Williams going before Marshawn Lynch.
Did I mention that this is the longest baseball game ever? Jeff Bradley and I were going to grab dinner after the game but now we're just hoping there will still be Kit Kats in the vending machine at our hotel. And by the way, will someone teach Uncle Junior how to eat a Kit Kat? You break the four pieces off one at a time! Carrado, get with it!
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Does Colter's strike zone seem to lean a little to the right, all the time?
All I can think of are misnamed athletes, like Joey Goodspeed, who really wasn't that fast, or Patrick Pass, who ran, or Sam Lightbody, who runs 6-9, 325 pounds. If my last name were Helpful, I'd fit right in here.
What really scares me, though, is this: freecolterbean.com. Now that Bean is back in the bigs, not sure what the site owner turns to with his free time.
How about the latest WFM ( world's fastest man - 9:72 100m ), Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt?