OAKLAND HAS SELECTED...

...but maintaining the organization's stand of all-clandestine, all-the-time, they've decided not to tell anybody.

Nice.

That will make this draft much more interesting.

No: JaMarcus Russell.

He's wearing a black suit, black shirt and black tie. Very slimming. (At the end of the round we'll pay tribute to the top three suits....my guess is that Brady Quinn's won't be one of them...nor will Joe Thomas's).

JaMarcus arrived onstage with a seven-person posse. We'll keep track of this for you. Largest posse.

I just spotted Marcus Vick in the green room watching Must Love Dogs on HBO. Crazy, crazy stuff.

JaMarcus's acceptance speech: "I'd like to thank my parents, God, and the Notre Dame defense for making this possible."

Before the Detroit Lion pick, they're actually (no lie) playing "Detroit Rock City". They did a "Sweet Home, California" song before Oakland picked.

If the Lions pick a wide receiver, I fully expect to see a red flag tossed onstage and an official go under a hood.

"Listen, Matt, you've still got a few minutes to change your mind. Are you sure about that?"

Get out your red flag, people: The Lions selected Calvin Johnson . Honestly, I love the pick. He's the best player in the draft. How are you going to do better than him? You trade away another receiver if you need more help.

Calvin's suit: charcoal, pinstriped. White shirt. Pocket-pen protector (Tech student, you know).

Posse Count: Six. So JaMarcus remains ins first place.