A FEW GOOD FILMS
Sorry I've been out of touch the last few days. My flabber was gasted, and I think we all know how painful that can be.
I was feeling fine up until CBS' airing of AFI's 100 Years...100 Movies--10th Anniversary Edition on Wednesday night. And people complain about the BCS polls?!?
Somehow, in ten years, the American Film Voters have decided that The General , a Buster Keaton silent film, has improved from having not made the list in 1997 to being the 18th best film of all time. The Searchers moved up 84 places to No. 12, and City Lights , a Charlie Chaplin classic, another silent movie, jumped 65 places to No. 11.
The African Queen ran aground, dropping 48 spots to No. 65. and Ben Hur was exiled down to the No. 100 spot. What in the name of Casey Kasem was going on?
There were some satisfying moments. Do The Right Thing , which only a week ago received MBP (Major Blog Props), was accorded the No. 96 position, while the movie that beat it for Best Picture Oscar in 1989, Rainman , failed to make the list. But how p.o.'d must Quentin Tarantino have been that his Pulp Fiction , which M. Night I'm-No-Hitchcock-Shammalammadingdong referred to in the show as the "greatest film of my generation", was slotted 18 spots (at 94) lower than Forced Gump , which is one of the more overrated films of all time?
Me, I was just hoping to see at least one of these films make the list: A Few Good Men, Good Will Hunting, either one of these two comedies, Animal House or Caddyshack, and of course, Pants Labryinth. Or Grizzly Man. E.T. made the list, at 24, eight places higher than The Godfather 2. When the AFI major domos saw that, they should have just revoked everyone's voting privileges and told CBS to just air a few more episodes of "C.S.I."
And don't even get me started on how The Sting failed to crack this list. Okay, I'm out.
New Blossary Term
If you're like me, you derive more pleasure out of reading the blogger comments than my actual blog. And so, you couldn't have failed to enjoy when loyal commenter "Anonymoose" self-imploded by 1) making a spelling error on her comment and 2) posting a second comment, acknowledging said mistake, which only served to add to the number of comments, which is the last thing she'd ever want to do.
Anyway, Moose, who does pride herself on being grammatically correct, is prone to a spelling error or two when she works herself into a lather (not unlike me). And since it happens more than infrequently (long-time readers may recall her hailing of John Knowles novel, "A Separate Piece"), we've come up with a term for this phenomenon, one to add to the Blossary--Is anyone compiling the Blossary, I should ask? Maybe I should.
The term: Moosespellings
KOBE OR NOT KOBE
Do you get the feeling that someone either at the NBA or ESPN is manufacturing this entire Kobe Bryant drama just to give us a storyline for June? It's not as if "SportsCenter" can lead every telecast with news of the UC-Irvine Anteaters, by the way. And what do we think of Erin Andrews' job behind the desk at Omaha this week? I will tell you this: Somewhere Bonnie Bernstein is seething. Have you ever seen Bonnie seethe? Not pretty. Well, actually, she's still pretty even then, but you don't want to be around for it.
Anyhoo, Kobe will be wearing a Laker jersey next winter, I believe. Not so much because the Lakers won't try to shop him, but because the few teams whom he'd be willing to play for won't want him. Kobe is the best one-on-one player in the NBA, no doubt, but it's TEAMS that win NBA championships. The Phoenix Suns and the Chicago Bulls would have to mess with their chemistry too much if Kobe joined them. His addition would compromise the players around him.
The Bulls, for example, have enough talented outside shooters already with Kirk Hinrich and Ben Gordon. And Hinrich is outstanding at dribbling and dishing, finding easy buckets for Luol Deng and Tyrus Thomas. You put Kobe on that team and now Captain Kirk has been relegated to Bones. "I'm a point guard, Jim, I can't bring a team back to life."
As for Phoenix? Who are they going to have to send west on the I-10? Marion and Barbosa, at least. While it would be something to watch Steve Nash be able to lead a break that has Kobe on one wing and Amare on another, I just don't know if the bouncers at Axis/Radius in Scottsdale could handle the mobs. It's already difficult enough keeping the silicone Valley girls out when Matt Leinart throws a birthday party there.
Two more Scottsdale items: For a peek at how Phoenix's most fashionable suburb tries to be the second coming of The O.C., go to dirtyscottsdale.com. And, as for peaks, my sister went to The Police show in Phoenix last week and reports that Sting told the audience that he might have seen a few of them at 6 a.m. that day when he was climbing Camelback Mountain . I love The Police, because long ago they wrote a song about Boris Diaw's 2007 playoff performance: Invisible Sun.
"Making a lasagna for one"
Sitting in the same room with my friends Mike and Katie, whose humor barometer ("It's pronounced thermometer!"...can't resist a Seinfeld reference) I respect as much as anyone's, I watched the premiere of "Flight of the Conchords" Sunday on HBO. It's a show that may best be described as (blossary term nominee) "Deadpandemonium".
Midway through the episode, as Katie and I stared at each other with a look that said, "I bet if we were stoned this would be hilarious", I didn't know what to think. I was certain that "Flight of the Conchords" was funnier than "Lucky Louie", but was this just a prank being pulled by the suits who reside on the corner of 42nd & 6th.
But then I watched it again, this morning, and I have to say I'm a fan. The hair helmet chalkboard schedule was funny, as was the forced hug with Meg, who is so convincing as the band's "fan base". "What were you doing under our stairs?" "Jogging."
So I'll watch next Sunday. I read that there's a future episode in which the New Zealand duo, Bret and Jemaine, do a rap. One refers to himself as the "Rhymenoceros" and the other as a "Hip-Hopopotamus". I'll tune in just to see if they can work wildebeest into that rhyme.
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NBCSports.com's John Walters goes into the world of college sports and well beyond. From Notre Dame to the latest in pop culture, JDub tackles it all.
Um...Mr. Kettle...don't you mean "John Knowles' novel" with an apostrophe? I'm just saying...
Wow - that probably just gained me a big ol' target on my back. (As I quadruple grammar & spell check this before hitting post.)
too chez
Good gnus to know....
The rigorous standards we set for this blog, just by the comment scrutiny! In full disclosure, I had an unnecessary comma in a restrictive clause back in October -- went by unnoticed at the time, but if I run for public office here someday, I know it'll come back to haunt me, like a blog-post Gary Hart.
If the Johntourage is someday retired -- how's that website coming? -- we can hop over to a spinoff posse and be Anonymouseketeers. I've got dibs on being "Cubby." (See, just had the period outside the endquote there, and went back and fixed. Zero tolerance!)
Hey, speaking of Camelback, where's my local sherpa E? I've been to the top of the mountain with the man, so I'm getting worried. E, post something, even only to ridicule me, else I'll send off Desmond Howard as a search party ...
Although I shouldn't be held accountable when out of the country,
I must confess from London that I made reference to the original Grecian marathon at 42 meters, when in fact I meant 42 kilometers. Thank Zeus JW wasn't ruthless enough to notice.
Sorry to be without comment for a few days. I did take Sting up Camelback in exchange for some coaching from him on a “problem” I was having. Those days are over, you don’t have to …
I have worked for years to perfect "tantric blogging," where you can write for literally hours without ever actually reaching a point.