THE COMMISH (CUBED)

David Stern... B

The Godfather deserves credit for coming out to the podium and answering some tough questions, as well as some not so tough questions (Rachel Nichols, ESPN, asking him how badly he feels? That's not a soup question, as Sean Connery once said). And, besides, he didn't really need to convene this press conference, or at least not so swiftly.
Then again, Stern is a very smart man. And he understood that the NBA needed to get out in front of this story, to defend the integrity of the league as a whole.
I'm not sure that I'm prepared to buy the theory that Tim Donaghy was a rogue ref who acted alone. I'm not saying that that isn't possible, I'm just arguing that it's too early to declare the rest of the league uncontaminated.
The question that I wish I'd asked, had I been there, was, "How exactly does the league go about hiring referees and will you review that system?" Four refs from the same high school (one of them Donaghy), all of whom were hired before their 31st birthday? More referees from the Philly area, such as Steve Javie and Bob Delaney, both of whom are veterans, and respected refs?
It is not that they are corrupt. It just appears that there actually is an old-boys network in place in terms of referee hiring. And that compromises the integrity of the league.
Stern is a master of media diplomacy, but he did slip up once yesterday. A reporter who prefaced his question by saying, "It's difficult to prove a negative" then asked Stern if he could be sure that there were no other referees or players involved in fixing games. Stern's response-- "I think I've just been asked when I stopped beating my wife"--was entirely inappropriate and way too reactionary to what was not an unjust question.
Then again, it would have been funny if the follow-up was, "Are you saying you beat your wife?"
Tim Donaghy, I fear, is only the beginning. Which is not to say that other refs are betting on or fixing games. But it is to say that the system in which referees are recruited, hired and graded has long been one that's been more about who you know as opposed to how good you are.

Bud Selig.... D-
First of all, Bob Costas and HBO's "Costas Now" deserve an "A" for the home run that they hit on Tuesday night. The interviews with Selig, with Patrick Arnold, who invented "the clear" and with Curt Schilling were all outstanding and compelling.
Selig sounds as if he's a decent human being, even though he's always reminded me of Al Pacino's "Mushmouth" character in Dick Tracy . But, as Goodell and Stern demonstrate weekly, being a decent human being in that job is not enough. You need to be a leader. And Selig is not.
First, that Selig was still wavering as to whether he'd witness Bonds's home-run quest in person as late as Sunday is shameful. We understand, Bud: You're a lifelong friend of Hank Aaron. That's not the issue. You've had months to make this decision. By your behavior you showed that you clearly wanted someone, or something, to make the decision for you. It almost looked as if you were hoping your appendix would burst just so that you could stay in the hospital all week. That would be your out.
Also, Selig is fooling himself if he does not realize that, as Schilling would later tell Costas, that "this will be known as the steroid era". Two of baseball's most hallowed records (single season homers and career homers) were shattered during Selig's watch and it could have been prevented, as Costas showed when he waved a copy of the 1995 Los Angeles Times piece in which Randy Smith (Padres GM) and Tony Gwynn both said steroids were prevalent.
Selig gave us interleague baseball, something I'd be in favor of if they reduced it to two series per year, max. And the wildcard is actually fun. But this will be known as the steroid era, just as 1861-1865 is known as the Civil War era, no matter what else occurred in this country at that time.
Kudos, too, to HBO for acting so swiftly. Costas interviewed Arnold, who was fascinating in his matter-of-factness--what a nice 43rd birthday present to give Barry Bonds-- on Saturday and spoke to Selig on Monday. And yet HBO turned it all around and aired the show by Tuesday night. Well done. And then there's Chris Rock, who reminded us that if Bonds' and McGwire's records were tainted, so were Babe Ruth's, since he never faced a black pitcher in the Major Leagues.
"Satchel Paige led the league in E.R.A. two years after he died," Rock told Costas.
Interesting note: Schilling, whether you like him or not, think he's a phony or not, made a great point. He told Costas that if someone had written a book on Costas detailing his adultery and his drug use, and that if it were false, how fast would it take Costas to sue the authors? And yet Bonds has never made a move to sue. Why not?


Finally, if you were to have given Barry Bonds a present for his birthday yesterday, a copy of Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray would not have been a bad call.

Flight of the Conchords
Their weakest episode yet this week, but it still made me chuckle somewhat. Murray's roll-call obsession at meetings is something I still haven' gotten sick of yet, for whatever reasone. Last week at work I met with my boss, the imperious Barry (!) and our college football guru, Ed Williams, in Barry's office. I took out a yellow notebook and said, "Barry? Present?" but he hasn't seen the show. Inside, though, I chuckled.

Emmy, Oh Me, Oh My

I'll cop to not watching that many network dramas. I have no clue whether "Heroes" is better than "Lost" is better than "Friday Night Lights" is better than "24", since I never really follow any of them. I followed "Studio 60" for a month or so until it became "Moonlighting", a will-they-or-won't-they, when-will-they? show. And I'm a huge fan of "Rescue Me". Regardless, none of that matters because The Sopranos is going to win the "Best Drama" category, anyway.

But as for "Best Comedy". I think the Emmys has some 'splainin' to do.

Here are the nominees: "30 Rock", "Entourage", "The Office", "Two And a Half Men", "Ugly Betty".

Here's what my five nominees would have been:

"Scrubs" (huge shocker to the Johntourage contingent, I know)
"Extras"
"30 Rock"
"How I Met Your Mother"
"Entourage"

And my winner? Hmmm. Tough one, but I'd go with "Extras".

Meanwhile, if Lauren Graham, whose "Gilmore Girls" got entirely shut out in the main categories in its final season, needs an escort to the Emmys in September, have her people phone my people. Oh, and for the record, I am my people.