The Surreal Life

Remember that show?

The one where all these former celebs are thrown into a house and videotaped as they completely self-destruct in front of all of us, who at some point in life, used to adore them (well maybe adore is overstating). It was entertaining at the least and beat out watching Real World (which is now way to predictable and boring and plain stupid). And until they make The Hills a year round show, I'll take the reruns of Surreal Life. (PS: Hills, LC, Heidi and that awful Spencer start it up for round three on August 13th! TIVO!).

Back to Surreal Life... The premise of getting cast on the show is:
You have to have been famous. (Child stars really have the advantage here.)
Your career got derailed by controversy. (Drugs, sex, crime, bad hair)
Currently, at best, you rank as a C-List star.
You posses that sad but true desire to do anything in front of the camera and consistently put yourself in bad situations that provide for dramatic and interesting television.
You have a temper, which equals fights with roommates, which leads to ridiculous storylines, which keeps us normal people laughing and more importantly watching, which makes the producers and TV company *very* happy. (Hey, everyone wins!)
And finally... People still have an interest in you.

So with all of these qualifications laid out, combined with the latest celebs making headlines in the past two weeks, don't you think the following list of names would be perfect for a new show?

Michael Vick-former NFL God, now Dogs Rights Activist?
Paris Hilton-she spent time in jail, she can do time in the house.
PacMan Jones-only allowed entry if entourage and guns are kept outside of house. Gotta play fair.
Lindsay Lohan-if she doesn't scream train wreck, I don't know what does.
Tim Donaghy-who will officiate all of the games played by the housemates and will surely swing the vote your way for just a small fee.
Britney Spears-easily the STAR of the show.

The sad part is I'm sure this list will grow. And grow. And grow.

I just don't understand how so many of these people can not just once but continuously make horrible decisions. So instead of sitting here and trying to make sense of it all, I say we just throw them all into a house and get some entertainment out of it! You can not tell me you wouldn't watch. Honestly.