ALTOONA FISHING

Greetings from Altoona, Pa., which is 45 miles south of State College and as close as my trusty colleague and all-around-invaluable NBCer Laura Harrington could find me a room. I don't want to say rooms are hard to come by this weekend for ND-Penn State, but I actually had to drive, leaving my apt., in the opposite direction from Penn State to find a hotel.

Friday afternoon. Sunny and hot. Driving on the two-lane highway that is State Route 64 here in Pa., blaring Eddie Vedder singing "The Long Road" on the America: A Tribute To Heroes CD as I pass by cornfields and verdant green hills. How much do you love college football!?! (no need to answer that). Tom Curran, you can have your trek through Lodi on en route to Giants Stadium ("must be pretty big if they named it that"). I love this game.

Stopped by Paternoville on Friday afternoon to check out the tent city. Felt as if I were at an REI clearance sale. There must have been nearly 100 tents pitched in the shadow of the southeastern (?) corner of Beaver Stadium. Off in the distance is Mount Nittany.

And just for your edification--I read the plaques-- it's called Beaver Stadium after James Beaver, a Civil War general, former Pa. governor, Penn State chancellor, and the man who helped get funds to launch a football program at State College in the late 19th century (back when JoePa had only been coaching for about ten or so years). And "Nittany" is a Native American word that means "single mountain". Now we both know.

Anyway, I waded through the student-campers clad in shirts with inscriptions such as "Rudy Was Offsides" until I found Brian Eller , a sharp-looking junior from Baltimore. Brian explained to me the entire camping out process. The idea is that you show up and there's a greaseboard with all the student sections at the front. You put in your name and the number of seats you and your friends want in a particular section, and then the Paternoville overseers tell you where to pitch your tent...so that there are lines for each desired section. On Saturday by 8 a.m. you must have the tent packed away and removed, and then it just becomes a matter of standing in line.

And when do they let you in?, I asked.

"Four p.m.," said Eller.

So after all this camping you'll still stand in line for eight hours to get the seat you want?

"That's right," he said.

Also chatted with Ross Beck, a Paternovillager who did not shake my hand because both of his were covered in chicken wing grease. "So they deliver to Paternoville?" I asked.

"Hooters did," Beck replied. "I called them up and said, 'I'm in Paternoville. I have no money. What can you give me?"

And whoever the very cool person at Hooters who took Beck's call said was, "We'll send you some chicken wings. Just pass out fliers for us."

I mean, really, ow much do you love this sport? If I could marry college football, I would. Some would say I long ago did.

Drove out of State College and my warped boss, Barry, phoned me to tell me about Hank "Henry" Hendricks , a back-up quarterback at the University of New Hampshire who was just arrested for murder. How bizarre is this story? First of all, Hendricks is from La Jolla, Calif. Who ever heard of a SoCal kid going to school at UNH? Then there's the aspect of Hendricks and a few others allegedly killing a pro surfer (back in La Jolla). Or that they're all allegedly part of a gang known as the "Bird Rock Bandits"? There are gangs in La Jolla? Geez, where did it all go wrong?

Next, I drove through the made-for-Hollywood mill town of Tyrone , Pa., which is nothing like Tyrone Willingham. At least I doubt it. I loved Tyrone because it looked exactly like the town where Stefen Djordjevic played his high school ball in "All The Right Moves" before Nickerson booted him off the team. And how, by the way, did Nickerson land that job at Minnesota State based on the way he coached this prep team in this movie? And where was Dauber?

Arrived in Altoona and as luck would have it the Notre Dame pep rally was taking place adjacent to my hotel. I'm always up for a good rally of pep, so I went. It was sponsored by the Notre Dame Club of Central Pa., I believe, and it featured the leprechaun (Matty Phipps, from Plano, Texas, I believe), the cheereleaders and select members of the marching band. Chuck Lennon, the ubiquitous and unsurpassed-in-passion N.D. alum who is a fixture at any rally of pep was there. Every school should have a Chuck Lennon. Or a John Lennon. Or a Liz Lemon, for that matter.
Anyway, the first alum who spoke (I'm guessing he was with the local alumni club) talked about how we could all be sure of a great performance by the band and a Notre Dame win. Then he backtracked and said that the latter may not happen. When you have a speaker at your own rally of pep conceding defeat, well, you might as well be on the Dennis Kucinich campaign trail (poor Kucinich...he's like the symbol of a feckless presidential candidate...what did he ever do to anyone? Mayb that's his problem).
The rally of pep also featured a cash bar, of which I availed myself. There's nothing like watching the cheerleaders perform the "Celtic Chant" uppercuts while you're downing a Vodka tonic. And even if there is, I suggest you try it.

Dinner: Well, you'd assume a college-over-NFL type such as myself would seek out a non-franchise restaurant over the architectural monotony of an Outback Steakhouse (although they have great food, I'll give them that) and so I did. If you're ever in Altoona (on holiday, say) hit the U.S. Hotel for dinner. The tavern there is awesome, too.

Actually, no fooling, Altoona is beautiful. At least in early September. The green hills and streams of south central Pa. inspire me to want to do nothing so much as go on a canoe trip with Jon Voight . I mean, if his daughter came along also and we all had Super-Soakers. How much fun would that be?

Ended the evening with a movie. Saw 3:10 To Yuma , a Western which I found very disturbing. Not because of the subject matter, nor because of the promiscuous gunplay. No, I found it disturbing because two of the principal characters bore eerie resemblances to good friends of mine who work at Sports Illustrated . Christian Bale, our hero who is channeling Robert Deniro in "Midnight Run" and Van Heflin in "Shane" (as well as Van Heflin in the original 1957 version of this very same film, whose character Bale is reprising), looks disturbingly like my wonderful friend Mark Beech (he's married, girls). And Ben Foster , who plays Russell Crowe's sidekick, looks an awful lot like my good buddy and poker pal Adam Duerson. In fact, I think their wardrobe is even the same.
For the record, if I had to pick one person in this film I most closely resemble, I'd go with Gretchen Mol.

Last word on this movie, or anything loosely associated with it. As a quasi-Arizona native, I notice that whenever I tell someone where I'm from, odds are the first thing they'll share with me is "I've been to Sedona!" or "I've gone out in Scottsdale!" No one ever says, "I've been through Yuma!" And with good reason.

Local note from Friday's Altoona Mirror : Former Penn State tight end Robert "R.J." Luke was ordered to pay $900,000 to fellow former Penn State student Jude Sandt. According to court documents, Luke and former linebacker Thurgood "T.C." Cosby (don't know what's up with the initials) punched Sandt and then threw him through a fraternity house window at Phi Kappa Psi fraternity house on July 29, 2001. Sandt's offense? He denied them entry to the party.

Judging from how they reacted, Sandt had good reason to do so. Luke, who later transferred to Western Illinois University, did not appear at the hearing and his whereabouts are unknown. But, seeing as how 110,000 fans are expected at tonight's game, there's a chance he might be here. And I'm sure Sandt, now a music teacher at Orefield Middle School in Allentown, would happily apportion some of the $900K that he has coming to him if anyone were to apprehend Mr. Luke today.
Where's Dan Evans when you really need him?

'80s Tribute Band for Which I've Come Up With A Name Even Though I Cannot Play An Instrument (just like Andrew Ridgeley):

Twisted Sister Christian Slater...And Zack

Today's Lineup

This Saturday and next are looking like, at least match-up wise, the two best days in college football this season. Here are the games I most cannot wait to see:

1. Oregon at Michigan....We all want to see how the Wolverines react, don't we? I think they'll win by 20.
2. Texas Christian at Texas....Are the Horned Frogs fu' real?
3. Boise State at Washington....As superlatively as the Broncoos have played the past five years, they are 0-12 against Pac-10 teams on the road all-time. This could be a huge win for Tyrone.
4. Virginia Tech at LSU....I actually think the Tigers will win this one going away. It's today's marquee matchup because of the rankings, but I doubt it will be the best game.
5. Miami at Oklahoma.... "I Love The '80s!"
6. Lenoir-Rhyne at Appalachian State...I had the Mountaineers No. 2 in my personal poll on Monday, three days before the AP came around to that way of thinking.
7. South Florida at Auburn....The Tiger offense looked less potent than Wade Wilson last Saturday night. This week's big upset?
8. Hawaii at La. Tech...As close as Colt Brennan will get to New York City this season until December, if'n you know what I'm a'sayin'.

Finally...it is impolitic to point out, but that's what blogs are for: I'm just wondering how African-American participants in tonight's game at Beaver Stadium feel about playing in a very rural area in front of a predominantly Caucasian crowd all of whom will be clad in white? Oh, like you hadn't considered that?