October 2007 Archives

HBO is airing Blood Diamond this month, which I never saw in "theatrical release".
It's a good flick, but now I cannot get that KISS song out of my head Then again, who would want to get a KISS song out of his head?

"Blood Diamond" can be heavy-handed at times (Jennifer Connelly, who has never eclipsed her perfromance in Roy Orbison's "Drive All Night" video, spews lines such as, "This whole continent is suffering, why should I help one person?....I can't believe I just said that."), but suddenly I don't feel as awful about never having bought an engagement ring.

As for the moral high ground aspect of the story, the characters draw the line from veritable slave laborers (who are black Africans) being made to mine diamonds to dreamy-eyed brides who want that huge rock on their fingers...and create the market for which these men are exploited. Which is true, but what about the bling-wearing rappers? There's a certain irony/tragedy to that aspect of the chain. Although I do like the line when Leo tells the strait-laced Connelly, "Back there (in the USA) it's bling-bling. Over here it's bling-bang."

And how come Leo DiCaprio has to die in so many films? Titanic was only the tip of the iceberg (forced chuckle time). There's also The Departed and now Blood Diamond. I can't remember now. Did they kill him off in Growing Pains ?

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Your mileage may vary, but I timed the final play of the "Mississippi Miracle" and it lasted 61 seconds according to my watch. So I was thinking. One of the first things you notice when you watch the 15-lateral masterpiece is that the Millsaps defenders seem to "quit" on the play. Before you come to that conclusion, you have to take into account the following:

1. A normal football play that begins from the line of scrimmage (as opposed to a punt or kickoff) lasts about five to seven seconds. That is, from the snap of the ball until the play is whistled dead.
2. Consider hockey substitions. A normal line shift in the NHL occurs after about 45 to 55 seconds. Those are professional athletes, highly conditioned studs. Not Division III football players.
3. The defense had already played 59:58 worth of a sixty-minute game. Granted, they weren't on the field that entire time, but chances are that the Majors' players were already gassed.
4. In the Cal-Stanford game that everyone cites, those were special teams guys on the field. They were fresher. Because this play started from the line of scrimmage, this was a starting defense (and, yes, offense) who, as noted above, were already tired.
5. Have you ever played a football game in full pads? If so, you know how much harder it is to run around in that equipment. Especially for 61 seconds. Go back just a few weeks ago, Vikings at Cowboys, when a Viking defensive lineman scooped up a Cowboy fumble and rumbled about sixty yards to paydirt. That took less than a dozen seconds, and yet they had to give him oxygen. A trainer ran to the end zone and poured cups of water on him to cool him down.
Granted, the Millsaps defenders did not sprint on a dead run for the entire play, but 61 seconds of keepaway, while in full football gear, is way beyond what players are expected to do.

So how come the Trinity players weren't gassed? First, they were. But secondly, they didn't all have to run. Only the guy with the ball ever really had to sprint. The rest of them just needed to jog close enough for the ballcarrier to pitch it to them.

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Latest can't-miss-entrepeneurial idea: A superhero-themed bowling alley named Lois Lanes . Each lane would be dedicated to a different superhero, for example. And the pins could be villains. We'll definitely have one of these built in itsnotaboutu.

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Finally, my favorite non-cable sitcom these days is How I Met Your Mother . A recent episode involved a character, Ted Mosby, having the same name as a porn star ("He's your doppelganger"..."He's my doppelbanger!"). Not only was it a hilarious conceit that allowed for a slew of cheap jokes throughout the 22 minutes, but it reminded me of a real-life situation. A friend of mine had his named by a fellow family member who was starring in a cinemax film but didn't want that film on his imdb.com resume. So he used the name of my friend (the actor's in-law). I'll probably get in some trouble if I reveal the name of the movie or the nom de porn, but I hope my friend saw this episode.

Here's a funny "Television Without Pity" recap. Enjoy it while I go in search of Welcome to the Sex Plane in my porn library.

http://televisionwithoutpity.com/portal/site/TelevisionWithoutPity/menuitem.766266d5c663f366b180b41045001d30/?vgnextoid=cfab8193f3fe5110VgnVCM1000006dc1d240RCRD&ShowName=How+I+Met+Your+Mother

Gregg, and rightfully so, has had the TV on the Red Sox celebration since 9 am.
It is now 2 pm.
In that time span, I've officially learned/seen the following:

Every highlight from Game 4.
Listened in on interviews with everyone from Terry F. to the Secretary of Catering for Fenway Park.
David Ortiz sporting the flashiest zip up of all time. Bling!
On that note, Ortiz's son, D'Angelo? Auh-dorable. That hair!
Footage of the team bus ride back into Boston.
Curt Schilling say he wants to come back to Boston for one more year.
Thousands and thousands of fans lining the streets of Boston cheering for their team.
Jonathon Pappelbon in a kilt. That's when my jaw dropped and I realized the NE is just a different group all together.

If you're near a TV, it's pretty cool to see. Lots of Bostonians called in 'sick' today. I'm talking masses of people with signs, jerseys all yelling and screaming.

Now imagine if the Patriots win...

Joe Torre may have been pushed out the door in New York, but it looks like his stint on the un-employed list won't be lasting for much longer. That is, if he wants it...

Rumors on the West Coast is that the LA Dodgers want him... bad. And if Joe goes, then its safe to expect that rejected Yankee-wannabe-skipper Don Mattingly might be right alongside him.

"This guy is like 70-years old, and he's overthrowing us."
-Greg Jennings on old man river Brett Favre

Denver took it into overtime, but the Packers took home the win. And Green Bay, my friends, was my Survivor Pick of the Week.

Nice.

Dear Diary,

I'm devastated. I thought he might not do it. I thought he was telling the truth when he said he loved me. He told me there was nowhere else he wanted to be. He promised me he was happy. He told me he wanted to stay. Liar!

I saw a future with us... many days and nights of happiness, joy and laughter. I wished for spring in Florida and long Octobers in the Bronx. Who else could give him that???? Who!

Ugh... but I was fooled. I believed him but should've known it was just a scam. A way of holding out hope, when all along he knew what he was going to do. He played me and he played me well. Even though he cheated on her, I never thought he'd do it to me.

I was wrong.

So fine, go to whoever is next. Take him. Give him all you've got. Support him, cheer him on and give all the benefit of the doubt. But when he sucks for you, don't say I didn't tell you so. When the leaves change and a chill is in the air, girl.. he won't perform. I'm telling you!

When it comes to relationships, there's only room for him.

"I've always said it: I love New York." - he says. Ha!

Four years and he walks out on me! Don't let the door hit you on that expensive ass on the way out.

I'll get over it,
New York, New York

Monday morning. Nothing really to get excited about unless...

You're a Red Sox fan. Listen, congrats on winning the Series. Yes, you should celebrate. Yes, you should wear your B hat and talk about it all day today. Has there ever been a city that has just dominated a season in EVERYTHING like Boston?

RED SOX - World Series in four
PATS - Brady, Moss, Undefeated, Unstoppable
BOSTON COLLEGE - Number 2 in BCS. Number 2!!
CELTICS (who knows what they'll wind up doing but it's not crazy to think it might be something special)

Just don't turn cocky. Cause everyone admires a champion, but people LOVE to hate domination.

The Chargers, Patriots and Saints are winning by a combined 83-3 in three of the five afternoon games. Parity's great, isn't it?

The Saints are going to make things interesting in the NFC South, it appears. Currently, the Panthers are 4-3 after their loss to the Colts and the Bucs are 4-3 and in a surprising dogfight with the Quinn Gray-led Jaguars. The Saints should be 3-4 at the end of today. That after an 0-4 start that had them near the bottom of the all-important Tom Curran power rankings.

And we say that sarcastically.

Tom Brady just ran a fake spike pass with 17 seconds left in the half from the Redskins 6 and hit Randy Moss on a lob pass. Moss initiated some contact with Redskins corner Leigh Torrence but there was no flag.

It was Moss' first catch of the game and it capped an 8 plays, 73 yards touchdown drive that too 1:32 to complete.

The score is now 24-0 at halftime.

Brady has thrown 29th touchdown passes, setting a new single season high. Randy Moss has 11 touchdown receptions. He's within one of the Patriots team record held by Stanley Morgan.

The Patriots just embarked on a torturous 14 play, 90-yard drive that ended with a three-yard Tom Brady plunge making it 7-0 New England with 3:48 left in the first quarter.

Too often it looked too easy.

Washington has now gone three-and-out (and were fortunate to get away with that as Asante Samuel just missed a pick-6 on third down).

New England used just two of its conventional defensive linemen -- defensive end Jarvis Green at nose tackle and defensive tackle Ty Warren -- on the third down play.

In the midst of the Patriots march from their own 10 to the doorstep of the Redskins end zone, Washington corner Carlos Rogers had his left leg fold up like a lounge chair while trying to make a tackle.

His return is questionable. For the season.

New England slowed a pretty good opening drive by the Redskins, aided by an apparent non-call. On second-and-10 it looked like linebacker Mike Vrabel brought Clinton Portis down with a horse collar tackle but no flag flew. That led to a third-and-10 for Washington that it failed to pick up when the pass to tight end Chris Cooley was broken up.

FOXBORO - Patriots tight end Benjamin Watson and Redskins corner Fred Smoot are both out of today's game. Also inactive for the Patriots are: safety Mel Mitchell, DB Eugene Wilson, RB Sammy Morris, LB Eric Alexander, T Wesley Britt, G Billy Yates and DL Kareem Brown.

The other Washington inactives are RB Rock Cartwright, DT Ryan Boschetti, OL Stephon Heyer, G Rick Demulling, G Randy Thomas and WR Reche Caldwell.

Indy is now up 24-7 in the third against the now David Carr-led Panthers. Vinny Testaverde went out a broken hip after falling down some stairs after halftime. I kid. But Carr is in and the game is being drained of any drama.

Now the Pats need to hold up their end of the bargain at home against Washington at 4:15.

Other than the Indy game and the Lions about to go up 20-7 over the Bears, the rest of the early games still have some doubt to them.

Including the one in Jolly Ol' where the Dolphins have "closed" to within 13-3.

Who am I kidding....that one's over with too.

Loyal reader Rock banged in curious about my leanings on the Bears-Minnesota game. It was an oversight during my earler post.

I like the Lions to get up 13-0 in that one before the Bears strike back to make it 13-7 late in the third.

After that, it gets fuzzy.

Even though they now trail 10-7, Carolina's been a pain in the posterior for the entire first half to the Colts.

The Panthers were up 7-3 on the Colts late in thefirst half and winning the field position battle decisively as they drew closer to ruining the GREATEST REGULAR SEASON GAME IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM!!

Indy had had about a half-dozen drops in the first half before Reggie Wayne hauled in a perfect pass from Peyton Manning to set up a 2-yard Joseph Addai touchdown.

Indy sat down left tackle Tony Ugoh, wide receiver Marvin Harrison and linebacker Freddie Keiaho today. Ugoh has a neck injury said to be a stinger. Harrison played last week against the Jagaurs but is down today.

Makes one wonder if the Colts opted to look ahead to their showdown with New England and rest these guys.

On the surface, it makes sense. The winner of next week's game could well be hosting the AFC Championship in late January.

Chances are excellent that Indy comes out of the break and batters Carolina but - for 30 minutes of play - the Panthers have helped give the Patriots a few things to look at heading into next week's showdown.

Has broken loose from his moorings and is RAMPAGING in London! Hide the snaggletoothed children!

Seriously, I'm not sure who crafts these ideas -- the same guy who thought up Whatzit! for the Atlanta Olympics -- but have you ever seen one of these promotional and said, "Wow, that really cuts to the heart of things."

My inclination is that, even with Giant Jason, the Dolphins would be in a bad way today against the Giants.

Other 1 p.m. inclinations...

* Tennessee 13, Oakland 10
* Giants 37, Miami 13
* St. Louis 24, Cleveland 23
* Indianapolis 30, Carolina 13
* Minnesota 23, Philadelphia 13
* Pittsburgh 44, Cincinnatti 21

Quickly, then...

--That Trinity-Millsaps play began with a pass over the middle and included 15 laterals. It lasted 46 seconds, which must make it the longest play in college football history by a factor of two.

--Someone has to Zapruder that footage. Were any of the laterals forward? One, by No. 50, certainly looked iffy. Were there no penalties on the play? An offensive play lasts 46 seconds without one hold?

--Finally, you may remember me scribbling about my friend Merry Miller a couple of months back. Well, it turns out Merry, whose infamous, "Boom! Goes the dynamite!" level interview with Holly Hunter made YouTube history, is taking Elizabeth Hasselback's cushion on "The View" while Mrs. H is on maternity leave. You can't make this stuff up.

Have you seen the final play from the Division III Trinity-Millsaps game yet? Unreal. It was one of those keep lateraling on the final play deals, a la Cal-Stanford. Except that it worked. Trinity lateraled, I believe, a dozen times. It was less an effort to score than a glorified game of keepaway, a battle of attrition. Millsaps, eventually, just was too exhausted to keep chasing. There were MIllsaps players walking during the play, half because they thought the game must be over and partly because they were just tongue-draggin' beat. Watch the play (and you'll surely see it a million times) and look for the Millsaps player near the very end of the play who gets blocked and by the way he falls, you think he's paralyzed. It's scary at first, but then you realize he fell that way because he was just that tired.

Is it the most amazing game-winning play ever? Not sure about that. But I'd like someone to investigate whether, in terms of seconds, it's the longest play in college history. I'd venture that it is.

ASU is up 31-20 and has the ball with less than six minutes remaining. Looks as if we're going to have a showdown game in Eugene next Saturday. ASU won this evening because 1) they have a terrific defense and 2) they can run the ball, at least against Cal.

Should be awesome in Autzen next week.

Goodnight, everybody.

The referees at the Cal-ASU game are using pink whistles to commemorate breast cancer awareness month. I've heard at least two commentators this month (but not tonight) refer to it as "breast awareness" month. Which is every month.

I'm trying to get involved, too. Typing with pink eye tonight.

ASU's freshman kicker Thomas Weber just nailed a 47-yarder to put the Devils up by four. Weber is 15-15 in field goals thus far in his collegiate career. That kid has no idea what it's really like to be a kicker. He should talk to Alexis Serna up at Oregon State.

ASU just intercepted Nate Longshore on the first play of the 4th quarter. It's way early, but ASU at Oregon could be the biggest game in the country next Saturday. Which is hilarious, because it's the same day as Southern Cal at California, which everyone (including me) assumed would be the Pac-10 game of the season. And here it's not even the Pac-10 game of the day....while ASU-Oregon will be more than just that. Wild. ( oops. Just noticed this: USC plays at Cal on November 10...big mistake on my part....sorry....j.w. )

Okay, I'm pooped. I'll send in one final entry near the end of the 4th quarter.

Boston just beat Colorado, 10-5, in the longest nine-inning game in World Series history. Four hours and nineteen minutes. Can they just count the final hour toward Game 4 tomorrow night? The series is over, anyway.

Meanwhile, a Cal player, quoted by Ted Robinson a few minutes ago, just explained why teams still play hard even after their own dream of a national championship has been vanquished: "Our stuff got messed up. So now we want to mess up someone else's stuff."

Have you seen Michael Clayton? If so, can you explain why Clayton (Cooney) stopped the car and approached the three horses atop the hill at dawn? Was that his Tony Soprano "I GET IT!" moment? Anyone? Beeler? Beeler?

That's right, I'm "Wide Awake In America".

Don't worry, I ain't leaving you until the Cal-ASU game ends. My man Ted Robinson is doing the play-by-play, and as they returned from halftime the director chose to show a highly zoomed photo of the full moon (or nearly full...what is that? Gibbous? Anyway....). And Ted failed to mention the obvious: that he's standing next to a "full Moon". Warren Moon. His partner in the booth, who would be full if he'd partaken of the halftime chow.

I've been writing too long today.

The Rockies are down 9-5 in the top of the ninth. They had two on, two out in the 8th with Matt Holliday up. Just what they wanted. But Holliday flied out just shy of the warning track to Manny Ramirez....when Manny steps up to the plate for his first at-bat tomorrow night, I do hope the Rockies' sound people play Joe Cocker's "You Can Leave Your Hat On."

Dimitri Nance just scored his third rushing touchdown of the evening for the Devils. ASU leads 21-20.

I'm listening to the Spoon on SNL. I like 'em and their blond Matthew Modine lead singer dude. Or is he the O-face guy? Which reminds me, shouldn't the student section at Oregon organize itself so that after each Duck score they all do a simultaneous "O Face"? Wouldn't that be cool?

It's ten minutes after midnight on Saturday and we still have three legitimate viewing options on television (without even having to resort to "Tommy Boy" on one of those HBO splinter channels). You've got your Cal-ASU game (it's 20-14 Bears at the half) on FSN, your World Series on Fox (6-5 BoSox in the 8th) and your SNL ("Weekend Update" up next).

Why go to sleep?

I haven't seen the show yet, but that chick on "Chuck" looks like what Christine Taylor would be if her mom hadn't smoked and drank coffee during her pregnancy. Like I'd know...

Once a fact-checker, always a fact-checker: On the "Weekend Update" (and this is a repeat, by the way), they just did a joke about Marion Jones. Behind Amy Pohler they showed a photo of Jones and beneath it, "steriods".

Loyal Johntourager Boyko just submitted a new blossary term: U-S-C-ya Season - When you are just past the halfway point in the college football season and you realize that your favorite team -- which was over-hyped from day one -- will not be playing in a decent bowl game.*

* (that is, unless they wear gold helmets)

Anyone reading this still attend Arizona State games? Does the ASU band still do the Budweiser theme song? That was always good times.

ASU, facing a 4th-and-1 on about the Cal 26, called timeout just as the ball was snapped to Rudy Carpenter. The T.O. came from Dennis Erickson. "Icing yourselves," the FSN announcer said. "I like it."

Exactly. The Devils overcame themselves, though, and it's now 20-14 after Dimitri Nance's second rushing TD of the night.

Meanwhile, Seth Rogen is hosting Saturday Night Live. Am I not cool if I don't think Andy Samberg is the coolest thing on SNL? I mean, there are so many other reasons I'm not cool, but is that just another one?

Tennessee wins in overtime. The SEC East is so (take your pick) average/competitive. Whoever goes to Atlanta from the East may have three losses.

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So I'm watching a skit on SNL at the moment. I've already been censored once this afternoon, so I'm not going to risk writing the name of the skit here...but it rhymes with "Nuke LaLoosh Bag". The irony here is that I could get censored on nbcsports.com for writing the title of a skit that's currently appearing on NBC...and I'm just guessing here, drawing more eyeballs.

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They just did "MacGruber" on SNL....MacGruber dies as often as Kenny, but I don't mind. Funny bit.

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Spoon. Feist. Those are this week's and next week's musical guests on SNL. I can't tell you one of their songs. So I'm an old fart. But I do know who Devendra Banhart is and I'm really hoping they have him square off against Skip Bayless on "First Take" next week.

Tennessee leads South Carolina 21-0 at the half.

The Gamecocks, having replaced their Smelley quarterback with Blake Mitchell, score 24 unanswered points.

Then the Vols kick a field goal late.

24-24 (you'd think this was on Fox). My favorite moment was Holly Rowe becoming officially involved in the overtime coin toss by holding the mic below the ref's mouth--like an altar boy holding the communion wafer plate, though they don't do that any more--as he explained the rules of overtime. I think she was wearing brown leather pants. Probably borrowed them from Erin Andrews....or Jack Arute.

Memories.

The Sun Devils are hosting Cal right now on Fox Sports Net (the other one; we apparently have two here in New York City). Not to be confused with Fox News Channel. Not to be confused with Fox Business Channel. Not to be confused with Fox, which at one time had a show starring Matthew Fox ("Party of Five") and another whose main character was named Fox Mulder.

Anyhoos... We moved from New Jersey to Tempe when I was eleven and my dad, to help my brother and I get acclimated, bought us season tickets to Arizona State games. The year was 1978. I'd never been to a college football game before. If I only knew then, the first time my brother Porge and I walked into Sun Devil Stadium, how many Saturdays I'd spend attending college football games. If my dad had only realized the colossal error of his ways....

So it's cool to see the Bears and Devils playing at night (as they always did when I was a kid) in Tempe. ASU, as they've done all season, has fallen behind in the first half. This time by 13 points. But they just scored a TD, so it' snow 13-7.

Everbody to Dos Gringos after the game! Margaritas are on my brother, Porge, if you can find him.

For those of you chalice half-full Notre Dame fans:

Navy lost to I-AA Delaware today, 59-52.

Air Force lost to New Mexico, 34-31.

Duke is losing to Florida State, 22-0.

And Stanford lost to Oregon State, 23-6.

Three of Notre Dame's four remaining opponents have less than winning records. The Middies are 4-4; the Falcons are 6-3 ; the Blue Devils are 1-7; and the Cardinal is 3-5.

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Malcolm Jenkins just picked off an ill-advised Anthony Morelli pass (can anyone develop mediocre quarterbacks better than Joe Paterno) and returned it for a TD. It's 34-10, Ohio State. I'm looking forwarder and forwarder to Ohio State-Michigan on November 17th.

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ABC just did a montage of people who are in JoePa's age range. Guys like Tony Bennett, Paul Newman, Hugh Hefner. And those dudes from the Geico ads.

It's actually 10:09 p.m. and do you realize that 40% of the nation's undefeated teams have yet to play today? Arizona State kicks off at home versus Cal in a few minutes. Hawaii kicks off in Honolulu (great concessions there, by the way) at 12:05 a.m. eastern. I spent Christmas eve at Aloha Stadium last year and it felt like a 4th of July game at Yankee Stadium. Wait, no it didn't, because it was rainy and cold here in NYC last July 4th.

Anyway...the other three unbeatens: Boston College won on Thursday night, Kansas is up 19-9 late in the 4th, and Ohio State just scored to go up 24-7 in the 3rd in Happy Valley.

Trend I'm getting REALLY TIRED of: Refs reviewing touchdown catches. It seems as if every other one gets reviewed these days. You know, nobody reviewed Matt Holliday's slide in the one-game playoff versus the San Diego Padres and the world seemed to keep spinning just fine. Even though Holliday never tagged home plate. Just like Julio Lugo should have been called out at second base in Game 7 against the Tribe (that was it, right? I'm too tired to review the details at the moment). Anyway, baseball has bang-bang calls, too, just like football. They get most of them right. Some--very few--they miss.

But at least the game keeps moving.

I tune in to watch football games. Not appeals processes. Let's stop litigating football games, folks. Let the players play and the refs ref, and if occasionally someone screws up, well, we'll live with it.

(Old cranky guy now stepping out of spotlight).

Hey, this McAnderson dude for Kansas is a rumblin', bumblin', stumblin' stud.

By the way, how about Mark Mangino? This has to be the most watched Kansas game in ages (they're on ESPN2, nationally televised) and Mangino is going with the black velour sweat jacket. It looks as if he borrowed his game outfit from Tony Montana's boss.

Remember those "Never" rules I mentioned earlier? Well, in the 3rd quarter of this Kansas-A&M game, an Aggie DB thought he picked up a fumble at about the Aggie 15 and, even though the whistle blew, he ran it back 85 yards all the way to the hizzouse. Then he just stood there, kind of like a petulant child, as if he stayed in the end zone long enough the refs would reverse the call.

The refs didn't. They started the game clock. And the DB couldn't get all the way back to the line of scrimmage fast enough, so A&M had to burn a timeout so they wouldn't get a penalty. Well, guess what? A&M lost 35 seconds in the final two minutes because they had no more timeouts. And they're only down 19-11.

If they had that timeout, they could have started this final drive with about 90 seconds left from their 20. Instead, they began it with 0:52 remaining.

Brent Musberger: Let me be straight with you here...I love the guy.

Frankly, I'm in awe of his longevity. Brent Musberger was the Bob Costas of the 1970s...then in the '80s he was the guy who got all the good NFL and NCAA hoops gigs...then he lost the cool CBS March Madness gig in the early 90s and it seemed as if the Montana man's career was on the wane...but no, he survived doing radio and college football broadcasts. Sure, every punk with a Facebook page mocked him from about 2000 to 2005, but now he's so old that he's become cool again.

And, best of all, he doesn't take himself too seriously.

Brent was just talking to Herbie, with the latter giving him props for being a trooper. Seems Brent was sick on Thursday night and Herbie was worried if he'd be able to "suit up" for tonight's Ohio State--Penn State game. And all Musberger said in reply was, "Nothing like drugs."

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I mean, can you believe Boston this weekend? The Pats are on the verge of being 8-0, halfway to a perfect season. Boston is on the verge of being up 3-0 in the World Series. Boston College is No. 2 in the nation and all of a sudden Matt Ryan is the favorite to win the Heisman. I'd vote for Dennis Dixon over him, but this is a case in which the East Coast bias will not be a myth. Eugene may be a beautiful place, but it's an outpost whereas Boston is one of those 365 days a year sports-addled cities. And too many people--especially in the media--have roots there. If B.C. keeps winning, it's going to be tough for Dixon to overcome him.

And I'd still give it to Tebow, by the way.

I just either saw Manny Ramirez or Sideshow Bow doff his helmet--again--trying to score from second base in Game 3 of the World Series. It looked as if Manny made a nice slide at home (did the hokey-pokey slide: "you put your arm in/you pull your arm out") but was called out anyway. My feeling? The ump called him out out of spite.

Anyway, what happens if Manny's habit becomes a trend? If football players start throwing their helmets off mid-play? Will this catch on?

Craig "I left ESPN for CBS ten years ago and Kirk Herbstreit totally owns that role now" James just said, "Hartford, Massachusetts." He's from Texas.

In all this football viewing, I hope you didn't miss the "Quill Book Awards". I believe my local NBC affiliate aired them at 7 p.m. Or maybe it was ABC. One of them. Anyway, nothing says glamour and glitz quite like authors walking the red carpet. " Why can't Helen Mirren write an autobiography already?

R. Kelly was locked in the closet.

J. Dub was locked out of the closet. Locked out of the apartment, actually, for awhile. Went for a run and forgot my keys. So I'm sorry for the lack of coverage for the past hour. While waiting to get inside, though, I did finish up the last 63 push-ups on a sidewalk on Riverside Drive. So you won't have to deal with that any more.

Okay, so, updates:

Tennessee is beating the Spurriers 21-0 at the half.

Florida State has just given up, like a middle-aged man who wears nothing but drawstring pants and a fanny pack. Have you seen them against Duke tonight (on ESPNU)? The 'noles are wearing all black unis with gold numbers.

Ohio State is up 17-7 on the JoePas and I have no idea how they've done it. But you probably do.

Kansas is up 10-0 in College Station. It's time to take the Jayhawks seriously, Mr. Corso. And how about Aqib Talib, playing both ways. The Aggies, at home, have already gone three-and-out six times this season. And they don't even wear gold helmets.

So how happy do you think Urban Meyer was about Georgia's first TD celebration earlier today, one that Mark Richt essentially ordered? There were nine more personal foul penalties after that TD by "What part of Knowshon don't you understand?" Moreno.

Good to be back.

Oh, yeah...3-0 Boston, top of the 3rd inning, two on, no out. When did Beantown sell its soul to the devil? Could we really begin Monday with the BoSox 8-0 in their last eight World Series games?

We were heading toward simultaneous "Alcoa Fantastic Finishes" in both Jacksonville and East Hartford, but Georgia just scored again to go up 42-30 on the MyT.TEbows (work it around on your tongue a bit).

187 ....damn you, Knowhson Moreno!

Meanwhile, UConn is up on South Florida 22-15 with four minutes left. Not that I care all that much. South Florida is a lot slower north of the Mason-Dixon line.

Huge play at the Rent: USF has 3rd-and-goal at the two and calls a naked bootleg. But when Matt Grothe comes out of his fake, two UConn defenders have his outside completely blocked off. They "stayed home", as we say. Grothe kept spinning and turning and lost ten yards.

Fourth-and-goal from the 12...and Grothe's pass sails out of bounds. UConn's going to beat a Top 25 team for the second week in a row. New England is going to have two teams in the Top 20 when Sunday's rankings come out. They're raising the roof on the covered bridges up there.

Knowshon Moreno is a MAN, by the way. And it looks like I picked the wrong day to emulate Herschel walker, by the way.

187

Meanwhile, back at the Cocktail Fest, things couldn't be worse for the Gators...UF is driving for a TD (they need two), but a shotgun snap comes up high and short in front of Tebow. He dives for it halfheartedly (that shoulder must kill), but Georgia's Danelle Ellerbee dives for it, too. Ellerbee not only recovers the errant snap, but slams into Tebow's right shoulder. I haven't seen a gladiator with a shoulder that bad since Maximus took that sword to his left shoulder in the assassination attempt. Anyway, Tebow was very slow to get up.

I'm wondering whether, with the Gators now at 5-3, if they'll even play Tebow next week against Vanderbilt. Hard to believe the Gators have lost three in a row.

I'm just seeing for the first time Georgia's "excessive celebration" penalty after their first TD. The entire team came out onto the field and ran to the end zone to celebrate. SO COOL. If you're going to get a 15-yard flag, you might as well get your money's worth. I'm guessing Mark Richt is going to get a severe phone call from SEC HQ on Monday, and I'm guessing he won't care.

But if Kentucky can get fined $50,000 for its fans storming the field after a win against LSU, can Georgia be fined for having its entire team storm the field? Stay tuned.

My upset special this week was Nebraska over Texas. Right now it's 21-17 Texas with about four minutes to play. I'm going to take an hour break and then catch you back for Kansas-Texas A&M, and then of course Ohio State-Penn State.

And we'll discuss if Dennis Dixon is the new Heisman frontrunner. Going to be hard for ManGod Tebow to win the Heisman as a sophomore with three losses. Maybe we just give it to Vince Young, as he's the most worthy runner-up in recent memory.

Texas just went up 28-17. It was a nice try, Huskers. You showed up today.

Tebow runs it in for a TD, and now UF is going for two. Incomplete pass....only my pecs are happy about that.

35-30, Dawgs, with 9:40 to play. We can all only hope that Tebow comes in at middle linebacker for after the break.

Do you realize you can be watching Tebow on CBS right now, then flip over to ESPNU and see Chris Long of Virginia? It's llike a chick magnet bonanza. College football by Oxygen. Meanwhile, the 7-1 Cavaliers are losing to 2-5 N.C. State early in the 3rd quarter...because they haven't played anyone (except UConn) yet .

That's a term merge (termerge?) above. Lara Boyko is a loyal Johntourager and CSTV writer who is mourning the loss of her alma mater, USC, moments earlier. Also, she possessed the insight to realize that my cat Mirk wasn't barfing because he was sick, but because as a fellow college football fan, he was trying to bond with me by mimicking Matt Ryan's Heisman pose of Thursday night. Good call, Boyko.

And then the second term is Mississippi State DB Co-Eric Riley, who unless he's a conjoined twin, someone's got some 'splainin' to do. Congrats to him and the resst of the Bulldogs for a big 31-14 upset win at Kentucky earlier today.

100

Florida just had a 4th-and-2 and didn't have Tim Tebow bulldoze through the Dawgs' front seven for the first down. He must not only be injured, he must be feeling George Gipp right about now. And so the Gators did not convert. The stud of the game thus far is UGA frosh Knowshon Moreno, who is no relation to Omar Moreno or Omar Epps.

TOUCHDOWN, GEORGIA!!!!

I've only been watching this game during USC-Oregon timeouts but it seems every time I've tuned in, Matthew Stafford has hit one of his wideouts for at least a 40-yard gain. This was a 50-plus yard TD, Georgia's second of the game.

35-24, Georgia, with eleven minutes to play. Someone take the kryptonite hip pads off Tebow so that he might unleash his robust fury.

135

I'm officially in Tebow-level pain right now. I can't even imagine how sore I'd be if i were blogging New Mexico State-Hawaii later on.

Did you just hear Vern Lundquist? While looking at a replay of a shot a ref took as Percy Harvin ran him over out of bounds, Vern said, "Boom...Goes the Dynamite!"

Vern, you are so YouTube. Well played!

Great catch over the middle by USC's Vidal Hazelton. He knew he was going to get drilled, but he stayed with it and USC got about a 17-yard gain out of it.

Now it's 3rd-and-7 with :33 left to play. Ball's at the Oregon 43. Sanchez dumps to McKnight, who passes the yellow line that he cannot see. First down, Southern Cal. McKnight is limping, but they don't have time to sub him out and they don't have time to shoot him. He'll just have to stay in the game.

Sanchez back to pass...INTERCEPTED!!!!! By Matthew Harper, his second pick of the second half. Game over.

USC's BCS bowl run is over, most likely. Blame three second-half turnovers. USC has every super-stud QB not named Jimmy Clausen (or playing for LSU) of the last four high school graduating classes on its roster, but it's not making a difference this month.

Still, give Pete Carrolll credit. Troy only lost by a TD, which means the Trojans still haven't lost by more than seven points in five-plus seasons. How many programs go two weeks without losing by more than seven, much less sixty-six games or so?

The sideline reporter for the SC-Oregon game just informed us that Senor Sanchez went up and down the bench pulling a "mea culpa" for his last interception, but that the wideouts didn't accept the apology. Instead, they scolded him.

Amazing stat: Pete Carroll has only lost 13 games since taking over at USC in 2001, and only once by more than a touchdown (27-16 to Notre Dame in '01). Well, the Trojans are down 24-10 with about nine minutes to play and the Ducks have the ball at midfield.

72 I'm going to have to start watching the N.C. State-Virginia game just so I won't pass out from the push-ups this afternoon. Too...little...pec power.

Southern Cal is seven minutes away from their run of five consecutive BCS bowl appearances ending. And the Trojans are 4-1 in those games, the lone loss coming with perhaps their best team, ironically, the 2005 Trojans. They were beaten in the Rose Bowl, you'll remember, by Texas.

Pete's pigskin powerhouse would be 5-2 with a loss today with games still remaining at Cal, at Arizona State and versus UCLA. The best they could hope for is the Holiday Bowl with a loss today. But they very well could be looking Emerald Bowl if they don't pick it up.

There's still six minutes left, though. But Senor Sanchez hasn't looked sharp at all today.

Don't you just love seeing eHarmony commercials during college football games? "He was just what I was looking for: a cholesterol-inhaling, beer-drinking, gamblin'-jonesin' fatass who spends his weekends watching other men sweat. Thank you, eHarmony!"

I can hear the Oregon students from here. It's an explosion of fun out in the Pacific Northwest. Have you ever been in Oregon on a sunny day like the one they're having. It's the best spot in the country on a day like this. And there are at least seven of them each year.

As I typed that Senor Sanchez attempted a pass to his backup tight end, Coy, and the Ducks' Matthew Harper picked it off. That's SC's second turnover of the 3rd quarter. I know there are a few rojans hurt, but isn't this supposed to be the most talented team ever? How come their offense has no rhythm to it? Wondering whether Pete Carroll will break the "in case of emergency" glass and replace Sanchez with Booty.

Oregon has just attempted its 37th bubble screen of the afternoon. Shelf that one for the rest of the day, Coach Bellotti.

Ohmigod! Jonathan Stewart just gained a first down on 3rd-and-14. The last ten yards were all effort, just shedding SC blockers and carrying at last two former five-star recruits the last three yards for a first down. And that's the end of the third quarter.

I'll go check out how QBMcDreamy is doing for Florida now... By the way, did you see Jesse Palmer interview Tebow earlier today on GameDay? It was as if Jesse wanted to ask, "Hey, Tim, were you out with Brandy last night?"

(that's a little inside joke just for me...thanks for indulging me).

I'm watching Florida's offense, I'm watching Oregon's offense, and I'm thinking, How much fun must it be to play in a spread option? If only Notre Dame had a quarterback who could run an offense like this....oh, yeah....never mind.

Wondering whether those Oregon play fakes are even more difficult for SC to pick up due to the Ducks' black jerseys.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand, touchdown DUCKS!

24-10, early in the 4th quarter.

So if I told you Kentucky was playing three straight home games in October against LSU, Florida and Mississippi State and would only win one, who would you have picked to be the victim? Exactly.

Kentucky is a great example of why you should NEVER get hot and bothered about a team's record or ranking at the end of September. The Wildcats entered Dane Cook Month 5-0, but they'll finish 6-3.

Southern Cal seemed to be gaining momentum (in fact, Barry Tompkins was mentioning how the game was slowing down, becoming a lumbering affair, the style favoring USC) when they fumbled. A few plays later Jonathan "The Daily Show" Stewart scored. 17-10, Ducks.

Back to my throw rug.

72

What is going on in East Hartford?

And by the way, what is the world coming to when ABC airs a 3:30 p.m. game from East Hartford???

Yet here are the Huskies just embarrassing South Florida late in the first half. It's 16-0 Huskies with three minutes before half.

Is it just me, by the way (short answer: Yes, Dubs), or do so many of these games seem to have no air today? The crowd at the Rent in E. Hartford are sitting on their hands as well. It's as if even college football fans need a bye week to get revved up for the final stretch in November.

The exception is USC-Oregon, where the Autzen crazies are as "into it' as Bret's gal, Sutton Foster. And what a great game. Already have seen three fourth down attempts, but I shudder that Pete Carroll wasted a timeout out at the 12-minute mark of the 3rd quarter. One of my cardinal "Never do that" rules ("Never burn a 2nd-half timeout before the 5-minute mark of the 4th quarter"), along with "Never use a prevent defense" and "Never pull a California stop while driving on Penn State's campus".

USC just tied it, 10-10.

Georgia just went up, 21-17.

Someone's pecs are about to be in pain.

By the way, our man G.A. is at the USF-UConn game. How about an in-game report, Mr. Auman?

According to allmusic.com, there is no band of note named Cat Vomit. There are Vomit Launch and Bloco Vomit, though. However, I really would love to have this sign hanging up in my apartment:

http://www.grackle.net/cat/vomit.html

Oregon just kicked a field goal before halftime. Who foresoothed a low-scoring game in Eugene? It's 10-3 Ducks, at the half.

24

Meanwhile, it's all Al Pacinio in the SEC today: "Dawg Day Afternoon". Mississippi State upset Kentucky in Lexington, pretty much ending Andre Woodson's Heisman hopes. Or at least severely endangering them. And Georgia is tied with Florida, who just intercepted a Matthew Stafford pass and ran it in untouched. As Neil Everett will no doubt say in about eight hours, "he has reservations...for six."

Great line.

Just discovered Minnesota-Michigan on ESPN Classic (one more reason to love college football....aimless channel surfing is rewarded). Golden Gophers are actually up 10-3 in the 2nd.

Speaking of aimless channel surfing, the best show title I came upon today was "Tool Belt Diva". I'll have watch that next week.

Best TV line I heard this week, and sure it was a repeat of a show that's no longer on-air, but hey, you know how I feel about Lorelai Gilmore.

It's Friday night dinner (a weekly rite) and Dame Gilmore (Lorelai's mom) opens a conversation by rhetorically asking, "You know what's funny?" and before she can continue, Lorelai quips, "Reno 911?"

If you want to hear the sound of 106,000 people not clapping (or making any noise), tune in to ESPN Classic right now.

14

Matthew Stafford just lofted a beautiful pass to Mohamed Massaquoi--whom I dearly hope will someday team with Michigan's Mario Manningham on some NFL roster-- for an 84-yard TD. And then Massaquoi did the gator chomp for a 15-yard penatlty. Worth it.

14-7, Dawgs.

Oh, and I'm only tuning in to USF- UConn for the punts.

DAVID BUEHLER'S DAY OFF

USC kicker David Buehler just kicked a field goal for the Trojans. Last week, from what one reader told me, our announcers kept pronouncing his name as if they were Ben Stein: "Buehler...Buehler...." The reader informed me that it's pronounced "Beeler", which is the way the Fox Sports dudes are saying it. One of them, Petros Papadakis, is a former Trojan player, so I'm going with Beeler.

JOHNNY DEPP CHART

"Blow" is playing on USA right now. One of Johnny Depp's better films. I always thought they should write a sequel to "Blow" in which Depp's drug runner is chased by Bruce Willis's John McClane from "Die Hard". Yes, the title would be "Blow Hard" , starring Depp, Bruce Willis and Dennis Franchione.

You can run your own little Heisman debate right now by flipping between CBS (Florida-Georgia) and Fox Sports Net. You've got Tim Tebow, who's shoulder must be banged up because I haven't seen him run the ball yet--though Percy Harvin has all-world smear-the-queer level moves. Meanwhile, Dennis Dixon of Oregon, playing the same position in the same offensive system (spread option) is definitely earnin' his self a flight to NYC. And he doesn't even have his own Times Square billboard.

I couldn't believe this stat when they posted it: Dixon had 12 TD passes and 14 INTs last year. This year he has 16 TD passes and three interceptions. From 12:14 to 16:3. And Barry Tompkins just told us that Dixon did not throw one interception in all of spring practice. Is he kidding? You mean, even when he was just playing catch with the 7th-string QB and some wiseass cornerback snuck in and picked one off for giggles? Not one?

Sure, that's cool, but Tim Tebow brushes his teeth with lightning bolts.

In honor of Herschel Walker, the best college running back of the past thirty years (in my mind), I'm going to try and do 250 push-ups during this Saturday blogathon. Herschel once told Sports Illustrated, when he was still at Georgia, that he did not lift weights but rather just did 250 push-ups every day while watching TV.

So when you read numbers in italics, that's my push-up total.

How will I break down those 250, you ask? I'm going to act like a student section fan. Whenever someone scores, I'll do as many push-ups as they have points. I may reach 250 by the end of this USC-Oregon game. This one's so good I don't even feel as if I'm missing anything by not watching Elvis-in-a-helmet at the World's Largest Cocktail Party.

Oregon cheerleaders: Hottest in the nation. Discuss.

West Virginia is finishing a spanking of Rutgers. The Black-is-the-new-Scarlet Knights never got the axes out of the tool shed this afternoon. Brad Nessler just named Max McGee as his "Performer of the Week". Nessler mentioned how the recently deceased McGee was hung over when he played in Super Bowl I, where he was named the game's MVP. McGee was a loveable rascal, and it was a different time, but I'm curious how it would be covered these days if, say, Marvin Harrison had played in last year's Super Bowl with a hangover. E-60 would be all over that stuff.

Mark D'Antonio is smart. The MSU coach did nothing but hand off to Ringer and Caulcrick on MSU's first drive of overtime, and the Spartans scored. Iowa ties it up on a 2nd-and-20.

Pam Ward has the weekend off. I'm hoping she's sending anonymous comments in to Hugh II: The Nedessy Continues" on deadspin.com.

Paul Maguire, on Rutgers-WVU, is ripping the Va. Tech D-coordinator for the Hokies having gone in to a prevent defense against BC on Thursday night. My right arm is shaking, because I realize I'm completely agreeing with Paul Maguire. Do you realize the Hokies only rushed three down lineman on Matt Ryan's game-winning pass? A lot of good those eight Hokies in pass coverage did.

Kinda strange that Doug Flutie was calling that game, wasn't it?

My Fox Sports NY is not showing "USC-Oregon", but rather some show called "Sport Science". I am not happy. I feel like my cat all of a sudden.

Iowa just went up 34-27 in the second overtime.

Just found the USC-Oregon game....whew. It's on the other Fox Sports Net. Ohhhhh.

Michigan State, 4th-and-13. And if they don't convert it, good luck getting bowl-eligible versus Michigan next week. Spartans complete pass, but waaaaaaaay short.

Iowa wins! And Michigan State is now 5-4 with games against the Wolverines, at Purdue and the JoePas. Gonna be tough for MSU to do better than 6-6.

(flipping)

Dennis Dixon--and whenever I say his name, I think of the band Styx (I'm sorry, I do)-- just scored on a great play fake. 7-0, Ducks. Autzen Stadium in Eugene is a place you must visit before dying. It's not huge or anything, but it's so eco-friendly. There's a river that runs alongside it, with bike and running paths, and they even have a bike corral if you want to pedal up to the game (which is cool, but makes tail-gating that much more difficult).

Do you realize that if Cameron Colvin doesn't fumble out of the end zone in the final moments against Cal that the Ducks would probably be ranked No. 1? And can we talk about how many exciting offenses (Oregon, Florida, LSU, Illinois) are running the spread option this year?

Joe McKnight (No. 4 to Reggie Bush's No. 5, but they do look a lot alike) just scored on a 60-yard TD run, but the Trojans have been called for holding. Poor USC. Last week they play a team with green jerseys as they do this week, but the difference in speed is night and day.

Oregon just sacked Senor Sanchez to end the first quarter. 7-0, Ducks.

I have to admit: I'm not spending too much time flipping to Howard-Norfolk State on ESPNU.

I'm back...

Good game going on in Iowa City. Michigan State is down by 3 with four minutes left to play. Tight end Kellen Davis has just caught two consecutive passes as the Spartans attempt to mount a game-winning drive. Great TE name, Kellen Davis. You've got maybe the best NFL tight end of all time's first name, and you've got this year's best college tight end's last name (Fred Davis, USC).

MSU has plenty of time, but they're passing on every down. Even though they've got Javon Ringer and Jehuu Caulcrick in their backfield. MSU punts. Their gunner could have downed it at the 3, but he was in bad position. So that was about a 25-yard punt for the Spartans.

(flipping)

Pitt and Louisville are tied at 17 with 3:25 to play. If you're surprised that the Panthers are tied up with the Cards at Louisville, you should know that Dave Wannstache is seated in the press box.

(flipping)

Back to MSU-Iowa. Looks like a perfect day in Cornutopia. Spartans are mounting their "No, this time we mean it" game-winning drive with just over a minute to play and no timeouts. And suddenly it's 4th-and-1 for the Spartans. This is almost 4th-and-bowl eligibility on the line....

Great catch on a slant-in by Mark Dell. First down, MSU.

Michigan State is now at midfield with just over 40 seconds and....my cat just puked! Ohhhh, this is an unexpected development!!! Problems I never have to deal with in South Bend. I think he got into some ranch dressing. Somewhere Charlie Weis is saying, "If I read about a cat puking again, I'm going to vomit."

OH MY GOD!!! MSU, after suffering a sack and facing 3rd-and-16 at about the 45, completes 40 yard pass down to the 15 along the left sideline. Brian Hoyer to Devin Thomas. Great pass, terrific catch.

Does Michigan State kick the FG right away or let the clock run down to one second and throw a corner route into the end zone? It worked for Les Miles. Or does Mark D'Antonio put Cal QB Kevin Riley into the game and order him to run for it and stay inbounds???

0:13 left. Third-and-ten from about the 16. MSU's gonna run another play. Lucky. Five-yard pass, and the receiver juuuuust got outta bounds to save it for the Spartans.

Michigan State kicks the FG and we're going to overtime. Good. This gives me a little time to clean up the cat vomit. Cat vomit. There's gotta be a punk band with that name.

Noon o'clock high and here are the games available to this non-TiVo, all-Tebow college football fan:

ABC: West Virginia @ Rutgers
ESPNU: Pitt @ Louisville
ESPN2: Michigan State @ Iowa...where Tom Arnold is doing the intros. Has anyone ever done more with less in life? Okay, yes, if you answered Paul Johnson at Navy, give yourself a hand.
Fox Sports NY-- Monmouth College @ Central Connecticut (I'll keep you up to date on all this, obviously)

Elsewhere, TBS is airing The Upside Of Anger , in which a 50ish Joan Allen is ten times hotter--and sixteen times less annoying--than any of her four daughters, (although, technically, I don't recognize Evan Rachel Wood, since she's a minor and Chris Hanson is a huge fan of this blog....riiiiiiiiight). Coincidentally, TV Land is airing a documentary entitled "The Upside Of Unger", which I'd rather watch, anyway. "Shut up, Felix?"

There's a lot of football today, extending all the way past 1 a.m. (Cal @ ASU), so I may use these early non-Top 10 hours to sweep out the barn and feed the livestock. But I'll be back shortly before the 3 p.m. kickoff of Southern Cal-Oregon (how come the closer this game approaches, the more I like the Trojans?).

In the meantime, if anyone DVR'ed College Gameday and can tell me how many family members Keegan Herring lost while he was doing the interview with Tom Rinaldi, I'd really appreciate it (yes, I'm going to hell).

Please, people, put alliteration in its place.

I'm watching College Gameday and I'd have made an entry earlier, but I'm still attempting to tabulate how many of Keegan Herring's loved ones have died in the past year. Listen, I feel for the Arizona State RB, but we've all seen so many of these Tom Rinaldi/Chris Connelly sepia-toned segments that I believe we could produce them ourselves. After the fourth death was mentioned (what, nobody died in the '05 tsunami?) I began to wonder if this was a a parody feature.

Listen up, Lincoln: Herbie announced that Nebraska has "zero-percent chance" of beating the Longhorns in Austin this afternoon. And he's not usually given to such emphatic statements. That's Corso territory.

There's a dude holding a sign behind the Gameday set that reads "CALL ME 201-461-3807". So, if you're bored this afternoon.... (It may have been 301, by the way)

Desmond Howard asked Ohio State QB Todd "Arsenio" Boeckman how come he's not getting more Heisman love. Guessing DH is at last off the DeSean Jackson bandwagon.

Mark Sanchez looks a little like Matt Leinart, no?

Thinking that even if neither team finishes with a winning record, Tennessee should meet Florida State in an Underachievers Bowl. Steve Spurrier's head--an image of it, not his literal noggin'-- could adorn midfield.

I travel a lot. Which is to say too much. Far too much, at least by plane. This morning I was listening to CNBC's Erin Brunette (clad in black leather, me-OW!) and Mark Haines grill an executive from U.S. Airways. Erin cited the "unpleasant" experience that air travel has become, and I completely agree with her. But I don't solely blame the airlines for this.

I blame us.

There's no better place to witness the selfishness and self-absorption of the American adult than at airports and in planes. The other morning, while waiting to pass through a security line at the American Airlines terminal at O'Hare, I almost lost it. I just wanted to shout at the passenger who decided that he needed to cut in front of anyone to catch his flight (there should be a TV show solely devoted to following these nimrods after they pass through security to investigate whether or not it was just a ploy to cut the line) the following:

"It's not about you!"

That's when the epiphany came to me. I want to start a new nation. And you, as a Johntourager, will be invited to come. The name of our new country will also be our credo:

itsnotaboutu

Or, "itsnotaboutu.gov". Not sure if I want to make it that 21st-century, though. What'll itsnotaboutu be all about, dubs?, you ask. Well, let me tell you.

In itsnotaboutu, you don't get rewarded for being late for your flight by cutting ahead of all the people who were responsible enough to get there on time. It's not that we have no compassion in itsnotaboutu. It's just that we don't reward irresponsibility.

But we still want you to catch your flight. So, as a citizen of itsnotaboutu, here's your options: You can either wait in line like the rest of us, or you can pay a $20 fee (which will go to the itsnotaboutu general fund) to cut in line. And that $20 cannot be charged to your company and it's not tax-refundable. That's your loss. If you don't want to pay $20, you wait. And maybe next time you'll show up on time. Because we don't see why you'd be motivated to show up on time now, in the USA (a.k.a. "itsalllaboutme"), when you know you can arrive late and still cut to the front.

What else does itsnotaboutu have to offer? Well, we make it a penalty, punishable by death (or worse, punishable by extreme pain), to pull out your cellphone and announce to a loved one, "We just landed" while you are still on the plane.

You just landed. WHO CARES!?!?! We all survived quite well for about 95 years after Orville & Wilbur's inaugural flight without announcing our successful landing to a loved one that we'd landed seconds after touching down. You can't wait until you get in the terminal?

In fact, every prospective citizen of itsnotaboutu will be required to watch the scene from the recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which Larry, in response to the Bluetooth baboon dining next to him, starts speaking out loud to no one in particular (we've dreamt of doing that for years!). As Larry--whose face will go on any type of Rushmore-ian edifice in itsnotaboutu-- insightfully points out to the dipwad who complains that he's having an actual conversation as opposed to Larry's ramblings, "What's the difference? The level of annoyance is the same."

Yes. Yes! YES!

The dream is still alive, people. If you've ever sat in an airport, or in a car behind someone talking on their cell as they drive ten m.p.h. too slowly in the left lane, or waited for someone to pay for Altoids with a credit card, and felt a little like Bill Murray in Lost In Translation when he confides to Scarlett Johansson, "Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break", then you should apply for citizenship to itsnotaboutu.

There's still time.

(Mardy) Fish gotta serve/ (Larry) Bird's gotta score,
I found a website/that won't make you snore,
Can't help readin' that Steve o' mine

At the risk of sounding like Bailey Quarters informing the rest of the 'KRP gang, "Hey, did you see the new blonde receptionist we hired?", I must let you know that there's a new must-read out there:

http://steverushin.com/

I was going to begin this entry by writing, "Fish gotta swim/Birds gotta fly, and Steve Rushin has to opine", but 1) it doesn't rhyme and 2) it's far too prosaic a line ever to be associated with the former Sports Illustrated senior writer.

Two days ago I learned of the existence of my friend's site, which makes perfect sense. To know Steve Rushin is to know that he cannot go an entire day without having a refreshing and caustically funny opinion--he's more Larry David than Jerry Seinfeld--so most of us who know him were wondering how he'd survive as a forty-one year-old retiree.

Now we know. Steve, who left SI last winter and has done some fine freelance work for Time and other magazines in the interim, has now launched his own site. This new forum ("Air and Cyberspace"? or "Educated-in-Wisconsin-Steven's Points"?) is perfect for someone whose mind races at a far greater speed than 800 words per week.

All it lacks, as opposed to most of the sites on my "Favorites" list, is a "Photo Gallery" where I can download and purchase pictures.

And I feel as if I've lost G.A. for good.

And by the way, let's pause a moment to reflect on one more aspect of the subtle genius of WKRP in Cincinnati . As in real life, especially in any work place overpopulated with beta males (such as a radio station, or a magazine or newspaper), it was Bailey whom all the guys were buddies with. Jennifer was bodacious, but she wasn't real. Only the Herb Tarleks of any corporate world would ever hit on a Jennifer, because they figure if they're going to ruin their lives it might as well be with a blow-up doll. The single guys go for the cool girl they can hang out with, not the swimsuit poster gal.

The 'KRP writers got this, which is why Andy Travis and Johnny Fever were always hanging out with Bailey, while the married dudes (Mr. Carlson, Herb) had the most scenes with Jennifer.
I'd be the Les Nessman ("WKRP, where we play more rock, and Les Nessman") in that scenario, by the way.

That was the best T-shirt I spotted on campus this weekend.

So much to discuss: Larry "What's the difference? The level of annoyance is the same!" David's wisdom, Michael Floyd, the god-awful article on Charlize Theron in "Esquire", the new country I'm starting, Jon Saraceno just not getting it, the "Two Loud Stews", Suzanne Somers' flammable homes, why you should have listened to me on Apple, why I should have listened to me on Apple, Kevin Everett's increasingly unbelievable recovery rate, urinating on bars, and the Flintstone Geico ad, for starters.

Bu no time now. Later.

In the meantime, even though Notre Dame's season is two-thirds over, this feels as if it's the midpoint. Maybe it's the bye week. Or fall break. Or the fact that the causes-me-to-tremble eight-game stretch is done and the four imminently winnable games are all that remain.

Anyway, here's some midseason mentions.

First, here was my list of "ten most important players" on the Irish that ran prior to the Georgia Tech game:

1. Geoff Price
2. Mo Crum
3. Evmetrius Claupley
4. Trevor Laws
5. John Sullivan
6. Tom Zbikowski
7. John Carlson
8. Travis Thomas
9. Paul Duncan
10. Darrin Walls

Here's a revised list of the top 13 (my apologies to Darrin Walls, who probably deserves a place somewhere in here, but where?)

1. Maurice Crum: Almost single-handedly responsible for team's only victory

2. Evan Sharpley: Where would Irish be if he had transferred?

3. Trevor Laws: Team's leading tackler, even though offenses run away from his side

4. David Bruton: Special teams stud is also team's 3rd-leading tackler

5. Pat Kuntz: Leads nation's DL's in passes batted down

6. Geoff Price: Has already surpassed last year's punt total (50)

7. John Carlson: Leads team in receptions with 26

8. Joe Brockington: Gets little notice for being team's leading solo tackler

9. Tom Zbikowski: No. 9 at No. 9; boxer's KO of Ben Olson led way to win at UCLA

10. Robby Parris: Most pleasant surprise of season? No. 2 in catches despite just two starts

11. Armando Aldridge: Team's two-headed starting tailback is learning the hard way

12. Jimmy Clausen: Brady Quinn's freshman year was no bed of roses, either.

13. Golden Tate: Lone deep threat has great hands, too.

MVP: Whoever is in charge of recruiting

Best Moment: UCLA win

Lowest Moment: Just one? The signature moment would probably be USC WR Vidal Hazelton's 48-yard TD reception through the Keystone Kops secondary on Saturday.

Reason To Believe: 75% of the scoring has been done by freshmen or sophomores

2nd Reason To Believe: Four of the studliest players on defense: Bruton, Kuntz and Darrin Walls will be back next season; and chances are high that Mo Crum will take a fifth season and return

3rd Reason To Believe: Michael Floyd headlining what may just be the nation's top recruiting class

Most Disturbing Trend: Failing to score in the first half

Second Most Disturbing Trend: Transfers

Quote of the Year: "Enjoy it now."

Just up from the locker rooms where the Colts were just punching out and snapping towels after another win and the Jags were appropriately downtrodden and somber after a 29-7 loss.

Maurice Jones-Drew said X-rays on his left leg taken after he got dinged in the closing minutes were negative.

JACK DEL RIO

"We made far too many mistakes tonight to win that ballgame. We let them out of some holes, we turned the ball over three times. We had a chance at the outset of the second half with them, we got some life, we got the crowd back into it. Then we ended up taking a sack there and turned the ball over a couple of times after that."

(On David Garrard and his injured ankle)
It's one of those deals where we'll know more tomorrow when we see how it responds. He has a pretty good sprain on there so I would think in all likelihood, he'll be missing some time. He tweaked it pretty good. "

BACKUP QB QUINN GRAY (9 for 24 for 56 yards with 2 sacks and 2 picks)
"(Indy) had five down in the box to chill our run game and make us pass the ball. I had some errant throws that got away from me and cost the interceptions."

COLTS QUARTERBACK PEYTON MANNING (23 for 37 for 259 yards, 1 TD, 1 pick)
"Our defense was probably the biggest difference from last year. They got us the ball back. We were able to get the lead and the defense did a great job of stopping their running game and preventing some of those great runs they had last year."

REGGIE WAYNE (9 catches, 131 yards) ON ATTENTION BEING PAID TO PATRIOTS
"It's perfect. It's less talk that we have to hear. In the past we always hear about the opportunity for the Colts to go 16-0 and everybody is in our locker room. Now we get a chance to just play football and not worry about that kind of talk."

Maurice Jones-Drew just got his left knee jammed (apparently) and limped off the field with 55 seconds left.

This, of course, will invite numbskulls who will wonder why Drew was in there in an unwinnable game, etc., etc. Send those numbskulls my way. What are they gonna do, put in the scrubs and stop playing every time a game is secured? Kneel down when the game is out of reach.

Shaddup.

And Dallas Clark scores from 35 yards away to make it 29-7 and let whatever remaining air out of the Jags that was still milling around.

Overall, it wasn't that bad a showing by the Jaguars who hung around through most of the third quarter but the safety allowed by Khalif Barnes made it 19-7 and then things got out of control.

But 17-0 at halftime and 22-7 in the fourth isn't anything to be breaking out the sheetcake for.

So former Jag Tony Boselli is now in the press box in the front row along with a blonde I presume to be Mrs. Tony Boselli. They - like many in the press box here - are vocal about their vested interest in the home team.

The fun part is, the Bosellis (I presume) are seated directly in front of Bill Polian whose own press box intensity meter runs high. Real high.

Damn. A pick ends things quietly and we go without fireworks.

We put the over-under on this one being dead at 30 minutes. That was 35 minutes ago. Quinn Gray just threw a pick hauled in by Kelvin Hayden at the Colts 21 with 10:48 left to take the remaining air out of this one.

It's 22-7.

So far, Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor have combined for 87 yards which is a tad off the pace for 375, the total they ran for the last time these teams met.

And Dwight Freeney gets Quinn Gray for a safety and it's 19-7 late in the third with the Jags driving again. The Jacksonville left tackle got absolutely abused by Freeney on a straight speed rush after Hunter Smith pinned the Jags at their 9.

That's a momentum killer.

Tony Ugoh is out at left tackle for the Colts and Charlie Johnson is in.

So Jacksonville punches it in to start the half on a sporty 10 play, 40 yard drive punctuated by MJD.

The over-under on how long in real time before this game is salted away?

30 minutes.

David Garrard won't return in the second half with his sprained left ankle so Quinn Gray gets the ball now. MJ Drew just returned the second half kickoff to the Indy 40...a glimmer of hope perhaps?

Indy settles for an Adam Vinatieri field goal and it's 17-0 Colts. Given that Jack Del Rio went for it on fourth-and-1 from his own side of the field and gave it back to the Colts and Manning with two minutes left, 17-0 isn't so bad.

Colts media relations man Craig Kelley says that Tony Dungy's teams are 66-1 between Tampa Bay and Indianapolis when holding a lead of 14 points or more.

Playing a team like the Colts, you need to extend the game as long as you can. They just went for it on fourth-and-1 from their own 48 and didn't get it thanks to Bob Sanders who is personally blowing the Jags offensive game plan.

So now the Colts are in Jags territory just before halftime and they just grabbed a facemask on second-and-15 and the Colts now have first-and-10 on the Jags 43.

So they're staring at 21-0 at halftime.

Oh, and they didn't bother to cover Reggie Wayne on the last drive and that didn't work out real well either.

David Garrard went to the sidelines with a knee injury after getting sacked by Ed Johnson. Raheim Brock forced the sack with a spin move flushing him into Johnson. Garrard has an ankle sprain it was just announced and is being "retaped". Meanwhile, Quinn Gray came in and got picked off by Bob Sanders on his second attempt and the Colts could be about to devour.

The Colts just capped an 11-play, 66-yard drive with a three-yard touchdown run by Kenton Keith. Charles Robinson, esteemed Yahoo scribe to my left, thinks that Joseph Addai hurt his hand on the 23-yarder that got the Colts down to the 12.

Nice catch and run by Addai on a third-and-14. He got 15 and a small and homespun contingent of the Jacksonville media got its panties bunched with a "You can't let him run that far!" declaration.

I love when media types take it personal.

Rashean Mathis just got turnstiled by Reggie Wayne on a simple go pattern on third-and-an inch. Wayne dropped it when he got clocked by Reggie Nelson but Joe Addai got 23 on the next snap and the Colts are at the Jags 12.

Garrard did a nice job taking what the defense gave him on the Jags second drive and a Fred Taylor run for 16 got them into Indy territory but they bogged down and a pass to a well-covered George Wrightster fell incomplete on fourth down and Indy takes over in pretty nice field position at their own 35.

Jacksonville forced a three-and-out on Indy's second possession highlighted by a quick-snap stuffing of Joseph Addai on third down by Mike Peterson on a third-and-3. Jax ball at their own 25.

The Jags got 10 on their first play but then Garrard threw late go Greg Estandia and he got virtually destroyed by Kelvin Hayden. Garrard nearly got picked on his third attempt by Bob Sanders. He's got to make quicker decisions. Figure he'll settle in after a series or two.

Colts take over at their 32.

Indy opened with a 16-yard completion to Reggie Wayne, bogged down a bit (Manning nearly got picked) then got themselves into a third-and-1o that Aaron Moorehead dropped and made Manning make the gasface. Punt.

Jacksonville takes over at its 9. Nice roll for Hunter Smith who seemed to go with a different drop on that one to get side spin instead of getting it to turn over.

We're ready to go. The Jags have an annoying looking, sunglasses wearing yellow cat for a mascot that I suppose is supposed to summon visions of a Jaguar. It looks more like Top Cat.

Anyway, he came swinging in on a guy wire with sparklers going off in his pants leaving a trail of fire.

He had the Mexican too.

Colts win 24-13.

The current topic...Are the Colts being overlooked?

Given that ESPN is generally in charge of genuflecting at the Altar of Manning every 27 minutes or so, they are the only ones who can answer that question.

When the Patriots were winning Super Bowls in 2001, 2003 and 2004 in utilitarian fashion and ESPN was tripping over its collective tongue because Peyton Manning was throwing 49 touchdown passes for a team that eventually got its head caved in during the playoffs, there wasn't much worry about whether or not the Pats were being overlooked.

The truth on this matter is, New England's in the midst of an historic season. The team is on pace to score 638 points, the quarterback is on pace to throw for 64 touchdowns they are winning by an average of 17 points per game and they've so far outscored the Rams, Niners and Bills COMBINED.

ESPN's just going through Manning withdrawal.

The inactives for tonight's game have been released.

For the Jags...kicker Josh Scobee, wide receiver Matt Jones, running back LaBrandon Toefield, corner Aaron Glenn, linebacker Pat Thomas, defensive end Brent Hawkins, tackle Richard Collier, guard Uche Nwaneri.

For the Colts, receiver Craphonso Thorpe, defensive back Michael Coe, running back Clifton Dawson, linebacker Victor Worsley, guard Dylan Gandy, defensive end Jeff Charleston and defensive tackle Dan Klecko.

Tyjuan Hagler starts at strongside linebacker tonight in place of Rocky Boiman.

The 49ers re-signed Hannibal Navies today and waived fullback Zak Keasey. The 6-3, 245-pound Naviesis a linebacker who's been with them for parts of the past two seasons. The loss of Manny Lawson for the season to a knee injury and other injuries to the depleted Niners defense forced the move.

When there's a chocolate fountain in the press box. And there is tonight here at Jacksonville Municipal We Can't Find Anyone To Waste Money on Naming Rights Stadium.

This fountain is about four feet tall and it drizzles chocolate in a neverending stream over itself kind of in a potter's wheel motion and you're supposed to lance little cubes of marshmallow or peanut butter and, well, drizzle them with chocolate. For your culinary pleasure.

Chuck Bednarik would love it.

JACKSONVILLE - We're about 90 minutes away from game time here and don't yet have the inactives but the understanding is that, for the Colts both Marvin Harrison and Bob Sanders will be on the field tonight.

It rained a good chunk of the day here in Northern Florida but it's cleared some now and the temperature's in the mid-80s even with the sun down.

Watching the two teams warm up, it doesn't seem their footing is at all affected by today's rains.

We'll check in as game time approaches with the inactives and other observations.

It's not a Patriots game these days if someone's not worrying about the big cheaters from the Northeast trampling feelings.

Today, there was some question about why the Patriots re-inserted Tom Brady in the fourth quarter after Brady's backup, Matt Cassel, had his third pass picked off and returned for a touchdown by Jason Taylor.

When ESPN's Sal Paolantonio asked Patriots head coach Bill Belichick about it, Belichick said, "I did it because of the score (42-21 with 10:30 left in the game)."

Sal Pal noted the score and Belichick said, "Yeah, one more turnover and then it's a 14-point game in the middle of the fourth quarter. I was at the game."

Continuing, Belichick said, "Look, we’ve all seen games, I mean the Tampa-Indianapolis game a couple of years ago when (the Colts erased a 21-point deficit in the closing minutes to win on a Monday night), so don't tell me about leads in this league. Until the final gun goes off, it's not a win."

Dolphins running back Ronnie Brown has a knee injury and is done for the day.

And the Dolphins are still getting killed. It remains 42-7.

Ronnie Brown, injured during a runback of a Cleo Lemon interception, appears to be OK. He just walked off the field after being down for about two minutes.

Cleo Lemon just got picked off in the end zone by Randall Gay and, during the ensuing runback, the only reason to watch the Dolphins at this moment, running back Ronnie Brown, got hurt.

He's still down. We'll update that.

And they want the Dolphins removed from the card.

Not sure the folks in Jolly Old are getting the very best entertainment product the NFL can offer when the Dolphins head to London next month for their game against the Giants.

Fortunately for the NF of L, the game was a sellout a long time ago.

Wes Welker just caught another Brady touchdown pass, his fifth of the half, to put New England on top 42-7 as halftime approaches.

Brady is 16 of 19 for 291 yards in the first half without a pick.

It was just announced in the press box that Dolphin Justin Peele is "ill" and will not return to the game.

We'll pass on the opportunity to make pithy remarks about the Dolphins team in general being sickly.

Ok, Brady just flung another one up for Moss on third-and-18 from midfield and Moss made the catch betweeen Renaldo Hill and Cameron Worrell, again just taking the ball away from both men.

Brady's now 11 for 11 for 220 yards and four touchdowns.

Tom Brady just threw one up for grabs from the Miami 35 that Randy Moss went up and plucked off the hands of Dolphins safety Cameon Worrell for another New England touchdown.

Brady is currently 10 for 10 for 170 yards and three touchdowns and it won't be long before the scrubs are in.

The Dolphins had a nice drive that ended with a well-designed Cleo Lemon quarterback sneak for a touchdown but the Dolphins had barely stopped grinning when Willie Andrews returned the ensuing kickoff 77 yards for a touchdown to make it 21-7.

The Patriots are up 14-0 after a 2-yard touchdown pass from Tom Brady to tight end Kyle Brady.

Brady (Tom) now has 23 touchdown passes. He had 24 all of last season. And he's got just two interceptions.

On his first attempt at attempting a pass Cleo Lemon bumped into his tight end David Martin and dropped the football. It was fallen upon by Patriots defensive end Ty Warren at the Miami 28. Not a promising start.

Donte Stallworth just scored a 30-yard touchdown on a crossing pattern. Stallwort was hemmed in by both Dolphins safeties on the play but shrugged off one hit and spun away from another to score.

It was a 9 play, 80 yard drive.

My boss just pointed something out. Dolphins kicker Jay Feely was wearing gloves on the opening kickoff. Not sure how that helps.

We have a guy with jersey No. 72 and the name on the back is....

Undefeated.

Annnnd, there's a Csonka jersey. I'm looking for the knucklehead in the Yepremian jersey.

When you see more throwback jerseys than active jerseys worn by the partisans.

We've got several Marino jerseys within eyeshot right now and earlier say a Clayton a Duper and....a Jim Kiick.

Seriously.

We got four Dolphins fans wearing paper bags out here today.

Not very friendly to the environment, fellas. No plastic?

Anyway, it's a reflection of just how far this franchise has fallen as they enter today's game at 0-6 and sold off their best wide receiver, Chris Chambers, earlier this week for a second-round pick.

DAVIE, Florida - OK, we're in South Florida where the Patriots are going to try and open up their AFC East lead over the Dolphins to seven games. Why, why, why are we here? So that we can gather in the Colts and Jaguars tomorrow night in Jacksonville and kill the proverbial two birds with just one stone.

From all indications, Patriots running back Laurence Maroney is going to start for the Patriots after missing the last three games with a groin injury. Sammy Morris and Ben Watson are among the inactives for New England.

Vonnie Holliday is among the inactives for the Dolphins.

I dunno where the members of the Class of '77 disappeared to. Maybe they've gone to suit up for the 4th quarter to give their old classmate a lesson in character.

Bu they're not in their field-level seats in the north end zone any longer.

Meanwhile, just for curiosity's sake, USC should take the snap and run backward to its own five yard-line, then fumble. Give the Irish first-and-goal at the five yard-line, and let's see if they score. What's the percentages of them:

--scoring a TD? (25%)
--scoring a field goal? (60%)
--moving backward? (70%)
--turning it over (33%)

There's no drama left in the outcome of this game. Frankly, I'm getting a little tired of attending football games this season where the second half is just a matter of protocol. I'm sure I'm not the only person in Notre Dame Stadium who feels that way.

Notre Dame's four worst losses to Southern Cal, in terms of deficit, were by 31 points. And if you're an Irish follower, you remember them all. There was the epic flash-flood, second-half meltdown at SC in '74 in which ND gave up seven unanswered second-half touchdowns.

Final score: USC 55, ND 24

There were the trio of back-to-back-to-back 31-point losses when Ty Willingham was the coach from 2002-2004: Those scores: 44-13, 45-14, and 41-10.

Right now, with 7:30 remaining in the 3rd quarter, it's USC 31, Notre Dame 0.

This team, as a colleague just said to me, "is unwatchable."

And so the back-and-forth question of the 2007 season is again broached. Where do you draw the line between rebuilding and reprehhensible?

Ohio State is in a rebuilding year; the Buckeyes lost both their Heisman Trophy-winning QB and their most productive offensive player. And yet Ohio State is ranked No. 1 in the nation. It would be unfair to say that the Irish were as deep as the Buckeyes, but does that explain the utter lack of competence this offense has shown this year? I don't think so.

Scooter Livingstone, the Pac-Man Jones of Notre Dame Irish Guard alums, writes in to inquire about the current Irish Guard. Scooter, tell them all about the Drambui tradition in your next comment.

Here's your Irish Guard news flash, though, Scooter: For whatever reason there's a Guard member missing. They only have nine out there. One of the Guard is a female, by the way. Not the first one they've ever had, by the way (and that's no knock on you, Scooter).

With Southern Cal defenders playing thirty yards beyond the line of scrimmage in the last 30 seconds of the first half, the Irish threw three consecutive sideline passes. In some ways, why not? There's no one covering ND's wideouts, so why not pick up a few yards? On the other hand, there's a bitter irony to the fact that those were Notre Dame's only first downs of the second quarter.

We're getting into Mad Libs territory with the '07 Irish. The story's the same nearly every Saturday; all that changes are the names of the heroes and villains. Notre Dame's defense comes out fired up and making plays, but the offense just cannot keep to its part of the bargain. Eventually, a dispirited and worn out defense starts yielding ground. Throw in a dash of special teams miscues and our recipe is complete.

The halftime scores of Notre Dame games, fall '07:

Georgia Tech 16, ND 0
Penn St. 14, ND 7
Michigan 31, ND 0
Michigan St. 17, ND 14
Purdue 23, ND 0
UCLA 6, ND 3
Boston College 13, ND 0
USC 17, ND 0

The combined first-half score? Opponent 137, Notre Dame 24.

Of those 24 points, 17 were gifts from the defense. Seven were an interception for a TD (Darrin Walls vs. Penn State), and the other ten were fumble recoveries that gave the Irish the ball within the ten yard-line twice.

Today's depressing halftime statistic: USC is averaging better than five yards per carry. Notre Dame's longest run, excluding a nine-yard gain in which Sharpley was flushed from the pocket and ran for his life for nine yards, is five yards.

And here comes the second half....and is that, yes, Rollie Fingers is now starting at QB for the Irish. Must be the Oakland A's unis.

--I ran into Lori Nelson, the director of the USC Song Girls (reason No. 27 that it's great to be alive) before the game. Lori was a Song Girl herself--in fact, her first visit to Notre Dame Stadium was as a Song Girl during the '77 game that is being commemorated in so many ways today. Anyway, what with being a former Song Girl and having two daughters who are Song Girls--both engaged to former Trojan athletes--Lori's quite connected at Heritage Hall. She told me that the USC players, coaches and retinue are still a little shaken by their thrill ride into South Bend on Thursday evening.

"I was talking to Glenna Carroll, Pete's wife, earlier this morning," Lori said. "She still has a pit in her stomach today."

--Mark Sanchez is the QB for the Trojans today. Remember the good old days when two of the names in that previous sentence did not cause tittering among seventeen year-olds?

--SC has usurped Notre Dame's offensive game plan. The Trojans, outside of one belly dive by fullback Stanley Havili that went for ten yards, have been feckless running the ball. Joe McKnight, a.k.a., "Captain Cutback", has lost three yards on two carries. But SC can pass on the Irish.

--Notre Dame just committed its first major bumble of the game. The SC punt fell short, and hit upback Munir Prince (It's nice to see him finally touching the ball, though) before Zibby could warn him away from it. As fumbles seem to go this year, it bounced away from any Irish player and into the arms of a Trojan. One play-a beautiful flag route parabola to Fred Davis over Zibby--and three seconds later USC had a 7-0 lead.

Anyway, about Lori Nelson...she was a Song Girl on that day in 1977 when a hulking, handsome and gifted tight end caught her eye. Except that he played for the Irish. His name was Ken MacAfee, and he was an All-American for those Irish. It was mutual. You might say that a tight end caught Ken's eye as well.

Months later, they met in person. And then dated for quite awhile. And then both went their separate ways in life. And today they're both here and it was kinda cool, knowing that story, to watch as Lori approached Ken and greeted him before the game. It woulda been cooler if they'd smooched, of course, but I'm not Nicholas Sparks.

--David Bruton blocked and recovered a USC punt, only to have Notre Dame's field goal attempt blocked three plays later. That's the kind of year it's been.

--Clay Matthews blocked the field goal for SoCal. Furthering our retro theme, his dad/namesake was a senior on the '77 team for the Trojans. And a tough NFL linebacker who seemed to play for the Cleveland Browns for a thousand years.

--Something to think about...that '77 USC team lost 49-19 here in South Bend to the Irish. The '78 and '79 Trojans won all or parts of two national titles and were as loaded as any team in college football history: Ronnie Lott, Matthews, Jack Del Rio, Dennis Thurman, Charles White, etc. They were just a little young in '77.

--Pat Kuntz has already knocked down two passes in the first half. He entered the game leading the nation in batted down passes among defensive linemen, with seven. Doing the addition, now he has nine.

--If you're looking for silver linings...Right now the Irish defense has only given up one TD in the past ten quarters in which the opposing team's drive began on the far side of midfield. Today's TD drive began at the Irish 10; the Irish have allowed five TDs total in the last ten quarters.

--If you're looking for dark clouds....it looks as if the Irish are about to have their sixth first half of the season without an offensive touchdown. That's in eight games.

--USC just shelved my silver lining anecdote. That's the second off. TD of more than 50 yards in the last ten quarters versus the Irish.

The most sublimiest of sublime afternoons here in South Bend...

--Spotted on the sidelines pre-game: Hannah Storm, Tim Brown, Joe Theismann, Bob Golic, Ken MacAfee, Rudy and a lot of ugly mustard-yellow pants.

--It's even a sublime feel here in the press box, where I am in the near proximity of excellent friends and journalists Teddy Greenstein (Chicago Tribune), Lara Boyko (L.A. to fellow Johntouragers) of CSTV.com, and Notre Dame Observer managing editor Ken "I'm Not Chris" Fowler, who's basically G.A. 2.0. No, I take that back. Nobody could ever replace G.A.

--Fowler and I are wondering, moments before the Irish emerge from the tunnel, if the entire '77 green jerseys ploy is a ruse within a ruse. That is, what if the Irish warm up in the '77 national championship jerseys but then return to the field in championship jerseys from another era? "How about the sweater jerseys from the 1924 undefeated team?"

See, he's got a little G.A. in him.

--Notre Dame won the coint toss and elected to defer. That, according to Mr. Fowler, is the first time that the Irish have done that since Charlie "We want as many offensive series as possible" Weis took the job (he didn't actually say that, but you get my gist).

--Joe McKnight, Southern Cal's precociously talented kick returner/tailback, also plays gunner on USC's punt team. McKnight normally wears No. 4, as does safety Kevin Ellison. Because Ellison is on the punt team, too, McKnight has to slip on a "40" jersey for those plays.

--ND's starting wideouts were Golden Tate and Duval Kamara. I'm not sure if Tate played any downs last week on offense, though he did return kicks.

--McKnight, now wearing, No. 4, is deep to receive the punt. Doesn't call fair catch. Hit by Bruton. Fumbles. But SC recovers. McKnight needs to learn that "semi-fair catch" move that the U Conn punt returner flashed last night. Very tricky.

--Southern Cal in the house: The Trojans get 7,000 tickets. Visiting teams usually get 5,000, but that's all part of the special relationship between these two schools.

--USC's opening drive: Did you notice that SoCal's first pass was a slant-in to the left, exactly like the 4th-and-9 pass of two years earlier? Except that this time ND's mohawked noseguard, Pat Kuntz, batted it down. Where were you two years ago, Pat?

--So, Southern Cal landed safely, even after being shaken down by the thunder. Perhaps the Irish are feeling empathetic, because they've shorn the tall savannah that is the turf inside Notre Dame Stadium. That's correct: the grass is is fairway-heighth this afternoon. Coach Weis, at the pep rally last night, explained why it was not eight inches high this year (as opposed to 2005): "I don't want to hear any excuses."

Never mind that USC did (cough, cough) win anyway in '05 and that the tall grass was, well, gamesmanship taken to its extreme.

It is a PERFECT day here in South Bend. At last, autumn's crispness is in the air. There's not a cloud in the sky. I cannot remember a day here being this perfect for football since the last time USC visited. Or the time before that, '03, which was also a sublime football afternoon.

It's 10:47 a.m., and I'm already inside the stadium. I've brought along two helpers this week, my nieces Jamie (15) and Kristen (13) Walters. I may have them do a blog entry or two, for a refreshing change of pace, added wit, and because I'm lazy. Expect some astute analysis this afternoon from them.

A few leftovers and observations:

-- Ross Browner spoke at the pep rally last night. The former Outland and Lombardi Trophy winner still looks as if he'd be the most dominant player on the Irish defense if he suited up today. He told a story about how at the time of his recruitment, he and Gary Jeter were the two most coveted prep players in the nation. I was seated on the fringe of the student section as he told the story, and because Browner said Jeter's named so quickly (Jeter became an All-American offensive lineman at USC and a longtime NFL player as well), a few students looked at each other goofily, asking, "Derek Jeter was a football player?"

And then, because college kids are smart-asses and know-it-alls (I certainly was/am), they started mocking him. As if Browner were the idiot. When really it was their ignorance. It was a landmark moment for me, as a forty-one year-old at the crossroads of youth and senescence. Because I realized that a lot of being older is just having young people not get your jokes or references, but they're too self-absorbed to realize they don't know everything yet (now I sound like the "You kids get off my porch!" curmudgeon, I know).

There was another moment when Charlie Weis was discussing his former classmates, the 1977 national championship team, 45 of whom (including Browner) were in attendance. Weis referenced the Notre Dame Library, but then mentioned there was another library back then where a lot of the gridders hung out. And this one punk near me said, too loud for it to be just to his friends, "That's because they were nerds."

But what the punk/undergrad didn't realize was that "The Library" was the name of a popular watering hole back then. And it hit me: Geez, this student who's not even a football player, cheering for a team that won't come within a light year of playing for the national championship, is giving grief to a bunch of fifty year-olds who DID win a naitonal championship. A bunch of guys who carved up USC 49-19 and then just filleted Earl Campbell, who was one of the most worthy Heisman winners in the award's history, and undefeated, No. 1 Texas in their own backyard that year in the Cotton Bowl, 38-10. I mean, they beat up Campbell, who was only the most punishing running back since Jim Brown, so badly that in the 4th quarter he actually said after being tackled, "Okay, I've had enough."

And here's this sniveling student saying, "That's because they were nerds."

And, oh man, did I have an epiphany. I realized that I just wanted to apologize for every sophmoric thing I'd ever said or written (up to, and including, last week). But I also wanted to learn. I didn't want to be that kid, and was sorry if I ever were the brazen punk who didn't know what he was talking about--and by opening my mouth, let everyone know it. But, now that I'm old(er), I don't want to be the old coot who rebukes an enthusiastic college kid for every dumb thing/act he does. Not to his face, at least. I'll just smile to myself and realize that some day he'll come to the same realization I have.

--Meanwhile, there's this very popular cheer that has been evolving the last few seasons at ND. It involves hand-gestures and a cool back-and-forth between the male and female students ("I wanna hear it!" "Gooooo Irish!", etc.). It's funny and charming--the first or second time around--and a little bit lewd, in a subtle way that makes the college kids wink at one another as if to say, "Our parents don't get it" (how do you think you got on this planet?). But the latest wrinkle, well, it's a little out of bounds for ND students.

After the men say, "Beat Trojans!", the ladies say, "Suck it, Trojans!" (or whoever you're playing). I don't want to sound like a prudish Felix Unger ("Shut up, Felix?"), but that was a little surprising to hear at the midnight drum circle last night.

---Man, do I sound like an old fart. I must be an old fart. It's like I'm "Chip" and the rest of you are Ricky Bobby's sons, beating me down with your verbal abuse. And maybe I deserve it. Thanks for being patient with all that.

--Final observation before I take my nieces on the $3 tour of the Notre Dame campus. And this is for all the playoff proponents. Twice in the past week I've heard/read college football experts, whom I greatly respect, say/write something that seems utterly paradoxical.

In his Power Rankings earlier this week, Stewart Mandel , whose book "Bowls, Polls and Tattered Souls" is excellent and a must-read for the college football fan, had Oregon ranked ahead of Cal. Even though the Golden Bears beat Cal. Meanwhile, on "College GameDay" earlier this morning, Lee Corso said flat-out that "Florida is a better football team than LSU." Even though the Tigers beat the Gators and Corso saw it in person (as did I and Stewart).

Now, strange as it sounds, I'm not disputing Stewart or Lee. I understand what they're saying here and why. And, come on, if Notre Dame happens to upset Southern Cal this afternoon, will anyone believe that the 2-6 Irish are the better team than the 5-2 Trojans would be?

Stewart, Lee and I are subjectively governing each team's body of work and our perceptions of just how good they are. For example, even though the Gators have two losses, I think they're as good as any team in the country.

But here's the rub: If two teams can play head-to-head and, even after the outcome, there's a dispute as to who's better--when in fact some of the most avid and experienced observers pick the team who lost as the better team--then how does the whole "I just want them to settle it on the field" argument work? Can someone explain that to me.

Just returned from the Friday night Notre Dame pep rally, from where more than a few "Evan Sharpley!" chants emanated. Or Evanated.

In fact, about half a dozen male students to my right were donning lime-green T-shirts that had a face shot of Sharpley, most likely taken on the second day of his freshman year, and the word "EVAN!!!" on the front. Meanwhile, three female students to my right were sporting ND blue T-shirts that had homemade messages on them:

1. "ZIBBY: OUR KIDS WOULD BE HOT!"
2. "JIMMY STOLE MY BIKE"
3. "BRADY WAS HOTTER"

Sharpley, the newest starting QB at ND, was looking spiffy as he sat in the front row of the folding chairs amongst his teammates. The Sharpley Dressed Man was styling in a black suit with black shirt, white tie and matching white shoes. It's as if every formal occasion (pep rally, post-game press conference) is an opportunity for Sharpley to pay tribute to a different Joe Jackson album cover.

*****************************************

Missed opportunity: I wrote a story earlier today that included some details about Southern Cal's treacherous and turbulent flight into South Bend on Thursday night, and yet at no point did I make a "shake down the thunder" allusion. I'm sorry. G. A. must be ashamed of me.

On the other hand, as someone who flies (far too) often, I commiserate with the Troy boys. I'm just glad they're okay. Anyone who's ever been on a flight that is, well, Rockne-esque, understand how terrifiying that feeling is. I think it's the utter lack of control. At least a car accident is quick and, if you're behind the wheel, your last moments can be spent slamming on the brake. Even if it's a fruitless endeavor, at least you feel as if you're affecting the outcome. Being a passenger on a bumpy flight is a completely helpless feeling.

Wait. Being a passenger on a smooth flight is a completely helpless feeling, too. Me, I prefer trains. You never have to circle Union Station because of bad weather.

SPELLING TORRE

The Joe Torre debacle is one of those situations that, seen in hindsight, is so easily understood. The Yankees should have just offered him his old salary for two-three years with a "Thanks for getting us to the playoffs a dozen years in a row", or cut him loose. It's like breaking up with your girlfriend by asking if you can see each other just once a week and if she'll go dutch on every other meal (which I may have done once...I mean, that metaphor came way too easily for me). Yeah, what do you think she'll say?

Times Change

Tennessee-Alabama, Miami-Florida State and USC-Notre Dame. All this weekend. And almost nobody (outside the schools' fans) cares. Wow. The big games this weekend are Kentucky-Florida, Texas Tech-Missouri and South Florida-Rutgers (past tense). By the way, I just looked at the TV and Jim Leavitt was yelling at that poor No. 22 on his team again. Man, did that kid take a lot of hollerin'. The last time I saw one person jaw at another that much on a Thursday night, Frank Costanza was involved.

Pep Rally Perceptions

It's his sense of humor, and you cannot tell a man who's spent half a century on this earth to change, but Charlie Weis's sarcasm doesn't work so well at pep rallies. Weis was speaking to the packed house at the J.A.C.C. this evening, many of them fans who've waited a lifetime to experience a Notre Dame football weekend. Referring to the fact that Notre Dame is down right now, he said that "we might not even show up tomorrow. Why bother? I'll have the team take a vote when we get to the hotel tonight."

That joke may work with your buddies. But that's not the right humor for that environment. Chuck Lennon, the sixty-ish alum who speaks at the start of each pep rally (and is the director of the ND alumni association) strikes the right tone. He's sincere, he's passionate and sure, he's rah-rah, but that's what a pep rally is about.

************************

Rece, Mark and Lou are discussing the five unbeatens that are left and who will be the last to fall. To review, those five are:

Ohio State
Boston College
Arizona State
Hawaii
Kansas

The question was, Which team will be the last to remain undefeated?

May Day: "Hawaii...because they don't play anybody"
Holtz the Magnificent: "Ohio State...because they're the best team"
J-Dub: "Ohio State....because they don't play anybody before Nov. 17th AND they're the best team."

Boston College? They'll go the West Virginia/South Florida route and lose in prime-time on the road on a weeknight at a ranked opponent.

Arizona State? The Sun Devils will lose at least three games before they go bowling, starting with Cal's visit to Tempe on Oct. 27th.

Hawaii? The Warriors are going down Friday, Nov. 16th in Reno. Or the following Friday, at home, versus Boise State. They're just not that good.
Kansas? I'd like to think the Jayhawks will beat Colorado in Boulder tomorrow. Texas Tech will be an intriguing game if they get past the Buffs. If the Rockchalks win these two, look out. They could be 10-0 when Missouri visits Lawrence on Nov. 24th. KU is legit, people. No one's talking about it, yet, but how would you keep them out of the BCS championship game if they beat Mizzou and then Oklahoma (most likely) in the Big 12 championship game? You couldn't, could you?

All that said, the only team of the five unbeatens that I believe is a legitimate top five team is Ohio State. The four best teams beyond the Buckeyes are, in my mind, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida and Cal. Oregon and Kentucky are nipping at the Golden Bears' heels.

While waiting out a flight delay at Laguardia Airport in Queens....

Wondering whether I should wander into the men's room and attempt to have myself arrested for "disorderly conduct". Already have my defense planned" Was asking if he could spare a square."

**********************

The New York Yankees were eliminated from the baseball postseason ten days ago, but they're every bit as newsworthy today as they were two weeks ago. And more newsworthy, here in NYC, than anyone else still doing the "Theresonlyoneoctober" tango.

As a Yankee fan, and more importantly, as a counter-intuitivist, I cannot help but think that if the Pinstripes lose A-Rod that it will ultimately be better for them. Let's face it: The Yankees have had A-Rod for four years and have never made the World Series with him. Granted, who knows if they would have made the playoffs this year without him, and he's about to win his second MVP in three seasons. This isn't an anti-A-Rod screed, much as you may believe it to be.

But how much more valuable would a quality No. 1 or No. 2 pitcher be to the Yankees than A-Rod has been in the postseason? And something tells me that this team, that only won four World Series in five years without having a slugger along the likes of A-Rod (or Giambi) would do just fine spending just $20 million of the $30 million they'd save by not retaining A-Rod on someone else. Or some two (or three) else.

I was watching ESPN's "Baseball Tonight" a couple nights ago and I wondered, "What's Charlie from The West Wing doing on this show? Then I realized it wasn't Dule Hill, but Tiger centerfielder Curtis Granderson. He's as good in the studio, by the way, as he is on the diamond, which is saying something. Great, great young player and personality...and yes, he was the one, while working for TBS two weeks ago, who gave the best scouting report on the "Canadian soldiers" at Jacobs Field.

Granderson, or Grady Sizemore, is the kind of player any team (ahem, Yankees) could use. Even if the Yanks are pretty set in center field with Melky Cabrera for awhile.

I try to remain apolitical on the blog, but last night I caught some clips of Matt Lauer's interview with Senator Larry "Skip to the Loo" Craig (R-Idaho). Hilarious. First of all, whether or not Craig is guilty, I have to ask, "What's illegal about attempting to pick someone up at an airport?"

Isn't that half the reason airport bars were invented? (and by the way, shouldn't someone do a documentary on airport bartenders? One of the hidden perks of the job: None of your customers are in danger of driving drunk (unless they have wings on their lapels).

Anyway, as I sat there transfixed by Lauer's questions ("I apologize for asking this, but is it possible you may be bisexual?"), I kept returning to the same fundamental point: What did Craig do that was against the law?

Not that I buy Craig's denials at all. There's absolutely no chance one guy accidentally touches another guy's feet in a public men's room stall, even if one of them is, as Craig explained, "A wide guy, so I like to sit wide."(waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much information)

Also, come on. If any straight guy were arrested for this, the last emotion he'd have is embarrassment. Instead, it would go from "Are you freakin' kidding me?" frothing rage to, if he has any sense of humor, an anecdote that he'd share with everyone he knows ("Dude, I got thrown in the can for what I did on the can!" [that would be, I promise you, Steve Rushin's line if it happened to him...and Steve grew up in the Twin Cities, so who knows, it already may have]).

Finally, Senator Craig, in tone and demeanor, reminded me of not just a few priests I came in contact with (figuratively) during my sixteen years of Catholic schooling. I'm just sayin'.

Here are excerpts of the interview:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fwx8sV1LV1A

NOTRE DAME'S NEXT STARTING QB

Evan Sharpley is not the third player to start at quarterback this season; he's the fourth. Demetrius Jones took the first snap of the Georgia Tech game. Jimmy Clausen took the first snap of the Penn State (and Michigan State, Purdue, UCLA and Boston College games). And Armando Allen, lining up in the shotgun formation (and I can only assume he was standing in for the very recently departed DJ on that particular play), took the first snap...that sailed over his head...in the Michigan game.

And now Sharpley will start versus USC.

I don't like to traffic in predictions too often, but I see that the New England Patriots have a bye on November 11th. So I'm expecting Charlie Weis to announce on Tuesday, November 6th, that "Tom Brady's gonna start for us this week against Air Force because he gives us the best chance to win."

What a noble experiment that would be though, eh? What if you did insert Tom Brady at quarterback for Notre Dame, say, this week versus Southern Cal. Would the Irish, currently 17 1/2 point 'dogs suddenly be favorites? I don't know.

By the way, it's no breaking news that Tom Brady is Mr. Cool, but he further cemented that status on Saturday when an impostor found his way into the post-game press conference for the Patriots-Cowboys game. Here's the exchange, and if someone doesn't hire this inquisitor immediately, then I don't believe in anything any more:

REPORTER: "Champ, Champ, Champ, talk about the touchdown pass to Donte' Stallworth. It looked like you two were doing the Jitterbug while the Dallas secondary was doing the Charleston."

BRADY: "Is that right? I don't know what the hell that means but, it was a great route and it's easy to throw it when he's that wide open. Great question."

*************************************

Today's challenge: Come up with a handsome actor who has even less screen presence than Dermot Mulroney .

The Boss along with his sons, team president, GM, COO and the catering lady are allllll scheduled to sit down and talk a little '08 Yankees today in Tampa.

First up on the agenda:
Does Joe stay or does Joe go?
Does Steinbrenner stick to his threat or go soft and let Joe back for another year or two?
I'm not even touching the A-Rod stuff.

It seems everyone in New York has an opinion and I'm not really sure what the general consensus is. However a name that has been thrown around as the likely successor (mainly due to him being hand picked by Steinbrenner) is Don Mattingly. Some say he wouldn't want the job and would not want to take over Joe's role.

Read what his agent came out and said today disputing that theory.

"Maybe the 2007 Pats were caught stealing signals, but only one signal matters anymore: two middle fingers turned toward the sky."

That should be enough to get you wanting to read the story. Go here for more.

Tom Brady just threw his fourth touchdown pass of the game and 20th of the season putting him on pace to throw an NFL record 52 this year.

With 20 touchdown passes and two picks, it would be interesting to see if this is the most statistically prolific six-game streak any quarterback's ever had.

Brady's also 23 for 36, a completion percentage of about 73 percent which will actually drop his completion percentage.

An 8-yard touchdown pass from Tony Romo to Patrick Crayton puts Dallas up 24-21 with 10:20 left in the third. That's two consecutive touchdown drives for Dallas, the first was 8 for 84 yards before halftime and this one was seven plays and 76 yards.

Patriots safeties Rodney Harrison and Eugene Wilson got tuned up on the drive, Wilson on two consecutive runs by Julius Jones on which he missed tackles.

This is the first time this season New England's trailed.

New England only punted once in the first half yet their lead is far from comfortable. They need to get left tackle Matt Light some help on DeMarcus Ware. He is flying off the edge at Tom Brady and while he's only gotten one sack, he's coming with great force and terrrrrible anger.

The Patriots have only run the ball nine times with Sammy Morris; Dallas has seven carries between Marion Barber and Julius Jones. Eventually, one of the teams - most likely New England - is going to have to go into clock-killing mode and run the ball. Although the Pats have shown in the past they won't bang their head against the wall if they have the lead late and a team is loading up against the run.

Terrell Owens scored but he's been a minor player for the Dallas offense. Jason Witten and Marion Barber are the players making the Dallas offense go at this point.

Wes Welker, meanwhile has been the biggest irritant for the Cowboys defense with six catches for 94 yards and two scores.

Morris just left the game on the second play of the half with what appeared to be a head injury so it may be up to Heath Evans and Kevin Faulk in the backfield now.

The Patriots went for it on fourth-and-1 from the Cowboys 15 and Brady picked it up on the sneak. This was a critical play in the game because the Cowboys were within 4 despite being desperately outplayed. If they could get a stop, they'd remain tight and have some momentum in the stadium.

For New England, more could have gone wrong on the play than right but they went for the kill shot. They got the first down and then the touchdown to Wes Welker on a cross.

Now, up 11 with 31 minutes to go, it's hard to see New England nose-diving.

Pats tight end Ben Watson just left the field after getting tackled on the sideline. He had his foot get rolled as he was tackled from behind. Watson's fortunate his toe didn't dig into the turf on the play or he could have had more than just a likely sprain or twist.

Outgained by New England 143 yards to 55, and having generated only two first downs, the Cowboys got a strip sack touchdown from Nick Hatcher after Greg Ellis stripsack of Tom Brady.

The Cowboys have had occasions where they got Brady unsettled in the pocket. They understand that, talented as the New England receivers are, they are still new and communication is not going to be perfect. Already today there have been miscommunications between Jabar Gaffney, Randy Moss and Donte Stallworth and Brady.

It appeared a miscommunication between Brady and Stallworth led to the stripsack.

Dallas, aided by an unnecessary roughness penalty on New England is on the move. On the penalty, Ty Warren got called for jacking a Cowboy in the back on the edge of a pile long after the play was over. Vince Wilfork and Rodney Harrison could have both been called for the same thing on the play.

The Cowboys offense is tight. Patrick Crayton tried inexplicably to one-hand a pass that was easily handled with two, T.O. had an easy drop, Tony Romo is flinging the ball and not setting his feet.

Mat McBriar, the Dallas punter, looks good.

They need more touches for Marion Barber.

Why the Cowboys aren't letting one safety play centerfield 20 yards downfield is beyond me. They are too easily influenced by things that happen near the line and the question of breakdowns back there is not if but when.

Wes Welker just scored a touchdown and mocked the TO Spidey Dance which, to someone with TOs perceived self worth, has to shake him right to his narcissistic core.

Embarrassing second drive for the Boys who got Julius Jones smashed for a loss on first down by Vince Wilfork, had Terrell Owens drop a pass on second down then had Tony Romo get sacked by Rodney Harrison on a safety blitz with a perfect form tackle.

No first downs yet for Dallas.

The Patriots are at the Dallas 6 but Brady is 6 for 11 on this first drive with three poor throws...and now there's a touchdown pass to Randy Moss for Mr. Poor Throwing Guy.

It was a 14-play, 74-yard drive in 5:29 that included four third-down conversions including the touchdown.

The Patriots ran a fake reverse pass on the first play from scrimmage and had Randy Moss running free past Terence Newman and Roy Williams but Brady overthrew Moss by about 5 yards.

New England's moving anyway, out to their 49 and now into Dallas territory after two third-down conversions, the first to Wes Welker, the second to Donte Stallworth.

Romo couldn't find anyone then Julius Jones got hit in the mouth. Now it's third-and-6 with six DBs.

And they get nothing.

If the first third-and-long is an indication, it looks like New England may not send extra rushers at Romo and instead make him find the right place to go with the ball while the Pats hope their front causes pressure.

Just performed an informal press box poll asking national and local writers from both teams who they thought would win.

It was 15-0 in favor of the Patriots.

Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan said, "Whatever the final score is, I don't care if it's one point, the outcome will never be in doubt."

IRRRRRVING, Texas - As the great and desperately missed Pat Summerall would say.

"Welcome....to IR-ving..."

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady just left the field and it sounded like the fans were booing him. Seriously. Although they could have been attempting to get in his head by yelling "Drewwwww...!" since all those years ago Brady took over for Bledsoe.

The dangerous facet of that is - if they were indeed yelling "Drewwwwww....!" there's a chance that could backfire since Tony Romo also relieved Bledsoe. Permanently.

We're about a half hour away from kickoff and I just did an

Check out the ddds sent to me this week by BoDog with a fleet of prop bets on the Patriots Cowboys

Patriots/Cowboys Odds

Will these Teams meet in the Super Bowl?
Yes +300
No -500

Who will throw the first TD Pass?
Tony Romo -105
Tom Brady -125

Who will throw the first interception?
Tony Romo -140
Tom Brady +110

Who will have the longest TD Pass?
Tony Romo -120
Tom Brady -110

Tom Brady – Total Passing Yards in week 6
Over 275 -125
Under 275 -105

Tony Romo – Total Passing Yards in week 6
Over 280 -115
Under 280 -115

Who will catch a TD pass first?
Randy Moss -140
Terrell Owens Even

Who will have the longest reception?
Randy Moss -120
Terrell Owens -110

Terrell Owens Total Receiving Yards in week 6
Over 87.5 -115
Under 87.5 -115

Randy Moss Total Receiving Yards in week 6
Over 95.5 -115
Under 95.5 -115

Being the savvy and cost-conscious business traveler I am, I eschewed the rental car from the airport to Texas Stadium and instead paid $25 for a roundtrip from the Courtyard DFW.

Wedged in with 13 others in an Excursion limo, there was a mix of maniacal Patriots fans from Smithfield, R.I. and a cadre of Cowboys fans.

The man to my left was with his son who was attending his first Cowboys game. They flew in from Hawaii for this one.

His son's name? Dallas.

With LSU and CAL losing this past weekend, the respective number 1 and 2 teams in the nation, the new question is: what is the true value in an undefeated team? Is an LSU loss to #17 Kentucky equal to #4 Boston College's perfect record? At first glance it seems easy, a team that has been beaten should be ranked below the team that has not lost. But really.. is Boston College a better football team then LSU? Taking it a step further: was Appalachian State better than MIchigan or Stanford better than USC? Hmm...

Take Boston College for example. Undefeated-yes. However of those six wins, BC has only beaten one team ranked in the Top 25- Georgia Tech (who was 15 at the time). LSU, on the other hand, has played and beaten (at the time ranked) #9 Virginia Tech, #12 South Carolina, and a squeaked out win against #9 Florida before losing in triple overtime to #17 Kentucky. Boston College beat ND last night, and we all know what kind of 'special' team the Fighting Irish have been this year, but definitely didn't blow them out. (And had it not been for the flag that took away the ND TD, it could've been a different game.) So who do you rank higher? LSU or BC?

Let's take a look at USC, the undisputed #1 coming into the season. I've always had a problem with USC. Not because they lack talent (in some cases, they may have the most talent in depth), nor because they lack good coaching. No, my problem with USC is their schedule. Heavy hitters? Depends if you consider wins against: Idaho, #14 Nebraska, Washington State, and Washington (beating them by 3) and Arizona a big feat. Toss in a loss to Stanford and we're not exactly looking at the best team in the nation. Number one teams, who want to keep their spot in the polls, should be playing ranked teams. Period. To give USC some credit, the second half of their schedule picks up some weight with games against 3 top 15 teams: Oregon, California and Arizona State.

Then we must deal with teams who have risen out of nowhere and become a threat to anyone's schedule. LIke Rutgers. Or how about Missouri? Ranked 11th, its the highest they've been since 1981. What about USF? Typical state dominating the Top 10, totally different name.

This season has proven one thing without question: preseason rankings DO NOT MATTER. Just ask anyone in the Top 10. Here's what it looked like on August 19:
1. USC (62) 0-0 1,622
2. LSU (2) 0-0 1,511
3. West Virginia (1) 0-0 1,396
4. Texas 0-0 1,375
5. Michigan 0-0 1,371
6. Florida 0-0 1,276
7. Wisconsin 0-0 1,192
8. Oklahoma 0-0 1,166
9. Virginia Tech 0-0 1,148
10. Louisville 0-0 1,031
11. Ohio State 0-0 876
*bold names have dropped out

Here's what it looks like on October 14:
1. Ohio State (50) 7-0 1,599
2. South Florida (11) 6-0 1,503
3. Boston College (1) 7-0 1,448
4. Oklahoma (1) 6-1 1,399
5. LSU (1) 6-1 1,331
6. South Carolina 6-1 1,247
7. Oregon 5-1 1,177
8. Kentucky 6-1 1,098
9. West Virginia 5-1 1,090
10. California 5-1 1,065
*bold names were not in original Top 10

Notre Dame is trailing by the same number of points (13) to start the 4th quarter as they were at halftime. So how come it feels as if they have BC on the ropes?

Well, because they are at last moving the ball on offense. Because the defense is making plays and forcing BC into three-and-outs. The Eagles punted just once in the first half, but twice in the 3rd quarter.

By the way, commenter Felix made a great suggestion. After the excessive celebration penalty, the Irish should have just kicked the ball out of bounds. That would have given BC the ball on their own 35, as opposed to a kickoff that BC field at about the 35 and returned into Notre Dame territory, setting up their most recent touchdown.

Also, we should mention that the Irish in the 3rd quarter were the beneficiaries of three roughing penalties that were milquetoast calls. One was on a shot that Duval Kamara took and the other two were roughing the passer penalties in which Sharpley was the victim. I'm not sure about the Kamara flag, but both roughing the passer flags were lame calls.

Maybe someone up in the ND coaches booth can make a suggestion about Irish linebackers covering BCs' tailbacks as they come out of the backfield?

Irish have been stymied on their last two offensive drives, and now the defense looks a little defeated again.

What a difference a playmaker makes?

My astute and beautiful colleague, Paula Faris , who just became a mom last month for the first time (Caroline Grace is the baby's name), pointed out to me that Evan Sharpley led the Irish on a 79-yard touchdown drive in his first series of the game. That's the same total of yards that the Irish offense had all of the first half.

On the very next B.C. drive, with the students and the rest ot the stadium suddenly awakened, true freshman linebacker Brian Smith intercepted a Matt Ryan pass and returned it 25 yards for a TD. Then it was all "Dogpile on the Freshman" time in the Notre Dame endzone. The referees called an excessive celebration penalty on the Notre Dame pressbox, I believe.

Or should have.

It's 20-14 now, midway through the 3rd quarter and Notre Dame Stadium hasn't sonded like this since Jeff Samardzija and BQQB were hooking up.

BC just went on an efficient and successful TD drive that was abetted by the short field due to the 15-yard excessive celebration flag. So that's four BC TD drives this afternoon, three of which began in "plus territory", as the kids on GameDay like to say.

Evan Sharpley, now in at quarterback (see previous blog entry)...and his first two throws are high. Sometimes, there just is no answer.

On 3rd-and-10 from the 21, Sharpley throws a dangerous pass in the flat to Paris Review that is nearly intercepted and housed, but Parrismatch pulls it in for a gain of 28. ND's longest gain of the day.

(This is the space where a more insecure blogger would type, I told you so).

Notre Dame has now played thirteen halves of football this season. Let's look at some scoring numbers:

--The Irish offense has been shut out in six of those thirteen halves. Or nearly half of them.

--In three other halves the Irish only scored either because the defense itself scored (Darrin Walls at Penn State) or because the defense handed the ball to the offense inside the opponents' ten yard-line (Penn State, UCLA). So that's nine halves out of thirteen in which the Irish offense had nothing to do with a score.

--Notre Dame scored a season-high 20 points last Saturday at UCLA, but only 3 of those points came via an Irish offensive drivfe that began beyond the Bruin 2 yard-line. You read that right.

--That leaves us four halves out of the season's first thirteen--more than half the season--in which the Irish offense has been directly responsible for a score:

1) the second half versus Georgia Tech, in which ND drove 58 yards in 12 plays for a field goal.
2) the first half against Michigan State, in which the Irish scored a pair of touchdowns. The first, though, came after the defense recovered a fumble on the Spartan 9 yard-line.
3) the second half at Purdue, which was by far ND's best (only?) productive offensive half of the season.
4) the second half at UCLA, when the Irish offense scored, well, ten points (Mo Crum scored another), and only a field goal on a drive that began from farther out than the UCLA 2.

Meanwhile, freshman quarterback Jimmy Clausen has just thrown his second interception in as many passes. It's not that Clausen is a bust--far from it. He's the quarterback of the future, without a doubt. But it's plain as day that the Irish offense has only moved the ball well one half all season long, and the quarterback for most of that half--he went 16-26 for 208 yards, two TDs and two interceptions--was the junior, Evan Sharpley.

Clausen's latest pick was tipped, but it was also returned down to the Irish ten yard-line. It's now 20-0 BC, and you wonder why Weis does not at least put Sharpley (who hasn't played since Purdue) in for a few series and let him give it a go. Because Notre Dame's offense is just flapping like a fish on the deck of a boat.

And meanwhile, where's Golden Tate?

...just completed his fourth pass of the first half to the Notre Dame sideline.

---My editor DieBarryDie astutely points out that the rule in which a punter being called down for kneeling to field a punt is "moronic". After all, if a holder can have his knee on the ground---wait, Clausen just completed a fifth pass to Charlie Weis-- for a field goal without the play being ruled dead, why not a punter? Oh, well.

Clausen just scrambled and got hit as he slid by BC linebacker Jolonn Dunbar. JC rose up a little steamed, wanting the flag for a late hit or a shot to the head. But it was a clean play.

On the next play, Clausen throw a deep pass to Kamara that is intercepted while I sit here wondering where is Golden Tate?

At the half, it's BC 13, Notre Dame 0. The AWFENSE continues.

It occurs to me that by this moment in history more writers/editors have likely used the "Ryan's Hope" line than viewers have actually seen the soap opera Ryan's Hope. So I'm going to avoid using it this afternoon.

BC is killing the Irish with the short stuff. ND is rushing four, five even six guys but the Eagle line stalls them long enough for Ryan to find his safety valve back. Most of the passes Ryan has completed in the second quarter were in the air downfield less than eight yards. But it's enough.

BC just scored--or did they?-- from half a yard out. Actually, it looks as if only Andre Callender's helmet crossed the goal line and that the ball did not. This play is under review...as was every touchdown from last night's Hawaii-San Jose State game. Did anyone else see that? Ridonkulous. I was waiting for someone to officially review the Spartan QB taking a knee at the end of regulation.

The score holds up. BC 13, Irish 0. Price's taking a knee was the equivalent of a turnover. Huge momentum shift on that one. The Irish have 92 seconds to put some points on the board before halftime, and Mo Crum cannot help them.

Trevor Laws did it again. He just blocked yet another field-goal attempt. I'm sure someone in this fine air-conditioned press box will soon announce how many career field goal/PAT blocks Trevor Laws has. Score another victory for ND's bend-don't-break defense.

It's still just 6-0 BC with 9:50 to play in the half.

After Laws blocked the field goal some Domer official/tool muttered under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear, "That's why (BC) went for it on 4th-and-9 earlier, not because of our offense."

(He'd heard me say something to this effect to Bobby V. , our very cool production assistant for our webcasts.)

Anyway, I'm going to go ahead and disagree with you on that one, okay? Nothing against Laws' efforts or the Irish defense, but until they cross the BC 40 yard line today, there's no need for BC to be overly concerned.

And as I type this, Jimmy Clausen completes a 26-yard pass to Robby Parris-commune to the 41.

BC's run defense is very tough, but Clausen is having some luck tossing against them. And when he isn't, he's widely throwing the ball out of bounds. Making sure Notre Dame's offense doesn't beat them, as UCLA's did a week ago.

HUGE BREAK FOR BC: The snap to punter Geoff Price was low, and as he bent down to get it, his knee touched the ground. It might as well have been a fumble, but even worse it was a 12-yard loss. So where BC probably should be beginning this drive inside their 20, now they have it at the Irish 42. Tough break for ND.

"Please don't go! Don't go."

The Irish are facing a 4th-and-2 from their own 45 very early in the second quarter. And it's only 6-0, BC. Charlie Weis has the offense lined up to go for it, but this is neither the time nor the place. This Irish offense cannot get you two yards on 4th down, and the defense has played too well to put them in this hole.

Weis gets wise. Calls timeout. Punts. Geoff Price, who pinned BC down to the 11 on his last punt, puts this one down to the 15. Wise move, Charlie.

B.C., facing 4th-and-9 on the Irish 24, just went for it. And why not? If you're Jeff Jagodzinski you don't have to fear that the Irish are going to march the ball 76 yards down for a TD, and even if they do, you know you can move the ball. It must be nice to have that kind of confidence.

By the way, the Irish held.

Here's the funny thing about this Irish team. It's a little bit like the (dangerous analogy ahead) Iraq War. It's easy to support the soldiers/players, because there's little (besides the Michigan game) to indicate that they're not playing their hearts out or giving their best effort. Especially the defense.

You just wonder about the generals and their superiors sometimes.

If you're reading this you've watched enough ND football this year to wonder the same thing that I do: Why does it look so much harder for the Irish on offense than it does the other side (UCLA excepted)? I know they're young--Clausen and Allen, when they both started at Penn State, were the first true frosh QB-RB tandem to start for ND since frosh became eligible in '72. So maybe that's it.

But the offense is just so straight-ahead and unimaginative. Apparently they cannot--or Weis feels they cannot-- handle anything more complex.

Darrin Walls just made his second pass break-up of the first quarter. The sophomore is having a good game. As is Trevor Laws, who always has a good game.

Zibby has blitzed a few times, but BC has done a good job of picking him up.

4th-7-29 for BC, and this time they'll punt....it's Zibby time.

The Irish got the fans a little hopeful, putting BC in a 3rd-and-8 position on the Eagles' opening offensive drive. Three plays later, it was 6-0, B.C., mostly due to L.V. Whitworth's career-long 53-yard run down to the 7.

Eric Olsen is starting at right guard for the Irish in place of Matt Carufel, who is back home in Forest Lake, Minn., this weekend. Carufel is mulling whether or not he wants to be here in South Bend (couldn't he have waited until the bye week?)

B.C. kicker Steve Aponavicius missed the PAT, which I doubt will have a major impact on the outcome of this contest.

David Grimes is injured today. In his place Robby Parris-is-burning and Duval Kamara are in a lot. The Irish are eschewing a fullback in favor of a third wideouts. Parris just dropped passes on consecutive plays...granted, the second ball was low and a difficult catch. But he's got to make those. ND can't count on Mo Crum to supply all the offense again this Saturday.

First, a shout-out that need to be taken care of....

--Happy Birthday to my sister Lorraine, who turns...older...today. Happy Birthday, Lorraine, and as always, go CROX!

I LOVE THE 80s

Every Saturday that I return to Notre Dame each autumn feels like an '80s time warp, but today even moreso. Yes, you'll find Gerry Faust (just walked behind me) and legendarily scary chemistry prof Emil T. Hofman here, as you will most every week. Allen Pinkett is in the radio booth for Westwood One.

But today is even more nostalgic, because one of my best (and most unforgettable) friends when I was a Notre Dame student is named Matt Ryan. Which is also, as you know, the name of the B.C. quarterback. The Notre Dame Matt Ryan was about 6'3", 150 pounds and was the most gung-ho Army ROTC dude you ever met. He was the leader of the Army Rangers here and was honored as the outstanding ROTC member of our class at our graduation.

But what mader Matt Ryan, whom we nicknamed "Ranger" after one week so memorable was his split personality. No one made a better impression on a friend's parents--Ranger was utterly "Haskell-ian" in the way in which he'd greet adults. But then when you hung out with him alone Ranger, who was also an outstanding student, would launch disquieting debates about the best way to disembowel an enemy soldier. Nothing was too sick for Ranger to discuss. Ranger also was responsible for the first time I overindulged at Notre Dame as well as the last, which happened to be on our final day of finals. Ranger made me do shots of vodka in his room and then after my pure, ice-watery veins (I was inexperienced in so many ways as a 21 year-old) had been saturated, we went to the dining hall for lunch.

"Unbelievable," I said to Ranger. "Have people been showing up to lunch like this all four years?"

I don't know where Ranger is these days--whenever any of us from Dillon Hall run into him, once every five years or so, he gives us shadowy answers about working for "a private security firm", but if anyone does, tell him we miss him. I'd say there was only one Matt Ryan...but then, that's not true.

*********

By the way, the last three Heisman Trophy winners (Troy Smith, Reggie Bush, Matt Leinart) played against Notre Dame in the same calendar year in which they won the award. Just wondering, since he's the most likely Heisman candidate Notre Dame will face this year, if Matt Ryan will be the fourth.

B.C. won the toss, and is deferring to the second half. Cloudy and 60 degrees. Enjoy the game and feel free to comment. Oh, and R.R., you can always google "auto de fe".

The most inspired college football idea of last season--media division, as opposed to on-field division, in which the award would go to Bret Bielema's kickoffs in the Penn State-Wisconsin game-- where were we? Oh, yes, the most inspired college football idea of 2006 in terms of media was Deadspin's "Hugh Johnson Project", in which college football fans comment on what's going on in all the TV games (much to the chagrin of Pam Ward).

This year's most inspired idea has to be Holtz The Magnificent , the halftime segment that first runs on Thursday nights on ESPN in which Lou Holtz addresses the camera as if he's giving a pre-game pep talk to a team facing a major opponent on Saturday. How about the one where he performed the magic trick with the USA Today? Classic.

My favorite part of the "Holtz The Magnificent" phenomenon is how the hipster slacker bloggers who've been dogging Holtz for as long as they've been around (I'm talking to you, Mr. Leitch) as a clown have suddenly done an about-face. Now they suddenly adore Holtz. Think he's cool.

Lou Holtz has always been cool, kids.

And smart. You don't go 100-30-2 (.765) at ND without being somewhat competent. Sure, Holtz picks the Irish to win each Saturday to the dismay of Mark May, who always picks them to lose (and, thus, is correct more often). Holtz knows that he's picking the wrong team most weeks, but he doesn't care. He hopes that everyone gets the joke--his heart belongs to this school, he'd rather be the broken clock that's correct twice a day than kick the school when they're down.

Last night, over post-midnight brews with my buddy (and Friday night hotel room boarder) Mike Rothstein of the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette (a quality newspaper, sure, but one that's perhaps a little too frugal with its travel budget), the Holtz-Weis comparison came up. I mean, do you realize Lou is only seventy years old? JoePa's got a full decade on him, and Bobby Bowden seven or eight years. There's no reason Holtz shouldn't still be coaching somewhere (oh, I don't know where, I'm just spitballin' here), and you can see from his ESPN appearances that while his lisp hasn't approved any--it may, in fact, have gotten worse--his energy and mental faculties have not deteriorated at all.

Holtz and Weis, my buddy Mike and I decided, are both smarter than us. By a lot. And they both know it. The difference is that Holtz is smart enough to let everyone else think they're smarter than he is. Charlie's just the opposite. Holtz's entire act is about dispelling the idea that he is competent enough to brush his teeth, much lesslead a team to the national title. Charlie, on the other hand, wears gaudy Super Bowl rings.

Carufel What You Wish For

On today's depth chart sophomore Matt Carufel is listed as the starting right guard for the Irish. Except that he won't be. Carufel is back home in the Twin Cities area, trying to decide if he wants to be a part of the Notre Dame football program any longer. It's understandable when a backup who still has a few years of eligibility remaining decides to jump ship (e.g., Demetrius Jones, Konrad Reuland), but when a sophomore starter on the offensive line goes AWOL, that's a little disturbing.

You know what else is disturbing? This quote from B.C. sophomore stud linebacker Mark Herzlich , who's done an outstanding job stepping in for injured Brian Toal this season: "(Notre Dame is) the best 1-5 team in the country."
Yes, and Eric Carmen is the best soft-rock Seventies singer not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Halftime Show We'd Like To See

My friend Joanna sent this link my way the other day. This is what happens when someone takes their marching band experience and attempts to go solo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wffwg7pA0t8

-----I was reading the New York Post yesterday and gazing at the betting lines. Noticed that the Patriots were listed as 3-point favorites at Dallas, but what caught my eye was that after "patriots" there was an asterisk. My eyeballs traveled downward to the bottom of the betting lines to ascertain what the * was all about. And this is what it said:

* cheaters

-----Did you see the San Jose State-Hawaii game last night? The Warriors won, but in the muddy conditions in San Jose they were exposed as a total timing-pattern team. You have to admire Colt Brennan's moxie, but his release point is too low and his passes all seemed to have the same bullet-like trajectory. He's got a rifle arm, no doubt--that pass he tossed for Hawaii's fourth TD late in the 3rd quarter traveled 45 yards in half a second, it seemed-- but he didn't seem to adjust for his receivers having to make their cuts more gingerly in the slop. Colt attempted 75 passes, by the way. Hawaii, 7-0, but likely to drop out of the Top 25 this week. I'd put them at 25th, tops.

-- The Rudy Curse

The game footage scenes for the film Rudy were shot during halftime of Notre Dame's 54-7 auto de fe of Boston College in 1992. Since then the Eagles are 4-3 versus the Irish in South Bend and have spoiled a 10-0 season and an 8-0 season. I blame Mr. Ruettiger.

In much the same manner that Elmer Fudd only formally recognized two seasons-- Duck Season, Wabbit Season--, so do I. My two times of year are divided into "Hot Chocolate Season" and "Not Hot Chocolate Season". Today in South Bend, with a bland gray sky and a little nip in the air, I'm inaugurating "Hot Chocolate Season '07". It may be a little premature--it's windbreaker weather--but after the first six weeks of the football ledger, which was "SPF 45 Season", I'm anxious to turn the page.

Besides, Al Gore winning that Nobel Peace prize was the last straw. Not that he isn't right.

What I'm trying to say is, It's a great day for football in south Bend. It finally feels like football weather. BC-ND, you cannot beat this.

I attended, as a fan, the previous game in this series, which took place in October of 2004 at Notre Dame. B.C. won that one (of course) 24-23, and for a lot of Irish followers this game was the death knell for the Ty Willingham era. The Irish had won five of six games and were 5-2 entering the contest. At halftime they led 20-7 and who knows what the future might have held if they'd hung on and won.

In the second half, though, the entire regime fell. It wasn't just that B.C. made a spirited comeback to win. It was some of the 4th quarter plays, coaching, etc. that was confounding--and, to be fair, many of the same mistakes have been made by Willingham's successor, but at the time there was no precedent--at least not since the Gerry Faust era--for head-scratching coaching moves.

A few I remember from that day:

1) The Irish, clinging to a 20-17 lead with about nine minutes remaining, faced 4th-and-5 in (trendy '07 football term alert!) "plus territory". That is, they were at the B.C. 30 yard-line. So the Irish could either have attempted a 47-yard field goal (at the very edge of D.J. Fitzpatrick's range) or gone for it. What did they do? Punt. At home, in the fourth quarter, on the opponents' 30-yard line, they punted. The kick went 15 yards.
Later that quarter ND faced a 4th-and-6 from the BC 25 and kicked the field goal. But a six-point difference in the 4th quarter isn't a 9-point difference, is it?

2.) B.C. facing 4th-and-13 on their own 45 with 1:33 remaining, completes a 17-yard pass along their sideline. Granted, Eagle QB Paul Peterson played a fantastic game and he was very elusive, but anyone who didn't think the righty was going to do a roll-out pass (to his right!) on this down wasn't paying attention. Two plays later, the Eagles scored the go-ahead touchdown.

3) The most troubling scene, for me, was Notre Dame's last-gasp drive (which started on their own 12 with :54 left). There were too many foul-ups to recount here in total, but the most egregious was what happened on a 4th-and-1 play. The Irish call timeout before the 4th-and-1, from their 21, (thank you for enduring this therapy session, by the way....I just have to vent). Brady Quinn kept the ball and gained 5 yards to keep the drive, and the game alive, but then on first down he spiked the ball.
What???
You call timeout before 4th-and-1 and you don't call a second play for after the Irish convert? Moreover, the officials have to stop the clock and move the chains on a first down. You can't get to the line and have your play ready? True, Quinn was only a sophomore then, but that fourth quarter, and especially that final drive, was a testament to what an ill-prepared and neo-conservative team the Irish were then.

And you know what? In the twelve times Notre Dame has played Boston College since the 54-7 shellacking by the Irish in 1992, one thing you can never say about B.C. is that they've been poorly coached. Or ill-prepared. Other teams have had more talent than B.C., but no Notre Dame opponent plays more mistake-free football. And that is why they've won nine of those twelve games.

A few weeks ago, Gregg and I got a TV at our desks. Now this new freedom comes with a few rules, rules I've come to terms with slowly.

*70-30% of the time, the TV will be at a slight angle. Towards Gregg.
*On Sunday, we will have Game 1 and Game 2 to view at our desk (the wall off to the side has TV's playing the other games).
*On Sunday- Game 1 and Game 2 will be chosen between those games that are in HD.
*The Texans are never in HD.
*The only channels we ever watch are SPORTS.. until today.

Gregg: "Want to see what Tiki Barber is up to these days?"
Tiff: "Sure."

Gregg changes the channel and as soon as the screen becomes clear you see this:
Tiki's face just off to the left side of the screen, a bookshelf, and a graphic that reads: "How to decorate a bookshelf".

Who would've thought, Tiki Barber, talking about the X's and O's of decorating.

Lamont Jordan.
Back in action this week! Which means my team might be able to recover from that dismal performance last week.

If you own Travis Henry.. there's still hope yet for your pot smoking RB.

The return of Brian Westbrook. Luckily the Eagles are playing the Jets and that hopefully means good things for Westbrook and my QB Donovan McNabb.

BOBBY BROWN, isn't 38 too young to have a heart attack? Mild or not.

Britney vs. Celine: Who'd win?

Remember Mike Gundy's rant? How could you forget, it was everywhere. Well here's a new press conference with a commercial spin. I'm not buying the car, but that is pretty funny.

This article paints Scott Boras out to be greedy, coniving and unbelievably selfish. Agree?

Hey you, with the Fantasy Team. Better check your roster cause chances are, you've got a few of your guys on the bench. It's Week 6 and that means 6 teams are on a bye. Check out this article on good QB's. Sunday is going to be a loonnnngggg day.

Since 2001, there's been talk that Tom Brady's the second coming of Joe Montana.

That contention never held water with this blog because Brady never had offensive weapons even remotely comparable to Montana's yet he still won.

This year, with offensive artillery at least comparable to the glory day Niners (although I'm not sure if Wes Welker is the equal of John Taylor), Brady's on pace to shatter quarterbacking records and marry several supermodels.

The Boston Herald got Montana on the topic of Tommy.

"He's way too big and strong-armed for me. Charlie (Weis, the Notre Dame coach) says we have similar personalities, but that might be about it. He has more physical tools than I did, but I might be better looking than him. That’s definitely not true."

“Right now you look at him and he’s in such a zone,” Montana said. “He has so much confidence in his own abilities, it’s hard to stop. When you reach that point, it’s difficult for a defense to get you out of there, especially when you’re on a team with as many weapons as the Patriots [team stats].

“They’re playing as good as any team I’ve ever seen, both offensively and defensively. It’s hard to miss. On both sides of the ball they’re making it look way too easy.”

Ever have one of those days when you think everything in your life is a mess?

You're late to work. Then you can't get a cab and it's raining. You miss the express and get stuck on the local smashed in between strangers. Let's not even go through the work day or personal life stuff! Like I said, one of those days where everything is a mess.

Last night I'm walking to the ATM to get some money for dinner. I was being lazy and ordered in... that is until the man on the phone said, "We don't accept credit cards." Thanks. So much for being lazy.

Anyways, I get to the ATM and there on the sidewalk is a man sitting. It's obvious he has no place to go and nothing to eat. Reality check: "What am I complaining about?" I bought him some food. This morning I get an email in my inbox and thought: "Well, this could help a lot more people."

DailyCandy is an email service that pimps out a lot of good (and sometimes bad) stuff. Sample Sales. Clothing. Restaurants. Trends. And today, A GOOD CAUSE.

From the email:
"More than one million New Yorkers rely on soup kitchens and food pantries for a meal. Unfortunately, the Food Bank is currently undergoing a major food shortage. And it's almost the beginning of the holiday season.
DailyCandy is joining the Food Bank's fight to wipe out hunger in the city that we love by Going Orange - the color for hunger awareness. You can help by making a contribution ($1 = five meals) and encouraging your friends to do the same. Then rock the Food Bank's "I Went Orange" (just remember to request one when you donate) to help raise awareness of the worthwhile cause."

So even if you're having a sucky day... check it. Chances are, you are better off than most. Do a good thing, help some people out and then go back to your complaining. That way, at least you did something.

Moving on up... moving on up.. in the AP Poll! Ok, more like getting into the AP Poll. Small baby steps.

Quite the college shuffle... check out where your favorite team ranks.

Yankees season is done. Playing season that is. The wheeling and dealing behind the scenes has just begun.

Scott Boras, A-Rod's money man, has already started to stir the pot about what the likely AL MVP is worth.

Play till he's 45?
Break the home run record?
Help a regional sports network increase its value to over a billion dollars?

All the things that Alex Rodriguez could bring to YOUR team. That is if he wishes to leave the Big Apple.

Cowboys kicker Nick Folk drilled a 53-yard field goal - twice - as time expired (Buffalo used the last-second timeout ploy to ice Folk) to get a win it didn't exactly deserve but secured nonetheless.

Great, great game. Dallas stays perfect. How well they'll fare on a short week against the Patriots? Hmmm. New England beat Buffalo 38-7. Dallas beat the Bills 25-24.

Not promising for Da Boys.

But T.O.'s getting screwed by the refs tonight.

A reception that would have put the Cowboys in position for a game-winning field goal just got overturned even though the replay didn't seem conclusive that he didn't secure the ball.

On a two-point conversion attempt that would have tied it, Bills corner Jabari Greer made a tremendous play to extract the ball from Owens on a fade but Greer never turned around to see the ball and made contact before the ball arrived.

Owens also got forced out on a reception after getting one foot down but was ruled out of bounds and, in the first half, Owens flipped the ball after a reception and got called for a delay of game. Close but not that big an infraction.

For Tony Gwynn...I've been clicking back and forth between the Tony Romo Turnover Bonanza and the CIndians Yankees game and every time Gwynn talks I think it's that asinine Wendy's commercial.

When the play-by-play man says, "Let's go back and look at the fifth pick..."

Tony Romo just whipped it into triple coverage in the red zone and got picked off immediately AFTER the Cowboys picked off Trent Edwards and nearly returned it for a touchdown.

He DOES have a lot of Favre in him.

Buffalo's up 24-16 in the fourth. Very interesting so far....and Romo just got lazy with the football on a half-scramble and coughed it up...that's five Romonian turnovers so far.

He's habitually bad with ball security.

Check it out...earlier today we opined that the NFC is merely a chewtoy for the AFC but we didn't foresee the Bills using Dallas as a teething ring.

Just before the half in Western New York it's 17-7 Buffalo and Tony Romo's been picked off four times. The third was slapped up in the air by Chris Kelsay and caught in the end zone. Romo also threw picks on the first two attempts of the game and whipped another late in the second.

This is a Buffalo team that's 1-3 coming in against a Cowboys team that's 4-0. And a Buffalo team with rookie Trent Edwards starting in place of J.P. Losman. Edwards is 15 for 19 taking checkdown after checkdown tonight.

Mercy.

Okay, who had Stanford and Notre Dame winning tonight in Los Angeles, because I didn't. Can we please at last agree that this is why college football does no need a playoff? If there were a college football postseason, would the results out of LA, Pasadena and even Champaign (not to mention the outcome of the game I'm witnessing here in Baton Rouge) be creating so much fervor? I say not.

It's great to be here. By the way, Les Miles has gambled four times on fourth down and won all four times. It's been that kind of evening all over college football. The longshots keep coming home.

If the scores hold up this evening--and there's still a 4th quarter to play here in Baton Rouge and elsewhere, I understand, but if the scores hold as they are now--who has the nation's longest winning streak?

If you answered Cincinnati , you'd be right. If the Bearcats, who scored 21 points in the 3rd quarter at Rutgers, hold on for the win, they'll be 6-0 and will have a nine-game winning streak. Who's next after that (again, assuming that LSU loses, which is a monster assumption since it's 24-21, UF)? Boston College and Hawaii with seven game winning streaks.

Can you say, "Landscape shift?"

The p.a. guy here just announced that today there were "more cars and more people on the LSU campus than any time in history". And it sure as heck felt like it. Which is why I'm glad that I arrived four hours before kickoff. Also, this is the largest crowd in the history of Death Valley: 92,910. It's the one advantage of having a story to file: by the time I'm done, the traffic will have pretty much thinned out.

**************

Just wondering: If the Irish hold on to win at UCLA, does this mean I'm off the beat and Alan's on it?

LSU's Kirston Pittman was bearing down on Tim Tebow a moment ago. Tebow Steaks looked like dead meat as he was standing in the pocket, staring downfield. Then he noticed Pittman, and danced away so fluidly it was a thing of beauty to watch. Does any QB have better footwork in the pocket than TT? He's "Dancing With The Stars" material.

A play earlier, Surfer Boy (LSU SS Craig Steltz) made a jarring hit on Florida's Kestahn Moore. It was comical. Moore came barreling through the line, nearly untouched and into the secondary. Steltz, a 6-2 hammer of a player, just stood his ground. Moore barreled into him and fell backwards as if he'd hit a levee (well, untrue, since levees break...we'll go with the old cliche "brick wall" instead). Steltz just moved to the side a little, but not much. Considering Moore had been accelerating and Steltz standing flat-footed, it was a helluva hit.

Maurice Crum just returned a fumble for a Notre Dame score. Irish up 20-6 and if you're thinking what I'm thinking--the Irish's best chance of scoring is when their defense is on the field--you're right.

In case you haven't seen them, Notre Dame's last two scoring drives began at the UCLA 1 and UCLA 2 yard-line. And even then, the Irish only got ten points out of them. Still, it's nearly the 4th quarter and the Irish lead 13-6 in Pasadena. It's their first second-half lead of the season as they attempt to avoid equaling the longest losing streak in school history.

Meanwhile back on the bayou, with the Death Valley throng as loud and rambunctious as it's been all night (thanks to Jim Harbaugh), Tim Tebow just calmly led the Gators on a 75-yard scoring drive. It was capped on a 37-yard TD toss to Cornelius Ingram when strong safety Craig "Surfer Boy" Steltz (really, that's his nickname) bit on another Gator doing an out route and left Ingram all to his lonesome. No one was within ten yards of Ingram when he caught the ball bedhind coverage on about the LSU 20.

The public address announcer here at Tiger Stadium just announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, final score: Stanford 24, Southern Cal 23", and, as expected, the place exploded. Even the LSU sideline exploded, as Tiger players (and even coaches) began waving their arms and towels as well.

Which I'm not sure I understand. Isn't LSU already No. 1? If anyone on this field should be happy about that final out of the L.A. Coliseum, it's the Gators. If they can beat No. 1 LSU here in Death Valley this evening, I'd give them a No. 1 or, at worst, a No. 2 vote.

Stewart Mandel just made a great point. How many greatest upsets of all time can you have in one season? Appalachian State beats (then) No. 5 Michigan? Winless Syracuse beats then No. 8 Louisville? And now 1-4 Stanford, using a backup quarterback (who is the nephew of Jack Thompson, the "Throwin' Samoan") named Tavita Pritchard, shocks--I mean SHOCKS!-- Southern Cal in the Coliseum. I think it's the first USC home loss of the Pete Carroll era. (and Notre Dame is currently ahead of UCLA!).

Wow.

I

LOVE

THIS

GAME!

Dear Alan,

You're at the wrong game in Los Angeles, from what I can tell.

Stanford has first-and-goal at the USC 9 in the final 90 seconds, and are down 23-17. My colleague Stewart Mandel just informed me that, with USC being a 38-point favorite, this would be the biggest upset in history from a gambler's standpoint. All I'm thinkin is, this has to be the biggest thing ever to happen to the Vs. network.

Now it's 4th-and-goal at the USC 5. Can you imagine if Stanford beats No. 2 Southern Cal and if 0-5 Notre Dame beats UCLA on the same night? With both games taking place in the LA area? These are two of the lowliest BCS schools in the nation this season (and, yes, two of the smartest).

Thank God there's a timeout here in Baton Rouge. I'm more distracted right now than I was the first time I met Goldie Hawn...which was the only time I met Goldie Hawn. Long story, for some other time.

LA, how are you holding up?

Crocs--they're the hottest name in footwear. And Gators are related to crocodiles (both belong to the family crocodilia ). So why doesn't Jeremy Foley, the Florida AD, sign a footwear deal with Crocs? And wouldn't it be cool to see football cleats that have pock-marked holes in them? Florida has always been progressive in this realm, after all: they gave us Gatorade. So why not Gators in orange-and-blue Crocs?

At the half, I'm checking out the stats of the 6-3 Notre Dame-UCLA game and thanking my editor Barry (DieBarryDie, to the Johntouragers) for sendimg me to Death Valley instead of the Rose Bowl. I read Alan Abrahamson's blog entries and it sounds as if he needs a hug. Hey, Alan: tell me about it.

At least the Irish defense is showing up.

At halftime here Florida leads 17-7 and while Tim Tebow hasn't been a one-man show, he does lead the Gators in rushing (44 net yards), passing, of course, and touchdowns (one run in, one tossed). LSU has actually outgained the Gators in total yardage, but only by five yards. The difference is Florida has Tebow and LSU doesn't.

Oh, by the way, no kidding here...the LSU band did a salute to J Lo at halftime. I mean....

Hang on for a fun second half...LSU has too many weapons not to close the gap.

Tim Tebow would kick Thor's ass in a battle at Oden. I mean, can you believe this guy? Everyone--even Kirk Herbstreit, who picked Florida to win--was concerned about TT's health if he ran the ball too much against LSU ferocious front four. So what does Tebow do? Run the ball too much--and he is PUNISHING!

Tebow just made scoring on a 3rd-and-goal from the nine look like child's play. He pump-faked, then ran it into the endzone, and into the teeth of the Tiger student section, virtually untouched. I don't know how many of LSU's defenders Tebow is faster than, but he can go from stationary in the pocket to on the run as fast as any QB in the game. He's got the best first tep since Michael Jordan.

Tebow's also a bruising runner. He's just a big, bumptious young calf who just loves contact. I ran into a fellow at the airport yesterday, a Gator alum and season-ticket holder, who told me that last season, whenever Tebow entered the game, his eleven year-old son would suddenlty sit up straight and pay rapt attention. I've got to mainge that there are thousands of ten year-old boys in Florida (and maybe thirty and fifty year-old boys as well) who idolize TT the way kids of generations past revered Joe Montana or John Elway. Tebow's a little like a southpaw Elway, except he seems to enjoy the hitting.

Ryan Perrilloux did not take LSU's first snap of the game, but he did take the second...and third...and the majority of the rest. Perriilloux was considered the nation's top prep quarterback in 2004 (there's only been about two dozen "nation's top quarterback" designates in the past five years), and he is a smoove player. But on 3rd-and-goal at the one Perrilloux attempted to Tebow Florida and was rebuffed.

LSU lined up in a four-wide formation, an empty backfield. Perrilloux took the shotgun snap, looked as if he were going to run it in right, then pulled up and tossed a pass to a wide open Richard Dickson (yes, Dick Dickson; parents can be, well, clueless). It was a nod to the play Tebow did to LSU in his debut versus them last fall. Except that Perrilloux's pass was deflected by the Gators' Jermaine "("It's business time!") Cunningham.

No worries. Perrilloux kept it on an option left on 4th-and-1.

It's 10-7, Florida.

By the way, LSU has its own Ian Johnson in Jacob Hester . The Tiger tailback proposed to his girlfriend outside War Memorial Stadium after LSU beat Arkansas 31-26 last year. Okay, it wasn't exactly the Fiesta Bowl Statue-of-Liberty play climax, but his girlfriend, Katie Tilley, did say yes. They were wed in July. Hester also listens to an Elvis CD to psyche himself up before games. Or before proposals.

Baton Rouge, Mapquest tells me, is 1,185 miles away from Pasadena. But I just felt a pain in my gut. So I checked the Notre Dame-UCLA play-by-play and saw that following a Tom Zbikowski sack of Ben Olson that forced a fumble, Kerry Neal returned it to the UCLA 1 yard-line. First-and-goal at the 1...and the Irish moved backward seven yards in three plays.

If you're scoring (and what an ironic term to use) at home, that's the second time this season that Zibby has given the Irish offense a first-and-goal and the second time that they've had to settle for a field goal because of it.

So it's 3-3, in Pasadena.

Back here on the bayou, Brandon LaFell is making the types of plays that would convince a gambling addict that he's on the take. LaFell has dropped two passes (the first one he tipped up and a Gator intercepted). On a third, an inside screen, LaFell lafell down after gaining 14 yards, but nobody touched him.

Blew By You

How speedy is LSU's 5-5 all-purpose offensive stud, Trindon Holliday? Last spring Holliday broke the LSU 100-meter school record four different times. He was the runner-up in the NCAA 100-meter final with a 10.02, which is insane. And consider how much faster his legs have to move since he's only 5'5"? It's not as if he's making giant bounds out there.

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At the start of the 2nd quarter, Florida is solidly outplaying LSU. Tebeaux has been the stud we'd expect a senior Heisman candidate to be, only he's a sophomore. Florida is about to score--they do!, on an amazing pass by Tebow-- and now, just 1:15 into the second quarter, Florida has already scored more points (10) than LSU averages allowing (6.4) in an entire game.

Florida, 10-0.

Tebow tossed to Kestahn Moore at the last possible moment. How many other QBs could have made that play? Nice shoestring catch by Moore, by the way.

If you want to call what Florida (and LSU, and Illinois, for that matter, as well as others) is doing offensively the "spread option", fine. But I'm old and I'm referring to it as the "single-wing". And the single wing is so old that it was obsolete even when I was a young'un, but it was popular in the 1920s-50s.

About ten years ago I attended a seminar for coaching Single Wing Football in Manitou Springs, Colorado. It was a tiny gaggle of coaches, all of them either at the high school level or Pop Warner level. But they were all devout disciples of the offense, in which the QB takes a shotgun snap, is as likely to run as pass, and does a lot of handing off in which the running back takes the handoff from in front of the QB rather than behind (with the option of the QB to pull the ball back out of his belly). I loved the Single Wing, and watching the films, I couldn't understand why a coach at the college level wouldn't at least try it.

My Single Wing "immersion" was done as a story for SI, and so I asked the coaches why they thought no one at the NFL or major college level would employ the single wing...especiallly since NFL and college teams had used it decades earlier. To a man the coaches said that colleges would be afraid to use it because who'd want to play in an offense in college that the pros never use?

Funny how times change, eh? The spread option is simply a modified, less funky version of the single wing.

Here's what I love...on a day that ESPN has creatively dubbed "Gut Check Saturday", Ralph Friedgen, Phil Fulmer and Mark Mangino were winners. Nice.

It's 7:57 p.m. eastern time. I love this time of week...when Notre Dame still has a chance of winning.

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As I type, LSU mascot Mike VI is being wheeled around Tiger Stadium in a giant cage. Either that or the LSU Theater Dept. is doing a live dramatic interpretation of "Life of Pi" . Yeah, probably the former. All the LSU cheerleaders are seated or standing on the top of the cage. And you can't help but wonder what would happen if their collective girths caused the roof to collapse. Would Mike devour one? Would he be particular about it? Or would he be just too bored by them?

Meanwhile, why don't the Gators travel with a live gator? And what would happen if the gator took on the tiger. Who are you taking? That's entirely a home turf advantage, I'm thinking.

Okay, here are some actual pre-game notes from someone who wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now (as the loudspeaker here blares Elton John's "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting"):

--Les Miles and Urban Meyer are both in their third seasons at LSU and Florida, respectively. Miles has won 27 games with the Tigers, Meyer 26 with the Gators. Only Pete Carroll has won as many games as Miles since the beginning of 2005 and if only UF had not stubbed their toe versus Auburn last Saturday, they'd be part of that crew, too.

--LSU is ranked No. 1 in the AP poll for the first time since 1959.

--With Wisconsin's loss at Illinois this afternoon, LSU now has the nation's longest winning streak (12 games)

--Tony Joiner is not a felon. He is simply a devoted boyfriend. Cut him some slack.

--In the past ten years, only one school has has defeated two teams ranked No. 1 in the AP poll: Florida. The Gators did so by beating Florida State in the '97 Sugar Bowl and Ohio State in the '07 BCS Championship Game.

--In the 120 times an AP No. 1 has been defeated or tied, no school has ever been the one to do so twice in succession (that is, before someone else did). Florida, the last school to beat a No. 1 (the Buckeyes last January), has that opportunity tonight.

--LSU is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LOUD. Don't let anyone tell you their stadium is louder. Death Valley is like listening to The Cult on Bose headphones.

--Urban Meyer is about to coach his 79th game and only once in that span has his team lost consecutive games. His career record is 65-13.

--Tiger Stadium is the only one I know of that has the yardlines numbered in increments of five (i.e., "30", "35", "40", etc.). I like that.
--73% of Florida's scholarship players are either freshmen or sophomores, but the Gators are not 0-5. I'm just sayin'...

Greetings from sunny and sweltering Baton Rouge...but then from what I've been hearing most every town east of the Mississippi River today (and LSU is located on the east bank of such) has been experiencing heat wave conditions today. Somewhere Al Gore's saying, "I told you so."

I love LSU, the school. It's no hyperbole. No fans tailgate better or tastier (I must have stared into half a dozen jambalaya pots this afternoon, just for a whiff...sorry about the sneeze on that one, buddy) and, to steal an old joke, this campus red-shirts Miss USAs. And you can tell that Baton Rouge is a college town, even if you're not on campus. How do I know? Last night I drove past the local CVS and the marquee read: "Ping Pong Balls, $1.99 six-pack".

And if that makes no sense to you, ask someone you know under thirty years old.

As I said, I'm loving it here. If I lived full-time in Baton Rouge, I'd be two bills, at least. For lunch today I went to Mike Anderson's and had crawfish etouffee, grilled oysters, crawfish tails, fried green tomatoes and alligator tails. All that and they were showing the Wisconsin-Illinois game on the tube. Who needs Christmas? I've got college football.

After an hour or so of sauntering around Death Valley-- all the best student tailgates are held by the Indian mounds, in case you ever visit...and you should--I'm now in the press box. My man Stewart Mandel (see previous blog) from SI.com is my neighbor to my immediate left and my other man, Eric Sorenson of CSTV (which is not to be confused with SCTV, which gave us the immortal Guy Caballero, among others) is to my immediate right. In other words, I'm flanked by more knowledgeable college football writers than me.

Let me beat you to it: Why should this Saturday be any different?

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Non-heartwarming family moment of the afternoon: Seeing an LSU dad walking with his five year-old son, hand in hand. Except that the father was wearing a T-shirt that read, "Teabag Tebow". Wow, that's harsh.

Watching "College GameDay" this morning on ESPN (which originated from here), I was mildly surprised to see Kirk "He's So Dreamy" Hirbstreit pick Florida tonight. The plan for the Gators, or at least what all of us know-nothings assume to be UF's plan, is to spread the field the way they did last January in the BCS Championship Game. I guess my question would be, Why didn't the Gators have that plan last Saturday?

But it would only seem logical--you don't have to be Mr. Spock or Dr. Spock or Jonas Salk to realize as much-- that you don't send your franchise to run between the tackles twenty times versus what is by far the best defensive front four in the nation (or the AFC South, for that matter).

Then again, maybe Hirbstreit is just suffering battle fatigue and that's why he took the Gators. I mean, there should be a contest to see who ESPN wears down first: Hirbstreit, or Erin Andrews. Hirbie has it worse, methinks. Each Saturday morning he does GameDay with Fowler and Corso and then must bonzo out of that campus to another game hundreds and hundreds of miles away to do the 8 p.m. ABC game with Brent Musberger.

Which leads you to wonder: Is this on the ABC corporate jet or the ESPN corporate jet? Or is it simply a Disney corporate jet? Or is it on Dumbo?

Erin Andrews, she doesn't have it easy, either. Thursday and Saturday games, and I assume various ribbon-cutting ceremonies and ship-christenings the rest of the week. Be careful, Erin.

We're watching the end of the Arizona State-Wazzu game on the press box TV here. ASU's Rudy Carpenter just got sacked on third down on what looked to be an obvious five-yard facemask penalty on the Cougar (since when do they name teams after hot-to-trot divorcees?) who sacked him. The referee, standing right in front of the tackle, did not throw a flag. Gotta be the same dude who called Matt Holliday safe on Monday.

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Notre Dame's motto since Charlie Weis arrived has been "Tradition Never Graduates". I was speaking with my buddy Randy, an ND alum, the other day and he suggested the new motto be, "Our Running Back Does Not Necessarily Need To Graduate".

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Fall From Grace Jones

So Marion Jones cheated. Knock me down with a feather. Lance Armstrong, you're on the clock.

Actually, I was a little tired the other day when I heard first about Florida's Tony Joiner (early nominee for "Boyfriend of the Year") and then the Marion Jones mea culpa. And I got a little confused and thought they were telling me that Mario Joyner had just confessed to using "the clear". Why would the host of MTV's "Half Hour Comedy Hour" need to be on the juice, I wondered.

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Are you watching this? Wazzu's kicker is named Romeen Abdollmohammadi . How many points is that surname in "Scrabble"? That's 15 letters. Cool. If he doesn't mind, I'm just going to call him RoAb. Oh, and RoAB just missed a potential game-tying 46-yard field goal. Arizona State wins and goes to 6-0 with the Fighting Willinghams up next. We could very well be looking at a showdown of unbeatens, Cal and ASU, on October 27th in Tempe.

You know how you can tell if you've been watching too much Division Series baseball? If you think you see Frank Caliendo in the backseat of the Sonic guys' car, then you've been watching too much.

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Yet another surreal experience on this Friday's flight, the destination being New Orleans, La. Earlier in the week I bought Bowls, Polls and Tattered Souls , written by my former SI colleague Stewart Mandel. And so, whom do I see as I board the Delta Airlines flight at Laguardia? Disco Stew himself. What better way to greet an old colleague than to pull his book out of your backpack?

So I have to tell you, I'm just three chapters into Stewart's book and IT IS FANTASTIC. If you're a diehard college football fan, you need to read this book. It's a fantastic primer on all the aspects of college football that people just don't quite fully understand, from the anarchy that is the BCS to the geek heaven alchemy that is recruiting analysis to the glut of bowls no one (except the teams involved, and sometimes not even them) cares about.

And Stewart mixes in just the right amount of funny in the right places. In a chapter entiteld "What's The Deal With Notre Dame?" (no, I did not read this chapter first...I read it third, even though it's Chapter 5), he wryly suggests that Grantland Rice's ballyhooed lede for the 1924 Army-Notre Dame contest ("Outlined against a blue-gray October sky...") was better than the USA Today's : "Notre Dame stomped Army yesterday. See full story, Page C9."

I laughed.

What I am finding unintentionally funny so far, having read just three chapters, is how many times the phrase "(and) Notre Dame" must be used for Stewart to explain the college football proces. A typical example, from page 28: "One group not quite as thrilled by the news was the original BCS commissioners (and Notre Dame)."

Honestly, through just three chapters I've seen "(and Notre Dame)" at least five times. At least. Domers, this is why THEY hate you.

On the other hand, Stewart's book is ten chapters long and one chapter, or 10% of it, is devoted to Notre Dame (the aforementioned chapter). And this coming from Mandel, a Northwestern alum. I guess my point is that for reasons I won't try to enumearate here (though the all-encompassing term "mystique" does as fine a job as any term in explaining it), Notre Dame is always on people's minds. You want to say Notre Dame is just another one of the 119 Division I-A institutions who play football? Fine. I agree. And in fact, this year, they're one of the worst. But then tell me why Stewart Mandel, who is a fair and objective college football writer and certainly no Irish homer, devotes one of his ten chapters to explaining the man behind the curtain in South Bend.

The book is terrific, though. Great job, Stewart.

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I flew to New Orleans in order to be in Baton Rouge. That's right; after having personally watched Notre Dame lose seven consecutive games, I have, to quote Popeye, "had's all's I can stands and I can't stands it no more." Or something like that.

So I'll be in Death Valley tomorrow night watching Tebow Steaks as he attempts not to get cut up against the most dangerous defense in America (Brady Quinn was the last quarterback to start and finish a game versus LSU. My esteemd partner, Alan Abrahamson , will shepherd you through the coverage at the Rose Bowl.

Notre Dame Bits of Tid:

--Defensive end Trevor Laws leads all defensive linemen nationally in tackles. Which is a good thing for Laws (8.2 tackles per game) but also a symptom of an underwhelming linebacker corps. No offense to Mo Crum, who's second on the Irish in tackles and has always been the smallest LB on the field, but the rest of the front seven need to step up. Because you can imagine that most teams are not running at Laws.

--Which program has the least number of returning lettermen on its squad, according to NDNation.com? That's right, the Irish.

--It's gotten so bad that even Jay Leno cracked wise on the Irish the other night. He noted that Notre Dame lost to Purdue...not the Big Ten school, the chicken processor.

--Don't know how to include it here, but my friend Smo sent me an hilarious MP3 audio done by The Score. It's a spoof of the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" ads paying tribute to "Mr. Delusional Irrational Notre Dame Football Fan". If you can find it, it's hilarious. And if you're a Notre Dame fan or alum (as I am) and you can't laugh at this, maybe you're just taking this all a little too seriously. If someone knows how to send this to me so that I can provide a link here, I'll gladly do it.

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Alright, Frank Caliendo is now making me laugh. Taking on both Al Pacino ("Does somebody think there's two Octobers?") and Robin Williams ("Good Will Bunting").

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My great college friend Randy (a former ND LAXer) got us tickets to see the opening show of Bruce Springsteen's latest (but probably not last) tour in Hartford, Conn. And we had fun, Randy and I, but we didn't make news. Apparently, though, some friends of mine did....

http://www.courant.com/features/lifestyle/hc-nujavatop1004.artoct04,0,6453873.column

Steve Rushin himself sent me the clip, and being Steve, he used the most appropriate Springsteen tune (I know, I know, Barry: Jimmy Cliff wrote it), as his email header: "Trapped".

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"Rumors that Kenny Lofton's on the move again...to third base." Ooooooooh, that's gotta hurt. But good idea, there, Kenny, trying to steal third with two out.

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What do you call a movie about a jury composed entirely of homosexual ranch hands?

Twelve Ang Lee Men

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/basketball/nba/10/02/isiah.trial.ap/index.html?cnn=yesTHIS GUY is having a bad week. Really bad. Isiah, tsk tsk.

Xavier Lee named ACC Co-Player of the Week.

Boy threw for 224 yards, 2 TD's and rushed for 59 yards in a win over Alabama. He also got the starting job this weekend against NC State. Plus, when asked to speak about Drew Weatherford he commented on Weatherfords support throughout the game. He even remarked that it was Drew with the huge smile on his face during the game.

Loves it.