"OOH, OOH, BLOOD DIAMOND!"

HBO is airing Blood Diamond this month, which I never saw in "theatrical release".
It's a good flick, but now I cannot get that KISS song out of my head Then again, who would want to get a KISS song out of his head?

"Blood Diamond" can be heavy-handed at times (Jennifer Connelly, who has never eclipsed her perfromance in Roy Orbison's "Drive All Night" video, spews lines such as, "This whole continent is suffering, why should I help one person?....I can't believe I just said that."), but suddenly I don't feel as awful about never having bought an engagement ring.

As for the moral high ground aspect of the story, the characters draw the line from veritable slave laborers (who are black Africans) being made to mine diamonds to dreamy-eyed brides who want that huge rock on their fingers...and create the market for which these men are exploited. Which is true, but what about the bling-wearing rappers? There's a certain irony/tragedy to that aspect of the chain. Although I do like the line when Leo tells the strait-laced Connelly, "Back there (in the USA) it's bling-bling. Over here it's bling-bang."

And how come Leo DiCaprio has to die in so many films? Titanic was only the tip of the iceberg (forced chuckle time). There's also The Departed and now Blood Diamond. I can't remember now. Did they kill him off in Growing Pains ?

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Your mileage may vary, but I timed the final play of the "Mississippi Miracle" and it lasted 61 seconds according to my watch. So I was thinking. One of the first things you notice when you watch the 15-lateral masterpiece is that the Millsaps defenders seem to "quit" on the play. Before you come to that conclusion, you have to take into account the following:

1. A normal football play that begins from the line of scrimmage (as opposed to a punt or kickoff) lasts about five to seven seconds. That is, from the snap of the ball until the play is whistled dead.
2. Consider hockey substitions. A normal line shift in the NHL occurs after about 45 to 55 seconds. Those are professional athletes, highly conditioned studs. Not Division III football players.
3. The defense had already played 59:58 worth of a sixty-minute game. Granted, they weren't on the field that entire time, but chances are that the Majors' players were already gassed.
4. In the Cal-Stanford game that everyone cites, those were special teams guys on the field. They were fresher. Because this play started from the line of scrimmage, this was a starting defense (and, yes, offense) who, as noted above, were already tired.
5. Have you ever played a football game in full pads? If so, you know how much harder it is to run around in that equipment. Especially for 61 seconds. Go back just a few weeks ago, Vikings at Cowboys, when a Viking defensive lineman scooped up a Cowboy fumble and rumbled about sixty yards to paydirt. That took less than a dozen seconds, and yet they had to give him oxygen. A trainer ran to the end zone and poured cups of water on him to cool him down.
Granted, the Millsaps defenders did not sprint on a dead run for the entire play, but 61 seconds of keepaway, while in full football gear, is way beyond what players are expected to do.

So how come the Trinity players weren't gassed? First, they were. But secondly, they didn't all have to run. Only the guy with the ball ever really had to sprint. The rest of them just needed to jog close enough for the ballcarrier to pitch it to them.

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Latest can't-miss-entrepeneurial idea: A superhero-themed bowling alley named Lois Lanes . Each lane would be dedicated to a different superhero, for example. And the pins could be villains. We'll definitely have one of these built in itsnotaboutu.

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Finally, my favorite non-cable sitcom these days is How I Met Your Mother . A recent episode involved a character, Ted Mosby, having the same name as a porn star ("He's your doppelganger"..."He's my doppelbanger!"). Not only was it a hilarious conceit that allowed for a slew of cheap jokes throughout the 22 minutes, but it reminded me of a real-life situation. A friend of mine had his named by a fellow family member who was starring in a cinemax film but didn't want that film on his imdb.com resume. So he used the name of my friend (the actor's in-law). I'll probably get in some trouble if I reveal the name of the movie or the nom de porn, but I hope my friend saw this episode.

Here's a funny "Television Without Pity" recap. Enjoy it while I go in search of Welcome to the Sex Plane in my porn library.

http://televisionwithoutpity.com/portal/site/TelevisionWithoutPity/menuitem.766266d5c663f366b180b41045001d30/?vgnextoid=cfab8193f3fe5110VgnVCM1000006dc1d240RCRD&ShowName=How+I+Met+Your+Mother