December 2007 Archives

My good pal Steve Rushin, who is never not funny, has a little game going on his blog (Steverushin.com) entreating readers to come up with names for their own mythical home-brewed beers. Here are my three suggestions:

Milton Friedman Macro-Brew

Spotted Owl Lager Heads

Randolph Mantooth Rampart's Last Gleaming

One halftime stat that Tim Brant will not give you: Ray Ratto is wearing a sweater with not one but two stains on it. And the stains appear to be older than half the players on the field. Ray Ratto. Terrific writer. But that has to be an all-time top ten name for a spotswriter, along with Damon Hack (who's not).

Other apt sports names:

Brian Cashman, GM, Yankees

Rob Tobias, Media Relations, ESPN

I'll wait for G.A. to provide more.

Sorry I was away for a few moments. Had to call a self-imposed "media timeout." I'm a little under the weather. And yet, given the altitude of this press box, I'm also over the weather. Dazed and confused (which was also set in Texas).

Just came upon a sign here in the press box that I'm hoping to pilfer: "HOT DOGS FOR MEDIA ONLY". That's not a sign; that's the working title of my autobiography.

Enough about me.

Cal has come back because someone over on their sideline realized that they can pass and Air Force cannot (Air Force is really a ground force). The Falcons have just 17 passing yards at the half on two completions, which is Kye Israel-like. In the second quarter Cal was able to put the Falcons in 3rd-and-long situations by taking away the pitch on the option. The best way for Air Force to counterac that is to keep the safeties honest by tossing deep, but that has yet to happen.

Kevin Riley is 9-11 since taking over for Longshore. His counterpart, Shaun Carney, may only have 17 yards passing but he does have a game-high 102 yards rushing.

They had a different type of induction ceremony at halftime here. You know how football games often use timeouts and halftimes to induct fading heroes into a Hall of Fame of some note? Well, today they inducted a couple dozen young men and women into the military. Right here. They should be in Qatar by the 4th quarter.

This idea has possibilities. Notre Dame and Boston College should look into ordaining priests during halftime next season. I'd watch.

The Air Force falcon is currently performing his halftime show, which consists of flying around the stadium and not pooping on anyone. That bird better be careful. Birds that large don't fly far in this part of the world without getting shot at.

The Air Force marching band is performing now. Give them this: they stay in formation extremely well.

Chad Henning is hanging out in the press box. Former Air Force All-American linebacker, former Dallas Cowboy. Military veteran, of course. He looks like Dolph Lundgren's bigger, tougher brother. In a battle of celebrity alums, I'll take Henning over Adam Duritz...unless Simon Cowell is judging.

If these jokes seem lamer than usual, I'm working on two hours' sleep. If they appear just as lame as normal, maybe I'll just keep getting two hours' sleep. After last night's Independence Bowl I drove from Shreveport to Fort Worth ("Where The West Begins" is the motto). Arriving at 3:45 a.m., I attempted to check into a hotel.

"You're going to check in now just to have me check you out at 11 a.m.?" asked the desk clerk, clearly not happy to be signing someone in.

"Unless my rental car has a shower that no one told me about, I believe I will."

He handed me a Vingt card with a grunt.

Finished writing the story at 7:10 a.m., slept for two hours and here I am. And the good news is that tomorrow's Cotton Bowl begins at 10:30 a.m. local time. I plan on being asleep when the ball drops in Times Square this evening, but I doubt too many ticket-holders for tomorrow's game will be. If Cotton Bowl officials are smart, there will be an Advil concessions stand.

You would love Amon T. Carter Field here on the campus of Texas Christian. At least I think you would. I do. It's just the right size, with both end zones open, and right on campus. Natural grass, too.

By the way, Air Force is pulling an Alabama here in the second quarter. The score was 21-0 when Jeff Tedford yanked Nate Longshore, a junior, in favor of freshman Kevin Riley. Cal is driving and about to make it a 21-14 game shortly before halftime (note to self: these games go much faster when you oversleep and arrive after one quarter; of course, it's tough to explain oversleeping on those 8 p.m. starts.

Riley just hit LaVelle Hawkins for a 7-yard TD pass. Da Bears' gifted wideouts (Hawkins and DeSean Jackson) are playing up to their capabilities and now it's a game.

21-14, Falcons.

Okay, the name of the game is the Armed Forces Bowl after all. If you're Cal, maybe you receive the invite, see that your dance partner is Air Force, and kindly beg out saying were going to be washing your hair that day.

Regardless, you do not want this game, this opponent. Air Force is the second-ranked rushing team in the nation and, besides, have you ever seen how far the closest watering hole to the barracks is? Colorado Springs is not Berkeley. So this is the biggest excitement, outside of shooting guns and flying jets, that these cadets have to look forward to for awhile.

Air Force has both an altitude and an attitude advantage.

And it's showing: 21-0, Falcons. I tsee one half of the sunny side of the field completely filled with the royal blue of the academy. I even think I see Majors Nelson and Healy over there. For Cal? You couldn't fill a freshman anthropology class with the number of Bear fans I see. I'm not even sure Adam Duritz is here. Will look for him later, though.

Quarterback change: Nate Longshore out for Cal; Kevin Riley in.

Howdy, Bowlnanzans, from HIGH atop Amon T. Carter Field in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm looking toward the northwest from my press box perch, and I think I just witnessed a mugging in Amarillo. Altitude? I had to look down during the pre-game military flyover (fly-under?). The captain has advised us not to use any of our "portable electrical devices" until this press box climbs to a safer altitude, but I'm going ahead and blogging anyway.

So it's just after noon local time, on yet another Sunshine Studly Bowlnanza day. Seriously, every dang day of this 'nanza has been beautiful. I'm sorry if it's not that way where you are. Come along for the ride with me next time.

Anyway, Air Force leads 14-0 early in the second quarter. If you figured that a service academy team would come in properly disciplined and eager to be off post, while a 6-6 Pac-10 team that has lost six of its last seven games and was briefly (for about three hours) considerered the No. 1 team in the country in October might be a little emotionally flat, well, you guessed right.

And as I was typing that cumbersome sentence, the Golden Bears just fumbled away the kickoff. It may be 21-0, Air Force, very soon.

At halftime the game's leading rusher is Alabama's Glen Coffee (12 rushes, 48 yards). He is totally caffeinated!

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Umpire Mike Rhoades was injured in the first half and is being taken to the hospital with a rotator cuff injury. The irony, as our kindly P.A. announcer noted, is that Rhoades was set to retire after tonight's game.

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Tonight's sideline reporter: Stacey Dales-Not-Shuman, who currently is ranked in our top five of Blonde Canadians (ahead of Pamela Anderson, but behind Sarah Chalke).

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Why are you watching Colts-Titans? That's mental! You should be watching the Independence Bowl. By the way, does anyone know how come there is still a Liberty Bowl and an Independence Bowl but there is no longer a Freedom Bowl? Is it because "freedom isn't free"?

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Why you should be watching the Independence Bowl: because it was a year and a day ago that Texas Tech overcame the largest deficit in bowl history, 28 points, to defeat Minnesota in overtime (and help cost Glen Mason, a.k.a. Robert Culp, his job). Bowlnanza was there (yes, I'm now referring to myself both in the third person and as an inanimate object, though, being a sportswriter I technically am).

Tonight CU fell behind 27-0, but it's now 27-14 and the Buffs are threatening to score...whereas midway through the first half we all were threatening to snore.

Alright, my babies, I'm going down to the field for a bit to collect some photographs for y'all.

Had an interesting drive from Memphis to Shreveport this afternoon. It was yet another gorgeous blue-sky, Sunshine Studly day, by the way. About an hour into Arkansas on I-40, I passed a large windowless, aluminum-sided building. The sign outside read "OPEN 24 HOURS" and there was a huge, tall sign closer to the road sporting nothing but three large red "X's".

"Should I see what that's alll about?" I asked my good friend Mike, who was on the Crackberry with me.

"You do NOT wanna do that," he assured me. "They may be having a Sunday 'Deliverance' special at the expense of all Yankees. A 'Yankee Yank Ye'."

"Yeah, I'll avoid that."

I stopped in Forrest City next, where they had a Bonanza. All efforts to have them slightly alter the sign (It needs a "w" and an "l") were kindly refused. At the local Shell station they were having a "KNIFE SALE". No lie. I totally should have jumped on that.

Also passed through Hope, Arkansas (birthplace of Hillary's husband), and Texarkana...which produced Jeff Keith, lead singer of Tesla (although, unlike President Clinton, there is no sign on the highway commemorating this occasion).

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Independents Bowl

If they can have an Independence Bowl between a pair of .500 teams--sending the not-so-subtle message that freedom is all about breaking even--, why not have an Independents Bowl? We'll pit the two top independent schools in Division I-A against one another every year and Ralph Nader can do the pre-game coin toss. Sure, there are only three independents in I-A, but let's not quibble over details. We can quibble over whether Army or Notre Dame, both of whom finished 3-9 this season, would have been more deserving to face Navy.

No. Why quibble? Give it to Army.

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Jordon Dizon Fun Fact: Dizon, Colorado's inside linebacker and the nation's leading tackler (107 solo tackles) is a graduate of Waimea High School on the Hawaiian island of Kauai. Waimea is the westernmost high school in the United States. It's facts such as that always make the CU media guide the most interesting one in all of the NCAA. That's because of CU SID/associate AD Dave Plati , who is now in his 30th season in Boulder.

How long has Dave been there? He was the SID when my man Ryan Walters' dad played there from 1986-89. And yes, I just realized that I'm not just old enough to be Ryan Walters' dad, I'm older than his dad.

As Alabama lays waste to Colorado (it's 27-0 midway through the second quarter), here are some leftovers from Memphis for you to nibble on:

1. Mississippi State back-up quarterback Michael Henig is, yes, of the Henig Furs empire of Montgomery, Alabama. Locals tell me that he first arrived on campus in Starkville driving a Hummer and wearing a fur coat. Why you'd need a fur coat in Starkville--or Montgomery--or if you're a college student (this isn't 1953, after all) is not clear.

Henig Furs...meeting all of Dixie's fur needs "for four generations".

Oh, and they have coyote furs, too, should you want one. But don't listen to me. Go to:

http://henigfurs.com/
(Just heard "Walters on the tackle" again...not a good sign)

2. The Bulldogs have a freshman defensive end named Jazzmen Guy who looks nothing, absolutely nothing, like this:

http://www.cmpsouthwest.org/Artists%20Large%20copy/JAssexyhoriz.jpg

Guy was a stud in high school, but he's finding out that it's a different world in college. You know what I mean?

(Walters just intercepted John Parker Wilson! I love this kid! I'm already checking out genealogy websites to see how closely we're related).

3. I searched a little, but I was still unable to find out who the other Eric Riley is. The Bulldogs have a wide-out named Co-Eric Riley, but his co-llaborator is unknown. His mom is named Erica, though.

4. UCF head coach George O'Leary had a fantastic quote about his star running back, Kevin Smith: "He's a stand-up guy in a sit-down world."
Don't you love that? Don't you wanna use that yourself? I think I will.

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ESPN just flashed a cool stat on the TV screen: Alabama has allowed touchdowns on all 15 of its goal-to-go defensive possessions this season. That is, by definition, worst in the NCAA (along with Clemson). And so what happens? On 3rd-and-goal Cody Hawkins finds tight end Tyson DeVree for a touchdown.

It's now 27-7, Bama. And let's not forget who got it all started...my man, Ryan Walters!

Holy Pat Conroy! Alabama has a linebacker named Prince Hall , which makes him the Prince of Tide. I'm way ahead of you, G.A.: there's nobody on the roster named Santini, either good or great.

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Because Alabama is moving the ball at will on the Buffs ("Horniest Mascot" Alert!), Colorado's secondary is having to make a high number of tackles. And the Buffs' free safety, Ryan Walters, is making most of them. So in the press box I'm hearing, "Tackle made by Walters" more than a little. Which makes me sit up a little straighter...and bow my neck, for safety. Ryan Walters....he's got an inside track at All-Bowlnanza Team mention.

And don't even go accusing me of nepotism. Or name-itism. If Mack Brown can have his stepson field fumbles and CU coach Dan Hawkins can start his son at quarterback (it's 20-0, Bama, late in the first quarter, by the way), then this Ryan Walters fiasco is small potatoes...

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Arizona
Delaware
Idaho
Nevada
Oregon
Texas
Utah

What of them? Those are the other seven states, besides the two schools playing tonight, that go consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel etc. Is there a term for that? Any linguists out there?

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Someone should spend a gameday with the unlucky souls who operate the press box elevators on game day. Now, I don't exactly know why we need an elevator operator, but I do believe that sitting in a cramped space, with no windows, ferrying sportswriters up and down all day is a hell not even Dante conjured.

So I'm riding up the elevator a few minutes earlier and a bowl official began making small talk with our elevator operator, a sweet young woman of college age. He told her that he empathized with her plight. Her good-natured answer: "It's alright. I'm very compactible."

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By the way, I parked my car and just as I opened my door heard the wave of noise that accompanies an opening kickoff. Lucky this is only a game between a pair of 6-6 teams...which brings up an important question, being that I'm in a town with no shortage of casinos. If you're playing blackjack and hit a pair of 6's, should you split 'em? I mean, you'd never do that ordinarily, but with Colorado and Alabama in town, should you do it in their honor?

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Newest pet peeve: The term "Media Timeout". When there is a stoppage in play because of a TV commercial, we in the press box hear the P.A. announcer say that there's time is being called for "a media timeout". Um, no. Don't blame me for the interminable game length. The media isn't calling the timeout. ESPN or Fox or ABC or CBS is. Or, on Saturdays from South Bend, NBC. On those days you can blame me. Otherwise, no.

I do love how it used to be "TV timeout" but how suddenly, and quite diabolically, it's been changed to "media timeout". They hoped we wouldn't notice. We have.

Fashionably late to the Independence Bowl. On Markazi Time. Should've gone west on I-20 instead of east on I-20 when I hit Shreve Vegas driving south from Texarkana. If anyone saw an idiot making a U-Turn on the grass median on I-20 about ten miles east of Shreve earlier this evening, hey, I apologize....

Second play of overtime: Tavaris Jackson is crunched, fumbles, Broncos recover at the Vikings 13.

Third play: Jason Elam field goal to win it.

The Vikings score twice in about three minutes late in the fourth, convert two two-point conversions and -- at the end of regulation, it's tied, 19-19.

Are you kidding?

More relevant: Washington 27, Dallas 6.

Since the team that wins the coin toss generally wins these NFL overtime games, here we go: Vikings win the toss.

With the Vikings down 17-3 in Denver and the Redskins up 20-3 in Maryland, you can mark down the Redskins as being headed for Seattle for a Wild Card game.

So that's basically settled, but what about the Cowboys? Since going up on the Brett Favre-led Packers 27-10 on November 29 it's been ugly for them.

They have a one-point win over the Lions a 10-6 loss to the Eagles and a 20-10 win over the woeful Panthers. Now they're going to lose to the Redskins and, while the game doesn't matter in terms of seeding, they were down 20-3 when Tony Romo left the game.

This team isn't going to the Super Bowl without tickets.

You know, when the NFL season is over, it's always a bummer.

But a game like this, Minnesota and Denver-- at least through three quarters -- is the kind that almost makes one pine for "American Gladiators."

Well, almost.

The stands here at Invesco Field at Mile High appear to be no more than half full. If that. Savvy consumers. Plus, it's getting cold. The temperature must have dropped 15 degrees since game time. The lights are on. It's dreary and gray.

Denver gets a field goal to make it 17-3 midway through the third quarter.

And that's the way the quarter ends, 17-3.

Brandon Marshall's 8-yard reception along the right sideline as the quarter drew near an end was his 100th of the season.

Oh, and Washington just scored again. The Redskins now lead Dallas, 20-3.

A long, cold winter in Minnesota is 15 minutes away from being that much longer.

Is it time yet for the Cowboys to put an eye toward the future and get guys like Romo, Witten, Marion Barber and DeMarcus Ware out?

Or is the Giants precedent set last night of continuing a fight once punches have been thrown going to enter into this game?

It's 10-3 Washington with less than a minute left in the second quarter and the Skins about to get the ball near midfield.

Sloppy, sloppy game.

And if this is Minnesota's playoff push -- ugh.

The Vikes lose a first-quater touchdown on Chester Taylor's reversed-on-review fumble out of the end zone.

Then another decent-looking Minnesota drive yields only a Ryan Longwell field goal -- instead of a touchdown -- at the start of the second.

After which, predictably, Denver comes right back to score, the TD coming on a 15-yard Jay Cutler to Brandon Marshall pass, Marshall making a leaping grab along the left side of the end zone.

The Vikings follow that with a three and out.

On the next Minnesota series, Troy Williamson finds himself wide wide wide open, way way way behind the Denver secondary. Vikings quarterback Tavaris Jackson launches a missile, the ball going way way way out there, right to Williamson.

Who drops it.

Two plays later, Taylor, Mr. Let's Fumble Today, fumbles for the second time today, the ball recovered by Denver at the Minnesota 48.

On the very next play, Cutler, scrambling, finds Marshall in the middle of the field. After catching the ball, he is popped by Chad Greenway, and fumbles -- and, things going just this way for Minnesota, recovers his own fumble. First and 10, Denver, at the Minnesota 37.

A 31-yard touchdown run by Denver's Selvin Young two plays after that? Called back. Holding.

Never mind.

Five plays later, Denver punches it in, Cutler to tight end Tony Sheffler for 2 yards. 14-3.

Minnesota's offensive sequence thereafter: awful. Three and out. Less than a minute off the clock. Denver gets the ball back. The Broncos stay in their half of the field as the second quarter ends.

Oh, and in Washington, the Redskins lead Dallas, 10-3.

The Vikings' Ryan Longwell just booted a chip shot of a field goal, 14:51 left in the second quarter, to put Minnesota ahead.

To say that the excitement of this game is underwhelming would itself be an understatement.

Midway through the first, Minnesota appeared to have scored on a 3-yard Chester Taylor run, the referees ruling he had broken the plane before fumbling.

But on replay the call was reversed.

No score -- and Bronco ball.

Denver, predictably, did nothing with the turnover. The Bronco offense has been, um, uninspiring.

To no one's surprise.

Herre in Denver, the Vikings and Broncos kick it off in about 10 minutes.

If the Vikings are to make the playoffs -- let's put the arcane stuff about ties aside -- Dallas has to beat Washington.

The Dallas-Washington and Minnesota-Denver games go off at the same time.

The Vikings could have avoided all this, of course, if they had beaten Washington last week.

But Washington, with Todd Collins making like Sonny Jurgensen, whomped the Vikes.

So now the Vikings have to win here and hope the Cowboys have enough motivation to beat the Redskins -- at FedEx Field.

Not likely.

But that's why they play the games, right?

Safety Patrick Watkins, corner Terence Newman, center Andre Gurode, wideout Terrell Owens and nose tackle Jay Ratliff all will sit today.

Calvin Watkins of the Dallas Morning News told me that all of them except maybe Owens would play if this game had meaning for the Cowboys.

LANDOVER, Maryland - It's absolutely pouring here at Fedex Field. That's going to make for a slow and sloppy track in what is practically a must-win game for the Redskins against the Cowboys .

I say practically because if the Saints lose (and their down 24-17 to Chicago) and the Broncos beat the Vikings, Washington will walk into the playoffs.

Some of you might not remember but professional boxing used to be really interesting.

Every great fighter carried with him an air of invincibility when he stepped into the ring. Some were encircled by it. Yet once the fight began, the air would lift leaving behind just that boxer and his challenger. And he would be tested. Often the test would be exceedingly easy. Other times, when it wasn't supposed to be particularly tough, it would turn out a whole lot different.

And the air would vibrate with anticipation. Could it? Would it? Is this the night? Is this the time?

Eventually, the answer would come. But that feeling you had when you didn't know? When you were having your notions reconfigured? They were golden.

And that's the way this game between the Giants and Patriots has felt. A meaningless game for an imaginary title.

And it's been a figurative war.

Randy Moss drops an underthrown bomb from Tom Brady. It was a certain record-breaker for Brady and Moss. And, more importantly, was to be the score that pushed the Patriots on top for the first time since the second quarter.

It had the feel of a groin kick to the Pats. One play later, Brady went back to Moss, the coverage got blown and the most athletically gifted receiver in the history of the sport was left alone. Touchdown.

Records fall. Patriots lead, 31-28 with 9:59 remaining.

He's 14 for 20 for 198 yards but is just playing so intelligently. Now some of that may have to do with the fact the Patriots didn't lay a glove on him until the final minute of the third quarter sacking him to ruin the last Giants drive.

Either way, he's been remarkably good. Meanwhile, Brady's quietly gone 24 for 30 in the first three quarters.

Oh, and nobody's talking about touchdown records right now.

New England is down 28-16 after a precise Giants drive that went 60 yards in seven plays and ended with a 19-yard TD pass to Plaxico Burress who made a terrific leaning catch in the end zone.

The Pats went three-and-out quietly to start the second half.

There's 9:12 left in the third. The biggest deficit New England faced before this one was down 20-10 to the Colts back in Week 8.

Everlasting Blogstalker G.A. is chilling in El Paso, and his thoughts turned to THAT song with Memphis in its title. Here's his effort:

well, o'leary plays it conservative
and sylvester's just as bland
the knights just hope for field goals
croom's afraid he might get canned

and the ghost of barry sanders
has never heard of kevin smith
as he silent-bobs for countless yards
only adding to his myth

well i'm blogging in memphis
i'm blogging even as it gets more lame
yeah, i'm blogging in memphis
but do i even care who wins this game?

so the patriots can't be beaten
this game's worse than crystal meth
but i'm blogging on as it's my job
give me liberty, give me death

yeah i'm blogging in memphis
i'm blogging from a game with zero appeal
yeah i'm blogging in memphis
was it really worth the pregame meal?

Don't you love it when G.A. does my job better than I do?

Walken In Memphis

One last nod to Christopher Walken before we leave the Liberty Bowl...and the reasons to mention him become even more contrived. It was Walken who played "legendary producer Bruce Dickinson" in SNL's best-ever sketch, "More Cowbell". Bruce had a fever, you know, and the only cure was more cowbell.
Another Walken moment in pop-culture history worth knowing about comes from The Onion, in a completely silly piece involving Walken and his first passion, hot dogs:

Walken in L.A. [Christopher Walken on hot dogs]
The Onion

Do you enjoy eating hot dogs? I hope you won't be put off by my frankness when I tell you that I absolutely love them. In fact, I enjoy no food item more than a freshly-boiled hot dog. Now, I've done a lot of movies, and it's true that I've worked with quite a few celebrities who did not share this opinion. I'm sorry to say that these people have always angered me.

Big Kevin Boss just caught a touchdown pass from Manning to cap an 85-yard, 8 play drive in 1:46. It was a 3-yard flip. Both Boss and Manning played terrific on the drive - a 23-yard completion to Boss was the highlight along with a 13-yard scramble by Manning to get the ball to the 2.

The Pats drew within 1 on a 45-yard field goal by Stephen Gostskowski. A 39-yard, 8-play drive got it done.

The Patriots have run 25 offensive plays. The Giants have run 10.

My bad earlier. Moss has tied Rice's record of 22 touchdown receptions.

Kicking off from their 25, the Patriots just let Domenik Hixon go 74 yards for a touchdown. The 15-yard penalty on Moss for excessive celebration after the Patriots touchdown didn't help.

It's 14-10 Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-Men.

Tom Brady just threw a little fade to Randy Moss to complete his 49th touchdown pass of the season, tying the NFL record of Peyton Manning.

The Patriots now have the record for points scored in a season (561). Moss is within one touchdown reception of Jerry Rice's record of 22 set in 12 games back in 1987.

Moss got a 15-yard penalty for excessive celebration. He danced. He spiked. He didn't feign taking his pants down.

Randy Moss just crumpled to the ground on an 11-yard completion to Kevin Faulk. It's unclear what landed Moss on the turf but he did walk off under his own power. Self-propelled even.

A very questionable illegal contact call on Corey Webster just wiped out a sack of Tom Brady on third-and-14 and extended a Patriots drive which has now reached the Giants 22.

Here comes the little birdy on Tom Coughlin's shoulder saying, "Let it go...."

Starting weakside linebacker Kawika Mitchell sprained his knee and will not return this evening.

Tom Brady's first throw of the night to Randy Moss was uncharacteristically low. Randy Moss made the catch. But three plays later, tight end Ben Watson cement-handed a throw forcing a fourth-and-3. The Pats picked it up on a back-shoulder throw to Randy Moss.

The drive is now fown to the Giants 18.

The Giants, propelled by the 52-yard bomb to Plaxico Burress from Eli Manning, score a TD on their opening drive, going 74 yards in 7 plays before Brandon Jacobs hammered in with a short checkdown pass from Manning from 7 yards out.

The Giants aren't going to be able to run with Jacobs. He's the kind of back that labors against the big strong Pats linebackers. But if New York opens it up, it could get interesting.

A 52-yard gain to Plaxico Burress on the game's second play has the Giants inside the Patriots 20-yard line.

Hmmmm....

We know what's on the line tonight. Nothing more than history. But who's got what at stake tomorrow?

Check this...

In the NFC, it's simple. If Washington beats the Cowboys the Redskins are in as the sixth seed and play at Seattle.

If the Redskins lose and the Vikings win, the Vikings are in and go to Seattle.

If the Redskins and Vikings lose and the Saints win, the Saints go to Seattle.

If all three lose, the Redskins are in.

In the AFC, it all comes down to Tennessee's game at the Colts. If they win, they're in. If they lose, Cleveland's in (unless Tennessee ties and Cleveland wins or ties then Cleveland's in).

The only other ball in the air is seeding in the AFC.

Currently, San Diego is the third seed and will most likely host the Titans. Pittsburgh is the 4 and they'll host Jacksonville.

If San Diego loses to the Raiders and the Steelers beat Baltimore, the Steelers are the 3 and they'll host the 6 (again, most likely Tennessee).

The 3-4 seed is also up in the air: San Diego owns the tiebreaker (conference record). The only way Pittsburgh gets the 3 seed is with a win and a Chargers loss.

So it looks like Pittsburgh and the Jags and the Chargers and the Titans with Cleveland having an outside shot.

Rick Neuheisel is headed to UCLA to be the Bruins head coach. The Ravens offense will never be the same.

Tom Brady just came onto the field and swapped pleasantries with Giants counterpart Eli Manning in what looked like a very amiable conversation. Reading body language, it appeared Manning was offering Brady congratulations, presumably on a great year. But the press box is exceptionally high here at Giants Stadium and he could have been telling him he had food in his teeth.

Brady also traded happys with Giants long-snapper Zak DeOssie who was once a ballboy for Brady and whose father, Steve, played for both the Patriots and Giants.

The inactives for the game have been released and, for the Giants, running back Ahmad Bradshaw is on the list as is wide receiver Sinorice Moss.

The Patriots will be without the right side of their line. Both tackle Nick Kaczur and guard Stephen Neal are down. So is Troy Brown.

UCF has first-and-ten on its own eight. Kevin Smith, who needs about 65 yards to break Barry's record, is exactly where he wants to be.

Neuheisel, Oldheisel

UCLA blinked and hired former Bruin quarterback Rick Neuheisel, whom I've always liked. I know, I know, he was fired from Washington. For taking part in an NCAA basketball pool. If you fired every college coach who did that, who'd be left? Joe Paterno?

The last time I saw Neuheisel in person was a long time ago. About eleven years. We were in the backyard of his parents' house in Tempe, Arizona. He was the head coach at Colorado at the time, and had just returned from a recruiting visit with an assistant of his. The assistant with him? Karl Dorrell. I kid you not.

I think that puts me in line to be the next ex-head coach of UCLA.

One man's P.G. Wodehouse tribute...

Entering the 4th quarter, Kevin Smith has 108 yards. Tough-earned yards, by the way. He needs 73 yards in the final quarter to break Barry Sanders' record (though he's really not doing so...as explained before).

Michael-not-Tico Torres of UCF just missed his second field goal of the 2nd half, and so we remain dead-square at 3-3. You may be sitting at home waiting for the Patriot game to begin, thinking that this game blows, but you know what? It's the best bowl atmosphere I've seen in 14 Bowlnanza games, with the possible exception of last New Year's Day's Fiesta Bowl. But that was largely due to how riveting the game was.

Tonight's crowd is a sellout, a Liberty Bowl-record throng of 63, 816. A few reasons this game is so popular:

1. Cowbells, and lots of 'em
2. Kevin Smith
3. Beer sales

By the way, Taylor Hicks performed at halftime. Hicks.

I don't know if I've ever seen this before. It's probably happened, but I cannot recall it. At the half, Mississippi State and Central Florida are a combined 0 for 16 on 3rd-down conversions. Now, we're playing before a packed house (thanks to rowdy and geographically desirable MSU fans) with a terrific atmosphere, but these teams are not delivering.

Not one third down conversion.
Thirteen punts.
And a total of six completions for 27 yards.

Derek Pegues of MSU has as many catches (2) as anyone on the field, which would be less egregious if he were not playing free safety.

Give the defenses credit, but I don't want to imagine how unwatchable this game would become if Kevin Smith got hurt. Smith has 77 yards at the half. His team's total, though, is 67 yards.

If the Patriots win tonight to complete a 16-0 regular season, is that the No. 1 sports story of 2007. So far, in the informal poll of people seated around me, the answer is absolutely not.

Barry Bonds' pursuit of the home run record while being dogged by, well, you know all that stuff...that's the consensus winner.

No. 2 was the Mitchell Report which is really a substory to the Bonds deal, isn't it?

Then came the Mike Vick mess.

Then and only then did the Patriots get consideration.

Sad commentary. The top three stories in sports had nothing to do with the game.

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. - The weather in Northern New Jersey will be more than accommodating for the New England Patriots offense tonight.

It's about 50 degrees and will only cool to around 39 according to local forecasts.

The wind is non-existent.

Is there a petition somewhere that I can sign that will abolish "further review" from college football? Anywhere? I will sign it happily, Hancockily even.

In the first quarter of today's game Mississippi State quarterback Not-John Wesley Carroll cocked his arm to throw, and as he was pulling the pass back the ball was knocked from his hand/or slipped out of his hand. Either way, it was a fumble, and the official on the field correctly called it so.

Mississippi called a timeout and "after further review" the play was reversed.

So what did we accomplish?

1. Expending three or four minutes of time in a game that is already too long.
2. Getting the call wrong.
3. Undermining the job of the official on the field.
4. Favoring second-guessing over instinct, which is always a horrible mistake.

When someone can convince me that "further review" gets calls right with any more frequency than the initial call, I might be swayed. Until then, at the very least, can we mandate that a play only be reviewed if the coach demands it, and that the coach only is allowed one review per half? It's one thing that the NFL does have over college.

UCF's offense:

first down...Kevin Smith
second down....Kevin Smith
third down....pass, because Smith lost yardage on one of the aforementioned downs; and Kyle Israel is not a good enough QB to complete passes on obvious passing downs, as we've seen. Bulldog free safety just played deep middle perfectly, read the pattern, and intercepted Israel on a 3rd-and-6, returning it 40 yards to the UCF 6.

The Golden Knight defense, which has played very well so far--not that MSU has a naut-of-jugger offense-- held, though. It's 3-3, with 6:01 remaining in the first half.

That's the film, by the way, that I believe CBS was going to air this evening...until the NFL Network handed them and my very own NBC the simulcast for tonight's Pats-Giants game.

After one quarter, Kevin Smith has 42 yards, which puts him on pace--well, who cares about "pace" after just one quarter? I'm going to see two football games on New Year's Day, which will put me on pace to see 732 in 2008. And I doubt I'll do that (I'll see more, through the magic of television). Anyway, if Smith gets 42 yards in each of the next three quarters, he will finish 20 yards shy of Sanders' record...see, math is fun!

Smith just broke off a 14-yard run. He now has 56, which puts him above 2,500.

Smith again, just gained 5. That's 61 yards. He now needs 120 to break the record.

Smith again, loss of 1.

By the way, UCF quarterback Kyle Israel...not so accurate.

Kevin Smith: 60 yards total. Needs 121 to break Sanders' record.

In case you cannot see this game on the tube, UCF runs a one-back set. Smith lines up 8 yards behind the line of scrimmage on most plays, except when Israel lines up in the shotgun, which is not too often.

Michael Torres just nailed a 45-yard field goal for the Knights. Tico Torres (likely) just nailed a groupie backstage. That's for all you Bon Jovi fans.

It's Cowbell Cacaphony here at the Liberty Bowl, which is not even the biggest sporting event taking place in Memphis today. That happens later on this evening, when No. 1 Memphis hosts Arizona in hoops.

I stopped by the Peabody Hotel this morning to watch the semi-world famous "Duck Walk". You arrive about 15 minutes before 11 a.m. (the ducks walk twice daily, at 11 a.m. and 5 p.m.) and the crowd is already about four or five deep. The lobby is splendiferous--you'd think they could sacrifice, like, a dozen Hilton Garden Inns for just one hotel this nice, no?-- and it's pretty cool. The entire room is pregnant with anticipation...and people's sisters. There's a red carpet laid down, leading from the front door to a fountain in the middle of the room.

And, then, the big deal we've all been waiting for....four ducks walking down the carpet to the fountain. Cue "Is That All There Is?" In terms of red-carpet traipses, it's the waterfowl equivalent to watching the second-tier cast members from "Lost" make their entrance at the Emmys. Kind of underwhelming.

The funny part is that people wait half an hour for the ducks. Then there's music and the ducks enter. The four of them aren't in the fountain for more than a minute before the crowd disperses. There's a life lesson in there somewhere (and we learn it annually at the Super Bowl and Christmas), but I'm too frazzled by the sound of cowbells to ponder it.

Just wondering: On August 16, 1977, when the coroner's hearse pulled out of Graceland, did anyone say, "Elvis has left the building?"

Frequent and faithful (but not frequently faithful, since that would imply he's occasionally unfaithful) everlasting blogstalker G.A. reminds us that Barry Sanders averaged 238 yards per game in his record-breaking 1988 season of 2,628 yards. That was over 11 games. Now, add the 222 yards that Sanders gained in the 1988 Holiday Bowl--which have not been retroactively added to his total-- and that would give B.S. 2,850 yards for that season. Which means that Smith would need just 402 yards to break Sanders' record this afternoon.

All of which is to say that both Smith and Sanders are tremendous running backs. But even Smith would acknowledge that he is not yet in Sanders' class. "I did YouTube him," Smith said earlier this week, noting that he was too young to watch Sanders play in his prime (yes, Barry's been retired that long). "Barry was an animal."

Greetings from sunny (and relatively warm) Memphis! It's yet another beautiful day, our third sunshiny day in as many bowl games covered thus far. The Bowlnanza gods are smiling on us. You might even call--if you've been faithfully reading along--the weather Sunshine Studly .

ANYWAY, it's the Liberty Bowl, which if you've never been here, resembles a slightly bloated version of the stadium at the Air Force Academy, which if you've never been there, hey, what can I tell you? I'm trying to help. Basically, it's a single-tiered stadium with a saddle-like conformation: high in the middle and low on the ends. The west side of the stadium is bathed in shade--good on most gamedays, but not this one--and the east side, where the Mississippi State Bulldogs (and their fans) are situated, will be sunny. Gotta be worth 2 points for the Cowbellers.

Anyway, there's only one number/figure/fact that you need to remember for today's meeting between Mississippi State and Central Florida. And that is 2,628 yards, the number of yards that Barry Sanders rushed for in eleven games for Oklahoma State in 1988. That is the NCAA record, and Sanders was not credited for his bowl game yards then.

Central Florida running back Kevin Smith, a junior, enters today's game with 2,448 yards. Do the math and you'll see that he needs 180 yards (eight less than his average) to tie Sanders' record and 181 to break it. If you're a Sanders fan, or even simply a purist, you may think that Smith's record, should he set it today, needs to be accompanied with that star signal (*) on your cellphone. After all, Smith has already played in two more games and this, his 14th, is a bowl game. When Sanders played, bowl games statistics were not included in one's season totals.

And we haven't even touched upon the issue of overtime stats, which did not exist when Sanders played, either.

Regardless, it'll be fun to keep an eye on Smith's total this afternoon.

The Bulldog defense, by the way, will likely not be awed by UCF's No. 24. Already in 2007 MSU has faced six of the nation's top fifty rushers, including numbers 2 and 4. Here's how MSU has fared against those six backs (and where they rank nationally):

3. Matt Forte, Tulane (177.25)...........................14 carries for 47 yards
4. Darren McFadden, Arkansas (143.75)..........28 carries for 88 yards
34. Pat White, West Virginia (98.75).....................5 carries for 89 yards
38. BenJarvus Green-Ellis, Ole Miss (94.75).......29 carries for 117 yards
45. Arian Foster, Tennessee (89.38)..................21 carries for 139 yards
47. Steve Slaton, West Virginia (87.75)..............23 carries for 127 yards

A rusher's ability to gain 100 yards versus MSU did not necessarily coincide with an MSU loss. The Bulldogs beat Mississippi despite Green-Ellis' 117 yards, but lost to Arkansas despite holiding two-time Heisman runner-up McFadden to 88 yards. MSU ranks 65th in the nation against the run, allowing 159 yards per game on the ground.

And that's all the boring numbers I'll give you for the day.

Now it's time to visit the field and do the Bruce Dickinson thing: "I"ve got a fever, and the only cure is more cowbell!"

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Stranded here in the San Diego Airport, my flight to Memphis (thru Atlanta) delayed. Wondering about the sanity of anyone (i.e., me) who leaves San Diego in the first place. Resigned to the fact that I have no idea where I'm sleeping this evening and that this is the first Flustercuck of this Bowlnanza. Also wondering if it's too late to catch a ride back to Texas with Bevo and the Silver Spurs.

But things could be worse. This terminal of the San Diego Airport (Lindbergh Field, is it?) is modern and sparsely populated today. I'm watching the College Football on ESPN trio (Rece, Lou and Mark) and enjoying myself. Especially when the topic turns to Longhorns assistant Chris Jessie, who nearly became the Bartman of college football last night.

A few things:

1) I spoke to Jessie on the field after the game. He assured me that he never did touch the football, and from what I've seen, I believe him. On the other (non-football touching) hand, what was he doing that close to the edge of the sidelines, anyway? What was he doing standing literally on the field, while a play was in process?
To quote the late Warren Zevon: "Well, he's just an excitable boy!"
Rece asked Coach Holtz to comment on the situation, and I just smiled. Lou spared his son, Skip, currently the East Carolina coach (who just led his team to victory over Boise State in the Hawaii Bowl), the embarrassment of re-telling his own nepotism-bit-me-in-the-rear tale. It was the last game of Lou's first season in South Bend, what would be an epic come-from-behind win at Southern Cal. Except that Skip, whom Lou had installed on the punt return team, almost blew it. On one USC punt Skip ran into the Trojan punter. Flag, 15 yards. Roughing the kicker.
If only ESPN had pulled out the tape of Holtz grabbing his son by the facemask and chewing him out something awful. That moment, by the way, is when my mom began to hold Lou not just in admiration but in beatification. She loved that Lou was as tough on his son--tougher, perhaps--as he'd be on any other player.
Me? I still cannot believe that Skip Holtz is a Division I-A football coach. But he is. And while he already looks older than his dad, he did a fine job this season.

2) Mark May wondered what Chris Jessie was doing on the sidelines, as do I. Hell, I wondered what I was doing on the sidelines. There's a rule, discovered during last season's bowlnanza, that the less important the game, the more fun I'll have covering it. That's because of the access I can get. Although I had only a media pass, I was on the sidelines for all but the first quarter. And now, because most people's cellphones can also take photos, it's nearly impossible for security to monitor all the people on the sidelines shooting photos. The bottom line is this: If you ARE somebody, expect that someone is pointing their celly at you at all times.
And so I was able to shoot all the photos you see in our little slideshow with my Crackberry. I was able to walk up as the Holiday Bowl officials huddled with Bob Patrick, the replay official, as they crafted a statement to explain why Jessie, that is Texas, was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct for the Bartman play.
Which, as an aside, is bogus. Because if the replay official looked at that play, it's pretty difficult to see evidence of Jessie actually touching the football.
Anyway, as we move forward, I don't expect the bowl security to be as accommodating as the folks at the Holiday and Las Vegas Bowls have been. I expect more hard-asses and less freedom. The irony, of course, is that the only person who really flauted security last night was an official member of the Longhorn staff.

3) Jessie, if you watch him, did not really see the football until the last second. He seemed to be making a chopping down motion with both arms and yelling just a moment before the ball was within his grasp. "I was making a motion for intentional grounding," Jessie explained. "I didn't realize that the play was still live. I thought Carpenter had intentionally downed it (the refs ruled that he threw it behind him, i.e., lateraled it)."
If you watch the video it's pretty clear (at least to me) that that is exactly what Jessie was doing. And he didn't really notice the football until it nearly bounced into his hands. The natural reaction was to grab it, and I'm actually surprised that he did not. Especially if he believed the play to be dead.
But that all goes back to the same point: Jessie should never have been that close to the playing field--much less on it--in the first place. There's a reason that a three-yard white boundary envelops the entire field. Everyone--coaches and players and certainly media--needs to respect that. Jessie was not the only UT official who failed to do so on that play. Watch the video again and you'll see an African-American coach, standing upfield, who has wandered just as far--if not farther--away from the sideline than Jessie has. It's as if the entire UT staff thought they were John Calipari.

JoePa's Bucket List

You have to love that the folks at the Alama Bowl or all upset about an A&M Yell Leader saying that Penn State head coach Joe Paterno was going to "need a casket". JoePa just turned 81 earlier this month and odds are that he will require one sooner than most of us. Then again, what evidence is there that JoePa is slowing down? My favorite aspect of this story is that JoePa's retort to the entire conflagration was, "Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you."

Gee whiz, but I agree with him.

52-34.

That sounds about right for a Holiday Bowl score. You remember BYU 46, Southern Methodist 45 in 1980? Or how about Iowa 39, San Diego State 38 in 1986? Texas A&M 65, BYU 14 in '90?

Anyway, the game itself between two schools who between them have produced the two highest-profile alleged steroid cheats in baseball history (Barry Bonds, Arizona State; Roger Clemens, Texas) was a sub-plot. The big story was the near-Bartman experience of Texas staffer Chris Jesse , the stepson of Longhorn head coach Mack Brown. It was Jesse whom ESPN sideline reporter Lisa Salters sought out immediately after the game ended. And as the Longhorn players, fresh off singing "The Eyes of Texas", sauntered past, they good-naturedly heckled Jesse. "We love you, Chris!" a few shouted, and "Bartman!" Tight end Mark McWhorter, who was leading the hootin', barked, "Who cares who won? They want to talk to Chris!"

The other subplot was the mysterious disappearance of Bevo. Now, an 1,800-pound steer doesn't just vanish. I'll have more on this tomorrow, but simply a parent complained to a bowl official that Bevo was too close to the first row of seats. In those seats sat young girls who would be performing in the halftime show. When you're that close to a bovine with three-foot horns, well, you can understand where that mom was coming from.

Then again, Bevo and his four handlers had driven 24 hours from Austin to be here. And it wasn't Bevo, but rather the UT bench--given two sideline warnings--who had trouble remaining in their assigned area. Nevertheless, the handlers had to lead Bevo out of the stadium after just three minutes of play. It was a doubly frustrating evening as the battery on their F-150 pickup truck died.

However, at game's end they were allowed to lead Bevo back into Qualcomm Stadium. Forty yards upfield the Texas players were celebrating. Head coach Mack Brown was telling ESPN cameras that "Chris is family and that just shows how bad our family wants to see Texas win." As all this was going on, Bevo took a dump in the endzone. And why not? From his perspective, he was all alone in an 120-yard long pasture.

Besides, nobody from the stands was near him....in other words, the *hit was not going to hit the fans.

Fascinating Factoid of this Blog Entry:

Texas wideout Jordan Shipley not only has the most F. Scott Fitzgerald-character-friendly name of any player in the Holiday Bowl, he's also the all-tiime leading receiver in Texas prep history. Not bad, considering that Texas Tech's Michael Crabtree was raised in Dallas.

Anyway, Shipley now catches passes thrown by Colt McCoy. Back in the early 1980s, Shipley's dad, Bob, was the college roommate of McCoy's dad, Brad, at Abilene Christian. Both were also football players.

As you probably know by now, it was Mack Brown's stepson, Chris Jesse, who was credited with the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty back in the second quarter. Also, I found out why Bevo got evicted. Apparently a mom seated in the front row, who had her young daughter with her, complained to bowl officials. I'm guessing she was worried about another case of San Franscisco Zoo Tigeritis happening here. And lawsuit-wary bowl officials were not about to ignore her pleas.

All of which reminds me of something that Chris Rock said once about the tiger who attacked Ziegfried or Roy. "That tiger didn't go crazy," said Rock. "That tiger went tiger."

Exactly. If someone kept you caged up your entire life you might not be in the best mood when you at last escaped, either.

By the way, four Texas handlers drove 24 hours to get Bevo here for this game. One of them, Mark Williams, told me, "My mom was crying when I left on Christmas day." And after all that, Bevo spent about three minutes of game time at the Holiday Bowl. Talk about a bummed steer.

Oh, and I've been told that Bevo may be making a triumphant return to the field about midway through the fourth quarter...after the mom has left.

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Texas QB Colt McCoy has about 150 yards rushing with 12:55 still to play, and Texas is up 38-20. Will McCoy have the best bowl season of either QB named Colt? He also has 147 yards passing at the moment.

So Arizona State trailed 21-0 at the end of one quarter. So what?

ASU has trailed 14-0 to Colorado, 19-0 to Oregon State and 13-0 to Cal, all after one quarter. And the Sun Devils won all three of those games. So this is nothing new in Tempe. Although Dennis Erickson may want to try a different pre-game locker room approach, no?

Meanwhile, ASU just beat up Texas on the Longhorns' first possession since the ASU TD, knocking them back to their own five (a 4th-and-22 situation) before they punted. ASU now has a 4th-and-2 on the Texas 31. They're close to being right back in this game.

4th-and-2...Pass incomplete! It was a nice call, a play-action lob pass to tight end Zach Miller, but Carpenter just put a little too much on the pass.

I'm headed down to the field to check out the emotional state of that Longhorn assistant. See y'all after halftime.

Great moment of controversy and infamy here at the Holiday Bowl. ASU, trailing 21-0 early in the 2nd quarter, faces 3rd-and-11 at the Texas 14. And the only reason they were even there was due to a roughing the passer penalty.

Anyway, Rudy Carpenter drops back to pass and is clobbered. So badly, in fact, that he was facing backward when he attempted to pass/lost the ball. The football bounced backward and toward the Longhorn sideline, whereupon an excited UT (soon-to-be former?) assistant stepped out onto the field and almost--ALMOST!--touched the football. A few players got their hands on the ball after, and by the time the play ended, UT had the ball all the way in ASU territory.

But no! The referees reviewed the play and ruled that the assistant (at this point still unknown but, unfortunately for him, that anonymity won't last long) had touched the football. Unsportmanlike conduct. Play reversed. Suddenly ASU has the football on the UT 7, albeit on 4th down. However, Dennis Erickson rolls the dice and the Devils score on a nice catch and run by Chris McGaha (his first Sun Devil TD).

In fairness to the UT assistant, he was not the only coach who had roamed onto the field after Carpenter lost the ball. Also, he seemed to be making a chopping down motion with both arms when the ball was coming toward him. It almost surprised him, and though his first reaction was to catch the ball, or keep it in play, he did appear to retract his arms at the last second. I don't believe that he actually touched it.

However, what was a 21-0 Texas game with the Longhorns having the ball in ASU territory is now just 21-7. And the Longhorns are facing 2nd-and-21 from their own 8. You think that assistant wishes he could switch places with Bevo right about now?

The Lone Star Staters love the Golden State. This is Texas' sixth bowl trip to California this decade. The Longhorns have played in three Holiday Bowls (going 1-2) and a pair of Rose Bowls, both of which you likely remember:

2005....Texas 38, Michigan 37
2006....Texas 41, Southern Cal 38

After one quarter in San Diego tonight the Longhorns are up 21-0 (a Holiday Bowl record for points in the first quarter). Stay with me, now. Texas Tech trailed Minnesota 35-7 at the half of last year's Insight Bowl that I attended and wound up winning. On one hand you've got to be fired up if you're a Longhorn fan that Texas didn't bring its Arkansas State game this evening. On the other, with all the considerable talent Mack Brown has in Austin, you have to wonder how the burnt orange lost three games this season--and that was a 9-3 record without them even facing Kansas or Missouri, a pair of New Year's Day bowl games. How did that occur?

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Fascinating Factoid of this Blog Entry: Arizona State has never played Texas. However, the Sun Devils are 1-2 versus Tempe High School, which is the closest school with a football team to ASU. Granted, the last time these two met was 1914. A 12-6 ASU win. The first two times they played, Arizona was a territory....so they were not known as Arizona State.

Texas, early on, is dominating. Jamaal Charles is just superior-swift--he did finish 2nd in the 100 meters in the Big 12 championships, after all. Charles is fun to watch and can you imagine that both he and Adrian Peterson could have been your All-Big 12 backfield this season?

Charles, thanks to a 47-yard run on first down earlier in this very long first quarter (seven offensive drives), already around 70 yards. Quarterback Colt McCoy is a Staubachian scrambler and when the Longhorns faced a first-and-goal at the ASU 3, they brought in frosh QB John Chiles (a Vince Young clone), who froze an ASU defensive back at the line of scrimmage and simply ran around him untouched.

Jamaal Charles just ran for a 15-yard TD run, in which at least three Sun Devils failed to wrap him up. That was simply a battle of wills.

It's 21-0, Longhorns, with 1:30 remaining in the first quarter---and the Sun Devils have already turned the ball over twice. If this keeps up, Bevo won't be the only animal to leave Qualcomm Stadium in the first half.

The first attendee evicted from the 2007 Holiday Bowl, as far as I know, was Texas' divine bovine, Bevo. I'm not sure why, but he is no longer here. Shortly after Texas scored, I overheard a few nervous Holiday Bowl officials discussing Bevo's apparent anxious look. I'm sure these Bowl officials read their internets newses, and they're aware that up the coast a tiger mauled a 17-year old boy to death (this could make the BCS title game even more interesting).

Anyway, right after ASU punted, Bevo was shown the door. Unlike most customers who are evicted peremptorily, Bevo was not inebriated and was quite courteous as he was ushered out. He'll be spending tonight in the pen. But then, Bevo spends every night in the pen.

Fortunately, I was able to get some pre-game footage of Bevo and talk to one of his handlers. Bevo and about half a dozen of them drove here from Austin on Christmas afternoon. It was literally a cattle drive, with a stopover in El Paso...where they were lucky enough not to encounter human killing machine Anton Chigur and his weapon of destruction, the cattle prod. Unlike most cattle drives you've seen in the movies, the humans outnumbered the cattle.

You are reading from someone who is LOOKING LIVE from the Holiday Bowl, which is my way of saying that Brent M. is calling this game for the ESPN. Love Brent. I know I'm in the minority.

So, it's Sun Devils versus Longhorns, and Texas took the opening kickoff and scored in Holiday Bowl-record time (81 seconds). The difference was Jamaal Charles , who froze Sun Devil defenders with stop-and-go moves twice on the same play. That run went for 16 yards on a 3rd-and-2.

Charles is special. This is the back who had 216 yards in one quarter versus Nebraska earlier this season. I mean, that's a career game for most every back in the nation, and he did it one quarter. And after that Bill Callahan knew he was toast in Lincoln.

Greetings from sunny San Diego.

Tuesday was Christmas Day.
Wednesday was Boxing Day.
So here we are on Thursday, which is just Thursday, and this is the day they stage the Holiday Bowl . That's cool, since this is a bowl game you can actually be excited about. How excited? I hear that ESPN is going to allow NBC and CBS to simulcast it if they like. Cool beans.

This is, though, the first bowl game of the season to feature a pair of ranked teams, as opposed to just one. And it's the first bowl game in which both teams mascots have horns. Considering that I'll also be covering the Independence Bowl and Ralphie the Buffalo in a few days, I've decided to stage a first annual "Horniest Mascot" contest.

Oh, and by horniest, I mean literal horns. Because, as Sun Devil fans know, there have been some issues in the past few years concerning the school's sideline supporters and that other type of horny:

http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/2006/01/when-cheerleaders-go-bad.html

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Had a little back-and-forth text-a-tete with Everlasting Blogstalker G.A. last night. He's in El Paso covering the Sun Bowl. It is my opinion that the New Year's Eve contest between Oregon and South Florida would demonstrate inspired creativity if, given the locale, they invited Javier Bardem to do the coin toss:

"Call it. Just call it."

G.A. replied that not only should they do that, but that Bardem's "No Country For Old Men" hairpiece should be the entire halftime show. If you haven't seen "No Country For Old Men", it's a pretty good flick. It's still not as good as "Once" or "Extras: The Series Finale", but I really enjoyed it. And I admired Tommy Lee Jones for going against type and portraying a Texas lawmen. The range on that actor...

Also, Josh Brolin was not only fantastic, but he's the spitting image of my great childhood friend and former Major League pitcher Paul Swingle . Paul's claims to fame are that he surrendered George Brett's final big-league home run, that he taught me how to do a gainer off the diving board, that he now has eleven (!) children (yes, all with his lovely wife Brian), and that...he resembles Josh Brolin.

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Arrived in San Diego last night and did the smart thing any sportswriter should do when arriving in a city: phoned Arash "Guest List" Markazi of SI.com. "Come on over to the media hospitality suite at the Omni," Arash invited, and soon enough I was there. It's been a while since I've been to San Diego's Gas Lamp district, and man has the area around Petco Park picked up.

Guest List, myself and another former "SI On Campus" alum, Matt Waxman (now working for CSTV.com), the three of us then headed across the street to the Hard Rock Hotel. There's a great rooftop bar there, "Moonstone" (which sounds as if it's taken from the title of a Van Morrison song--or two--but it's not) and also some cool memorabilia in the lobby. Our favorite note/autograph we found hanging on the hall (and I snapped a photo of it), was written on a piece of stationery from the Toronto Hilton. It reads simply..."Hey Full Watermelon Bowl please Thanks Boss" , and the plaque below confirms that it was penned by Bruce Springsteen.

I gave Bruce props for remembering to say please and thank you.
Waxman gave Bruce grief ("That's why I can't stand that guy") for referring to himself as "Boss".
Markazi simply wondered how often in a lifetime people make requests for a "full watermelon bowl."

By the way, on the "Horniest Mascot Debate", Markazi reminded me that it should be factored in that Sparky the Sun Devil has a wispy "Ron Jeremy-style mustache." If you're scoring this Bowlnanza at home, that's two bowls, two Arash sitings, and two Ron Jeremy citings.

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I'm working on the "JW's Ultimate Shop-porium Galleria" and I think I've just come up with a new store. Two, in fact. You may recall that the Shop-porium already has Poverty Barn , which specializes in home furnishings for the homeless and soon-to-be foreclosed upon.

Now I've come up with two more stores: First, Irvin Outfitters . This is the men's clothing store you visit when you want to look just like a pimp-daddy Hall of Fame wide receiver. It'll be boss.

Second, here's a theme restaurant I have yet to see anywhere else. We'll call it Musical Chairs . All of the waiters portray great characters from musical theater, which benefits both the diners and the out-of-work actors looking for a second income. How cool to have your appetizer improved upon with some Betty Buckley-wannabe belting out "Memories"? Or wouldn't it soften the blow of seeing your bill if you heard "Hakuna Matata" being sung in the background? I'm already worried that someone will steal this idea.

And for the kids, of course, we'd have a back room where there'd be actual games of musical chairs taking place. This can't miss.

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My secret Bowlnanza wish....that I happen upon a fellow reporter covering a string of cocaine deals, which he or she has dubbled "Blownanza!" . Bowlnanza meets Blownanza, where the white lines have entirely different meanings.

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Don't know if you read our own Bob Weineke's latest ND recruiting report, but it appears that Joe Montana's older son Nathan, who was a backup QB at prep powerhouse De LaSalle, is headed to Notre Dame as a walk-on quarterback. Two humorous aspects of that: 1) He'll still likely be higher on the depth chart as a freshman walk-on than his dad was 34 years earlier as a freshman scholarship QB. 2) We're at a time when Nathan's dad, Joe, though arguably the greatest clutch NFL (and college) QB of all time, isn't even the most famous person named Montana. That would be Hannah.

See you over at the Holiday Bowl....

Just when it looked like Tampa Bay was on the move, Luke McCown proves why he's Jeff Garcia's backup.

McCown's pass for Michael Clayton deep in San Francisco territory is high, hard and behind Clayton and bounces off the receiver -- right to Nate Clements, who runs the ball back 62 yards from the 49er 15-yard-line to the Tampa 23.

On the next play, Shaun Hill finds Frank Gore scary alone in the right flat on a screen pass, and Gore runs it in for a 23-yard touchdown. San Francisco 21-13, 14:11 to play in the fourth.

Tampa comes back with a late score but the two-point conversion try, McCown to Clayton, is -- good!

Woops -- nope. Clayton, at the back of the end zone, was out of the end zone.

So there's your final -- 21-19, Niners -- and what have we proven here today? San Francisco's regulars are better than Tampa Bay's scrubs.

And this stadium is a dump.

Sometimes an onside kick is clever.

Sometimes it smacks of desperation.

The 49ers surprised the Bucs with an onside kick to start the second half, San Francisco's Delanie Walker recovering. Unfortunately, the 49ers' drive ends in a punt.

So I guess we might call that onside kick desperate.

The big question, really, is why Luke McCown is playing quarterback for Tampa Bay.

Jeff Garcia is not, according to Buccaneer PR staff, injured. McCown nonetheless played the final two series of the second quarter.

And then McCown comes out to start the third quarter. On the Bucs' first drive of the half, on third-and-6 at the Tampa 10, McCown, running in molasses-like slow motion, was stripped of the ball by 49er linebacker Patrick Willis, Mark Roman recovering.

San Francisco's starting quarterback, Shaun Hill, gets leveled by defensive end Gaines Adams, Adams called for a personal foul -- and so San Francisco turns to a backup quarterback, too. You've got Luke McCown, I'll go to Chris Weinke.

Chris Weinke? How old is this guy by now? Isn't there a reason that, after all these years, he's not an NFL starter?

Um, yes.

Hill sits out one play and comes back in -- to cheers, it must be said, from the Niner faithful.

It's a sad state of affairs when you're reduced to cheering for Shaun Hill.

But on one play, anyway, he makes like Johnny Unitas, rifling a shot to Vernon Davis for a 5-yard score. The extra point makes it 14-13, San Francisco.

Sunday afternoon...Leaving Las Vegas. Can't Cry Anymore. If It Makes You Happy.--

Where were we? Oh yeah, departing Vegas. A few moments worth recalling before heading off to the next stop:

Sitting at the El Cantino lounge at The Venetian on Saturday night as a band played 80's music in the background. Smelling something burning, but not really sure what. Our waitress approaches. "Sorry for the delay on your drink order, but that woman's hair was on fire."

Looking over and seeing the lady, a blonde who really didn't seem to care.

Watching another couple, appearing to be in their late forties, dance to every song. The woman looked like a cross between Jackie MacMullan of the Boston Globe and Jack McCallum of SI. Her husband looked like every assistant principal you've ever seen. But you had to love them, especially her. She looked as if it was the first weekend she hadn't had to do laundry in three years and she was going to enjoy herself. And the way she worked it when the band played "Sweet Child O' Mine"...oh my.
"You love that woman," Boyko remarked.
"I love her attitude," I said.

************************

Talking to Moose as we headed out for a farewell lunch at In-N-Out Burger, awed by the sheer abundance of gonzo-sized casino hotels in sight. "Can you imagine just how many maids work in this town?" I asked.

"That would be an interesting statistic," Moose replied. "Number of maids. Number of strippers."

Me: "Number of maids who are also strippers."

********************************

Espousing my "Opposite George" theory to good friend Marty Burns of SI.com. "From now on, Marty, I think I'd do much better on all bets if I just did the opposite of what I thought of doing."

"But then the opposite of that is what would happen," Marty answered.

"Fate," I said, "is the ultimate rake."

*************************

An observation as to how you never have to leave Las Vegas to see the world. "Last night while you were at the football game," Moose said, "the rest of us went to Paris (hotel), New York New York, and The Venetian."

"When is someone going to capitalize on a casino that's based on a non-jet set destination?" I asked. "Warsaw. That would be a cool casino. Belfast! Try the Molotov Cocktails. Beirut, where instead of craps tables they have ping-pong tables. This could work."

"Or how about 'Las Vegas, New Mexico'?" someone suggested.

Now you've gone too far.

The Tampa Bay quarterback, 12 of 20 for 196 yards and a quarterback rating of 109.6 in the first half, didn't play the final two series of the first half.

Instead, Luke McCown came out for the Bucs.

McCown is out to start the second half for Tampa as well.

It's unclear if Garcia is hurt or if the Bucs are just trying to get McCown some time under center.

Tampa receiver Maurice Stovall was hurt going across the middle of the field on an incomplete pass play with about 10:55 to go in the quarter. The entire Buccaneer team came out to check on him as he got onto a cart and headed off the field.

The initial prognosis: right arm injury, gone for the game.

The point is, the entire team came out to check on their teammte and brother.

Meahwhile:

What's this?! On the first play of the second quarter, San Francisco goes ahead! The 49er dance team in their fetching Santa hats -- they're going nuts!

The play: Shaun Hill throws to Seahawks reject Darrell Jackson for a good-looking 21-yard touchdown, and the 49ers go ahead, 7-6.

Seven plays, 72 yards -- that actually looked like a professional football team.

After this, regrettably, the game begins to look precisely like what it is -- a contest between a 4-10 team going nowhere and a 9-5 team trying to muster enough to beat a 4-10 team.

Highlights, such as they are:

-- 49er defensive back Donald Strickland, beaten on a sideline pattern, recovering just in time to bat down a wobbly Garcia pass intended for Ike Hilliard.

-- A 29-yard reception by Tampa Bay's Joey Galloway. The catch makes him the first receiver in Tampa history to post three 1,000-yard receiving seasons, overall and collective. He now has six 1,000-yard seasons for his career.

And then, predictably, a 49er fumble, tight end Vernon Davis coughing it up at the San Francisco 36 with about 5 minutes to go in the half. Four plays later, the Bucs score on a 24-yard Garcia pass to Jerramy Stevens.

In his first return to San Francisco since leaving the 49ers after the 2003 season, Garcia is 12 of 20 for 196 yards. His qb rating at the half: a shining 109.6.

Tom Brady hit Randy Moss with a 1-yard touchdown pass. He's at 47 touchdown passes and Moss is at 21 touchdown receptions bringing them within two and one of the single season records respectively.

The Cleveland Browns, sitting pretty when the day began at 9-5, have to sweat since they lost to the Bengals 19-14.

The problem?

Tennessee. If the Titans beat the Jets today, they will control their destiny in Week 17.

Check it out...Browns are 7-5 in the conference. The Titans are 5-5. The Titans have two conference games remaining and need to win them both to make the playoffs, which would give them a 7-5 conference record. The next tiebreaker is common opponents, which the Titans would win (4-1 vs. 3-2). So no matter what the Browns do in Week 17, if the Titans beat the Jets, the Titans would be in with a win in Week 17, ousting the Browns if both teams are tied at 10-6 with their better record vs. common opponents. The Titans play the Colts in Week 17 -- and Indy is locked into the #2 position, which means they have nothing to play for.

Bryant Young, the 49ers outstanding lineman, is likely playing his last home game. A rookie in the 49ers' last Super Bowl season, 1994, and was greeted when he was introduced -- the last defensive player out of the tunnel -- with an array of fireworks.

More fireworks ensued during and after the National Anthem. The reason the pre-game ritual here is so heavy on fireworks, according to one veteran of the Monster Park press box: the 49ers want to send up an SOS as early as possible.

Attendance here Sunday: this old stadium is maybe half full. Maybe.

Maybe here's why:

49ers first offensive series: run by Frank Gore, sack of quarterback Shaun Hill, incomplete pass. Ugly.

49ers' second drive: three and out. Ugly.

Bucs' first drive: 10-play, 64-yard, 5:08 drive for a Matt Bryant field goal, the drive highlighted by a Jeff Garcia third-down pass to a wide-open Ike Hillard for 26 yards.

Bucs' second series: Tampa goes to the no-huddle. The 49ers have to burn a time-out to get 11 guys on the field. Maybe they were the wrong 11 guys. Garcia throws for 25 yards to a wide-open Michael Clayton. Two plays later, Garcia hooks up with Alex Smith, also insanely wide open, for 32 yards. Eight plays, 57 yards, 3:48, another field goal, this one of 22 yards.

Third 49er drive: someone get some sense and gives Gore the ball more than once. He rips off a 20-yard run and the 49ers cross midfield. Maybe the 49er faithful have some reason to stay interested?

Indisputably good news for SF: the Bucs have moved the ball but been unable through one quarter to score a touchdown. So, in theory, it's still a game.

With the Giants winning and securing a playoff berth, there will be far less urgency for New York in its season finale against New England.

The Giants have been blitzed by injuries this season and will play on the first weekend of the playoffs. Figure they'll be very cautious about putting players in harm's way.

As for New England, they have sewn up the No. 1 seed in the AFC and will likely give their No. 1s extended work next week in the finale against New York so they don't get too far off kilter. And because they might like to go to 16-0.

FOXBOROUGH, Mass - New England is about to chase its 15th win of the season against the Dolphins. Miami will start out with it.

San Francisco is beautiful, and it's a beautiful day here in the Bay Area, temperatures in the 50s, the sky a pale blue and cloudless, but -- it must be said -- Monster Park, nee Candlestick, is a dump.

God, what a dump.

I used to come here all the time, in the mid-1980s, when I was in graduate school and living in San Francisco -- to Giants games, mostly, but every now and then to 49er games.

Remember, in the 1980s, it was a lot easier for a starving student to get Giants tickets -- even when the Giants, behind the lkes of Will Clark, got good -- than it was to score a 49er ducat. Those were the 49er glory years.They still are; I saw way more fans in the parking lot today sporting Ronnie Lott's No. 42 jersey than current 49er Frank Gore's No. 21.

I remember the 49er glory years with great fondness. Living here, it was enormous fun.

Candlestick even then was a dump -- I used to have a collection of what were called Croix de Candlestick, little pins you would get for having the endurance to suffer though freezing-cold Giant night games -- and the years since have not been kind. I can understand full well why 49er management is looking south, at Santa Clara.

One of the NFL's looming issues, in fact, is what to do about the stadium situation in California. San Francisco, Oakland, San Diego -- the three oldest stadiums in the league. And, of course, no suitable stadium in Los Angeles, the nation's No. 2 media market.

In the meantime, they'll play a game here today, Tampa Bay at San Francisco. The field looks great.

Wish I could say the same for the rest of the stadium. What a dump.

It's tempting to type that the school with the nation's 2nd-longest win streak is being played dead even by a .500 opponent who's QB is a walk-on who had yet to throw a touchdown pass before this evening. However, what really is happening is that UCLA's defense is playing like the unit that held Southern Cal to 12 points a year ago.

After all, it's almost entirely the same unit.

Defensive end Bruce Davis and safety Dennis Keyes have been monsters for the Bruins this evening. Max Hall has been pressured all night. Only wideout/kickoff returner Austin Collie has really hurt the Bruins, and most of his damage has come via three pass interference calls.

Give UCLA credit. They're a mostly senior bunch playing for an interim coach, defensive coordinator DeWayne Walker (who knows he's out of a job after this evening). Yet the Bruins are showing heart. Where it was the past two months, when they won just two of seven games, I don't know.

And why a team that loses two of its final seven games is in a bowl is something that should be pondered, no?

UCLA had three different passers (Osaar Rasshan, McLeod Bethel-Thompson and Brandon Breazell) complete a total of two passes in the first half. On ten attempts. However, the final pass of the first half went for a score, on the half's final play, so there's that.

Through nearly three quarters, UCLA has 11 yards passing.

************

Also, let it be noted that the reigning Miss America sang our national anthem. That's one Miss America so far on our tour.

**************

The vestiges of last year's 'nanza (I'm already short-handing it??? On the first night?) are beginning to return to my mind. For instance, I recall that as the bowls became more important, security became more, well, hard-ass and media were increasing treated like the nuisance (that we can be). Tonight, for example, is a relaxed, low-key affair. When I walked into Sam Boyd Stadium security greeted me with a smile and nobody asked me to open up my backpack to check the contents of my bag. It was like 1997 in here. I long for those days.

By the time we get to the Sugar Bowl, I'll be expecting a full cavity search.

*******************

BYU right guard Travis Bright (6-5, 320) just suffered a serious leg injury. At least three BYU trainers ran onto the field carrying a leg-immobilizer bag. Is Bright supposed to sprout another appendage?

It's halftime, and the gaggle of second-guessers are crucifying first-guesser Bronco Mendenhall, BYU's coach, as they wait on line for their free halftime brownies.

See, BYU had a first down on its own 8-yard line with 0:28 to play in the first half. The Cougars also had a 17-6 lead. On first down, instead of taking a knee, BYU ran a play and the UCLA defense (playing a solid half, by the way, were it not for three pass interference penalties in the cause of doing anything to slow down Austin Collie) forced a fumble. Two plays later, McLeod Bethel-Thompson, yeah, him, the dude who threw like 17 picks against Notre Dame, threaded a brilliant pass to Brandon Breazell as time expired. Touchdown, UCLA.

It was the first TD pass of McLeod-Thompson's career, by the way.

From 17-6 to 17-13.

Me, I'm not going to second-guess Bronco. Maybe at the end of the game you take a knee. Maybe it was even prudent to take a knee there. But it's a bowl game. Give us a show. Run a play. I've got your back, Bronco.

A friend just phoned me to say that, in introducing the Brigham Young players earlier, ESPN's Paul Maguire (appearing tonight sans crane) said that "they're on a mission." Actually, Paul, they were on a mission.

Oh, and if you're wondering how Bonnie Bernstein stays warm during a night of sideline reporting duty? She's wearing ski pants.

This town deserves better. Las Vegas, although it's slightly cooler than optimum temperature (it was 42 degrees at kickoff) for an evening bowl game, is an ideal host site. There's no shortage of hotels (hello?) and if you cannot find something to keep you busy here as an adult, well, you must be...Mormon? And isn't that the terrific irony, as BYU has played in this game the past three seasons.

However, while the Las Vegas Bowl gets the Mountain West Conference champ (unless that school ascends to a BCS game), its other representative is either the 4th or 5th-place (depending on the year) Pac-10 selection. The Rose (USC), Holiday (Arizona State) and Sun (Oregon) Bowls get the first three Pac-10 picks, in that order. This year the Emerald Bowl, held in San Francisco, gets the fourth pick (Oregon State).

The Rose, Holiday and Sun have been around far longer than this bowl and all provide entertaining games. I've always loved watching the Sun Bowl on TV and, having been there once, love the venue. It's like a 1960-era Sun Devil Stadium, one level nestled between some desert hills.

I don't know what the answer is. Quality-wise, the 4th-best school in the Pac-10 is every bit as good as your MWC champ. We know that for a fact, actually, as UCLA beat BYU 27-17 earlier this season. However, the 4th-best Pac-10 school is rarely thrilled to be in a pre-Christmas bowl and often plays that way....although not tonight. UCLA's defense, in particular defensive end Bruce Davis, is laying the wood.

Perhaps if there were more at stake. For example, the loser must attend Carrot Top's show at the Luxor.

Last year we began Bowlnanza at the Poinsettia Bowl, which was somewhat depressing...or at least as depressing as San Diego can be.

This year, with the Las Vegas Bowl, we've got it right. Whereas we opened last season in a lifeless NFL stadium that was about one-third full, tonight we have a mostly filled to capacity Sam Boyd Stadium on the outskirts of Vegas. It may seat only about 35,000 fans, but that's cool.

Allow me to describe the fnas here tonight. On one side of the field, you have a sparse gathering of Bruin faithful (and that's no hackneyed term...if you're a Bruin fan here tonight, you're nothing if not faithful). On the other side of the field, and behind one endzone, you have the year 1955. At least that's what it feels like when you walk amongst the BYU crowd.

It's so...nice. And I like it. Have you ever seen Galaxy Quest ? If you have, well, BYU fans would come across not unlike the Thermians, those peaceful, earnest aliens who believe that the show they are watching is actually a series of "historical documents." They're passionate fans, but they're just so darned polite. And it helps that their Cougs actually play hard and well. This may be a milk mustache crowd, but the Cougs pack a punch.

Think about it: BYU's only losses this season were to UCLA and a Tulsa team that is the nation's total offense leader. Would Hawaii be 12-0 with that schedule? Are the Cougs, winners of nine straight, the nation's best non-BCS football team? Perhaps. But if they want to be considered that, they cannot lose twice in one season to a team that lost by two TDs at home to Notre Dame.

UCLA's best player, defensive end Bruce Davis , sacked BYU's Max Hall and forced a fumble on the game's second play from scrimmage. Since then the Bruins have run ten consecutive running plays to begin their opening drive. Although UCLA's two-deep QB chart lists Pat Cowan and then Ben Olson, their starter tonight is actually 6-4 sophomore Osaar Rasshan , who looks and runs likes a young Dennis Dixon.

In fact, the most exciting play of the drive was when Rasshan, taking the snap on the BYU 9, dropped back to attempt his first pass. Nearly sacked back at the 19, Rasshan slipped out of the BYU defender's grasp and hauled it down to the 3-yard line with those long, Dixonian strides. It must feel like deja vu for the Cougs, who last year faced Dixon and the Ducks in this very bowl game. But that was a lesser version of '07 Dixon, as BYU easily won 38-8.

A quick look back at Bowlnanza's Eve, which I spent with good friends Arash "Guest List" Markazi of SI.com, Lara "Sgt." Boyko of CSTV.com, and non-sports pals Moose and Tupelo. It is surreal to be in Las Vegas during Christmas week. It's as if you have the Strip all to yourself. If you've ever been here, you know that the taxi line at McCarron Airport, for example, reminds you of something from a Six Flags park. By the time you snake your way to the front, you expect to see a sign that warns anyone "who is pregnant or has a heart condition" not to board this ride.

But yesterday? No one. Literally. I walked out onto the sidewalk and was the very first in line for a taxi. My immediate thought: That means there will be $10 blackjack tables at the casinos, which there were.

Anyway, quick blog-like highlights:

--Arash sharing us the story of having met porn star (everyone in porn is a star...what a cool biz) Ron Jeremy . Not only did Arash meet Jeremy, but he met him at the Hustler Club in L.A., which has a drink named after Jeremy. Arash ordered one. So there he is, conversing with Ron Jeremy while swallowing a Ron Jeremy when Jeremy himself, without asking, helps himself to some of the beverage.

And now Arash finds himself in a moral quandary. He does not want to insult Jeremy. And yet, now he is about to share bodily fluids with one of the most prolific adult film stars who ever dropped trou. What do you do?

"I would have spilled it," I told Arash.

"You would have spilled it no matter who you were with," noted Moose.

-------------

--Dinner at Tao, thanks to Arash having a connection there (there's a reason I dub him "Guest List"). Tao becomes the first eatery to make our BowlnanZagat Guide . Now, at the expense of sounding like a poofdah, I'll recommend you try the Chilean Sea Bass. I'm more of an In-N-Out Burger type guy, but man was that good. At one point I looked across at Boyko and said, "I know why this tastes so yummy."

"Why?" she asked.

"It tastes a lot like waffles."

"I'm sure the chef would love to hear you say that."

---------

A discussion as to who would make the best mascot for the BYU Cougars. My suggestion: Morgan Fairchild. Moose went with Raquel Welch. Markazi settled the debate with, "Demi Moore."

_______

An animated chat about the North Carolina football players' sexual assault. Have you heard about this? The Tar Heel football players were the victims, not the assailants. Apparently, three UNC gridders picked met a few women at a bar, took them back to their place, and some canoodling ensued. This part of the story sounds pretty standard. However, as it turns out, the players were tied up and well, things were done to them.

"How do you gather evidence for sexual assault against a male by a female?" I asked.

"Dust for fingerprints?" Boyko volunteered.

____________

Vegas Virgin Moose winning $280 in her first time ever at a table. Moose sat down with $50 (not her own...some kindly soul who will remain nameless loaned it to her) and in the span of fifteen minutes hit five numbers exactly on the roulette wheel. Beginner's luck is better than no luck at all.

_________

Speaking of Vegas Virgins, Tupelo told us about taking her sister-in-law to Las Vegas for the first time a year ago. "We were standing on the patio at Ghost Bar, looking out on the entire strip, and she asked me, 'Which one's the Montecito?"

(The Montecito is the name of the casino in NBC's "Vegas")
_______________

By the way, most of our little quintet had never met one another before. And yet when we first sat down to lunch only about seventeen minutes elapsed before we heard the first, "And that's why you're forty-one and still single." That wouldn't have hurt my feelings as much if it hadn't been a chorus.

Alright, now we'll return to the football...

And Bowlnanza II begins...

Greetings from Sin City. I'm seated here at Sam Boyd Stadium, about one hour before the kickoff of the Las Vegas Bowl. UCLA versus Brigham Young.

I caught a cab over here with the delightfully droll T.J. Simers of the Los Angeles Times. Good man, T.J. Once I arrived I was waiting for my credential at the willl call window. There was an elderly gent standing in line behind me and I asked him if he had a family member playing in today's game.

"My grandson, Max Hall," he said, naming the sophomore quarterback for BYU. He told me that he and about 15 family members had driven up from Mesa, Arizona, which happens to be the same town in which I spent my teenage years. Now, being that I'm from that area, I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't know who Max Hall's grandfather is.

"You must be excited, Mr. Hall," I said.

"Oh no, my name's not Hall," he corrected. "It's White."

"Oh."

"Have you ever been to Sun Devil Stadium?" he asked.

"Many times," I said.

"There's a name on the ring inside the stadium," he stated, quite matter-of-factly. "Wilford White. That's me."

You may know Wilford better as the father of Danny White, Max Hall's uncle and the former Dallas Cowboy quarterback.

Like his uncle and grandpa, Max Hall began his college career at Arizona State. Unlike those two ASU Hall of Famers, Hall transferred to BYU. Hall's pedigree is ideal for the Cougars. Besides being related to the Whites, Hall played high school football at Mountain View in Mesa, Arizona, which has been a state powerhouse for decades that has long been known for having a large Mormon student population. Hall's predecessor at QB for Mountain View? The quarterback who started this game for BYU last season, John Beck, now a rookie with the Miami Dolphins.

I'm off to the field to check out some pregame happenings. Be back in a bit.

He's back. NFL open those arms and give the old man a hug..

Bill Parcells meet the Dolphins.

Dolphins meet the guy who is going to turn your ship around... the right way.

And to go back a few months... Simons Says knew this was going to happen.

Just got an email from the Falcons media relations staff. The jist is simple.

Bill Parcells left Falcons owner Arthur Blank standing at the altar. Then he jetted off to Miami to marry the girl with the giant implants.

At least that's the impression the Falcons are giving. But the signposts you pass in a Bill Parcells negotiation never give a true indication of where he's headed.

He wasn't interested in the Cowboys job. Then he became their head coach. He wasn't negotiating with the Jets. And then he was their head coach. He was going to be the Buccaneers GM. And then he wasn't.

I'm going to post the Falcons email. Only if you promise not to believe it.

I can't ignore the lack of responsibilty the players of the Florida State University football team have shown.

Not because they cheated, received help or had someone else take a test for them. As wrong as it is, there are far too many who are guilty of that, athletes or not, to go and rant on the ethics of education and the importance of students doing the work on their own. To assume every athlete goes to school for an education first and a chance to play a sport second is naive.

I'd also hope that not too many other universities will jump quickly to criticize because unless a thorough self evaluation has been done, it's impossible to truly know the actions of every athlete. As FSU has found out.
While its embarassing, I'm satisfied to know that this was something FSU took action to take care of.

I'm more dissapointed in the blatant disrespect this shows. And not just to the team or the current students and administration, but the alumni and fans who have supported a school through years of underperformance and unacceptable behavior.

The disrespect it shows to the guys who played at FSU and made it into the dominant football team it was.

The disrespect it shows to Bobby Bowden.

I am tired of having to defend what is a great school because the actions of some who are reaping the benefits of what those accomplished before them fail to recognize the mess they create.

Florida State was there long before these kids arrived. In my mind... they are free to go. Don't come to this school and assume you will not be held accountable. Don't put your team in a position where it must scramble to adjust and re-work a game plan days before going to a bowl game.

Don't be that kind of athlete.

All I can say is I hope he's being honest with this very direct claim. Because as much as people don't like a cheater, they hate a liar.

Did he or did he not take the juice?

Just wanted to alert any Johntouragers (G.A., L.A., An Inconvenient Ruth, Moose, EW, Raine, etc.) that I'll frequently be posting on our new Mob Blog now. So feel free to visit that site and G.A., the world waits for your musings on a grander scale.

It could have been worse.

A 56-yard San Diego touchdown -- on a brilliant series of cutbacks by Darren Sproles on a screen pass to the right side -- was called back because of penalty.

Sproles, who can be electrifying on kickoff returns, had himself a brilliant game.

In relief of LaDainian Tomlinson, he finished with 122 yards rushing -- the first time in Charger history two San Diego running backs have racked up more than 100 yards apiece.

This is how lame it got by the end for the Lions. Detroit's quarterback at the end of the affair: J.T. O'Sullivan. Who?

Coming into Sunday, San Diego had scored on its first possession of the third quarter in eight of 13 games.

Make that nine of 14, Darren Sproles scoring from the 1 to finish off a 13-play, 85-yard drive that ate up more than six minutes. The touchdown put San Diego ahead 41-7.

On the ensuring kickoff, the Lions fumbled, the Chargers recovering at the Detroit 24. Billy Volek came in at quarterback for San Diego -- I mean, why risk Philip Rivers, who had been banged up last week against Tennessee but rallied to start and play strong against the Lions?

Then Nate Kaeding came on to bang a 45-yard field goal.

A few plays later, the Chargers delivered another head-snapping tackle, this one by Drayton Florence on Kevin Jones. You'll see that one replayed on the highlight shows, too.

Give the Lions this much -- at least they didn't quit completely. Detroit scored with just over three minutes to go in the quarter, on a 17-yard Jon Kitna pass to Shaun McDonald. Score: 44-14.

The only note of concern for the Chargers on this day might -- and I say, might -- be that the Detroit score came on a play just like the one that produced the first Lion TD, a pass over the middle finding a seam in the San Diego defense.

When the score gets to be 44-7 in the third quarter, the mind starts to wander.

Today in San Diego it's glorious, about 65 degrees, sunny, the Pacific resembling a golden pond.

It's going to be a long flight back to Michigan tonight for the Lions. And here's the thing: when they get there, where are they? Detroit.

As the surfers bobbing in Sunday's calm waves here might allow: bummer, dude.

After watching the Lions for two quarters, I have to ask: are they really that bad?

And how in the world did Detroit get out to a 6-2 start?

To open the second quarter, Lions' quarterback Jon Kitna threw a pass right to -- and I mean, right to -- San Diego linebacker Matt Wilhelm.

When you're losers of six in a row, those are the bonehead plays you make.

The very next time the Lions got the ball, a Kitna pass was tipped and dropped into the loving hands of Charger linebacker Shaun Phillips, who rumbled, untouched, 18 yards, for another San Diego touchdown.

Oh, wait -- stop the presses -- the Lions go 11 plays, 66 yards, 5:33 elapsed, scoring with 2:50 remaining to make it 27-7.

Big whoop.

San Diego came right back with another score to make it a 27-point game at the half.

It's that kind of game -- a Hail Mary to end the half, Kitna to Calvin Johnson, is complete for 49 yards. At the San Diego 1. And no score.

Here's why this game is already so lopsided. Kitna: three interceptions. LaDainian Tomlinson: 116 yards rushing.

The Lions finish the season at home next Sunday against Kansas City, then at Green Bay. I don't bet but if I did, I would have a very hard time believing the Lions could beat anything but the spread -- and even that, based on the first half Sunday, would seem dubious.

More interesting query. Let's say the Lions lose their last two. That would make it eight losses in a row to end the season. If you were his boss, would you keep Matt Millen on the job?

Not sure why a regular season game between Detroit and San Diego justifies a flyover by U.S. Marine Corps fighter jets but, in watching the two F/A-18 Hornets streak over Qualcomm Stadium just moments after a stirring rendition of the national anthem, I can only say: it never gets old.

Great, great special-teams tackle on the opening kickoff on Detroit's Aveion Cason by San Diego's Brandon Siler, a smackdown that dropped Cason like he'd been hit by an anvil. Look for it on your highlight shows.

Now let's play compare and contrast:

Detroit -- first drive: three and out.

San Diego -- seven plays, 62 yards, LaDainian Tomlinson around left end for a 2-yard score, his 126th career touchdown.

Detroit -- second drive: three and out.

San Diego -- a 22-yard Nate Kaeding field goal after an 11-play, 77-yard drive keyed by a 28-yard sideline grab by Chris Chambers.

Detroit -- third drive: on a 2nd and 9 play, quarterback Jon Kitna is intercepted at the Lions' 39, San Diego safety Clinton Hart running the ball back to the Detroit 17.

San Diego -- four plays later, after a Detroit paass-interference call puts the ball at the Lion 2, LT goes in again, his 127th career TD.

The 126th touchdown moved Tomlinson ahead of his childhood idol, Walter Payton, on the NFL's all-time TD list.

The 127th pushed him ahead of Jim Brown, into sixth place on the all-time list.

Tom Brady's 11 for 21 for 74 yards with an interception so far today. Weather is playing a significant role so far. Statistically, this game is overwhelmingly forgettable.

Have you seen any of the highlights of the Cleveland-Buffalo blizzard bowl? Shouldn't there be a way for the NFL to switch us all to that game? And then there's the Jax-Pittsburgh game, which is basically Buffalo just barely above freezing. It's all sleety rain instead of snow. When you're comfortably ensconced in your apartment's comfy chair, well, aren't those the games you'd rather be watching than some dome doze-off doozy?

Finally saw We Are Marshall for the first time the other night. The observations:

1. Matthew McConaughey is outstanding as the new coach. When it comes to SMA (Sexiest Man Alive) thespians, M.M. is as good an actor as any of them. He'll never top that bit part in "Dazed and Confused", but he's terrific as the effortlessly charming new coach in town in Huntington, W. Va.

2. Kate Mara: Take a vacation already! Give another young actress a chance to get a job. You're everywhere. Then again, has any young actress ever looked more "Small Town Waitress" than Miss Mara does?

3. Watching this film caused a whole 'nother wave of frustration to crest over Notre Dame's recently ended season. You're telling me that Coach Lengyel (McConaughey) could see that he was dealing with an overabundance of youth and knew enough to simplify his offense, but Charlie Weis couldn't? Then again, I don't know if Coach Weis would listen to his Red Dawson if he offered a suggestion.

4. Bobby Bowden: good guy.

5. Why oh why oh why does every last director who makes a football film feel the need to show an airborne-receiver or runner-getting-smashed shot? As good as WAM was, even this film wasn't immune from that.

Really good movie, though. They handled the plane crash tragedy with class and it was nice to see Ian McShane get through an entire performance without an F-bomb (see "Deadwood" and "Sexy Beast").

CAT FAMP

Just dropped off my cat, Mirk, to my friend Joe's house for the next three weeks. I'll be headed west to Arizona for Christmas and then our second annual Bowlnanza (more on that later), so Joe, who's a classic New York City character (he's an astronomer-doorman), is being nice enough to take in the kitty.

I took Mirk over earlier this afternoon. Now, Joe is a bachelor in his 50s and he already has three cats. Wherever your imagination is taking you with that visual...you're right. When I walked into the apartment for the first time, I felt a little like Jodie Foster when she said, "I'm looking for a James Gumb. Are you Jame Gumb?"

Anyway, it was a rather dark apartment and I didn't venture into the bedroom (the muffled cries scared me off...were they human?). I was relating this tale to our good friend Moose an hour or so later and her succinct take on the entire set-up was, "Mirk's just walked into Fight Club ."

By the way, Blogstalkers, it appears that Johntourager E.W. and perhaps even Moose will be joining me in Las Vegas later this week for the Las Vegas Bowl (Friday and Saturday). Anyone who wants to join us and have an "Ocean's 11" moment as we parade through a hotel lobby (okay, so it may be a Hilton Garden Inn five miles south of The Strip, but let's not pick nits), we'd welcome the company. That means you, G.A. and L.A.

Kelley Washington just came up with a blocked punt to set up a Laurence Maroney touchdown from 2 yards away. Fourteen of the 24 punts have been scored on special teams so far.

It's 17-7 Patriots.

The Jets have two first downs. New England has 11 (nothing to write home about but better than 2). New York had 81 first half yards, 49 on a run by Leon Washington.

But they are within three at 10-7 thanks to a 26-yard blocked punt return by David Bowens. The Jets offense isn't going to be scoring any points real soon if you're asking me.

Minus the 49 yard scuttle by Leon Washington with a pitch from backup quarterback Brad Banks off the option, New York's managed a non-robust 38 offensive yards.

New England just capped a 17-play, 75-yard drive with a 26-yard Stephen Gostkowski field goal. The Pats called two timeouts and had the break between quarters in a span of four plays. They must have information that the Jets have someplace to go after the game.

Kellen Clemens, knocked from the game on the Jets second offensive play, has retreated to the locker room for a going over. The Jets said his return is probable. So far, Chad Pennington and the more mobile Brad Smth are sharing the snaps at quarterback.

The Jets are going to drop as many in coverage as they can, try to get pressure with a four-man rush. It's not been an effective approach so far as Tom Brady has time to write Christmas cards and scan the field for receivers.

The first quarter's over and New England's about to gamble on fourth-and-2 from the New York 20.

That didn't take long. On the Jets second play from scrimmage, Kellen Clemens got smushed into the turf by Richard Seymour. He landed on his left shoulder but was able to throw a pick in the right flat to Eugene Wilson which Eugene (a forgotten man in the Pats defense) returned for a touchdown.

Twenty-one different Patriots have now scored touchdowns for the Patriots. That ties them with the 98 Broncos and the 87 Rams for the most by a team.

New England is going to be down three key players today as safety James Sanders, tight end Benjamin Watson and guard Stephen Neal are all inactive.

For the Jets, nobody earth-shaking is taking a seat.

FOXBOROUGH - What we got outside? Lemme tell ya. It snowed six inches last night. Since about 9:30, the snow's turned over to rain/sleet. The kind of stuff that hurts? Feels like a million little needles? That's what's coming down.

The wind is pretty significant at times but it's not ridiculous. It's supposed to get nastier later.

The tarp is being plowed piece by piece and then removed so the elements are going to hit it for about 90 minutes before kickoff.

Anyway, if you're a fantasy freak, it's a good day to bank on power back Heath Evans for the Patriots.

We'll hit you back in due time.

And no I'm not talking about the Mitchell Report.

I'm talking about the HOUSTON TEXANS beating the Denver Broncos! Only a few days after beating Tampa Bay and with a backup QB and their running backs injured, the Texans rocked last night!

Every sports guy out there has already brought up the NFL Draft and that fateful decision between Reggie Bush and Mario Williams and Vince Young. I don't feel the need to repeat it. Or to rub it in. Williams is a stud and has quietly built his case.

I will say that it is (for the first time) fun being a Texans Fan!!

New England is a 23.5-point favorite over the "J-E-T-S, JETS JETS JETS!" at Gillette Stadium on Sunday. It'll be a closer shave than that, and if I were a betting man, I'd lay a pile on the Airplanes. Here's why:

1. Weather....Snow, wind, ice. That slows offenses down. Randy Moss may have played in Minnesota, but that was in a dome.
2. Belichick...If you've learned anything, it's that he's not here to fulfill our prophecies. The media has been predicting a Nebraska-Kansaas circa 1977 score since the second week of the season. It's all you've heard. Even the HBO dudes at "Inside the NFL" were predicting 50-10 scores earlier this week. Well, Mr. Bill understands you can win 30-10 and still go 16-0...and THAT is what's really important to him.
Do you think he wants to give the media the satisfaction of writing that he is a vindictive man? A vengeful person? He may be, but he won't give any of us the satisfaction of accurately reading his mind.
3. The Maximus Factor. People are tuning in to see a reenactment of the Battle of Carthage, a la "Gladiator". But the Jets are going to do everything to deny them that satisfaction, too. This is the Jets' Super Bowl, and they're going in not just to beat the spread, but to ruin the Pats' undefeated season.
4. Did I mention the weather? Go stand outside in 20-degree weather with wind and sleet sniping at you for nearly four hours tomorrow. Give yourself a 15-minute break midway through. If you can't find weather like that, consider yourself lucky.
4. The Porge Factor: My brother's favorite team is the Jets, and they'll be able to hear him cheering all the way from The Native New Yorker bar and grill in Chandler.

Jenah, We Hardly Knew Ya'

I'm not a reality show fan, but I found myself oddly transfixed by "America's Next Top Model" season finale on Wednesday. First thought: Tyra Banks needs to do some curls. Second thought: Jenah is the clear winner of the three finalists. Most photogenic, most personality. So where does she finish? Third. I so don't know modeling.

If you are searching for holiday gift ideas, I have one for you.

I actually heard about this from the '07 BMX Dirt Dew Cup Champion, and friend, Ryan Nyquist. His new wife Ali sent the information to him and he then passed it along.

It's a gift that not only will make you feel proud to give it, but it will help someone you've never met. Consider it the best bake sale you've ever contributed to. Why? Because it will help advance the cure for hundreds of children suffering from a rare form of cancer. And there aren't many reasons better then that.

A group of parents banded together and took charge of an otherwise hopeless situation, all for the sake of their children. They bake the cookies and ship them out to you or whoever you buy them for and 98 percent of the profits go to funding a new and necessary treatment. It's not a lot to ask and a simple way to make an enormous difference. Don't like cookies? No worries. You can simply make a donation.

So 'tis the season...get a ordering!!!

Read this article to learn more.
And go here to order!

In what was a not-so-secret announcement, Florida State officially stated Bobby Bowden would return as Head Coach next season and that when he in fact chose to retire, it would be Offensive Coordinator Jimbo Fisher who would succeed him.

Now what you may not have known is that Jimbo has long been an FSU fan and there couldn't be a more perfect fit.

From Warchant.com:
Ever since his high school days when he participated in the Bowden Academy Football Camp, Fisher adopted the Seminoles has his favorite school. His love for all things Garnet and Gold only grew after he went to play quarterback for Terry Bowden at Salem College (now Salem International University) and Samford University. During his senior year at Samford, when Fisher was named Division III National Player of the Year, he was frequently seen on the sidelines sporting a Florida State cap.

That year was ironically the start of FSU's record-breaking 14-straight seasons of top five finishes. Now, 20 years later, Fisher is officially the head-coach-in-waiting and sometime within the next few years he will begin his own era at Florida State.

A little additional information forwarded from my friend (and one of the biggest Nole Fans alive) Roy about Fisher:
He said he has stayed true to one philosophy throughout his coaching career - be honest to himself, his bosses and his players. He said a wise coach told him some 20 years ago that he should worry only about doing the best job he could, and that the rest would take care of itself.
"If you want the next job, don't go chasing it," the coach told him. "Do a great job in the one you've got, and somebody will notice."
That coach was Bobby Bowden.

Transition is hard.
Change is difficult.
But given this situation and the respect these two men have for each other, it can only mean positive things for the future of this football program. And how adorable is that picture?

After attending the Heisman Ceremony Saturday night, I've come to this conclusion:

I'd probably love you if you wore garnet and gold.

In the last year and a half I've covered everything from the Super Bowl to the NFL Draft to just drafted NBA players to playing basketball with an NBA star. Each and every single time, I've interviewed a Florida Gator. Each and every single time, I've walked away thinking: "I hope he does really well in the _ _ _. What a nice guy."

So of course it was no surprise when I walked away from Tim Tebow, the only sophomore to ever win the biggest award in college football, thinking: "That's a great kid." I even walked up to his mom, shook her hand and told her congratulations for raising a wonderful son.

Now to be fair, when I am covering an event, I leave my personal team loyalty at the door. I would never be disrespectful to a guy just because he played for a team I didn't root for. It's just not the way you do things. And I know that the other 100 plus journalists that were there on Saturday night do the same thing. We have a job to do. When Urban Myer took the stage, I couldn't help but look at him with respect and admiration. He's a man who has handled his role with class and perspective. I have a job to do. Once the job is done, the time comes to go back to being a fan.

It amazes me how as a fan, you decide regardless of the type of person, who you like and who you don't. You automatically pledge loyalty and devotion to the person who throws on the uniform you like and vow utter disgust and intolerance towards the guy who puts on the uniform you dispise. All that without ever truly knowing what type of person they are. (Maybe that is why we are shocked when one of our favorite players acts in a way we would never expect. We never take the time to ask, just blind allegiance.)

Of course, games are not won based on who is the nicest or who plays fair. Ask Colt Brennan. He'll tell you, "I learned a long time ago, life is not fair." His path to Hawaii was one tainted with controversy and a long hard look at himself. Now he can't imagine himself anywhere else. Games are not won based on projected potential, just ask Chase Daniel. The MIssouri QB was told he was too short to play, passed on by schools who did not believe in giving someone a chance because the person did not measure up to the numbers those schools used to put a player into uniform. Awards are not won because you are the most hyped player in college football. Darren McFadden would know, times two.

And while the Heisman is reserved for the best player in college football, this year it represented something more. It told the story and struggle of the four men who were nominated. And even though none of the four nominees carried the colors of my team, they each carried strength and character. And sometimes that in intself is worth rooting for, regardless of if it is my team or your team.

Fact: The following was sent to me this morning by a friend.
Note: This friend is a die-hard Pats fan.
Unfortunate Fact: I owe this friend half my paycheck due to "double-or-nothing" type bets.

Subject: Football Humor

John Madden was in Pittsburg to announce a football game one weekend when he noticed a special telephone near the Steelers' bench. He asked QB Rothlisberger what it was used for and was told it was a hotline to God.

Welcome to God's Country.

Just up from the Steelers and Patriots locker room where New England was in the mood to chortle after dope-slapping Pittsburgh 34-13.

The Steelers, meanwhile, talked the talk of the vanquished, saying the right things but pining for another shot.

Randy Moss and Tom Brady were particularly good.

We'll get you with their comments shortly.

The Patriots are the first team to move to 13-0 since the 2005 Indianapolis Colts. Before that, the only teams that got to this point were the 1998 Broncos and the 1972 Dolphins.

The Colts lost to the Chargers and the Broncos lost to the Giants to prevent both from getting to 14-0. The Dolphins, playing against a very weak schedule, were able to get to 14-0.

Maybe you'd heard about that.

After the Tom Brady touchdown pass to Wes Welker, Logan Mankins and James Harrison mixed it up good. The two men failed to disengage from their blocks after the pass and things got chippy.

The Patriots just went after the man who delivered the guaranteed Steelers win, Anthony Smith. Running a double pass (a crossfield left to right lateral from Tom Brady to Randy Moss then a throw back to Brady) with a bomb to Jabar Gaffney, New England scores a 56-yard touchdown to make it 24-13. Smith, again, sucked up on the play and was burned.

The Steelers and Patriots are dead even in total yards - 193 to 193 - but Pittsburgh is killing the Pats in time of possession and will get the ball to start the second half.

New England's had the ball for just 10:48 of the first 30 minutes.

How did it get so lopsided? Well, the Patriots scored on a touchdown on a one-play drive while the Steelers had the ball for 8:41 on a field goal drive. Pittsburgh has also gone 5-for-10 on third and fourth downs while New England is just 2 for 6.

The Steelers have dominated time of possession, 18:30 to 9:01 so far and the main reason for that is they've gone 5 for 10 on third and fourth down attempts.

The Steelers just picked up a pair of fourth-and-shorts on the last drive that ended with a Jeff Reed field goal to make it 14-13.

Pittsburgh answered the Randy Moss touchdown (No. 2) with a score of their own when Najeh Davenport got loose on a Ben Roethlisberger scramble and beat Ellis Hobbs for a score.

That made it 14-10 and the Steelers stopped New England after their score but a punt by the Pats hit William Gay in the jingle bells (off of one bounce) to give New England the ball.

But Steve Gostkowski missed just to the right from 48 yards away to dodge the bullet.

Ewwww.....Anthony "We'll Win" Smith just thought it vitally important for him to come up and support the run on a first-down play from the New England 37 yard line. So when the Patriots went play action and Smith was still trotting toward the line, the most talented wide receiver in NFL history, Randy Moss, was running by himself down the middle of the field. He caught the Tom Brady pass for a 63-yard touchdown.

Ike Taylor also came off Moss to defend the run as well.

Tom Brady just hit Randy Moss with a five-yard touchdown pass then got into the face of Anthony "We'll Win" Smith and told him a thing or two about a thing or two. As Brady and Smith jawed, Steelers linebacker James Harrison bumped Brady from behind and caused a little head butt action.

The Patriots just swarmed and dropped Ben Roethlisberger on the first play of the ensuing drive.

The Steelers just completed a 15-play, 59-yard drive with a Jeff Reed field goal from 23 yards out.

Pittsburgh converted three out of four third downs on the drive.

New England just got a lengthy return to their own 48 yard line from second-year man Chad Jackson to set them up for their second drive.

The Ravens ran wild on New England last Monday. So far the Patriots have seen Steelers back Willie Parker run twice and they've stopped him for a gain of 2 and a loss of 2.

There's been a creeping belief that the Cowboys, through weeks of NFC success, are ready to be elevated to the level of NFL elite.

Elite teams don't generally get crumpled on the ground by non-existent running games the way the Cowboys have today against Detroit.

Kevin Jones and T.J. Duckett have combined so far for 151 yards and three touchdowns. The Lions had 926 yards coming into the game.

As the New England Patriots defensive backs circled the perimeter of the field before their stretching, they trotted past the Steelers defensive backs. As they did, New England safety Rodney Harrison said something to Smith who took a few steps toward Harrison then stepped back.

Smith was encircled by television cameras for most of the pregame stretch. If he was trying to bump up his Q-rating, it worked.

Greg Jennings, the Packers second-year wideout, with 10 touchdown catches on 44 receptions.

Kyle Vanden Bosch, Tennessee's tireless defensive end.

Mike Vrabel, Patriots linebacker, and his 10 sacks.

James Harrison, Steelers linebacker.

None of the above have ever gone to Hawaii.

The Chargers trail 17-3 at Tennessee and Lorenzo Neal just hopped off the field on one foot which isn't good when you're a fullback lead-blocking for LaDainian Tomlinson. Frankly, it isn't good in any line of work but that's a different deal.

If one would like to bear witness to the ineptitude of NFL passers in 2007, this is good proof.

Vince Young and Philip Rivers have combined to go 21 for 35 for 204 yards and four interceptions so far.

And these are your "next generation quarterbacks."

The Steelers are going to sit Troy Polamalu today with his knee injury. LaMarr Woodley is the only other player of serious consequence who will sit. Santonio Holmes, the Steelers wide receiver is a go as is offensive lineman Marvel Smith.

For New England, Chad Brown will sit as will right guard Stephen Neal. Russ Hochstein will play in Neal's place.

FOXBORO, Mass - We are in the warm, cozy confines of the Gillette Stadium press box. It's like a womb. With a view.

The sky's got that gunmetal look to it and a storm is expected to kick in early this evening.

There's no wind, however, so the likelihood is that the elements won't impact the game.

Meanwhile, the troubled but talented Sam Farmer, NFL writer for the LA Times tells me this...

Since Ben Roethlisberger took over as Steelers starter in 2004 Pittsburgh's beaten teams that wound up seeded first or second in their conference on seven different occasions.

In 2004, they beat the Patriots (AFC No. 2) and Eagles (NFC No. 1), in 2005 they beat Chicago (NFC No. 2, the Colts and Broncos (AFC Nos. 1 and 2) and the Seahawks (NFC No. 1)

Last year they beat the Saints (NFC No. 2).

So there.

Original programming idea during the writers strike: Air a brand-new Christmas special hosted by a stand-up comic who moonlights as a TV detective best known for favoring dark clothes to match his mood. Call your special Jingle Belzer!

Only on NBC!

I'm spending my first Saturday afternoon not watching anything college football-related since Saturday, August 18th. I'll tune in for a while to the Tebownanza in Times Square and be mildly surprised if he does not win. If he doesn't, it'll be McFadden.

I just don't understand why Chase Daniel, as fantastic a season as he and Missouri had this year, is in town. Why Daniel ahead of Pat White or Sam Bradford or even Dennis Dixon? Or Kevin Smith? And how come nobody but nobody ever cites Graham Harrell , who only threw 45 TD passes and led the nation in passing this season? Because it's the system?!? Well, then, if everyone knows what's coming, why doesn't anyone stop it?

For the foreseeable future, Barry Bonds is likely to be defined by the images Friday morning of him entering federal court in San Francisco to enter his not-guilty pleas -- the dark suit and big bald head bobbing into view every now and then amid the frenzy of the cameras.

This is always one of the most difficult obstacles facing a famous defendant: the perp walk.

Prosecutors know this all too well. That's why even the most outsized of defendants, and in this case one could read that figuratively if not literally, is afforded no special privilege, no back-door entry into the courthouse, away from the crowds and the cameras.

Especially in federal court. There are not and never will be television cameras in federal court, so what you see outside is what you get -- a defendant accused of a crime.

It's humbling.

Deliberately so.

The Bonds matter will not be a televised circus like the O.J. Simpson spectacle in Los Angeles in the mid-1990s.

That was in California state court.

This is federal court.

And this is a case where imagery matters because inside the courtroom, where Barry Bonds may well be judged by 12 ordinary folks, such imagery is tighly controlled.

We saw this just weeks ago in the Michael Vick case, also in federal court. In that instance, the defining pictures of Vick were of the former Atlanta quarterback walking up and into the courthouse in the company of federal agents.

The problem for anyone newly accused is twofold.

One, because there are no cameras inside the court, the perp walk is the only fresh image available to reporters, photographers, producers and editors, all of whom are under intense pressure to feed the 24/7 maw that is the insatiable cable and dot-com news universe in which we all now swim.

Two, inevitably, the walk is contrasted with prior action shots -- in Vick's case of him on the field, in Bonds' case of the slugger at bat.

If you were a prosecutor, wouldn't you just love for that contrast to be shown over and again?

To answer: yes, you would, because the entire reason you bring a case like the feds brought against Vick and, now against Bonds, is to send a message.

In Vick's case -- the federal government would not hesitate to step in to curb a heinous practice if prosecutors believed state and local authorities had not moved swiftly or efficiently enough.

In Bonds' case -- nothing, and I mean nothing, raises the hackles of federal prosecutors like the suspicion that someone is lying under oath. Doesn't matter how famous that person is.

Of course Barry Bonds is presumed innocent.

Let's all remember that.

It's also the case going forward, meanwhile, that virtually every time Bonds is mentioned on air, he's going to be shown heading into court. Accused of a crime.

It's not a pretty place to be.

1. Since I'm more of an American League guy than a National League guy, is it okay if I refer to one of my favorite TV shows as How I Yank Your Mother ?

2. Here's a new retail idea: "Borders Without Doctors". It's a national chain bookseller that prohibits six-figure earning health professionals.

3. Sequel that's gotta happen: You advance 25 years into the future and find that Seth, Evan and McLovin' are still hurting for chicks and having to buy them alcohol in order to hang with them. And you call this film.... Superbald .

4. I'm watching "Just Like Heaven" on HBO and I'm thinking to myself, as I watch Reese Witherspoon, Are there $400 hair stylists in limbo?

I guarantee - GUARANTEE - NBC wins more Emmys than CBS, ABC and Fox this season.

And you say, "Great. Terrific. What's that got to do with you?"

Exactly.

That's what I said when I read that Anthony Smith guaranteed a Steelers' victory on Sunday against the 12-0 Patriots.

Oh, of course, Anthony Smith. The one heartbeat the rest of the Steelers move to. When I think Anthony Smith, I see the man who's next in line to join the roll call of Steelers defensive greats like Lambert, Ham, Blount, Greenwood, Kirkland, Lloyd, Porter, Polamalu and Hampton.

He's just like them. Only less so. The 24-year-old second-year man from Syracuse just became a starter this season. He's a promising player. But given that the performance of the free safety is rarely a game determinant, Smith would have been wise to leave the guarantees to guys who WILL have the chance to make game-changing plays. Hines Ward. James Harrison. Ben Roethlisberger.

Smith's guarantee reminds me of something my dear departed Daddy used to say, "If I want any of your (bleep), I'll squeeze your head."

Tim.
Darren.
Chase.
Colt.

Which of the four will be this year's Heisman Winner?

They arrive to NYC for the announcement of the winner on Saturday night. Welcome to the Big Apple boys. May the best playa win.

It was close, at 59-57 Irish, but now Notre Dame has outscored K-State 9-2 since. The shot of the night was McAlarney's three-pointer from the top of the key that made it 62-57 (or was it 64-59?) with just a little over a minute to play.

The Beas just doesn't have that much help, and the teammates he does have fed him the ball sparingly at best. If that were Kobe he would already have elbowed two of his teammates and requested a transfer by now.

That's it for the Beasley Blog....the only Jimmy V Classic-related blog that dares to, "Hold the Mayo!"

Just saw the first ad for Denzel Washington's flick about the black-college debate team that takes on Harvard. The movie's called The Great Debaters . Yeah, yeah, yeah... we can all imagine the other titles they might have considered.

******

Kansas State is doing a terrific job of taking Michael Beasley out of the game. Yeah, you read it right.

**********

Notre Dame up 59-51. Randy Ayers' son had a pretty drive down the lane that would have put Notre Dame up by ten. Ball clanged short in my inner voice said, "That could have put it away." Watch out for a K-State run.

K-State has scored the last six points since and--worse--the Irish just cleared out for Tory Jackson. Dickie V: "You gotta win or lose with your best." Exactly. That's Harangody or Kurz or McAlarney.

McAlarney just scored off a pretty back door. Irish triple-teaming Beasley. He only has 17 points tonight, 2 in the second half.

McAlarney just buried a huge three in front of all 200 of his friends family from Staten Island.

64-59 Irish, with 1:26 to play. The Beas: 19 points.

CBS is airing "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" right now. I think there' some similarity between ol' Rudolph and Kyle McAlarney. Yes, because Rudolph was caught red-handed (red-nosed?) in possession of some weed. Yukon Cornelius was the mule. Herbie the Dentist his dealer.

The Beas just scored his first bucket of the second half.

Meanwhile, the Irish are finally heating up from outside. They now lead by ten.

Frank Martin, K-State head coach. He looks like big fun. When your coach's doppelganger is the one-armed man from "The Fugitive", that's troubling.

Tory Jackson just dribbled too much and then missed a layup. On the next Irish possession, he tried to thread a no-look pass through three Wildcat players. Stolen. I swear, it's like I'm having a nightmare of all my worst (i.e., typical) plays from Basketball City at Chelsea Piers.

Is Michael Beasley still playing in this game?

Tory Jackson just banked a shot from the midst of the paint. He's 5-11. What's he doing? It went in...that's only going to encourage him.

59-51, Irish.

The Beas finished the first half with 15 points and seven rebounds. Certainly solid, but at least in this one half I've seen him, he's not the dynamic player that Durant is. I mean, who is? And so that may not be a fair comparison to make, but what I'm saying is that Beasley is more Oden than Durant. He's a sweet, athletic player who operates out of the low post. He's not a wing, not a flashy perimeter player. But he is quick down low.

The Irish are up by 2, but here is why, if you're a Notre Dame fan, they'll break your heart in the first round of the NCAAs again this season: average, at best, point guard play and subpar perimeter shooting. When big games get tight late, you need a quality penetrator and a stone-cold outside shooter. The Irish have had quality perimeter shooters, many of whom (Matt Carroll, Troy Murphy, Chris Quinn) are currently earning huge NBA salaries. But the best they have now is Kyle MacAlarney, who is nowhere near the shooters they were.

The Irish are 1-12 from the perimeter now.

*************

I just joined the "Powdered Wig Presidents Club", membership determined by if you donate a currency note with George Washington's mug on it.

40-39, Irish, 16:02 of the second half. Tory Jackson just got whistled for carrying the ball.

Luke Harangody, who has that patented farmboy/serial killer look down cold, is just tearing it up. Unofficially, I've got him at 19 points and about 12 boards.

Meanwhile, Tory Jackson just drove into the paint, got airborne, and found he had nowhere to go/pass/shoot yet again. That's at least the third time tonight. Turnover. Tory. Aptly named.

DIckie V. was just explaining that if any of us wants to pledge $10,000 a year for five consecutive years, then we become members of the V Foundation's "Presidents Club". I don't know why they call it the Presidents Club, because what you really need to toss their way are Benjamins (100 of them, annually), and I don't think he ever rose to more than ambassador to France.

Anyway, don't get me wrong. I'm anti-cancer. Not pro-cancer.

My favorite moments from just before halftime:

1) Dickie V. informs us that his broadcast partner, Dan Shulman, has just handed him a check for a "very generous figure". I wonder if Mike Patrick is sitting home, sighing, "Whew, thank God I didn't draw that assignment tonight."

2) K-State coach Frank Martin telling Doris Burke that "We got a few guys who don't understand that when you throw the ball to number 30 in the post, good things happen." I'd love to be in that locker room right now.

It's 36-34, Irish, at the half.

ND was up 28-18 when Dickie V. said, "Somebody has to tell these K-State kids that they have the best player in the country on their team and they need to get him the ball."

True dat, Dickie.

Somebody relayed the message to K-State, which went on a 10-2 run.

Harangody is just having his way with K-State, with 15 points and nine boards already. Frank Martin, the Wildcat head coach and another former Huggy Bear lieutenant, finally gave us the switch we wanted and now has the Beaz guarding Harangody.

By the way, Notre Dame's point guard, Tory Jackson, is giving a clinic on how not to play point guard. He looks like me out there.

Dickie V. just said that "Michael Beasley may just be the best basketball player in America. Not freshman, but of anybody."

26.7 ppg, 15.0 ppg. Ya think?

Beasley, who scored his first bucket about a nanosecond after receiving his first low-post feed of the night (and was fouled, but missed the FT), is creating quite a stir. In fact, the Big 12 hasn't seen a freshman this talented since...last year.

You remember the second pick of the NBA draft? Kevin Durant. Beasley's numbers are better than those of Durant, who was one and done at Texas last year, thus far in the season. But thus far this evening the power forward stud of the game is Notre Dame's Luke Harangody . We're just five minutes in and Harangody, a 6-8 sophomore, already has 11 points and five rebounds.

Notre Dame, which is 5-2 this season, leads 15-11.

Harangody looks as if he's lost some weight, and Dickie V., whose son-in-law is a former Notre Dame quarterback, is already stumping for Harangody to replace John Carlson at tight end next season.

Durant and Beasley were childhood teammates, by the way. Both played for a 15-and-under AAU team, the D.C. Assault.

Beasley has been awesome from his very first game for the Wildcats. In their exhibition opener versus Fort Hays State, Beas filled up the stat sheet to the tune of 35 points, 15 rebounds, six steals, four assists and four blocks. That's just Chamberlainesque (another Kansas collegian).

You may be wondering, by the way, what is one of the nation's very best players--if not the best-- doing at Kansas State? To find out, you should read a terrific story by Bill Reiter of the Kansas City Star . Here's the link:

http://www.kansascity.com/165/story/355957.html

But you'll never guess who was involved. That's right, Huggy Bear. Bob Huggins.

Huggins was the coach at K-State. There was a young assistant coach at Charlotte, Dalonte Hill , who had befriended Beasley a few years earlier. Hill had grown up in D.C. and played for the Assault before having a star-crossed college career at Charlotte. Things didn't work out to play professionally, so Hill returned to D.C. to help coach the Assault...which had both Beasley and Durant on the team.

Hill's former college coach, Harold Lutz, hired him as an assistant. With Hill's influence, no doubt, Beasley decided to attend Charlotte. And then guess what happened?

Hill's phone rang. Huggy Bear offered him a job at K-State. Hill, a 28ish assistant with very little experience and not much of a college hoops pedigree (he transferred out of Charlotte and played his final season at Bowie State), was being offered a big-time assistant's job. On one side, Huggy Bear. On the other, Lutz, who had not only given him his first job but had gotten him a scholarship to finish his education at Charlotte after his eligibility was expired.

Hill boogied out to Manhattan. Left a message on Lutz's phone to tell him that he was leaving. And, yes, taking Beasley with him.

And then what happens? Huggy Bear hightails it to Morgantown for the West Virginia job. And now Hill is the associate head coach at K-State and not even thirty years old yet. If you remember how Guy Pearce climbed the ladder in L.A. Confidential , you get an idea of how Hill's become king of the hill in a very short span of time.

I was lucky enough to be in the audience the night that Jimmy V. gave his famous "Don't Ever Give Up" speech. Kelly Naqi, who is an ESPN reporter and a crazy funny loyal friend, invited me. It was pretty electric in there. It may have been the very first ESPYs, and it took place in a theatre located literally beneath the court of Madison Square Garden. So, yes, it's cool and appropriate that they're hosting the Jimmy V Classic there this evening.

Here's my beef, though. Granted, Jimmy V has been an inspiration and his charisma launched the V Foundation and helped raise $70 million or whatever the figure is. All admirable stuff. But Jimmy V is not curing cancer. Dickie V is not curing cancer. John Saunders is not curing cancer. Digger Phelps may think he is, but he's not.

Thousands of doctors and anonymous lab researchers are working on curing cancer. And they were doing it decades before Jimmy V. ever arrived at N.C. State. And they'll be doing it for a few more decades to come, I imagine. You can't name them all, but they're doing the job every day. And no one asks them for their autograph. Dickie V, everyone else, they're to be commended for all the fund-raising work they do. But it's the geeks in the lab coats who are doing the heavy lifting.

Question: If you're watching the Jimmy V Classic on "Mute" while listening to Dennis Leary's comedy album, "No Cure For Cancer", is that bad?

I'm bloggin' the Kansas State-Notre Dame game this evening, and not because I'm a huge Rob Kurz fan. No, tonight Michael Beasley makes his debut at the "world's greatest arena", Madison Square Garden. Beasley, a 6-10 freshman out of Washington, D.C., has been tearing it up in the first month of the college basketball season. He is leading the nation in both scoring (26.7 ppg) and rebounding (15.0 rpg), which is dynamite for anyone, much less a true frosh.

It may be a Kansas thing. The first player ever to lead the nation in both scoring and rebounding for an entire seasonwas the X-Man, Xavier McDaniel , of Wichita State. X did it two years in a row, if I remember correctly.

Pats just completed a fourth down and now have another to save perfection....fourthand 5 from Ravens 15...

New England's got the ball and a four-point deficit to overcome with 3:30 left.

If you're the Ravens right now, you sell out and go after Brady with everything, don't you?

To this point, the New England wide receivers have nine catches. The longest, a 42-yarder to Donte Stallworth, came in the first quarter. Take that out and New England's wideouts have eight catches for 59 yards. That's normall one drive's work for the New England offense.

The story is the Baltimore secondary.

The Baltimore secondary is covering exceptionally well and has effectively taken Randy Moss out of the game. They just came up with a pair of coverage sacks of Brady on consecutive plays and now the Pats are punting away with 12:38 left.

The Patriots trail 24-17 two plays into the fourth quarter.

Kyle Boller just delivered a dart to Daniel WIlcox to put the Ravens ahead once again and New England is going to have to be very efficient and come up with a stop somewhere to escape with their perfect record intact.

Willis McGahee and Musa Smith have carried the Ravens to the New England 4-yard line and the Ravens are about to reclaim the lead. New Englan's getting gashed on the ground in this one and a look of consternation (more pronounced than normal) is on Bill Belichick's face.

Somehow, Randy Moss lost Chris McAlister coming off the line on first-and-goal from the Ravens 3 and took an easy lob from Brady for the touchdown. There's 4:26 left in the third.

Brady now has 40 touchdown passes and is the fourth quarterback in NFL history to reach that mark.

Kevin Faulk picked up a first down on a fourth-and-1, a key play in New England's current drive and one of seven New England runs that got them inside the Baltimore 5. It's now first-and-goal at the 3 with the Patriots trailing 17-10.

Willis McGahee just rolled in from 17 yards away after Junior Seau got sucked into the middle of the junk. It was an 8 plays 73 yard drive for the Ravens and McGahee is now at 106 yards on the night.

When the Eagles hung with the Patriots - actually put a good scare into them last week - they played the way an outgunned team has to. They let it all hang out with flea flickers, onsides kicks, fourth down gambles and a blitzing defense.

We're not seeing that from the Ravens tonight. Instead, they seem content to clinch and hold and hope for the Patriots to stumble first.

Over the first 30 minutes, that strategy had its merits.

Especially on the last New England drive when the Ravens went bland and handed off three times to give the ball to the Patriots with plenty of time to mount a drive. The Patriots took a shot downfield to Randy Moss that hung up too long and was broken up by Ed Reed. Then Reed came up with a pick off a deflection that likely would have led to points if Reed hadn't been stripped at the Patriots 27.

But banking on Patriots mistakes is like betting on a 70 degree days in December. They come sometimes but not often enough to build a gameplan around them. Baltimore has to become more aggressive in the second half to stay with the Patriots.

Kyle Boller has had a very competent first half and has stepped out of some hairy situations but he's not likely to duck the pressure all day.

Neither quarterback is lighting it up in the wind.

Brady is 8 for 18 for 95 yards with a pick. It's his worst statistical half of the season. Boller is 7 for 12 for 92 yards with a touchdown.

The Ravens get the ball first to start the second half.

A pass intended for Wes Welker was just broken up by Corey Ivy (New England wanted a PI) and the ricochet went to Ed Reed which is bad for business if you're a Patriots fan. Reed returned it to the Patriots 27 but was stripped by Kevin Faulk and the ball was recovered by Ben Watson. The Pats now have it first-and-10 and they'll play for halftime.

There are 71, 382 in Ray Lewis' house tonight. A few are on the coffee tables, the basement's packed.

We're almost to halftime and the Ravens are practically in a clinch right now just trying to get to halftime 10-10. They have the ball and are trying to milk it. And Musa Smith just got blown up in the backfield on third-and-2 by Junior Seau and the Ravens have to punt.

Corey Ivy just got called for a hold on Wes Welker away from the play on a third-and-4 play for New England, giving New England a first down after Tom Brady's throw to Randy Moss was juggled and incomplete.

Chris McAlister then grabbed Randy Moss on second-and-goal inside the 5 to put the ball at the 1 and Heath Evans bulled in to tie the game at 10 with 5:22 left in the half.

The Ivy penalty will be one the Ravens rue.

It's too early to say things are getting interesting in Baltimore but the Ravens have stoned the New England offense on consecutive possessions and have scored on their past two possessions to go up 10-3.

If New England's down at the half, then the game officially becomes capital I Interesting.

The Ravens did what they needed to do with the 53-yard gift/great play by Kyle Boller - they cashed in with a touchdown on third-and-goal from the Patriots 4. It's 7-3 Baltimore.

Boller squeezed the pass in between Adalius Thomas and Rodney Harrison for the touchdown.

The Ravens just overloaded the right edge of the Patriots offensive line and got a sack from Corey Ivy on the first play of the Patriots ensuing drive.

Kyle Boller just slipped out of a would-be sack by Adalius Thomas and Jarvis Green, rolled right and hit Devard Darling for a gain of 53 up the right sideline as Pats rookie Brandon Meriweather didn't break down when coming up to make the stop on Darling.

It was a third-and-11 play.

Baltimore did a nice job on the New England offense in its second drive, forcing a three-and-out punctuated by a near pick on the left sideline by Samari Rolle on Brady's first pass directed at Randy Moss, a short hitch near the sticks.

You have to figure the Ravens need to play a near-perfect game to take out New England. So far, they've committed three penalties.

The Patriots are working out of a 4-3 defense possibly necessitated by the loss last week of Rosevelt Colvin.

The unpredictable nature of the New England front was in evidence on the Ravens first third down play.

Junior Seau and Adalius Thomas lined up as the end with their hands on the ground. Richard Seymour and Ty Warren were the tackles. Mike Vrabel was a standup linebacker on the line of scrimmage.

New England cobbles together a 77 yard drive that ends with a field goal after a forced drop by tight end Ben Watson on second-and-goal and an unforced drop by Watson on third-and-goal.

The Patriots had little trouble moving the ball through the air on the Ravens and there was little pressure on Brady who was 4 for 5 for 54 yards on the drive.

The wind and the cold are going to keep the Patriots offense from scoring quickly.

Baltimore, however, isn't going to be scoring at all. I like New England in this one, 24-10.

With that, Tom Brady just drilled Donte Stallworth for a 43-yard gain plus a 12-yard facemask penalty to put the Pats at the Ravens 12.

Mike Anderson, Gerome Sapp, Jared Gaither, Todd Heap, Demetrius Williams, Edgar Jones and Zarnell Fitch are all inactive for the Ravens tonight.

This has really turned into a lost season for Heap who's only played in six games and has 23 catches for 239 yards and one touchdown on the year.

Troy Brown, Chad Brown, Eddie Jackson, Wesley Britt, Eugene Wison and Chad Jackson are inactive tonight for the Patriots.

Eugene Wilson is now a healthy scratch for the second consecutive week.

Talking to an AFC scout just a minute ago, I asked him how he thought this game would shake out between the Patriots and Ravens.

"It won't be like last week," he said, referring to New England's narrow win over the Eagles on Sunday night.

Bear this in mind, those who are interested in such information, the wind has been whipping at about 30 mph most of the day down here.

At the moment, it appears fairly calm judging by the flags atop the goalposts but if it kicks up again it will absolutely impact the game.

The Ravens put Steve McNair on injured reserve today, ending his season and quite possibly his time with Baltimore as well.

McNair will have surgery tomorrow on his injured left shoulder. But with 13 years of wear and tear on his body, an arm that's more pop gun than cannon and almost non-existent mobility, it could be time for McNair to call it a career.

The 13-year veteran has three years left on the deal he signed when he came to the Ravens from Tennessee (a deal that reportedly had an $11 million signing bonus) but there's no way he's seeing the end of that.

And, with Kyle Boller playing OK and showing modest signs of improvement, it's time to release McNair, make Boller the starter and look for the next answer either on someone else's roster or in April's draft.

If it is the draft, you can bet that a team like the Patriots - who currently hold the No. 2 pick via the Niners - will happily trade out of that spot and avoid the huge signing bonus they'll have to shell out. Then the Ravens can look at guys like Louisville's Brian Brohm or BC's Matt Ryan.

A few of us are still in the press box at the RCA Dome in Indianapolis, where the weather has turned truly nasty and the roof, just a few yards over our heads here in the press box, is starting to sway to and fro.

Sounds like ice or hail or something is whipping the roof as well.

As I say, this sort of weather is precisely why, 25 years ago, I left the midwest to move to California.

This one comes from Siem Reap,Cambodia, where an American, Bryan Saltus, shoots a 5-under 67 to win the inaugural Cambodian Open and then dedicates his first Asian Tour title to the Grateful Dead, whom he has seen in concert 153 times, saying the band has "inspired me all the way."

Me, too, dude, though not as much as Springsteen.

Nevertheless, most excellent. And the obvious leader in the clubhouse for long, strange trip of the year.

News flash: David Garrard throws his first pick of the year, the ball picked off midway through the fourth quarter by Elvin Bethea at the Indianapolis 2.

No harm, no foul, though -- Indy goes three and out after the pick.

There was a point during the fourth quarter when it looked like Indianapolis was going to win this with ease.

The quarter got underway with Indy stopping Jacksonville for a field goal, cutting the Colts' lead to 21-17.

Indy cames right back with a touchdown, Dallas Clark turning in a 17-yard catch and Ben Utecht coming back on the very next play for a 30-yard catch-and-run.

With 8:30 to go, the ball on the Jacksonville 1, the Jaguars called time out.

For nothing.

Indy scored on the next play, Manning to Luke Lawton on a college-style shovel pass.

When one team scores touchdowns in the fourth quarter and the other has to settle for field goals, that's usually the deal right there.

After the Garrard pick, and the Indy three-and-out, the Jaguars went eight plays in 78 yards, Garrard scrambling for the two-point converstion to cut the lead to 28-25 with 2:47 to play.

Then, though, the Colts ran out the clock -- Manning connecting with Reggie Wayne for 16, with Dallas Clark for 7 and then, twice, taking a knee.

Indy: just too good.

From 15 closer.

Holy mackerel.

The Skins called timeout to ice Lindell then tried to call a second timeout. One problem. Calling them back-to-back is illegal and a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

Lindell drilled the 36-yarder for the 17-16 win.

Ouch. We'll find out who called the timeout. It doesn't promise to be a fun postgame locker room for Washington.

The Bills just had a successful 51-yarder by Rian Lindell waved off by a Washington timeout with 8 seconds left. That would have made the final 17-16.

Lindell will give it another try momentarily.

To start the half: another long, long Jacksonville drive mixing run and pass.

And another Jaguars score.

Twelve plays, 69 yards, 6:54 off the clock, the TD coming on a 2-yard David Garrard play-action pass to a wide-open Mercedes Lewis.

The Indy defense has no option but to respect those play-action fakes. On the first play of the half, Fred Taylor ran for nine yards. On the second play, he ran for 17.

For nearly all the time that Jacksonville had the ball, on the Indy sideline Peyton Manning and Dallas Clark played pitch and catch, the quarterback about 10 yards away from the tight end, Manning rifling the ball, Clark making the perfect triangle with his hands that his high school coach would be so proud of to make the grab.

Not once did Manning throw off target.

Not once did Clark bobble the ball.

Rhythm, routine, sublime excellence -- a pleasure to watch their professionalism.

Even the best, though, sometimes make inexplicable mistakes.

Manning moved the Colts into position for another score, the ball at the Jacksonville 11 -- and then, scrambling to his right, he threw into the end zone. Right to Jacksonville safety Reggie Nelson.

Nelson brought the ball back to the 33, where he was tackled by -- Manning.

As the quarter ends, Jacksonville has the ball deep in Indianapolis territory, driving again. Fred Taylor ripped off a 17-yard run to take the ball into Indy territory, Maurice Jones-Drew following with a 22-yard run up the middle to the Colts' 17.

Clearly both teams can move the ball.

Can either side mount something resembling a defense in the fourth?

Midway through the second quarter, that was some big hit by stud Indy safety Bob Sanders on Jacksonville fullback Greg Jones on a 1st and goal from the 5 to keep the Jags from scoring.

For all of one play.

Maurice Jones-Drew scampered in around the left side on the next play to cap a seriously impressive Jacksonville drive: 16 plays (seven pass, nine run), 84 yards, 11:10 off the clock.

Eleven-plus minutes off the clock!

That score cut the Indianapolis lead to 14-7.

So what did the Colts do? Come right back.

Indy ran the no-huddle with calm and conviction, Reggie Wayne keeping both feet inbounds on a great sideline catch at the 22, rookie Anthony Gonzalez turning in a sweet move after the catch to take the ball down to the 1.

There, though, Jacksonville defensive end Paul Spicer dropped Addai for a loss of three yards and what looked like an easy Manning to Gonzalez score was wiped out on a dubious offensive pass interference call on the rookie.

What's to worry? From the 14, Manning found Dallas Clark in the end zone for the score.

Six seconds to go in the half and Indy goes back up by two touchdowns.

You want impressive drives? Indy went for 14 plays and 80 yards and ate up 5:15.

Manning's quarterback rating for the half: 134.7.

Rian Lindell just banged a 38-yard field goal in with 11:30 left in the half to make it 9-5.

The Redskins still seem very much in control here. Chris Cooley had six catches for 76 yards by halftime. Jason Campbell's been sacked three times and is so far 13 for 22 for 152 yards.

The pre-game countdown here at the RCA Dome included a moment of silence for slain Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor. In a dome you can really hear when it is quiet; it was perfectly still.

Quicky, quirky stat: Coming into Sunday's games, Jacksonville and New England were the only teams this season to have not allowed a touchdown on the opposing team's opening possession. Indianapolis' first possession Sunday at the RCA Dome: two first downs, then a punt.

Quicky, quirky stat Part II: The Jaguars had scored on their opening possession in four straight games. Not Sunday. Scrambling on a third-down play, Jacksonville quarterback David Garrard was stripped of the ball at the Jaguars' 6-yard line, officials initially ruling that Jags' receiver Matt Jones fell on it at the 11 -- then, after review, ruling that Indy's Raheem Brock had recovered it. Indianapolis scored three plays later to go up, 7-0.

Part III: Jacksonville had scored a touchdown in the first quarter in five straight games. Not Sunday.

This just in: Jacksonville running back Fred Taylor is really, really good. So is second-year man Maurice Jones-Drew.

On a Los Angeles radio show this week, Jones-Drew predicted his UCLA Bruins would beat USC. Whoops.

On the Jags' second drive of the quarter, Garrard appeared to throw his first interception of the year. Nope. A false-start penalty on receiver Dennis Northcutt penalty made it a no-play.

Last week Jacksonville kicker Josh Scobee was money, kicking a career-high five field goals. He missed Sunday on his first attempt, from 46 yards -- wide left.

Jacksonville traditionally is one of the teams in the league with the fewest penalties. Through the first quarter, the Jags have already rung up five penalties, for 34 yards.

Injury report: Jaguars defensive lineman Reggie Hayward, second on the team with 3 1/2 sacks, went out on the fourth play of the game, his hip hurt. His return: questionable. Indy's Brock is also questionable after going out with what was described as a rib injury.

Jason Campbell just got corralled in the end zone on a third-and-11 by Angelo Crowell who came untouched and took Campbell down with little problem.

It's now 6-2 with 7:42 left in the half. The Redskins first two drives were 14 and 13 plays lending some credence to a higher level of execution with the emotion of the day. But there isn't enough evidence to clearly say that this Redskins performance is that far different from what it would have been three weeks ago.

Skins corner Shawn Springs just left the field gingerly after going high to attempt a pickoff of a Trent Edwards pass. The score is 3-0 Washington.

The Redskins defense played the first snap without a strong safety in tribute to the absence of Sean Taylor.

Bills running back Fred Jackson picked up a first down on the play, a carry over left tackle.

A December Sunday morning. Battleship gray sky. Crisp air that tightens your lungs as it enters them. The smell of barbecue and the sight of smoke wafting above row after row of cars, vans, campers and SUVs. Fans clustered in groups talking, drinking, throwing footballs.

Over the laughter and converstion and the sports radio blah, blah blaring from speakers, someone in a faraway spot plays Taps on a trumpet.

It's a reminder that today's Washington Redkins game at Fedex Field will be business as usual in many ways, utterly unique in one other. The Redskins best player is dead. Murdered six days ago in his Miami home.

No sense to it at all.

"He was a cornerstone of the team," 28-year-old Brandon Thornsvard from Richmond, Virginia said, referring to Redskins safety Sean Taylor. "It's strange coming here today with the atmosphere but I'm glad I could be here. I found myself thinking about it a lot this week. I expect a lot of emotion and for them to get a win. If they play well and win, if they play flat and don't, it's football. It is what it is."

Goodness but they love their Colts here. When I arrived just after midnight at the downtown Courtyard, the night manager was sporting a blue-and-white Colts insignia-emblazoned Santa hat. Very stylish.

Goodness but they are community-oriented here. Kickoff is about three hours away. A bunch of kids, most of them wearing Colts jerseys, are down on the turf here at the RCA Dome playing -- as I count them -- four different games of touch football.

As big an event as the Jaguars-Colts is here today -- we've got an 8-3 team against the defending Super Bowl champs, 9-2 -- the main event in downtown Indianapolis appears not to be football. The World Spirit Federation's cheer contest is going on next door at the Indiana Convention Center. There are thousands upon thousands of little girls, teen-age girls and their mommies lining the hallways and jamming the show halls (very few dads, it appeared). What a sight.

Speaking of culture: a couple blocks away from here is the Indiana state museum. I grew up about 100 miles east of Indianapolis, near Dayton, Ohio, and was stunned to see that the good people of Indiana apparently were so impressed so much history had taken place here that they felt compelled to throw up a most handsome and spacious building. Who knew?

Back to the game:

Indy's Marvin Harrison, injured Sept. 30 against Denver, apparently will be out again. Offensive linemen Tony Ugoh and Charlie Johnson look likely to play. Running back Joseph Addai, who missed Friday's workout because of a "team decision," is expected to play.

The Jags' injury list: linebacker Mike Peterson is out, receiver John Broussard questionable.

The first day of December yielded simply a blognanza of college football. The No. 1 (Missouri) and No. 2 (West Virginia) teams in the nation, one an underdog and the other a 28-point home overdog, both lost. The last winless team (Florida International) won, while the last loss-less team (Hawaii), found itself in a 21-point hole before at last winning, as the clocks back east inched toward 3 a.m.
The nation's leading rusher (Kevin Smith of Central Florida) ran and ran and ran, for 284 yards, while the nation's lmost efficient passer (Sam Bradford, Oklahoma) was his typically efficient self, completing 69% of his passes, tossing two TDs and no picks, as the Sooners scored the least shocking upset of a No. 1 team all season.
Karl Dorrell (UCLA) appears to have lost his job, Les Miles (Michigan) appears to not be leaving his job, and Paul Johnson (Navy) could probably have a higher-paying job if he so desires.

More Highlights from the Day:

MVP : Kevin Smith, Central Florida. The nation's leading rusher, and college football's most prolific ever in terms of carries in one season, looks like another Darren McFadden.
LVP : Steve Slaton, West Virginia: Remember that joke about how every time America catches a cold, Canada sneezes? Every time Pat White leaves a game with injury, Slaton (9 carries, 11 yards) records a virtual DNP.
Strangest Sight LSU coach Les Miles calling a pre-game press conference at the SEC Fiasco Bowl. So coaches really do have time to be people 24 hours prior to kickoff if the situation warrants it.
Most Familiar Sight : Army, on 2nd-and-goal from the 1, fumbling. FUBAR, and we've come to expect if from the Cadets, losers of six straight to their arch-rivals.
Best Finish, OT : Oregon State 38, Oregon 31 in 2OT. Beavers win at Autzen for first time since 1993 and Alexis Serna puts a nice finish on his career by nailing a 41-yarder in the first OT.
Best Finish, non-OT : Hawaii 35, Washington 28. U-Dub, which squandered a 28-7 lead, had first-and-goal on the 6 with under 30 seconds remaining but could not punch it in.
Pirates of the Caribbean 2 (or 3) Award for Least Entertaining Sequel : ACC Fiasco Bowl featuring Virginia Tech and Boston College. The game wasn't half-bad....just ask the 15,000 or so people who attended.
Best Long-Haired Freaky People : Jamie Silva, safety, Boston College. One interception and a fumble recovery for a 51-yard TD.
Worst Long-Haired Freaky People Hawaii's 296-pound running back Jason Laumoli, who had one carry that resulted in a lost fumble.
Best Announcing Team : Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson, CBS, on the SEC Fiasco Bowl.
J-Dub Spillage Tally : One Heineken, one bowl of salsa, for a one fumble per every eight hours ratio, which long-time observers will tell you is far less than my daily average.
Urgent Plea That Will Fall on Deaf Ears : Please, no more Fiasco Bowls (i.e., conference championship games), no more domes, no more neutral sites. The three least entertaining games on Saturday were Central Michigan-Miami (Ford Field), LSU-Tennessee (Georgia Dome) and Oklahoma-Mizzou (Alamodome). The latter two were not even bad games, but on the first I'd rather be watching USCLA from the Coliseum and during the second I was glued to Pitt-West Virginia. The more natural college football atmosphere had a lot to do with that.
You Can Get Lost Between the Moon and New York City Award: To Missouri QB Chase Daniel, who will not have to worry about flying to the Big Apple this weekend for a certain trophy presentation.
These Little Town Blues Are Melting Away Award : To Hawaii QB Colt Brennan, who completed 84% of his passes, five of them for TDs, to preserve Hawaii's undefeated season and likely earn him an invite to that awards presentation. The only candidate who wears an "H" on his helmet could just win the H award.
Least Aptly Named Player : Virginia Tech linebacker Xavier Adibi, who after all is not a DB but an LB.
The Citigroup Stock Award for Precipitous Fall : Cal, which lost the Big Game to Stanford (a team that lost at home to Notre Dame just seven days earlier) 20-13 to finish 6-6. On the afternoon of October 13 all Cal needed to do was just beat Oregon State at home to be the No. 1 team in the country.
The Elle Woods Award for Wardrobe Overload : To Oregon, which unofficially donned its third different helmet in as many games for the 111th Civil War. That is, there were fewer uniform variations in the actual Civil War than in Oregon's.
Elle Woods Runner-Up : Pitt coach Dave Wannstache, who wore what appeared to be a varsity letter jacket in the first half and a gray Pitt sweatshirt in the second during the Panthers' 13-9 upset in Morgantown. Crutches optional.
The 1300 Hours Award for Military Precision : Army cadets, being recognized for something during a first half timeout, were slow to leave the field in Baltimore, delaying a kickoff to Navy after Army had kicked a field goal. They should have known better than to keep a man in uniform, specifically Navy's Reggie Campbell, waiting. Campbell returned the kickoff for a TD and Army never scored again in Navy's 38-3 win.
Most Disturbing Thought : If Christine Brennan and Colleen Dominguez had a love child--even though that's anatomically and genetically impossible--wouldn't it be Jeannine Edwards?
The Mark Your Callender Award for Most Brutal Semi-Legal Hit To the Virginia Tech DB who tagged B.C.'s Andre Callender after he bobbled a catch as he was falling out of bounds. Callender still caught 13 passes for 92 yards in the B.C. loss.
Push-up Pledge Panacea Tally : 80. You owe me four Jacksons, L.A. (which will then be sent to the Jimmy V. Foundation).
Best Film Distraction During Saturday's Football Blognanza : 1) "Turistas" 2) "Guys and Dolls" 3) Footage of old USCLA games.

Hawaii takes the lead on a five-yard TD pass from Colt Brennan to Ryan Grice-Mullen.

It's 35-28, Hawaii, with 0:41 remaning.

Colt's numbers: 42-50, with five TD passes and nearly five hundred yards pasing. Yep, he's coming to New York City next weekend. Brennan, McFadden and Tebow.

Hawaii scored 28 unanswered points to rescue themselves and their season. Again, I'll go back to Locker's overthrown pass to Russo that would have made it 35-14 back in the second quarter.

But wait! Locker hits two completions and gets it first and goal from the 5-yard line. Sweet! Cue Vanessa Williams' "Save The Best For Last" for our Saturday soundtrack.

Now U-Dub has 2nd-and-goal from the six with 0:12 left...INTERCEPTION!!!

Oh, my Jack Lord! HAWAII 12-0!

28-all now with about eight minutes remaining. Jason Rivers just caught his fourth TD pass of the evening.

How did Hawaii get back into this game? Believe it or not, shovel passes. Down 21-0 after one quarter, the Warriors tempered Washington's pass rush with the shovel pass for huge gains. Once that happened U-Dub had to respect that more and suddenly Brennan had more time to find his trio of sure-handed, swift and strong receivers: Davone Bess, Ryan Grice-Mullen and Jason Rivers. The dread-locked, bleached-blond duo of Bess and Grice-Mullen are flashier and run better after the catch, but it has been Rivers who's made the big catches this evening.

Meanwhile, at one point during tonight's game Brennan completed 20 consecutive passes.

Jake Locker. Strong and fast QB, but he lacks touch on his passes. And color commentator Ed Cunningham, a former Husky player, is correct: Ty Willingham needs to alter his offense to be more of a spread offense to capitalize on Locker's running prowess. U-Dub's O is still too pro-style.

Ed Cunningham is sweating in the press box ("I think Washington should call a timeout here"). Two things about Hawaii: 1) It's amazing how accurate a passer Brennan is and 2) His receivers are outstanding at gaining yards after the catch (Rob Ianello, are you taping this game fro Messrs. Grimes, West, Kamara and Parris?). It's as if the play is just starting once the ball lands in Bess's or Grice-Mullen's hands.

Someone on the U-Dub coaching staff is listening to Cunningham. They called a timeout. Or maybe Cunningham is secretly on the U-Dub staff. Anyway, U-Dub's offense has just stopped showing up after the first quarter ended.

Anyway, we're now entering Hour 16 of this marathon and Liza Minelli has yet to come out and perform. We'll never cure muscular dystrophy at this rate.

Everyone seems to agree that 11-1 Ohio State is the only sure thing about the BCS Championship game.

Why? Why not Kansas? LIke the Buckeyes the Jayhawks are 11-1. And KU played in a tougher conference this season and lost to a higher-ranked team. The team Kansas lost to--at a neutral site--was ranked No. 1 when Saturday day began. The team Ohio State lost to (Illinois) beat the Buckeyes in Columbus and is not ranked in the top ten. So, if you were attempting to explain the BCS to a foreigner, how do you rationalize Ohio State ahead of Kansas?

The best argument you can level is that Ohio State won its conference, while Kansas did not.

Okay, so let's say for the sake of argument that Ohio State is in. Who joins them?

LSU (11-2)? The SEC champs have two losses, albeit both in triple overtime.
USC (10-2)? The Pac-10 champs have two losses, but have looked as good as anyone since Halloween (avg. margin of victory 16.0 points) and there's the Pete Carroll pedigree.
Va. Tech (11-2)? ACC champs are impressive, but how do you let them in ahead of an LSU team that beat them 48-7?
Georgia (10-2)? You cannot put Dawgs in over their own conference champ who had the same regular-season record.
Oklahoma (11-2)? Like USC, the Sooners are as talented as anyone but they have two losses to schools that are not even ranked. You cannot ignore that.
Arizona State (10-2)? Only two losses, and both to top ten teams, but the Sun Devils, like Georgia, failed to win their conference and just don't have the history on their side.
Hawaii (11-1 or 12-0)? If the Warriors finish 12-0, it's a compelling argument, but everyone knows that nobody in this conversation had a softer schedule.
Kansas (11-1)? Only other one-loss school and statistically as strong as anyone. Why not?

Okay, but who will it be? Answer: LSU.

Something else that makes no sense: Why does ESPN have both Jack Arute and Desmond Howard as sideline reporters for U-Dub-Hawaii? Is this their Christmas bonus? And how come Desmondo has gotten more face time than Stacey Dales and Bonnie Bernstein combined?

I missed the very, very end of "Turistas", but I'm thinking Josh Duhamel and Olivia Wilde made it out alive so that they could return to their jobs at the Montecito and the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, respectively.

Start of the final quarter of the regular season in Honoluau. Washington leads by a touchdown after a scoreless third quarter.

After 13 consecutive hours of college football, my interest is beginning to wane...or at least it's at an ebb until maybe late in the 3rd quarter. So I'm now flipping back and forth between U-Dub-Hawaii (Jake "Foot" Locker just overthrew No. 5 on a post for what would have been a sure TD...man, if this kid ever gets polish on his pass, he's the West Coast Tebow) and "Turistas". If you've ever been in a youth hostel in a tropical setting, you can totally picture this happening, right?

This is why I always vacation in 3rd-world countries with Bear Grylls . And by the way, Bear Grills make a wonderful Father's Day present. Just something to keep in mind.

Jason Rivers just caught a TD pass that the ref on the field disallowed (because in the age of instant replay, refs are loathe to make a bold call in favor of a spectacular play). June Jones, or Jupiter Jones, challenged the missed call and it was overruled. Hawaii scores.

So it looks as if it's going to be U-Dub 28, Hawaii 21 at the half. And it seems like a trivial matter, but Locker's overthrow just a few minutes earlier would have made it 35-14. And he had Russo wide open deep. Should be a fun second half. I just hope Josh Duhamel and Olivia Wilde make it out of Brazil alive.

A little Wikipedia research reveals that the University of Hawaii has allowed its individual teams to decide whether they prefer to be the Rainbow Warriors, Warriors or Rainbows. The football team, as you know, call themselves the Warriors. The baseball team is strictly the Rainbows. Me, I'm a fan of "Rainbow Warriors", though the current green helmets are a lot flashier than those Summer of Love white helmets with the rainbow decals. Those helmets alone must have cost Hawaii at least one game a year in the past.

And I don't know what's up with Hawai'i versus Hawaii...maybe someone can clue me in on that.

Meanwhile, Josh Duhamel and the backpackers are trying to explain that when they checked "Yes" on the "Organ donor" question, they meant only after they'd died of natural causes.

HBO on Demand is airing Turistas . Washington having a much easier time visiting the tropics than Josh Duhamel.

Ron Franklin just noted that it's nearly 1 a.m. Eastern and that would be past the bedtime of a lot of Harris poll voters. If you have a vote in the Harris poll and you can't stay up to watch the only undefeated team in the nation play the last non-bowl game of the season, then why are you voting? And why am I not? I'm into Hour 13 here, people. This is Jerry Lewis-Labor Day weekend territory.

Push-ups: 80

Jason Rivers just caught another TD pass...28-14, U-Dub up with 4:11 left in the half.

Good point, Ron Franklin. Why is Hawaii wearing their road unis?

Washington goes up 28-7. Hawaii, this is your moment. Where are you? Are you hiding in the same closet Missouri and West Virginia were? And can we just pause a moment to reflect upon how money Pete Carroll is? When it matters, Pete Carroll's Trojans almost always come through. More than anyone else, at least.

As ESPN's Ron Franklin said at the conclusion of the first quarter a moment ago, "This is quarter that they need to take outside the stadium and bury."

Washington is up 21-0 and Hawaii has already lost three fumbles. At least they have three quarters remaining. That's the good news. Hawaii needs someone like that McGregor character from those ads ("Not in my house!" the old lady says) to infuse it with enthusiasm. It's only the biggest game in school history, and the Warriors are, as Mr. Arute said, "listless."

Oh yes... .

Washington leads the nation's last unbeaten team , Hawaii, 14-0 just 6 1/2 minutes into the game at Aloha Stadium. This after both No. 1 Missouri and No. 2 West Virginia lost earlier this evening. We have officially reached the "And Monkeys Might Come Flying Out of My Butt" stage now. The 2007 college football season will have this legacy: nobody was No. 1.

Someone will win the national title, but no one team is clearly better than everyone else. Not this season. If Hawaii comes back--and they will--and wins tonight, at least they'll be able to say that nobody has beaten them.

Jack Arute just told us that U-Dub was delayed six hours at SeaTac Airport before boarding their flight to Honolulu yesterday. And that's kinda strange for a team to wait until Friday to travel to Hawaii. But the Huskies are going to stay in Hawaii until Monday, which would make it all the more sweeter if they were to win tonight.

It's very early, but somebody better slap Hawaii's face and wake them up. Davone Bess just dropped an easy ball and Colt Brennan just got sacked...and he may be on the Pat White Express this evening. It's way early, but everything about this game points to U-Dub being focused and turning this one into a rout before the Warriors even realize how much they're about to squander.

Until five minutes ago, I would have thought "Clay Davie" was a reference to that character from the Christian-themed "Davey And Goliath" kids shows I grew up watching. You know, with the talking pooch, Goliath.

Turns out Clay Davie is a freshman on the ASU football team and the son of analyst Bob Davie, who lives in Scottsdale. Crazy.

Okay, OU is up 35-17 in the Big 12 Fiasco Bowl in the 4th and ASU is up 10 late in the fourth. I'm taking a break before we delve into the Washington-Hawaii game. Smart move by Coach Willingham, sending two dozen DiGiorno pizzas to the Hawaii locker room before kickoff.

Guaranteed BCS bowl teams (assuming that Hawaii wins and OU holds on)

Ohio State
LSU
Southern Cal
Virginia Tech
West Virginia
Oklahoma
Hawaii

Three at-large (just my guess):

Georgia
Kansas (which is odd, if Mizzou, who beat them, fails to make it)
Arizona State

BCS Championship Game: Ohio State vs. LSU

Rose Bowl: Georgia vs. Southern Cal

Fiesta Bowl: Arizona State vs. Oklahoma

Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Kansas

Sugar Bowl: Hawaii vs. West Virginia

Just my guess

The Golden Panthers of FIU finally got off the schneid. Florida International beat North Texas 38-19 to end the nation's longest losing streak at 23 games. With the win FIU finishes 1-11. And while they may be a joke now, remember that it was only four years ago that Central Florida finished 0-11. Today UCF won the Conference USA championship. As long as your campus is located in the Sunshine State, your program always has a chance.

Just imagine what it must feel like to be a West Virginia fan tonight. All you have to do is beat lowly Pitt to get back to your first national title game since the 1998 season when the 'teers played Notre Dame (which hasn't been back to a national title game since, either). Pitt. That's all you have to do. You're favored by four TDs.

But then your QB gets hurt. And now you're about to go donw 10 to Pitt with seven minutes remaining in the 4th quarter. And it's not just because Pat White is out of the game.

So not it's 4th-and-goal from the 1. C'mon, Wannstache, go for it!! One yard away from glory.

Wannstache plays it safe. Pitt kicks the field goal, but it's only a 6-point game.

Meanwhile, in San Antonio, it's 14-14. Give Mizzou credit. They're playing well and this is their second tough game--against a top eight team--in as many weeks.

Stanford wins. Man. I mean, Cal was a play away from being the No. 1 team in the country back on October 13th. Now they're 6-6, having finished 3-6 in the Pac-10. No one fell faster this season.

West Virginia just got a 47-yard kick return from Noel Devine...and here comes Pat White back into the game. And WVU has a first and ten from the Pitt 34. But WVU may want to bring Jarrett Brown back. White looks to be running as if he's worried about someone banging into his thumb, and you cannot blame him.

I still think Wannstache is a yinzer for not going for it on 4th down. Les Miles would have.

Now WVU has 4th and 3 from the Pitt 27. And just as Mike Patrick says, "The national championship may hinge on this play", Pitt stops Steve Slaton on 4th down. Shoulda kept Jarrett Brown in, methinks.

Now WVU is going to get the ball back, well, I don't know when. Can you really believe that West Virginia has just one TD all night at home versus Pitt? As Wallace Shawn once said to Mandy Patinkin, "Inconceivable!"

I'd call this the Upset of the Season, but it's really just the Upset of the Month...of December. Let's go over our Upsets of the Month:

September: Appalachian State over No. 5 Michigan
October: Stanford over No. 2 USC
November: Arkansas over No. 1 LSU, Navy over Notre Dame (even though Navy was favored)

Mike Patrick is talking a lot about how bad a call the first holding call against Pitt WR Turner was tonight. But I thought it was a good call, now that I've seen it a few times. Turner's hands weren't outside the DB's shoulder pads, but his right hand was clearly holding the DB as he tried to pull away.

But then, on 3rd down just now, Turner got held much more blatantly on a pass route and it was not called. Pitt appears to be getting, at best, homered. At worst the Big East, if you want to believe the worst in people, is doing everything it can to get a representative into the BCS Championship game. If Pitt wins, all the Big East does is lose an opportunity to send WVU to the national title game. Pitt, at 4-7, is not going to a bowl no matter what happens.

It's hard to believe--and I don't--that the Big East would be that pernicious. But these referee calls do open up the refs and the conference to scrutiny, and you can bet that former Pitt All-America Mark May will make note of it on College Football Final later this evening.

3rd down and 10 and Wannstache calls for a blitz. Great call. White got nervous, fumbled the shotgun snap, and was sacked for about a five-yard loss. It's fourth and at least 14 for WVU.

By the way, we've already had a dozen top five teams lose to unranked teams this season. We may be about to have a baker's dozen.

White misfires on 4th down! And Missouri is down by two touchdowns.

Pitt was just flagged for excessive celebration. Ridiculous. Can we hire some refs who understand the difference between spontaneous joy--like when you upset the No. 2 team on their turf when you have a losing record?-- and rubbing an opponent's face in it? As Mike Patrick just said, "That's just stupid." And it is.

So if Mizzou loses... My two teams would be Ohio State-LSUfor the national title, but I'd have little argument if you sub in USC for LSU. Then again, LSU's only losses both came in triple overtime to SEC schools. So something tells me Les Miles has had the most interesting day, from the time he woke up until the time he falls asleep tonight, of anyone in the country. He could have lost today and been headed to Ann Arbor. Instead, he's staying at LSU, he's a lot richer, and and he may just be headed to the national championship game after all...to play Michigan's arch-rival.

Beautiful.

You cannot put Georgia or Kansas in, in my opinion, if they couldn't even advance to their conference championship game. And as my wildcard, yes, I'd love to see an unbeaten Hawaii play in the national championship game.

Wow, this is going to be a monster upset if Pitt wins. Just outrageous.

Pitt wins, 13-9. It is going to be a long, long winter in coal country.

Pitt just went for it on fourth down at about the 19 yard-line. That's the way, Wannstache. Why not? You're 4-7, what do you have to lose? Why take a 6-point lead when you can potentially go up by ten against a team that is reeling without its starter?

I'm a little surprised that Pat White, whose injury is on his non-throwing hand, hasn't returned for West Virginia, though as Todd Blackledge (I think) noted, "West Virginia's only had three offensive plays this quarter."

I'm also a little surprised that Wannstache ditched his varsity jacket at halftime. Now he's wearing a gray sweatshirt that came straight out of the bookstore.

Pitt just scored, but a ref called a hold on the wide receiver nullifying the play. Questionable call at best. And then Pitt's Conor Lee missed the chippy field goal. Huge. Just huge.

But West Virginia is playing as if they have a lot to lose...which they do. But if this were just a Saturday afternoon in October, WVU would be whomping 'em. And where is Steve Slaton and Noel Devine, by the way? Not to mention Owen Schmitt, who must be hanging his head with a keg by now.

Pitt just converted a huge 3rd down pass.

"A fresh set of downs for the Steelers," reports Mike Patrick. Let's let it slide. I certainly make more mistakes than that.

Let's head west...Stanford leads Cal 20-13 with 3:23 remaining in the game and with the ball. Cardinal picks up the first down on 3rd-and-1. Is Stanford really going to beat Cal? Wow. Cal has just crashed ever since the Oregon State fiasco....

I typed too soon. Stanford's tailback fumbled. Chris Stewart, the Cardinal ballcarrier, switched hands while carrying between the hashmarks, which is a no-no. All Stanford really needed to do was to gain one more first down or at least force Cal to use its timeouts.

Now Cal has the ball, and Longshore just hit Jordan for a 25-yard gain. Cal has the ball at the Cardinal 34. Now it's 4th-and-11 for Cal after a few bad passes. Longshore throws incomplete on 4th down, but Stanford was offsides on defense. So now it's 4th-and-6.

Meanwhile one of the Vs. commentators keeps talking about Cal's field goal potential. Um, dude, it's a 7-point deficit with two minutes to play. Why are you talking about a field goal? This has to be the same guy who roared, "TOUCHDOWN USC!" at the end of the Stanford-Trojan upset.

Hawkins of Cal just missed a TD catch. It wasn't easy-easy, but it was pretty catchable. Second down, almost the same play, and Hawkins missed it again. Third down, and Stanford's Nick Sanchez makes the pick. It's not over yet. Stanford has the ball on its own 9 and Cal still has three timeouts.

As Dave Wannstache Tiny Tims toward the locker room, West Virginia takes a shocking 7-3 lead into the halftime. Pitt's Conor Lee nailed a 48-yard field goal after a phantom personal foul just before halftime.

Smart move by Holly Rowe to interview Rich Rodriguez first. She can still cross the field and get Wannstache before he hobbles off-field. Don't you love what R.R. said when Holly asked about Pat White's status? "His thumb popped out, but we popped it back in. When the feeling comes back, he should be good to go." Oh, is that all?

It's 20-10 Stanford midway through the 3rd quarter in Palo Alto. Hey, it's too bad DeSean Jackson left school early or else Cal might have had a better season. What? Hunh?

I don't know much about TV producing, but if my sideline reporter is Stacey Dales-not-Schuman, every time we hear her speak we see her. No exceptions. If you're not going to show her you might as well have Todd Harris doing the sideline work. He probably costs less.

Trouble in Morgnatown, as Pitt is playing the role of South Florida by spoiling West Virginia's final home game of the regular season and tagging them out from a BCS bowl. There' still plenty of time, but Pitt has gone up 10-7 and Pat White's thumb, apparently, hasn't had the feeling return yet.

It's not that backup QB Jarrett Brown is bad, it's just that there's so much less a defense needs to worry about when Pat White is not on the field--and not writing romance novels.

http://www.patwhitebooks.com/

This just in from the L.A. Coliseum: UCLA has just been issued another sideline warning. Who's the ref in this game, Dean Wormer?

Moments ago Rece Davis said, "No. 1 Missouri is in a world of hurt right now." Steady, Rece. Or ease up on the hair goop. Mizzou was down 14-6 at the time. Now it's 14-14 after Chase Daniel scored on a keeper and then the Tigers ran a reverse pass for the two-point conversion. Why do I suspect that Chris Petersen and Gary Pinkel had a "Face/Off" moment at some point in the offseason?

"Face/Off", incidentally. Worst movie I ever saw, and by that I mean that when you consider the talent involved and the hype, how could anyone allow an idea so crappy to become a movie?

Chase Daniel. Should you look that much like Ben Roethlisberger when you're still in college?

Missouri's Jeff Wolfert just kicked a 29-yard field goal to give Mizzou a 3-0 lead. Brent informed us that Wolfert has never "as in never ever" missed a field goal in Big 12 play. With that kick he is now 88 for 88. How did we all not know this before? Okay, maybe you did, but I didn't.

Pat White just dislocated (or so it looks) his right thumb on an option keeper. Ohio State is mighty interested in that. It must be painful because the field mics have caught at least a couple "God Damn!'s" out of someone's mouth. Most likely White's. You will recall that WVU's lone loss this season came when they lost White to injury in the first half.

BIG 12

OU is lining up at midfield as Kirk Herbstreit notes that Mizzou is crowding the line of scrimmage. "They've got ten guys within five yards," Kirk says. A second later Sam Bradford takes the snap, does a play-action fake, and fires a post route deep to Malcolm Kelly for a 47-yard gain. Nice job, Kirk.

On those rare occasions when both the Backyard Brawl and the Big 12 Fiasco Bowl are in a commercial break, I switch over to Ovation to watch Akira Kurosawa's supposed classic, "Seven Samurai". I mean, it looks decent and all, but I've yet to see one fight scene in which anybody flies. So how good can it really be?

Spilly's Spillage Update

Through about seven games and eight hours thus far, I've only spilled a bowl of salsa and a bottle of Heineken. Not bad at all. I also spilled a $20 bill when I was running (out of my glove), but got lucky and found it on the way home. Ran along the Hudson River at dusk. Couldn't have been prettier this evening. Winter time rocks...as long as it's above 30 degrees.

Push-up update: 60.

Why is Dave Wannstache wearing his high school varsity letter jacket? I'm not even going to inquire about the crutches...

Has Brent Musberger started talking about what type of raise Gary Pinkel is going to receive if Mizzou wins tonight? That's usually his favorite topic. I still like Brent, though. It may not be cool to like him, but then it's not cool to decorate your bedroom with posters of Juliet Prowse, either, but that doesn't stop me.

http://leg-lovers-delight.com/Gallery/Gallery6/l_l_d_w6a_0014.jpg

I'm waiting for Kirk Herbstreit (or maybe he already has and I missed it) to say, "About what I said about the Michigan job earlier today? Yeah, well, never mind."

Alexis Serna, the Oregon State kicker whose career began on national TV with five missed field goals in a loss at LSU, just drilled a 41-yarder in the first overtime to keep the Beavers alive.

Too much going on right now. My whelm level is on "over", as The Big Game, The Civil War, the Big 12 Fiasco Bowl, the Territorial Cup (U of A-ASU) and the Backyard Brawl (Pitt-WVU) are all on TV this minute.

Oregon State just ran an end around and the Duck tacklers just took terrible angles, giving chase from the inside out and never laying a hand on 5-6 true freshman wideout James Rodgers. Oregon State goes up 38-31, and now Oregon faces 4th-and-1.

Jonathan Stewart is stuffed! Beavers win! First time Beavers have won in Eugene since 1993.