March 2008 Archives

When Giants fans at the Meadowlands last had a crack at Eli Manning, the doe-eyed one was breaking their hearts in the nicest way possible once again.

That was Dec. 29, the Saturday night New York blew a 12-point third quarter lead and got blitzed by a 22-0 run by New England in a 38-35 loss. The Pats were perfect. The Giants were promising but flawed.

Then New York went on the road for three playoff games, won 'em all, and stunned the Patriots in the Super Bowl 17-14. So -- resume-wise -- it's a very different Eli that will be on display when the NFL opens its season Sept. 4 with the Giants hosting the Redskins.

The game will be on NBC and will kick off at 7 p.m. ET, moving back from the accustomed 8:30 start so that the network can pick up Republican National Convention coverage after the game.

The rivers of tears in Green Bay are starting to subside. Brett Favre's retirement is reality. Now, how does his former team move forward without him?

For so long, it's been Brett Favre and the Packers, who steps into the void and helps this team forge a new identity.

Won't the shadow of Favre still be cast over the rest of the team?

"That's OK if it is," said Packers general manager Ted Thompson here at the owner's meetings. "He meant a lot to us. And I don't think our team is cowed by (having his presence referred to still). Brett's a good teammate and he's well liked in our locker room and well-respected and but they know they have to go forward as a team.

"I know from a national media standpoint, every time we won a game it was like nobody else was on the field," Thompson pointed out.."Brett didn't like that kind of publicity. But our team just kept playing. We've got some guys that can play the game. They're looking forward to the challenge but it IS a new frontier."

As for the pressure on Favre's successor, Aaron Rodgers, Thompson said, "(He's been groomed) the old school way. Watch for a couple of years, learn and then go play. That’s an intellectual plan. But now we have to go play football. And I don’t think the team is looking at it like it’s all on Aaron’s shoulder, everybody has to take a piece of this."

One hangup in the Cowboys trade negotiations with Tennessee for Pacman Jones is that Dallas is asking for a compensation-back guarantee if Jones can't make it through the season.

Whether Dallas will do the deal without that assurance remains to be seen -- it seems likely they would. But at this point, the Cowboys are requesting that.

As he exited a meeting at the Breakers Hotel, Cowboys executive vice president Stephen Jones said that the Titans haven't yet budged on Dallas' latest offer. ESPN reported that offer to be a fourth-round selection this year and a pick to be determined in 2009.

"They are where they are. He's a Titan. I don't know what Tennessee wants to do at the end of the day," said Jones.

Jones still hasn't been reinstated since being suspended indefinitely. How will Jones' checkered past impact Dallas? 

"We had situations where players might have 'baggage' but we think we have a good infrastructure in place, a good locker room and a good environment for people to be successful and get a second chance," said Jones. "It worked with several players we have on our team."

The Cowboys haven't sat down face-to-face with Jones yet but Stephen Jones said that will be an absolute requirement before the deal is done.

My favorite sports item of the past week is the Greg Oden pick-up game fiasco in Portland. If you hadn't heard, the No. 1 pick in last year's NBA draft decided to play a couple of games of pick-up basketball last week in The Rose City. And the Blazers, who have about $30 million committed to Oden over the next five years, were so not pleased. The 7-footer, as you know, has sat out his entire rookie season after having had microfracture knee surgery last summer.

So last week, Oden walks into a 24 Hour Fitness facility with some buds. He's planning on watching them play hoops but then gets persuaded to play a game. And then another. And of course someone posts the news on the internet and it spreads quickly.

All of which is hardly enough to make it my or your favorite story. Not at all. What brings this anecdote to the level of beauty is that Oden did not play one game but two. And why.

"I lost the first (game)," Oden told the media with a grin. "So my competitiveness, you know, I had to play the second one."

The Blazers are concerned because their franchise lynchpin jeopardized, in their minds, his future by participating in a pair of pick-up games. The Blazers should be concerned that the No. 1 overall pick in last June's draft could not lead a team to victory at a 24 Hour Fitness facility. I mean, who was on that other team? Al Horford?

Hilarious. Right now there are five guys strutting around Portland telling everyone they know that they played on a team that beat Greg Oden's team. And they're probably just as fired up about it as anyone on Memphis or UCLA or Kansas or North Carolina is about the Final Four. I hear they're planning on driving up the I-5 and challenging Kevin Durant to a game as soon as the season ends.

Jerry Reese, the Giants general manager, was wrapping up lunch with his wife and daughter on Sunday in the Seafood Bar at The Breakers. As the waiter collected the check, Ravens GM Ozzie Newsome sidled up and, pointing to Reese said, "Do you understand that this man is a WORLD CHAMPION?!"

Reese beamed.

There's a collegial atmosphere at these meetings. Saturday night at that same restaurant I saw Mike Nolan, John Fox and Sean Payton dining together at a back table. That's half of the NFC South's coaching staff. Tuesday morning is the NFL Coaches golf tournament. Last night, there was an NFL Coaches' reception. The atmosphere is laid-back and normally uptight and guarded coaches and executives let what's left of their hair down.

The surroundings have something to do with it. It's a beautiful joint (although the prices are in line with the beauty - $10 dollar smoothie?!). It's warm, which is a foreign sensation for many of the colder climate employees. And most coaches bring their spouses and kids with them,

This morning, Commissioner Roger Goodell is making his annual presentation to the owners. I had my ear against the door but was reprimanded so I'll have to wait for the thing to end. Be back with an update when the gentlemen file out.

There will be some saber-rattling from NFL owners this week here in Palm Beach about what a bad deal the current collective bargaining agreement has been for them.

A CBA discussion is on the agenda for Monday here at the NFL's Annual Meeting at The Breakers. Expect them to come out of that meeting loaded for bear.

The upper hand they held for decades over players has been flipped since the new CBA was passed in March 2006. The most glaring example: the salary cap for each team has risen from $85.5 million in March of 2006 before the new CBA kicked in to $116 million this year. Deals in which payrolls rise $30 million in  two years time aren't the kind these guys are accustomed to making.

In November, there will be a vote by the owners to remain in the deal and 24 of the 32 have to agree. That seems unlikely. Which means panic in 2009 in anticipation of an uncapped year in 2010 and the likelihood of a work-stoppage in 2011.

But the players kind of like the deal. And a look back at the extremely hard-line stance NFLPA president Gene Upshaw took at the Super Bowl portends a vicious battle.

"I just don't want the owners to believe that somehow there is a Santa Claus," Upshaw said at the Super Bowl. "There's not one."

That would be Western Kentucky head coach Darrin Horn, who I'm seated behind now. The difference between sitting behind Horn and sitting behind West Virginia coach Bob Huggins is like night and day. Which is appropriate, since it was day here when Huggins strode the sideline and now it's...night.

I like Darrin Horn. I hope good things happen for him. He's smart and slim, first of all. I like smart and slim. He's also not loud. I like not loud. During the first game Bob Huggins's dad, I believe, who also sits on the WVU bench, got in the faces of a few WVU players and said things you'll only hear on Deadwood. And Deadwood ain't around any more, so I don't know where you'd hear 'em.

You can't argue with Huggins' success, and to each his own when it comes to coaching style. But Horn, who's just 35, I think, carries himself on the bench like someone who knows he's in charge without needing to advertise.

Tyrone Brazelton has been killing WKU...which is bad, since he plays for WKU. Brazelton had two missed lay-ups, a stolen pass and a traveling violation all in about three minutes, helping turn a 15-13 game into a 23-15 game for UCLA. Horn benched him (without berating him, or even derating him or, most appropriately considering that other coach, X-rating him) and put in our friend Orlando Exxon-Valdez.

And then a funny thing happened. Forward James Keefe of UCLA scored on a put-back and the much shorter (6-1, as opposed to 6-8) Valdez undercut him unintentionally. Keefe--who looks a little like Jack Johnson's long-lost bro--fell flat on his back. That's correct. Valdez caused a spill.

The Bruins are quite the laid-back teams through the first four minutes of play. They've missed a couple of bunnies and some free throws as well and seem blithely unconcerned. It's 7-4, Bruins, as we go to the first TV timeout. A few things:

-- New UCLA football coach (and alum) Rick Neuheisel chatting with former UCLA hoops coach Jim Harrick out on the concourse between games.

-- Josh Shipp just hit one of free throws before the first timeout. That's Shipp's first point since the Mississippi Valley State game.

-- Kevin Love has put on his "Feed me, Seymour" mask. The frosh is just WAY TOO BIG and strong for any Hilltopper to climb. They've already fouled him twice and it's been too easy for UCLA to find him in the low post thus far. He hasn't even been fronted yet ("Dude, why you be frontin'?").

Xavier freshman guard Dante Jackson turns 20 on April 7th, the night of the national championship game, and there's still a chance that he will be celebrating it in San Antonio sitting on the Xavier bench. The Musketeers win in overtime, 79-75, as B.J. Raymond hits two big threes--the final on an inbounds play when there were just 2 ticks on the shot clock--to secure the win for the Cincy school.

Most of the credit goes to Josh Duncan, however. Duncan scored a game-high 26 points despite picking up his 4th foul with 12:31 remaining. I'm not sure how many minutes beyond that Duncan played---not sure when or if he took a seat--but he was there for most of the rest of the game. Never fouled out. And scored 10 of his 26 points after that foul. Nicely done.

...I'm going to attempt to gather Kevin Love, Jason Love and Lisa Love and form (altogether now, New Wave fans) a "Bizarre Love Triangle". I may have to place them in a New Order, though.

So, fun times here at the US Airways Arena. WVU set up and executed a perfect turnaround jumper play for Joe Alexander, who banked it in and was fouled (by Jason Love, actually...Love, actually...and I wasn't even trying). Beautiful bank shot. You could hear Bill Raftery exclaiming, "THE KISS!" from across the court.

Alexander missed the free throw with 14.2 ticks left, though. Bummer. And Xavier's 5-7 Drew Lavender missed a last-second shot. So now we're in overtime.

...is Josh Duncan. The Xavier senior now has 25 points (that 61 total over the tourney's first three games) and he's played the past five minutes with four fouls. Duncan just hit a three, then grabbed a critical rebound (there were about three WVU misses under the basket and he wisely avoided drawing his fifth foul before grabbing a board that he could get to) and was fouled. Duncan then hit the two free throws.

That's five unanswered points in the final two minutes by Xavier, all by Duncan. He has about 40% of his team's points this evening. I thought Xavier was balanced. I'm sure they don't mind.

It's Xavier 64-62, with 21.2 to play and WVU has the ball. Just coming out of a timeout.

By the way, if you're keeping count of Love today (Kevin, Jason, etc.), I just noticed Arizona State athletic director Lisa Love seated at the scorer's table. And now, much like Air Supply, I'm all out of Love.

So I just peeked over my right shoulder and noticed Matty Leinart seated in the second row. So two rows back and about eight seats over to my right, Matt Leinart. Two rows back and about eight seats over to my left, Nick Lachey. And they say good things (or bad) happen in threes. You do the math.

Josh Duncan just went dunkin' for X to tie it up at 59-59. Joe Alexander, who's put WVU on his shoulders this half (13 points, after 3 in the first half) hit a jumper to put WVU back up by a basket. WVU has the ball with 2:42 to play.

So I find myself in a weird position. I just noticed this story on our website.

Meanwhile, I'm sitting about a dozen feet in front of Nick Lachey. Does he know? Should I walk the laptop over to him? Does he care? 

Meanwhile, it's 57-57 here with 5:04 to play and West Va.  in possession.

Josh Duncan and Derrick Brown are both playing with four fouls for the Musketeers, and a the sportscasters say, Xavier "can ill afford to lose either of them." I love that. "Ill afford." Where else does anyone use that term in common parlance.

Overheard from a staffer here at the arena just moments ago, as he spoke into his mike: "I need more towels!"

West Virginia's De'Sean Butler just attempted to run down a loose ball in front of his own bench. Nichols was unable to get the ball, but he did go through a row of chairs and smack into the 40-gallon (I'm guessing) bucket of sangria (well, it looked like sangria; maybe it wa just Powerade) that was atop a cart behind the bench. Suddenly, it was Valdez time in the U.S. Airways Arena, as the entire contents spilled right before us.

Now, as anyone who knows me knows, that's my department. Spilling. I was just an eye-witness this time, though.

Give it up for thegame crew, though. They've brought more towels than a JW Marriott holds to cover the spill and even a new cart with two more giant sangria containers. Cool. How come Exxon wasn't this resourceful?

Oh, and moments after that spillage event, West Virginia hit a shot to take its first lead of the game, 52-51. It's now 57-55, Xavier.

Postscript: At the under-8 minute TV timeout, Butler comes over to the new sangria station and gets himself a cup of bug juice. You earned it, De'Sean.

I'm about to ask the dudes who cleaned up this mess how much they'd charge to do my apartment each week. They're fast and they're effective.

With about 14:42 to play in the second half, West Virginia buries its first three of the game. The second half has a much better rhythm, as both sides are executing their offenses. And now we have the close game I thought we'd have (my pregame prediction on the site: 73-72, Xavier). Right now it's 43-40, Xavier, with 14:28 to play.

Josh Duncan has been the stud for Xavier this afternoon so far. 13 points, and 3-4 from beyond the arc. Pretty impressive for the 6-9 Duncan, who hasn't been dunkin' to score those points.

The WKU players seated behind me don't seem all that interested in this game. However, they've brought an impressive contingent of fans with them from Bowling Green, Ky. You'll see. They've go an entire lower section clad solidly in red. None of the other three schools are so well-represented.

By the way, did you see the item--WE INTERRUPT THIS BLOG TO SAY THAT JOE ALEXANDER JUST THREW ONE DOWN FOR THE 'NEERS. "AND JUST WHEN IT HIT ME/SOMEBODY TURNED AROUND AND TOLD ME/'PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY/PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, WHITE/PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC, WHITE BOY/LAY DOWN THE BOOGIE AND PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC TIL YOU DIE"

As I was sayin', did you see the item about Davidson playing in Detroit tomorrow. The school is offering free bus fare, two nights' lodging and a ticket to the game for any student willing to travel the 648 miles to see the Wildcats face Wisconsin.

Two thoughts:

1) "Road Trip!"... ("YEA!")..."To Detroit!"  ("Ohhh.")

2) The trip is free...but tuition at Davidson is still $41,000.

West Virginia came out after halftime and went on a quick 4-0 run. Joe Alexander made a put-back and then Alex Ruoff dunked on a fast break (he should never have been able to get behind the Xavier defense that easily). It's now 32-29, X.

Meanwhile, off to my right, the WKU basketball team is seated and watching the action. The 'toppers are in their red warmups and a few are even signing autographs for kids.

Just think, if the Mountaineers wind up playing the Hilltoppers on Saturday. That would be an All-Ed Viesturs Classic, no? "West Virginia versus Western Kentucky, sponsored by North Face."

I'm looking at Ty Rogers, the Hilltopper who hit the game-winner last Friday versus Dranke. You would never ever know that this youth is the all-time Kentucky prep leader in 3-pointers (407) just by looking at him. Then again, what should that person look like? Shut up, Walters.

Halftime and West Virginia has climbed back into it (they are Mountaineers, after all). WVU trailed by as many as 16 points (28-12), but the Coal Mine Crew outscored Xavier 13-4 over the last seven minutes or so to go into the break down 32-25.

Oh, Huggins will still toss objects in the locker room, but they won't be as large.

WVU did this with star Joe Alexander on the bench for much of the half. Alexander, Alex Ruoff  and Darris Nichols each have two fouls and a combined ten points. If not for reserve Wellington Smith's 8 points, WVU might be in deeper trouble. Wellington Smith: that's first-team All-Gatsby material, college division.

Stats are actually pretty even: same number of fouls (9), same number of missed free throws (2), same number of steals (2), same number of turnovers (7), and same number of offensive rebounds (8) for both teams. The difference, as mentioned earlier, is three-point shooting. Xavier is 6 of 11, while WVU is 0 for 6.

Be back soon. I have to go talk to a Phoenix Suns marketing rep about the team referring to itself as "Planet Orange" this season. A star referrring to itself as a planet? That's ass-tronomical. Or astro-comical. You decide.

The Musketeers, who just cannot miss from beyond the arc, lead 24-10 with 11:10 remaining in the first half. Sean Miller's team is as efficient as they come.

About five miles north of here is Xavier High School, an all-girls Catholic school (I went to the all-boys school across an old football field from Xavier). Anyway, if you want to talk sports dynasties (and who doesn't wanna talk sports dynasties...I mean, I cannot speak as articulately on Ming dynasties), you have to mention Xavier golf. Under the direction of the same coach for three decades, Sister Lynn Winsor, Xavier has won 26 state golf championships in 29 years. Quite impressive.

http://www.golfweek.com/juniors/girls/story/sisterlynn_feature_120607

Star search: First celebrity sighting. Nick Lachey or someone who very closely resembles him is seated in the 2nd row behind the Mountaineer bench clad in a white WVU polo shirt.

With 8:14 remaining in the first half, Xavier (the university, not the high school) leads 28-12.

I'm seated behind the West Virginia bench, just a few yonders down from the Mountaineer mascot. The beard is real, but I doubt the gun is. Meanwhile, I'll be keeping an eye on fan behavior this evening. If I see anything untoward, which is not the same as non-near, I'll be sure to contact Mr. Navarro. And if you don't know who he is, well, he may be the last parent alive (under the age of 45) who does not believe that his child is infallible:

http://deadspin.com/371812/oh-you-are-so-totally-grounded

GAME NOTES

So you wanna talk about the game? Okay. Between them West Virginia and Xavier start five seniors. What's wrong with these guys?

So we have reigning National Invitational Tournament champion West Virginia in our opener today. And, as you may know, last year's two NCAA championship game combatants, Florida and Ohio State, are both in the semi-finals of this year's NIT.

Anyway, when the Mountaineers won the NIT last spring in Madison Square Garden, they donned those championship T-shirts that you see every team every team's players adorn microseconds after the game ends. There was just one problem. The shirts read "WEST VIRGINA NIT CHAMPIONS". Here, check it out:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncaa/news/story?id=2819286

Welcome to the West Region semifinals from the scorching (89 degrees) Valley of the Sun. It's actually quite comfortable outdoors, but it's steamy inside. Soap-opera steamy, judging by the names in the programs.

We've got Love in the afternoon, for example, as Xavier center Jason Love will take the floor for the Musketeers' 4:10 p.m. tip-off. Xavier has Love, but West Virginia will remember to bring flowers. As in 6-7 forward John Flowers. And of course, all that Love and Flowers could very well lead to Huggins.

But we have Love all night, as Kevin Love will represent UCLA in the second game. What's more important, though, Love or Desire? The Hilltoppers of Western Kentucky bring Desire Gabou, a 6-2 guard from the Ivory Coast, to every game they play.

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler (originally Stephen Victor Tallarico) turns 60 today. Growing up in Massachusetts when every reference to Aerosmith was preceded by, "The bad boys of Boston..." all I can say is, whoa. With a mouth like a lamprey  and a scream like a banshee, Tyler's now a part of the Massachusetts landscape. And "Dream On", a song that turns 35 this year, is not just the best rock song ever authored by an American band but the backtrack to the greatest sports video montage that THIS...! reporter has ever seen.

I'll be back with a story on the main pages later today talking about them Oakland Raiders. Should we start to take them seriously given the moves of the offseason or are they still dysfunction's favorite franchise?

Did you hear Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor say last week that he'd trade the entire Dolphins roster for Pats quarterback Tom Brady if he was running the draft?

Yeah, I didn't either until I saw it mentioned on a Patriots message board . Then I got to wondering if any of my buddies in Miami found the quote - uttered on Dan Patrick's radio programme - and BAM! Armando Salguero did and mentioned it on his blog last Thursday.

Taylor's assertion goes on to get dissected in both blogs and the relative wisdom of trading 53 players for one is dicussed. The 'net equivalent of monkeys throwing poo at each other ensues on the Dolphins message board.

Remember, folks, any of these people can and will cancel out your vote for president if they make it to the polls.   

* Patriots defensive end Jarvis Green gets the tear ducts active with a good deed. 

* Nobody does hard-line like Chargers GM A.J. Smith

What, we're supposed to be impressed that Kennesaw Mountain Goodell went hardline on the 49ers for tampering with Bears linebacker Lance Briggs today?

Please. What the Niners did - talk to Briggs' agent about acquiring Briggs while he was still under contract with the Bears - was going on with extreme prejudice just a month ago at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis.  

Tampering is rampant there every year. Why? Because the start of the league year when player contracts expire comes the first week of March and the Combine is in late February.

True story: I was out to dinner in Indy last year and saw two GMs who are friendly pause to say hello. When the conversation ended, one GM said to the other, "Now excuse me while I get back to my tampering," and returned to his table full of high profile agents. Guffaws all around.

Ever wonder how Redskins owner Dan Snyder knew where to send those planes to pick up prospective free agents when the clock struck midnight and they became free? Because they laid the groundwork before the league year ended. They tampered. Every team that signs a player on the first day of free agency had to lay the groundwork for the signing before free agency began.

And if it's not being enforced - as it hasn't been - you do business as business is being done, to borrow a phrase from Bill Belichick (one that ultimately bit him in the posterior, I might add.

Man, oh, man, that's a lot of M's in that headline. I think that's called onomatopoeia.

Anyway, Randy Moss got all choked up Friday when the U.S. Postal Service made him the third West Virginia athlete to be honored with his own envelope.

Jerry West and Mary Lou Retton were the other two. Those three would make an interesting dinner party, wouldn't they?

At the event, the kid-friendly Moss said, "I'm not going to (stop) continuing what I set out to do, and that is to better (things) for people here. Not for my good, but for their good to see that there is happiness, that there are better things out there."

Can he be a dink? Yeah. Has he been at the center of too many sophomoric and petulant acts in his lifetime? Probably (although we'd all probably look that way if our own episodes of petulance and stupidity were newsworthy). But things like this honor - and Moss' humble reaction to it - indicate there's greater depth to him than all the people who want to put him in a neat little box will ever admit.

******

While you're at it, you can read how Appalachian natives are embracing their inner hilbilly.

So here I am at the "Seattle Tap Room" at the Sea-Tac Airport, watching the Duke-West Virginia game with the aid of closed-captioning...or, had I said that out loud and a closed-caption translator had heard it, "clothes cap shunning."

Honestly, how many closed-caption translators are using English as a third language?

Meanwhile, the Duke-West Virginia game is only at halftime and we've already seen a feature on Kyle McAlarney plus an interview with Mike Brey and Luke Harangodly. When did NBC acquire the rights to March Madness (seriously, people, when you write in next fall to whine about how NBC is so pro-Irish, remember this day...ND is only a 5-seed...me, I want to see a feature where Steven Hill of Arkansas takes us back to his hometown of Branson, Missouri...why can't this happen?).

So, Duke leads by five at the half. West Virginia has yet to make a 3-pointer. If I'm Huggy Bear, I'm happy to only be down by 5. If you had to think of one character that Duke's Greg Paulus most closely resembles, in terms of on-court tenacity (or even elevenacity or fourteenacity...he's just that tenacious!), who would it be? You know who I think of: that creature from the fireswamp in "The Princess Bride".

Funniest line I've seen/heard/read all day...from a Deadspin commenter, regarding the Joe Paterno course that will be offered at Penn State: "Will this count toward my paleontology minor?"

This is a programming note. The blog will be down much of today (Ronnie and I are going to the Motorhead concert! Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!!!!). Anyway, it's a travel day for the blog, but I highly recommend the cheesy eggs at the Courtyard Marriott in Redmond.

We'll be back tonight to discuss the day's games, Adam Corolla's suddenly leading-man status, "A Walk To Remember" (which is not an homage to ex-Sun center Neil Walk), whether everyone really is talking about Britney Spears' appearance on "How I Melt Your Mother" (I don't think they are), we'll conjugate the Latin verb/USD center Gyno Pomare (making us, in effect, Gyno-cologists), and I'm sure we'll have some thoughts on the Duke-West Virginia game.

Feel free to keep the blog alive via comments while I'm up in the air.

J-Dub

If you've been watching CBS non-stop for the past 30 hours like some people, you may have been won over by that Nike ad. I know I have. Here's what I've found out. The song is called "List of Demands" and it's by Saul Williams. The song was released in 2004. Shows you what I know. I was still listening to Von Bondies back then and laughing at people who wore Crocs...I'm still laughing at people who wear Crocs, but there was a period of a year or so there where apparently it was very cool to wear them.

Mississippi State underwent a brain transplant at halftime and all of a sudden the Bulldogs look boss. They were down by 11 early in the second half, and had missed their first dozen treys of the game, but now they have a 3-point lead against Oregon.

By the way, how do you not love Charles Rhodes and Jarvis Varnado? These two are Strohmile Swift on a minimum wage budget. You'll be seeing them in the 'BA one of these days.

Wondering if Ben Hansbrough's team nickname in Starkville is "The White Shadow"...

I'm feeling bad for Ron about missing that Motorhead concert. You have to love a heavy metal band that feels inclined to include the non-essential umlaut in its name.

Charles Rhodes: my new favorite player. Mississippi State needs to win this game just because they're ten times more interesting than Oregon.

It is 132 miles from Tampa to Gainesville, Florida. So it occurs to me that the Korver klan of Pella, Iowa, is probably pulling a doubleheader between the two cities today. Earlier, Klayton Korver and Drake lost a heartbreaker to Western Kentucky in the first game of the afternoon session in Tampa. Tonight at 9:30 Kaleb Korver and Creighton (a school that refuses to change its name to Kreighton) visit Florida in the NIT. That works out nicely, doesn't it?

By the way, their father, Kevin, is one of the outstanding clergymen in the Midwest, you know.

Meanwhile, big brother Kyle is stuck out in Utah, as the Jazz host Seattle tomorrow night.

Mississippi State is 0-10 from beyond the arc early in the second half versus Oregon. But their dunks look sweet. Really sweet. I think the Dawgs believe that you get style points for dunks in the tourney.

Below we discussed the Dueling Hansroughs dilemma.

Meanwhile, I neglected to mention that the Calathes brothers, Pat (St. Joe's) and Nick (Florida) are also both playing this evening. Pat's Hawks are trailing Oklahoma by 12 at halftime--and occasionally CBS cuts in to their game, depending on where you live. Nick and the Gators take on Creighton in the NIT at 9:30 and can be seen on the ESPNU.

Have you seen that snowball-tossing ad from Liberty Mutual? The three little kids throw the snowballs at the car and it skids a little, then continues on. You know which one I mean, right? What planet is that on? I mean, in the neighborhood where I grew up, the dad slams on the brakes and chases you while screaming profanities at the top of his lungs. And even if you get to your front door, he follows you inside...and your parents let him.

That actually happened to my next-door neighbors, the Fitzies, once. The circumstances were different, but they did something punky (it was a weekday, after all) and the victim chased them to their door. They ran in, he followed, and their mom just turned her head, took a drag from her cigarette, and pointed toward the room in which they were hiding.

That's the commercial I want to see.

Did the tournament selection committee do this on purpose? North Carolina and Naismith favorite Tyler Hansbrough are playing at the same time as Mississippi State and Ben Hansbrough, his younger bro. CBS is switching back and forth between the games in my area, giving us wall-to-wall Hansbrough coverage. Pscyho T and Psycho B.

Have you seen Mississippi State play yet this season? I haven't, but they are fun. Forward Charles Rhodes has 10 points and I think all of his baskets have come on point-blank dunks. He throws 'em down like it's 1977 and someone is playing "Boogie Nights" (the song, not the film) in the background.

Also, Oklahoma center Longar Longar, the player so nice they named him twice, has a team-high 8 points and 4 boards as the Sooners lead St. Joe's by 12 at the half.

The announcement that Lofa Tatupu signed an extension through 2015 is the news (yawn from those expecting a Shaun Alexander announcement).

ESPN reports that there are more than $16 million in guarantees for Tatupu and that the deal is worth more than $40 million.

And that's more than enough on Lofa Tatupu.

The Seahawks have a 3:30 press conference teed up with head coach Mike Holmgren and GM Tim Ruskell.

The smahhhht money is on this being the officially lopping of running back Shaun Alexander from the club. The team did just announce an extension for linebacker Lofa Tatupu that will take him through 2015 when we'll all be flying around in Jetson cars.

We've got our first BUZZER BEATER of the tourney. Ty Rogers buried a 28-footer at the buzzer for WKU to beat Drake (and spoil a lot of people's brackets) in overtime. It was a wonderfully-designed play, as Tyrone Brazelton, who already had 31 points dribbled up court, going from left to right, with Drake defenders chasing him. I expected, you expected, and Drake expected Brazelton to shoot.

But he would have had to shoot on the fly, a la Justin Hare's attempt last night for Belmont. Instead, Brazelton laid it off to teammate Ty Rogers, who was standing off to the right. Rogers was able to set his feet and launch a textbook jumper. There was never any doubt it was going to fall.

Western Kentucky 101, Drake 99. Tough loss for Adam Emmenecker and "Drakin' Care of Business", but the second exciting game for us viewers. And kudos to CBS for doing right by us fans both with the Davidson-Gonzaga finish and WKU-Drake. The moments that no fan should have missed so far--Stephen Curry's late go-ahead three, and Rogers' game-winner-- we didn't, thanks to The Eye. Well played, Mr. McManus.

Klayton Korver just fouled late in the first overtime of the Drake-Western Kentucky game. Korver played well, finishing with 21 points. As he was leaving the court, Tim Brando mentioned that Korver's parents were here and that his dad is "one of the outstanding clergymen in the Midwest." When did they start ranking clergymen?

And if he's a Korver, does that make him a klergyman?

By the way, continuing our theme of second (or third) generation athletic studs, Korver's parents were both college hoops players at Central College in Pella, Iowa.

Drake up one after a pair of free throw with 5.7 ticks left in OT. Time for W. Ky's Courtney Lee, who has been somewhat underwhelming all day, to at last show up.

Are you watching Western Kentucky-Drake? It was 86-78, Hilltoppers, just a few minutes ago but now it's a one-point game. And I believe I just heard Mike Gminski, the CBS color man (and former Duke center) say, "Gotta love the Drake!" (yes, a Seinfeld reference in March Madness).

Jonathan Cox of Drake has 17 points in the last ten minutes, as Drake now has tied it 88-88. Drake All-Everything Adam Emmenecker is 0-7 from the field, but he still has a double-double thanks to 12 assists and shooting 1-12 from the line.

Cox hit a loooooooooong range trey with 24.6 secs to go to finally tie the score. Drake, like Davidson, trailed almost the entire second half.

And now we're going to overtime.

How far superior is Friday afternoon to Thursday afternoon? And we're only halfway through the opening session

This Davidson-Gonzaga game has everything you'd want from an NCAA tourney game, be it first round or Final Four. Stephen Curry going off for 32 points, two well-coached teams making smart passes, guys playing their guts out, screening the screener, a second-half comeback, sublime outside shooting, a center who loves ingesting 'shrooms... someone should cue the inspirational montage music from Milan's state final win in "Hoosiers".

Right now Davidson, which trailed by as many as 11 in the 2nd half, is tied up with Gonzaga 70-70 with 6:07 to play. WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?!? Go watch the game!

Evolution is a curious thing to observe. I wonder how many generations it'll take until more than 50% of the starters in D-I hoops and football are the offspring of former D-I or professional athletes. It's like Gattaca meets SportsCenter.

Take this afternoon's games, for example. Davidson star Stephen Curry is the son of former NBA stalwart Dell Curry. His teammate, Jason Richards, is the son of former Pitt point guard Tom Richards. The dad led the Panthers in assists in '74 (mom Mary Beth was also a standout), while Jason leads the nation in assists right now. On the other side, Gonzaga forward Austin Daye is the son of former UCLA guard Darrin Daye, who helped the Bruins to the Final Four in 1980. (He is no relation to Otis Day, however, nor any of the Knights).

And in another game taking place concurrently, American's 5-11 guard Garrison Carr is giving the Vols all kinds of headaches with 13 points. Carr's dad, Gary, played cornerback for the University of Washington.

All of which is to say that I predict the offspring of Shelden Williams and Candace Parker will win at least two Naismith awards (male or female) about two decades from now.

Josh Heytvelt just made a terrific play, but his on-court skills have been well-documented, so there's no need for me to describe it here.

Gonzaga. I like. The Zags are playing with a chip on their shoulder. They resent Davidson for trying to assume their role in the March Madness ecosystem. Reminds me of Scott Evil's reaction to Mini-Me. Or maybe that was my reaction to Mini-Me. Not a Mini-Me fan.

Billy Packer just said that "Josh Heytvelt's off-court problems have been well-documented, so we don't need to go in to them here." Really? They've been well-documented? For the casual fan? Really? Really, Billy? (pardon me as I phone Seth and Amy and ask if I can steal their bit).

Billy, if you only want to give us the shine on the story, and not the grit, that's fine. But just say that. Don't be a wuss. Anyway, in case you're wondering, Heytvelt sounds as if he's a serious fan of Phish:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2772547

Another benefit of being Shanghai'd here in the Puget Sound (as opposed to Puget Sounding off in Shanghai) region: CBS has already switched to the Davidson-Gonzaga game. This is the best first round match-up of the tournament as far as I'm concerned. Certainly it's the "Coaches Who Preach Fundamentals" favorite.

This works out quite well for the CBS. They want to send their No. 1 team, Jim Nantz and Billy Packer, to Raleigh to handle the North Carolina game. So then they get this game on top of it. I guess a Gonzaga fan might wonder how come their team, the higher seed in this contest, was made to travel as opposed to Davidson. And they'd have a good point. But, you know, Billy Packer wields quite the influence.

Today's Very Important Broadcaster Question: If CBS can persuade, convince, even inveigle ESPN to lend them Jay Bilas for the early round games, did they also ask for Erin Andrews? (actually, that was not my question; Bruce Pearl asked me to ask that)

Believe me, I'm there.

Welcome back for Day 2 of March Madness.

I'm enjoying Cheesy Eggs from the Courtyard Marriott breakfast bar. Mmmmmmmmm, cheesy eggs.

Tennessee is facing American. Down 4-2 early. Smart coaches, and I imagine Bruce Pearl belongs in that class, probably give their teams mini-goals in games such as this. 15-2 games, that is. Sometimes it seems that overdogs get frustrated when they don't put the game away before the second TV timeout. And then their own negativity becomes self-defeating...and self-perpetuating.

However, if you advise your team to just try winning the five- or eight-minute intervals, each interval, then you can appeal to their competitive nature as well as take their minds off the upset possibility. That's what I'd do.

By the way, my editor just checked in for American University. Vern Lundquist just announced that Brian Gilmore just checked in for American. So, hey boss, nice job.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/player/profile?playerId=27808

Denver Broncos Emperor Mike Shanahan is building a 35,000 square foot "home" in Denver's Cherry Hills Village.

The joint will include a "bowling alley and lounge, a poker room, a video-golf room a racquetball court and a shuffleboard table," the Denver Post reports. And that's the basement. Never mind the two bridges the place will also have.

I'm not sure what this kind of excess is symptomatic of but it probably isn't good. And it's especially galling in light of the fact the Broncos are lopping jobs and crying poor-mouth.

Is Shanahan entitled to build whatever kind of house he wishes? Yup. And the rest of the world is entitled to lampoon and deride his self-important monument to his own excellence.

Believe me, I'm there.

The ghosts of Jerry West and Hot Rod Hundley seem to be possessing the latter-day Mountaineers. Even if they're still both alive.

The Arizona-WVU game is fun to watch, if you appreciate deft outside shooting. Which is basketballese for "If, like me, you've never come within 14 inches of dunking". Anyway, the Mountaineers are setting picks for one another, moving the ball around, and hitting spot-up jumpers. I believe I even saw a bank shot that was intended.

Nichols, Ruoff, Alexander. They obviously were watching and taking notes when Pittsnoggle was here. By the way, Pittsnoggle Update Central:

http://www.nba.com/dleague/playerfile/index.jsp?player=kevin_pittsnogle

Earlier today we shared with you the 2007 Killer Annual Tournament from Max Kellerman's radio show:

http://simononsports.blogspot.com/2007/03/max-kellermans-killer-animal-tourny.html 

And yet one animal that didn't make the field was the spotted eagle ray. Well, that creature certainly did not take the snub lightly:

http://simononsports.blogspot.com/2007/03/max-kellermans-killer-animal-tourny.html

Meanwhile, our friend Moose points out that there actually is a MasterBurger and why am I not surprised that it is located in Canada?

http://www.travelingcanada.com/business/masterburgerfastfoodrestaurantcookstown

Be sure to check out their halibut dinners.

At halftime, Notre Dame is comfortably ahead of George Mason and UCLA is feet-up-on-the-ottoman ahead of Mississippi Valley State. Arizona and West Virginia is worth staying up for, as we expected.

Good Bald: http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2006/writers/seth_davis/10/25/ucla.postcard/t1_collison_si.jpg

Bad Bald: http://www.msnsportsnet.com/content/JamieSmalligan32807.jpg

ESPN's scoreboard page lists just four starters for Arizona under its boxscore, which may explain why the Wildcats are trailing early. But at least ESPN knows that it's BurgerMaster.

Here's the funny thing. There are a hundred (many more, in fact) fantastic songs with the word "Love" in their title, and Kevin Love is the nephew of Mike Love of the Beach Boys. But I cannot think of any Beach Boys tunes that have Love in their titles. Songs the UCLA pep band should be playing. Maybe they already do:

"Let Love Rule"...by Lenny Kravitz

"Big Love"...by Lindsey Buckingham

"Love Will Keep Us Together"...by the Captain & Tenille

"My Love (Does It Good)"...by Wings

"Love Is In The Air"...by John Paul Young (though he rarely gets more than four inches off the ground)

"Love Is A Battlefield"...by Pat Benatar

"Love Today"...by Mika

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4tcn49zHLt0

"Love Train"...by The O'Jays

"Love Hurts"...by Nazareth

and, should he go pro right after the tourney....

"Where Did Our Love Go?"...by The Supremes

Johntourager Mekong is better at locating YouTube videos than I and sends in this Sasquatch video. Earlier today I described it, but a video is worth a million words:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=GFDj_9hquRI 

Nice touch by CBS, going inside George Mason's locker room for Jim Larranaga's pre-game pep talk. But I don't understand why George Mason gets to be Milan High in this contest. GMU's last Final Four? 2006. Notre Dame's last Final Four? 1978.

By the way, let me anticipate G.A.'s comment that this matchup will pit a Tory (Jackson, of Notre Dame) versus Patriots.

Speaking of which, did you catch the first episode of John Adams on the HBO? Let's see, bald, self-loathing character seen by many as an uncouth misanthrope who really is a good egg? Where have I seen that character before on HBO? To put it in that character's parlance, this first installment was "pret-tee, pret-tee, pret-tee good."

Oh, and for the record, I'm not getting up early tomorrow to watch the Jonas Brothers on the CBS Morning Show.

Here's my new "stat o' the moment" I'm hoping will take America by storm...

I'm calling it Buckets and Boards. You simply add a player's total of points and rebounds. If that player has a higher total of buckets and boards (or "B&Bs", as the kids will be calling it) than minutes, he's had a productive game. For point guards, I guess we can sub in assists for boards and call it "ABs" ("Assists and Buckets").

Are you with me?

(J-Dub's Blog, now sponsored by MasterBurger)

CBS got it together and switched us over to Duke and the Belmonts for the final 63 seconds. Just enough time to see Belmont with a one-point lead and the ball with less than 45 seconds to play. But give Duke credit for hanging tough and its players for knowing that the refs were going to take the little wooden balls out of the whistles for the final 30 seconds.

There were two plays in that last half-minute that, had it been the first half, would have been a charge or blocking foul. The refs would have called it. But not tonight. Credit Duke's Gerald Henderson for wanting to be the man. And for delivering.

Belmont's Justin Hare took the final shot, a 40-footer on the run from the left sideline, but it was a little short and to the left of the rim. But he's already been accepted into medical school and will likely be a contestant on The Bachelor in about a dozen years, so he has that going for him, which is nice.

Great effort by Belmont. If Duke had lost in the opening round for a second consecutive year, well, wow...If you're going to be the perennial Overdog, you have to act like it. Again, props to Henderson for playing that way at the end. Meanwhile, DeMarcus Nelson, two points, and you missed the front end of a one-and-one with two seconds left, giving Belmont one last shot at victory.

Meanwhile, in Omaha, K-State uses the home crowd and a standard Michael Beasley performance (23 points, 11 boards) to pull off the first upset of the tourney. Mild upset, but an upset considering that Southern Cal advanced to the Sweet 16 last year and had the most hyped freshman of the year (before the season began) in O.J. Mayo. Will Mayo, who led USC in scoring with 20 points, go pro? Um, yes.

Okay, CBS waited until Washington State was up by 30 points with 2:10 left before switching over to the Duke and the Belmonts game, which is a possible 15-2 upset against one of the most high profile programs in the country.

I mean, I'm in Seattle here, not Pullman. Even folks in Pullman probably wouldn't mind them switching over. I understand that being CBS on the first two days of the tourney is a lot like being part of the Tournament Selection Committee: you're never going to please everybody.

However, you can overthink things. CBS, if you switch from a 30-point game (in the final two minutes) to give people the potentially most-talked about game of the first round, an upset that people will not forget for a decade or two, and someone phones in to complain about it, well, that's their problem. Common sense should be all you need in this situation.

ARRGGHHH!!!! They just switched us back to Wazzu-Winthrop. Even Aron Baynes is seated on the sidelines watching Duke-Belmont on a portable TV (See, he's in Colorado, they probably have it on there).

So, at the NBCSports.com World Headquarters and Fondue Parlor in Stamford, Conn., we've institued a little friendly contest of strength known as Push-up Tuesdays. It is what you think it is. On Tuesdays willing combatants see how many push-ups they can do without stopping.

The experience has been humbling. Scary. Absolutely pec-rifying. In short, their better is better than my better. So I'm taking it upon myself to do push-ups today in between blog entries. Right now I'm at 85 for the day. Hoping to get to 150.

Meanwhile, our good friend L.A., a longtime Johntourager, sends this link about Robbie Cowgill and wonders how come they just didn't write, "Anything he wants."

Robbie Cowgill

I wonder if he ever gets depressed. Even Cowgills get the blues.

You know what's depressing me? Wazzu is up 14 and CBS still won't switch to the Belmont-Duke game, which is tied. If I promise to watch Big Bang Theory, will you switch?

 CBS just switched over to Duke and the Belmonts. Thank you. Apparently, Duke is getting all it can handle from a quicker team that doesn't play as if it's using its posterior as a diamond mine. Wait, is this a repeat?

"Hello, MasterBurger, I'd like a Masterburger combo, a malted and what's the deal with that grilled crab and swiss on a sourdough roll?"

All hail, Masterburger!

http://www.burgermaster.biz/

I bet if you visit on a Friday or Saturday night at least half the car windows there are fogged up. I don't have a car so I just ran up with a pair of flashlights (see, you order by flashing your headlights).

First half score of Wazzu-Winthrop: 29-29

Second half score, thus far: 29-5, in favor of Wazzu.

What happened?

I'm going to go out on a banyan limb here and declare Washington State point guard Derrick Low the best Polynesian player in this tourney. A former three-time Hawaii Player of the Year, the pony-tailed Low is having a terrific game thus far against Winthrop. Wazzu has opened up a seven-point lead early in the second half.

Meanwhile, I'm also scouring all 64 teams' rosters to see if anyone has a Dan Moreno (or Marino) to complement BYU's Chris Collinsworth.

Sitting here in my hotel room in Redmond, Wash., wishing that CBS would occasionally switch over to the Mayo-Beasley matchup...also wondering if MasterBurger delivers. Or even if BurgerMaster delivers. I'll settle for either.

We all love Cris Collinsworth, right? I mean, he's intelligent, he's candid, occasionally glib, never reminds us how great he was as a player (but he was, for you kids who weren't around in the '80s), and just plain likeable. But man, he's on the Football Night In America and he was on the Inside the NFL and the NFL Network and I'm pretty sure he's guest-starring on Big Bang Theory next Monday.

But now I see that he's playing forward for Brigham Young! Really. Don't believe me?

BYUCougers.com

 or

Collinsworth look-a-like

but not this

 By the way, I just heard my first "Oh, my!" of the tourney from Dick Enberg. All I can type is, "Oh, my."

Kids, do you realize what a broadcasting legend Dick Enberg is?!? I mean, this dude was broadcasting Final Fours on television before John Wooden had ever won a national championship at UCLA. Seriously. His first NCAA final was in 1961. Enberg called the UCLA-Houston game in 1968 (breaking UCLA's 47-game win streak). He called the UCLA-Notre Dame game in 1974 (ending UCLA's 88-game win streak). And he's less than two hours away from calling UCLA's matchup with Mississippi Valley State tonight...which will likely be less memorable but more palatable for Bruin fans.

By the way, if you're scoring at home, Jay Bilas' daytime partner in Anaheim, Carter Blackburn, has been subbed out in favor of Dick Enberg. 
 

So apparently Dave Bliss is not playing for Washington State, but instead some Yobbo from Queensland named Aron Baynes. Well, okay then.

Speaking on March Madness terms, I'd have to put these Coke Zero ads at a 16 seed, if not an NIT team. The Nike ads--especially the one with the rocker the title of which I don't know because I'm old for chrissakes, the first concert I saw in person was the Osmond Brothers gimme a break my mom made my brother and I go because she couldn't find a baby sitter and my sister was dying to go so leave me alone!--are a No. 1 seed and the AT&T ads ("because he's a dillweed") are a solid sleeper pick.

Did my buddy Seth Davis steal his suit from the Vladivastok Men's Wearhouse? I believe he did.

Baynes has ten points in the first half. He averages five per game.

Wazzu-Winthrop. This is the first game I've watched today where both teams look as if they're having fun. OH MAN!!  Wazzu's Robbie Cowgill just scored on a mad alley oop. And yes, he looks like the kind of dude who has to drive the pickup over cattle guards to get to his parents' front door. I mean, big white dudes with beards! They're the new black in this tourney. Bill Wennington, you were decades ahead of your time.

Duke only leads Belmont by seven at the half. Is there a place where I can wager on who's screaming louder right now, Mike Krzyzewski at his players or Mickey Krzyzewski at the referees? My money's on Mickey.

Trend I'm noticing today: Players named "Taj". Good players named Taj.

Stanford forward Taj Finger is a Havlicekian sixth man who had 10 points and 8 rebounds in just 18 minutes of play during Stanford's rout of Cornell.

Then there's Taj Gibson, Southern Cal's power forward who is pacing the Trojans early in both buckets and boards.

Finally, we've got Taj McCullough (the proper way to spell McCullough, I might add) of Winthrop, who has a game-high 6 points early in the Wazzu matchup. This is an entertaining game, by the way. Dave Bliss looks a little winded. I mean, this is his second two-games in one day deal in the past week.

Here then, is my All-Taj Team:

No. 1

No. 2

No. 3

No. 4

Michael Beasley is being double-teamed by USC, and I'll tell you why. He's pretty good. And on K-State's last possession The Beez was being double-teamed, so an alley oop was tossed to teammate Bill Walker...who missed.

Bill Walker, as you probably know, was O.J. Mayo's high school teammate. So don't feel bad if you didn't start for that team.

Uh-oh. There's 15:45 remaining in the first half and Michael Beasley was just whistled for his second foul (shades of that Duke-U Conn semifinal back in 2004, when the refs took Emeka Okafor out of the game early). Anyway, either this was an extremely internecine version of the NBA's "Stay In School" program, aimed at The Beez, or else some referee just has no love for CBS' ratings.

I mean, if Beez has to spend the last 15:45 of the first half on the bench, think how many less people are going to watch CSI:Miami on Monday night. The second foul on Beez was an offensive foul, called as he was jockeying for a rebound under the basket. Les Moonves is so upset he's going to bring back Viva Laughlin and air it instead of the Sweet 16 games next week.

So now we're watching Washington State-Winthrop in my corner of the country. And I'm wondering how Georgia center Dave Bliss was able to shower, fly to Denver, and put on a Washington State uniform so quickly. Because if I'm not mistaken he's playing low post for the Cougars.

They just aired the "My better is better than your better" Nike ad back-to-back with the AT&T greetings ("Buddy", "Buddy", "Dude") ad. Somewhere during that minute I suffered whiplash.

Seriously, if you didn't think we were A.D.D. Nation before, those two commercials confirm it. In the future no single image will be shown onscreen for longer than 0.7 seconds, unless, of course, it's an image of Kim Raver and that hunky dude having affair sex in a "Lipstick Jungle" promo. Honestly, have you seen these? The last time I saw that much skin on my television I was billed $12.95 (but the movie title did not show up on my hotel bill).

Meanwhile, Marquette is beginning to pull away from Kentucky while thousands of greeters and blackjack dealers in Las Vegas are howling with laughter as their UNLV, a 2-point underdog, goes up by 25 on Kent State. Remember to tip your oddsmakers, guys.

(Update: But of course. They don't take action on UNLV games in Las Vegas, so there's less interest in setting a spread. And thus the blackjack dealers, etc., wouldn't be able to place bets on those games. Thanks, Barry.)

In case you're checking scores on your Mobile, no, a belligerent NBA referee is not Kentucky's leading scorer in the Wildcats' game with Marquette. Yes, it's Joe Crawford, but it't not that Joe Crawford.

Crawford is outscoring his own team, 19-17, as Ky. trails by one in the second half.

Meanwhile, UNLV, a 2-point underdog, is up by 21 points at halftime. Let's see, the Vegas oddsmakers are spot-on with almost every game (Kansas, a 23-point favorite, for example, won by 24; Georgia, a 9-point 'dog, lost by 12), but with the team that lives just down the block, they're that far off??? Something smells fishy.

(Update: But of course. They don't take action on UNLV games in Las Vegas, so there's less interest in setting a spread. And thus the blackjack dealers, etc., wouldn't be able to place bets on those games. Thanks, Barry.)

Marquette is on a 10-2 run, and if the Golden Eagles should win today they'll have tied the number of wins that favorite son Dwyane Wade and his Miami Heat have in the entire month of March.

Gone Fishin' before noon even arrived here in the Pacific Northwest: Temple, Georgia and Portland State.

Moving on to Round 2: Michigan State, Xavier and Kansas.

Meanwhile, there's a free throw contest going on at the Honda Center between Kentucky and Marquette. It's 30-29, Golden Eagles, just before halftime. Jay Bilas is color-commentating, which leads one to wonder: If ESPN will play Red Rover with CBS regarding Bilas, how come Dickie V. isn't calling games for CBS? Is that a matter of CBS not requesting Vitale or ESPN not allowing him to go?

Marquette 33, Kentucky 29 at the half. And UNLV is giving NOLV to my Golden Flashes of Kent State. Man, I am so going down in my tourney pool.

I'm looking at the tourney bracket and wondering how come No. 1 seed Kansas has already played today, and no other No. 1 seed will play again until Friday evening. (Hi, I'm J-Dubs' phone. J-Dub is about to go off on a rant that is factually inaccurate because, well, he's an idiot-dillweed. Please be patient with him. He just ate a Whopper from King Burger and it's obviously affecting his judgment). Would it be too much to ask to put two No. 1 seeds on one day, and two other No. 1 seeds the second day? And have at least one of them play in prime-time on Thursday evening? Someone get me Sean McManus on the horn.

At the half, it's UNLV 31, Kent State 10. The "Gone-In-A-Flashes" just tied a tournament record for fewest points scored in a half.

Meanwhile, Pittsburgh just went on an 18-0 run to go up 28-13 on Oral Roberts Fixation. The Panthers look so together out there, and yes, Bob Knight (and our own Tiffany Simons) has them advancing to the Final Four. I have them going as far as the Exteme Eight (trying to trademark my own terms).

Honk if you've ever heard the name "Carter Blackburn" before. I'm not sure Jay Bilas ever had before today, either.

According to Wikipedia, approximately 24 million people live in southern California. And according to my TV set, about 19 of them are currently watching Kentucky-Marquette in person in Anaheim. What gives, Orange County?

There are probably more college hoop fans inside Barney's Beanery in Hollywood this minute than there are at the Honda Center. Then again, Barney's has hotter waitresses.

If UCLA and BYU win tomorrow, it'll set up a hoops rematch of the 2007 Las Vegas Bowl, which I'm sure will be a major point of emphasis throughout the contest: "Russell Westbrook is draining long-range threes as if he thinks he's Kai Forbath!"

Sondiata Gaines just found my bearded brutha, Dave Bliss, on a sweet dish for a dunk. I think it's the first play Bliss has been involved in the entire half in which he wasn't whistled for a foul. Bliss is so big and burly that the refs just blow the whistle on him out of, for lack of a better word, prejudice. He made a sweet block earlier in the half, pinning a layup attempt against the backboard, that he got called for. Amare Stoudemire does that twice a game for the Phoenix Suns and never gets whistled for it.

Speaking of the Suns, I went to see them play against the Sonics last night. The best dunk of the evening took place during a second quarter timeout. The Sonic mascot Sasquatch, who actually less resembles the "real" Bigfoot than he does actor Peter Horton, had a death-defying dunk. He clambered up a ladder so that when he stood atop it the soles of his feet were higher than the top of the backboard. Picture that for a minute.

Then Sasquatch did a backflip, dunking the ball as he was falling, then landed on the mat. Every last one of us inside Key Arena was wondering, What happens if this dude hits his head against the rim as he's falling? Do they stop the game? Do they clean the brain matter off the rim, or do they get a new rim entirely? Anyway, it was insane, but it worked (I looked for it on YouTube to no avail).

The other Bigfoot in the game, Shaq, finished with nine points. Raja Bell shot 6-6 from beyond the arc, spraining his ankle after hitting the last one when a Sonic defender stepped under him, so that he landed on the Sonic's foot. If that's ever happened to you, man, you know how much that hurts. If I were commish, I'd make that a technical foul. We'd call it The Bowen Rule.

First "Dreaded Glitch": The CBS scoreboard reported "Kansas 85, Portland State 61, F/2 OT". I don't think so.

Georgia, at 14, is the lowest seed an SEC school has ever been in the NCAAs. Maybe that's why the Dawgs are still leading Xavier by four at the midway mark of the second half. Me, I like watching Bulldog center Dave Bliss, who reminds you of some dude who should be playing in the Big Sky conference.

By the way, how bizarre that Baylor is in the tourney for the first time in a decade, and that there's also someone named Dave Bliss in the tourney as well? Dave Bliss, you'll recall, was the coach in Waco when one of their players murdered the other.

Baylor and Georgia are even in the same regional (South) and would meet on Saturday if both win today.

But Xavier just finished a 10-0 run to go ahead for the first time since CBS switched to the game in my region, which was hafltime. It's 52-49, X, with 7:18 to play.

Your NIT tournament bracket, in case you were wonderign how you were doing in your NIT pool:

NIT Tournament bracket

Also, if you ever find yourself in the Bellevue/Redmond area in Washington, as I do today, visit MasterBurger , which is just off the 520. It's like Arnold's Drive-In from "Happy Days". As Jules Winnfield once said, "That is a tasty burger."

We interrupt his blog to remind you that if you're reading this or watching the hoop -- or both -- that chances are you're doing this while you should be working. But I am working. However, after the first games today I may skip out and give a Powerpoint presentation.

Sundiata Gaines of Georgia just picked 5-7 Xavier stud Drew Lavender's pocket in the open court. That probably happens to Lavender once a year at most. The Dawgs are up 41-30 early in the second half and playing with the looseness of a 17-16 team that knows it's playing with house money.

By the way, the two shortest players in the tournament (I believe) are currently in action and are their team's MVPs: Lavender of Xavier and Jeremiah Dominguez of Portland State.

I know a certain heavy metal band that is not doing enough to take advantage of the free pub it's getting on that AT&T ad that has been running lately.

Meanwhile, Michigan State is dominating the boards as we expected them to against Temple. At halftime the Spartans lead 35-27. Temple's Dionte Christmas has two fouls and no points thus far. He was the MVP of the A-10 tournament just last weekend.

CBS just showed a graphic of Portland State guard Deonte Huff as he stepped up to the free throw line to attempt his first foul shot of the game. It said that Huff was 17/17 from the free throw line in a game versus Montana last month. Of course Huff missed the shot.

Johntourage member Mike McCollow is seated four rows back of the Kansas bench in Omaha and promises to phone in any bizarre occurrences to us. Mike reports that as he was driving through Iowa earlier today (he lives in Minneapolis) that a local sports station was playing a song entitled "Draking Care of Business".

Michigan State's center is pursuing a PhD in finance, Gus Johnson just told us. Now I feel even worse about sitting here in my pajama bottoms blogging about the tourney.

There's bound to be one team below an 8 seed winning today. But who will it be? Ranking the most likely first-round upsets from "Most Likely" to "Least Likely" and providing a reason why:

1. No. 9 Kent State over No. 8 UNLV

The Golden Flashes have held their last five opponents to an average of 51 ppg.

2. No. 11 Kansas State over No. 6 USC

Michael Beasley may be the country's most talented player, and the Wildcats are playing a virtual home game in Omaha, Neb.

3. No. 11 Kentucky over No. 6 Marquette

Billy Gillespie's team has improved greatly since New Year's Day. And Marquette was only the fifth- or sixth-best team in the Big East.

4. No. 10 Arizona over No. 7 West Virginia

Are you beginning to feel my "Wildcats" theme? I've even got Goldie Hawn advancing to the Elite Eight. Any team with Chase Budinger and Jerryd Bayless shouldn't be counted out.

I'm listening to Davidson head coach Bob McKillop on ESPN News. This is from today's presser, I assume, since Davidson meets Gonzaga in Raleigh tomorrow.

 McKillop is insightful, candid and sincere. He answers questions with anecdotes, and he seems to enjoy venturing away from coachspeak. I love this guy. He's first team All-Press Conference in my notepad. Davidson has to be a favorite to pull the mild upset tomorrow. They've won 22 in a row, and whereas Gonzaga had to travel across the country to play, Davidson only had to drive about two hours east.

As we embark on the tourney, let's look back at last year's "Killer Animal" tournament conjured up by the Max Kellerman radio show:

Rumble in the Jungle

This is brilliant; let's break down the tourney a little further:

1) Tiger-Bunny Rabbit as an opening round 1-16 matchup!

2) NYC Rat, as a 16 seed, gets sent out of its region to the "African Plains" for its first-round matchup versus an African elephant. The fix was in.

3) Best first-round matchup? Chimps w/ Spears versus Bleacher Creatures. Chimps won.

4) There's no way that Hippo loses to Moose in the second round. Hippos kill more people each year in South Africa than sharks do.

5) In the spirit of the "Anteaters vs. Driver Ants" first-round matchup, there could have been a "Great Whites" versus "Great White Pyrotechnics" game.

5) On the bubble, and left out: Flesh Eating Zombies, Cigarettes, Text-Messaging Teen Drivers.

Ranking the Starting 16, the first day's quartet squared of contests, from least interesting to most:

16 Mississippi Valley State vs. 1 UCLA, Anaheim, 9:45 p.m. ET

The Bruins will likely need to beat a pair of Devils (the Delta Devils of MVSU and the Blue Devils of Duke) to reach San Antonio. MVSU began the season 0-8. This will get ugly early.

16 Portland State vs. 1 Kansas, Omaha, 12:25 p.m. ET

Keep an eye on 5-foot-6 Jeremiah Dominguez, who led the Vikes in scoring and assists this season. Portland State is making its first trip to the tourney. The Jayhawks coach Bill Self has made the Elite Eight four times, but has yet to advance beyond.

14 Cal-State Fullerton vs. 3 Wisconsin; Omaha, 9:30 p.m. ET

Guarantee that the name Kevin Costner will be mentioned. The actor attended Fullerton. The Titans have no starter taller than 6-feet-5, which may render Badger center Bryan Butch untouchable.

My buddy Tom Cavanagh is hosting his 21st annual March Madness pool, where you can win nearly as much $$$ for submitting the best team name as you can for winning the pool (Tom, by the way, has never won his own pool, a not insensitive subject in his domicile).

Anyway, two years ago I finished in a tie for first place with the name Fran Frischilla, Queen of the Desert. This year, with one day before team names are due, I'm struggling (struggling even more, you might think). I really don't care who's in my Final Four, but I do want a respectable team name. Here are some ideas so far:

1) JOHN, DAVIDSON

2) I AM SHORTAR SHORTAR THAN LONGAR LONGAR

3) PSYCHO T PARTY

4) I'VE GOT KELVIN SAMPSON ON THE OTHER LINE

5) AUSTIN PEAY TARTY

6) WE'VE GOT THABEET!

7) TAJ FINGER ROLL

8) BOB KNIGHT TIE COLLECTION

9) ST. JOE'S HAWK, JOHN WOODEN: THINGS THAT WILL NEVER DIE

10) VIRGIN ON DISBELIEF: ST. MARY'S-MOUNT ST. MARY'S FINAL

So, as you can see, I need help. Any suggestions?

While you're thinking, why not read this story?

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/23611178/site/21683474/

Or this one?

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/23617259/site/21683474/

Or this one?

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/23592407/site/21683474/

Huge, huge ups to our own MARCIA REINAUER, by the way, who shot and edited all the video that accompanied these pieces. Reinauer is one of those above-and-beyond performers. 

Safe to say by now you've filled out your bracket and settled on a Final Four.

UNC ... KANSAS ... MEMPHIS ... UCLA ... Most people would agree, the selection committee did a pretty good job getting the top seeds right.

But for those of us who aren't on the selection committee and live in the real world this is when all the magic happens. Because in our own personal bubble, we direct who's in and who's out. It's up to you and me to guess the Cinderella, pick out the spoiler, and decide which of those four top seeds will crash and burn. Ahh ... there's such power involved.

Now add in a little old fashion gambling for good measure and suddenly people who don't even like basketball are into it. March wouldn't be half as fun if there wasn't a little risk involved, some type of friendly wager and a few bragging rights.

So the process begins ... At this point "the responsible person" in the office has already collected the money, organized the filled-in brackets and is planning whose cubicle will play "host" to the rest of the office and watch the games. From now up until April 7 there will be absolutely no work accomplished at any office in the country. It's why we all love March.

Pay attention to the South Region. Memphis is the top seed, 33-1 only losing to Bruce Pearl, and went 8-1 against NCAA tournament teams. And yet, I'm not so quick to put them on a plane and ship 'em to San Antonio. I like PITT. I like them not just to beat Oral Roberts and Michigan State but to go all the way and meet Texas in Houston at the Regional.

Before you call me crazy ... I went to the Big East Tournament at MSG here in New York City. Watching Pitt warm up along side Rick Pitino's Louisville team, I thought they might just pull it off. I made a bet with my co-worker and said: "I'm taking Pitt. You?" He laughed, shook my hand and said: "Hundred bucks says Louisville." He kept his money but he and his team both headed home 0-1. Jamie Dixon's team was ready to go, they were confident and best of all not intimidated. Even when it got to OT, they got the job done. Saturday night against Georgetown (my pick last year to go all the way) Pitt looked even better then they did on Thursday. Pieces are fitting pretty nicely for those Panthers.

March Maddness arrived on Sunday and the interviews are still going. Sunday night John Walters and I spoke with Ben Howland, UCLA's coach. Today I interviewed Bobby Knight. While he had much to say and at the same time no picks to give, the thought that struck out at me the most was when he said: "You tell your parents they did a good job." Haha.. ok, will do Coach.

I am serious, and don't call me CP3 ...

TYLER HANSBROUGH NOW DATING GISELE BUNDCHEN

I mean, what is left for Psycho T? Talk about clutch. Although that celebration chicken dance definitely was straight out of "Revenge of the Nerds IV: Nerds In Love" (yes, I have HBO Extra).

Meanwhile in Durham, Kyle "One" Singler "Sensation" did not have his best game. I still love this frosh, even if he doesn't work as hard as Tyler Hansbrough, because not in your wildest dreams could you hope to work as hard as Tyler Hansbrough, because while you were dreaming (wildly, may I remind you) of working like Tyler Hansbrough, he'd be out there working. So just forget about even thinking that you or any mere mortal could work half as hard as Tyler Hansbrough, even when he's napping ... which he would never do.

Obama-Hansbrough. Maybe even better than Obama-Clooney.

SWEATY PALM SUNDAY

It is Palm Sunday for Catholics, so on this day I think it would be nice if college and NBA refs allowed guards to palm the ball. Oh, wait, that's right, they allow them to do this every day. When I was a lad, we had our own term for "crossover dribble". It was "carrying the ball, turnover".

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ROCKS

Last week I was up in our plush Stamford offices and I overhead a twentysomething say," Saturday Night Live isn't funny any more. It used to be funny, but it isn't any more." And I wondered if he realized that people have been saying that since before he was born. The irony being, of course, that the show has been on that long and that people still tune in.

As almost always in its history, SNL has been hit-and-miss lately. But the WE team of Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler is one of the strongest they've ever had. Last night's best line had to do with the study that one in four teen girls has an STD. Poehler's line: "'I like those odds,' said Mr. Jones, the cool history teacher."

When the "Strange But True, 2008" compilation comes out later this year, let's make sure the Alabama-Mississippi State game is given a few grafs. You realize that if this contest hadn't gone into overtime, this would have just been a garden-variety tornado having hit the Georgia Dome between games?

But noooooooooooo! There had to be an overtime, and the Bulldogs had to be a tornado--do you realize that the CNN world headquarters are like half a mile away? Did anyone from the CNN weather center come on and predict this? More importantly, is Linda Stouffer okay? Linda Stouffer, she's like a young Helen Mirren to me...

Anyway, you have a game being interrupted by a tornado in which there's a player named Varnado! Five years ago, this sort of occurrence would have inspired my buddy Steve Rushin to write an epic poem about the entire episode:

You say Varnado,

I say Tornado,

You say Ben Hansbrough,

I say Tim Tebow,

Varnado, Tornado, Hansbrough, Tim Tebow,

Let's call the whole thing off...with 2:11 left to play in overtime

College football needs a playoff.

I don't believe this, but a lot of sports fans do. Maybe even you do.

I'll grant that sometimes it is difficult to defend the system as it is currently arranged. I mean, when one of the teams in your national championship game played its most recent game 50 days ago--imagine North Carolina and Memphis not playing another hoop game after today and then playing for the national title on May 3rd. Kind of stupid, right?

So, yeah, that's mental.

But here's what I'd like college basketball fans to explain: How dumb is the conference tournament set-up?

Imagine, for instance, you're Notre Dame or U Conn, two teams that went out in their first game at the Big East tourney yesterday. If I'm Mike Brey or Jim Calhoun, I'm relieved that we lost. I get my players back to campus by Friday and we can have a few good practices, and get some rest, before we have to fly out as early as Tuesday to our NCAA first-round game.

And after all, isn't that what's more important? The Big Dance? Do people fill out Mid-Atlantic Athletic Conference tournament brackets, after all (If you do, you best keep that to yourself)?

Is it really to Georgetown's benefit to play three games in as many days just five days before their biggest game of the year? Do you see the Hoyas, or anyone else, playing two games on successive nights--much less three--any other time of the season?

Spring Training. I hate to admit it but as a kid, it didn't seem like anything super special. I will even go as far to say I grew up thinking all kids had a team come and train in their town. Obviously I was a delusional victim incapable of appreciating things until I lived life without them. (I experienced something very similar with the beach after I moved away to college and NYC. To this day I crave salty air, sand in my toes and hot sun.) But just like growing up next to the beach, Dodgertown was always there and while I loved both, there was no reason to think about it beyond that. Senior year of high school I worked at Perkins, a CVS-type store just down the street from Holman Stadium. Players came in and out of there all the time. It was totally normal to come home, slam the door and yell: "Hey dad, guess who was in tonight!" 

Growing up, for as long as the Dodgers were in town, a few things came guaranteed on the corner of 43rd and 26th street. Field trips (yes, our high school justified this as some kind of learning experience; an administrative decision I completely support), jobs (you can easily dig up a long list of bat boys), photos and autographs (all I have kept to this day), food (for some reason stadium popcorn + hot dog + coke = perfect! Don't forget small Dodger helmets filled with dip n' dots.), socializing and crazy fan support (VB is almost equal to any small town in Texas), a Florida tan (rookies rolled up their sleeves, the rest of us knew to wear tank tops) and it was fun.

Have you ever been to Vero Beach? Well friend, not many things change. There's this one sign on State Road 60 that reads: "Welcome to Vero Beach, home of Dodgertown". Actually, I'm not 100% sure it says exactly those words. The sign has been there for so long I've etched a mental image of it in my head. So if we're being honest here, I never take time to read it as I drive pass. In my head, I already know it. It's just always been there. I mean there are restaurants the same age as Dick Cheney that have outlasted hurricanes. All of them. It's also a town that for the past 60 years has proudly wrapped its arms around a baseball team. Side note: if you do visit, we've got a drink named Dodger-Dodger. I challenge anyone to try and find something stronger then this drink. Not happening. With this being the last spring training for the Dodgers in Vero, a definitive change, of the biggest kind, is lurking on the horizon.   

Tommy Lasorda was, and still is for that matter, a legend. So imagine my smile when this morning I open up USA Today and see the headline: "Fill-in Lasorda gets back into swing with umpire dispute". Haha.. what?! You mean to tell me Joe Torre goes to the other side of the world for an exhibition game, Lasorda takes over and in a matter of five minutes, he causes enough drama to grab a few headlines! The man hasn't coached in 12 years! But you know what, only a fool would think any of that famous fire had burned out. It was refreshingly familiar, like a piece of home from a very long time ago. Looking at the article I smiled and happily thought, even when things leave, it doesn't mean they change.   

I must say a small gracias to our special guest. Over the course of the past two days, Studio H (where the magic happens) has been graced by the presence of the one and only Aaron Gleeman. Normally Aaron calls in to give his advice but for this special occasion, he flew in to co-host the Fantasy Fix Baseball Preview Shows.

It's not often we hang out. Backing up a tad, Aaron and I's relationship has mainly consisted of telephone calls and a few emails here and there. We've met in person only a handful of times so as one would expect, 48 hours of Gleeman in Stamford was a treat. We shot I think four shows yesterday and then another six today (give or take a few). Let me be the first to tell you AG happens to be extremely comfortable gabbing to a camera (I definitely had wayyyy more mess ups then him) and offers some good one liners along with his analysis. Throw in Gregg Rosenthal with his list of sleepers and you got yourself some pretty good advice from two credible experts. Plus the "Man Crush" segment is a nice touch.

Considering the draft will be here before you know it, I'd say plan on watching these videos before you pick your team. In addition to valuable info, advantage number two is they're short! It gives you exactly what you need to know for each position without taking forever to do it. Let's be honest, no one really wants to spend 7 and a half minutes disecting catchers and guessing when their health will bail and ruin your team. It's a "Just tell me who to draft and when!" guide that will offer free entertainment while you're at work. Sold? Nice. Look for them to be up next week.

Midway through the 3rd quarter at U.S. Airways Arena, and Shaq just created his first signature moment with his new team. What are the chances that the drawers of those two boys he just leaped over are still dry? They've got a pretty decent story to tell their 4th-grade classmates tomorrow.

The San Antonio Spurn visit Phoenix this afternoon, offering us an opportunity to revisit their last visit.

Remember that? On the morning of Jan. 31, San Antonion visited U.S. Airways Arena for the first time since their franchise-crippling Game 5 victory over the Suns last May. You may have watched that game (just like Amare Stoudemire and Boris Diaw ... bitter? Me?). Anyway, on the final day of January here were the two teams' records:

Phoenix..............33-13 (1st in the West)

San Antonio........28-16 (hovering in the middle of the West's playoff pack)

That evening the Spurs, who trailed almost the entire game, outplayed the Suns down the stretch to win 84-81. It was the fewest points the Suns have scored all season, and what's worse, no one even took a shot at Bob Horry. How could they? Horry got a DNP.

The UNC-Duke game is still eight minutes from tip-off and all I say is, "ENOUGH! ENOUGH, ALREADY, ESPN! I BESEECH YOU! WE GET IT. TYLER HANSBROUGH IS BRAVEHEART, CHUCK NORRIS, MAXIMUS, BRETT FAVRE AND THAT DUDE FROM SAVING PRIVATE RYAN WHO PICKS UP HIS OWN ARM AT NORMANDY BEACH AND KEEPS ON WALKING."

Enough. I like Jay Bilas. I like Rece. And I admire Hansbrough. But how many times have you seen that clip of him playing ping-pong Texas-style today? Oh, and maybe someone should have noted that college kids + ping pong table = beer pong (or Beirut). Sure, Texas-style. Whatever you boys say.

I'll ask the question: If Tyler Hansbrough had all the same qualities, in terms of -- what's the buzzword? --"relentlessness," etc., and he were African-American, would this love-in be taking place? I love how Hansbrough plays (he's like David Lee, but on a good team) and sure, the fact that he wants to stay in college long enough to take 300-level courses is cool. But if Michael Beasley is, in the words of Dick Vitale, "the most outstanding player in America," and if he scores more points and grabs more boards per game with a lesser supporting cast than Hansbrough has, doesn't he deserve more attention? Or does the media neglect him, relative to Hansbrough,  because we view him more as a college hoops mercenary than a student athlete?

A few years ago I devoted an entire year of my life to writing a book about women's college basketball. And some of you might wonder why I'd be so intrigued by the sport (Bill Simmons, were he to read this blog, chief among you). Anyway, here's why.

Thanks to L.A. for sending that along.

Of course, it was Everlasting Blogstalker G.A., another male devotee of women's college hoops, who had the funniest (printable) take on this news item:

Who am I to disagree with Mike Celizic? After all, he has been a columnist on this site since before I had gray hair.

Who am I? I'm nobody. And who is he? ("Starsky ... or Hutch? I can't remember." ... never miss an opportunity to quote "Extras").

Anyway, allow me to respectfully disagree with my colleague's assertion that the NBA should re-seed itself for the playoffs a la the NCAAs. For a few reasons ...

1. If we are going to base it on a team's record, then wouldn't we have to revamp the entire scheduling format? For example, is it fair that Dallas has to face Houston, San Antonio and New Orleans four times apiece but only gets Miami twice?

Celizic might counter -- because he is a smart fellow -- that this only underscores his point. The West has twice as many teams with above-.500 records (10 to the East's five) and that is despite West teams having to fight a war of attrition with one another all season long. Still, if you're going to evaluate all the teams as if they're in one giant tourney pool, shouldn't they all play one another with as little difference in frequency as possible?

2. The oceans may level out -- sea level is sea level everywhere, after all -- but talent does not. There's probably a weekend anchor in New York or L.A. who'd be a superstar if she were working in the Quad Cities market. Tough. Equality of opportunity is all very American. Equality of result is all very Stalin.

3. My sports page's agate type section is already too confusing. At some point in the last few weeks the standings makers scrapped the divisional format and went to a conference format. Now you want me to determine if my team is going to make the playoffs by comparing their win percentage to those of teams in the opposite conference. My head hurts. Mom, can I have some juice?

4. The Denver Nuggets are 24-6 when they don't have a game the night before or the night after. They are 11-13 the rest of the time. Tell George Karl to start enforcing curfew during back-to-back road games and maybe Denver won't have to worry about watching the playoffs from Carmelo's crib.

5. I'm sure John Edwards would have loved to have switched parties when he realized that no one was paying attention to him at the debates last month, but he's not Joe Lieberman. Good for him.

On the other hand, it might be fun to allow a wrinkle in the playoffs. Say, if the ninth-best team in one conference has an above-.500 record while playoff-bound teams in the other conference do not, we give that ninth-best team the option of missing the playoffs (thus giving them lottery pick potential) or switching conferences for the postseason. Thus, the Nuggets, if the playoffs were to begin today, could either choose to sit home and hope that Michael Beasley falls in their lap, or they could suddenly be the four seed in the East -- and New Jersey, currently 8th in the East, would drop out. I'd be up for that.

Brett Favre retired! I mean, wow. It's crazy, right? I can't believe NO ONE is talking about it. ESPN hasn't even mentioned it. Not once. No matter how hard I look, I can't find any information on it. Can someone call him? 

(sarcasm my friends, all sarcasm)

I understand yesterday was a monumental day in the world of crazed-football fans. (I will feel the exact same when Bobby Bowden retires.) And to those Packers who loyaly stuck by their gunslinger for all 253 games, I can only imagine how you handled the heartbreaking news. As my co-worker Beret said: "I love him." Yes Beret, so many people do.

But... and I'm talking a huge BUT... is he really gone? The end? No mas? I don't and won't believe it until AFTER next season is complete. If he actually doesn't suit up and play a game then I'll believe his legacy is complete and the records will hold with his final numbers of the '07 season. I am not even sure I buy the "I'm tired" excuse. Not because I think he'd lie. No, because this is a man who played like a kid his entire career. Favre doesn't get tired. He's superhuman. Could it have to do with the failed attempt to get Randy Moss? Maybe.

My thinking (for all its worth) is that when he sat down, looked back at this past season and all he'd accomplished, there was just no way he could come back and top it. No way in hell. As my partner in crime Gregg Rosenthal always reminds me: "The NFL is a crazy league. Anything can happen." Normally this reminder comes after I've said to him "Wow, the Browns look really really good for next year." It's not a statement made to paint the future rosy rather to remind us that high hopes and a stacked roster often have a way of disappointing us in the long run.

Getting back to Brett, just think about it. To try to come back for another season after what he just did at the age of 38: finished 13-3, shattered the books by taking out records set by John Elway and Dan Marino, advancing into the playoffs, and going down just one game away from the Super Bowl. That's a lot to try to surpass. A lot even for a guy like Brett Favre. When you think about it that way, yes returning for one season would seem exhausting. It's not the playing the game part but attempting to out due what he did last year.

Face it: in August of '07, no one expected him to bust out the caliber of season he did. Yes, there were expectations (as they are for any team and any QB) but there were also questions swirling on what kind of production he'd bring. But now the bar for August of '08 would be just too big, too much, and too high. It'd be through the roof. And very possibly, highly impossible to top.

My cafe. I love it because it covers all the basics: location (quick walk from my house), food (breakfast all day, coffee, salads, crepes!), and offers free internet (that actually works, except when a bus passes by or they use the blender, then its hit or miss).

Why am I here? Some "project" is underway at the apartment building next door to mine and it involves a lot of banging. A lot. Somewhere in the middle of all that banging something happened to my internet and I wound up at my cafe. Regardless I've got a window seat, Frank Sinatra humming in the background, and MSNBC on the flat screen. Like I said it covers the basics.

I walk in and sit down. As if on cue, lady next to me immediately gets up and moves to another table. "I'm sorry, am I in your way?" I said. Lady: "No, I'm allergic to perfume." Now before I become insulted (I'm wearing all of three squirts), I sympathize with her.

It was a repeat, but I finally caught the "Happy Slapsgiving" episode of How I Melt Your Mother last night.

(a note to new readers of this blog: I spend an inordinate amount of space discussing these five issues:

1. "How I Melt Your Mother"
2.  The Phoenix Suns
3. "The Gilmore Girls"
4. The luminous beauty that is Helen Mirren
5. "Scrubs" -- before the executive producer became obsessed with babies and child-rearing, and now it's a snooze

Just warning you.)

Anyway, it was the "Happy Slapsgiving" episode of HIMYM, which hit home for a variety of reasons:

If you live on the east coast but grew up out west, ESPN's late-night Big Monday college basketball telecast is a welcome reprieve from the winter woes. From the hibernal heebie jeebies. From the "Damnit to hell, already, early March blows in every conceivable way!" madness that has perforated your soul.

Each Monday, at or around midnight, you can escape your cabin fever misery by living vicariously through the student sections at, say, Pepperdine or San Diego or Santa Clara. They're rowdy, they're healthy, and if they have an 8 a.m. Organic Chemistry exam tomorrow, they don't seem much to care. They look like the kids I went to college with looked after spring break.

I  was just able to confirm with a source that the Patriots and Randy Moss are just reviewing details of a three-year, $27 million deal and that only signing the deal remains.

Looks like a nice deal for both sides in that Moss remains with the team for whom he had the most success and the Patriots retain him for a very reasonable amount given the dollars flying around in free agency.

We'll have a more developed take on the topic later in the afternoon.

Reading the tea leaves on Randy Moss' nearly 72-hour (and counting) sojourn into free agency, the less you hear, the more likely it is he'll be re-signing with the Patriots.

Historically, the Patriots are as tight-lipped as the Kremlin. Their deafening silence on the matter is merely S.O.P.

Meanwhile, Moss' agent, Tim DiPiero, has gone to radio silence since free agency started. That's also normal for a negotiation with the Patriots: Agents asked to please button their lips. With some exceptions - like players who've been with the Patriots and are taking their dismay to the press - most of those agents comply. 

But at other NFL addresses, the courtship of free agents - especially free agents which will elicit fan interest - tends to get out. And there's been nothing from other clubs.

There could be two reasons for this.

It could be, simply, that teams don't like to get played. If Moss' return to New England is a fait accompli, they don't want to be out there dangling offers that ultimately were only going to be used as leverage by Moss against New England.

Or it could be that they are falling in lockstep with DiPiero's wishes as laid out by the Patriots. Keep everything quiet. That seems less likely.

Now I know for a fact that the Moss situation has the attention of GMs around the league. But the intrigue hasn't yet metastasized into action.

The only report of consequence on Sunday came from the indefatigable Adam Schefter on NFL Network. He said the Patriots and Moss are close to a deal. And, given the relationship between Patriots ownership and the NFL brand (a good one), you can take Schefter's report on pretty high authority.

To make a long blog entry a little longer, until we hear of other teams making offers - and that doesn't seem to be happening - assume the Patriots and Moss get this done.

Might the champions of both college and pro hoops come from the same city this year? It's easy to love UCLA and freshman phenom Kevin Love, who literally has bloodlines to the Beach Boys. The Bruins, 24-3 heading into Sunday's game at Arizona, have advanced to the Final Four each of the past two seasons. You have to consider Ben Howland's team a favorite to at least advance that far again this spring.

However, the L.A. team that I am completely enchanted by -- and as a longtime Sun worshipper, it kills me to type this -- is the Lakers. Two weeks ago I used the term "frisky" to describe this team, and after watching them beat Miami on TV last Thursday night, I'm sticking by that adjective. It was the Lakers' 10th consecutive win, by the way, a streak that ended the following night in Portland.

OK not entirely true. I feel, at this point in my career, I want to go to a warm-weather team.

But what is the honest-to-goodness, swear-on-my-muthah truth is that the Bills and Browns are signing/trading for anything that can put on a helmet in the first 36 hours of free agency.

Today, the Browns got the best receiver on the market not named Randy Moss by signing Donte Stallworth according to ESPN.com's Michael Smith. Stallworth was a victim of the "not enough balls to go around" phenomenon in New England last season as 210 Tom Brady passes went to Wes Welker and Moss and Stallworth settled for 46 for 697 yards. But at 27, Stallworth is better after the catch than Moss at this point in his career and, coupling him with Kellen Winslow and Braylon Edwards makes that Browns aerial attack pretty daunting.

With the work Cleveland did on Friday, re-signing

Just spoke to Joel Segal and the agent for former first-round receiver Bryant Johnson says his client will be in Buffalo tomorrow to visit with the Bills. Some reports had him in there on Saturday so hold the phone on that.

I'm also hearing steadier chatter that Buffalo's got interest in Javon Walker, released by the Broncos. They may have to wait for paperwork to clear before they can have him in for a visit.

Former Carolina receiver Drew Carter will be in Oakland on Monday. Segal's in the process today of setting up three visits for running back TJ Duckett.