LIVE FROM GATE B

So here I am at the "Seattle Tap Room" at the Sea-Tac Airport, watching the Duke-West Virginia game with the aid of closed-captioning...or, had I said that out loud and a closed-caption translator had heard it, "clothes cap shunning."

Honestly, how many closed-caption translators are using English as a third language?

Meanwhile, the Duke-West Virginia game is only at halftime and we've already seen a feature on Kyle McAlarney plus an interview with Mike Brey and Luke Harangodly. When did NBC acquire the rights to March Madness (seriously, people, when you write in next fall to whine about how NBC is so pro-Irish, remember this day...ND is only a 5-seed...me, I want to see a feature where Steven Hill of Arkansas takes us back to his hometown of Branson, Missouri...why can't this happen?).

So, Duke leads by five at the half. West Virginia has yet to make a 3-pointer. If I'm Huggy Bear, I'm happy to only be down by 5. If you had to think of one character that Duke's Greg Paulus most closely resembles, in terms of on-court tenacity (or even elevenacity or fourteenacity...he's just that tenacious!), who would it be? You know who I think of: that creature from the fireswamp in "The Princess Bride".

Funniest line I've seen/heard/read all day...from a Deadspin commenter, regarding the Joe Paterno course that will be offered at Penn State: "Will this count toward my paleontology minor?"