RESISTANCE IS FEUDAL

Last Thursday night in Schaumburg, Ill.,I finally was able to scratch this experience off my bucket list. Two of my college buddies, Ferris and the aforementioned Smo (who brought his two year-old son along so that we would not look like complete pansies), joined me.

They covered all the easy jokes years ago in "The Cable Guy", but that doesn't mean we didn't think of more. We hoped, for example, that there'd be buxom and loose wenches in the "Red Knight District". We marveled at the frozen margarita machine in the lobby. So, yes, in the name of historic accuracy there is no silverware at Medieval Times, but you can use your AMEX card to buy a frozen margarita. 

Anyway, it's easy to turn MT into a punch line ("I said, 'Decaf', Wench!") but I enjoyed the heck out of it. It's just the right amount of cheez paired with actual cultural edification. And the knights -- most of whom look as if they play guitar in a White Lion tribute band -- even stay after for an autograph session.
 
GUT PUNCH (Cont.)

So you're telling me that the Phoenix Suns lost Game 1 because Tim Duncan made his first 3-pointer all season!?! Steve Nash deserves so much better than this.

The irony is that earlier this season San Antonio was playing the New York Knicks--the 23-59 Knicks--at Madison Square Garden, trailing by 3 with just seconds left. In that game Manu Ginobili, who is the Argentine reincarnation of John Havlicek, drove toward the hoop, drew in the Knick defense, and kicked it out to a teammate (Michael Finley, I believe), who buried the three to force overtime. The Spurs won it in OT.

But that was the Knicks. It's hard to fault the Suns, in the heat of the moment, on the road late in the first overtime, for converging on Ginobili as he drove toward the hoop. But, man, you're up by 3, Planet Orange. With less than five ticks remaining. Give up the layup.

Credit Manu with making an unbelievably accurate pass considering where he was on the court in relation to Duncan, and basically flinging the ball over his right ear.

Also, um, for what it's worth to anyone else who plays the Spurs this year: Pssst! Manu's going to drive left. 

SCHUBA'S

Spent Saturday evening in Chicago with Rothstein and Ferris. We went to Schuba's, a great bar and live music venue in Lincoln Park. I was hungry, so I ordered something called the "Pulled Pork Johnnycakes", which correct me if I'm mistaken, was also the title of a Sopranos episode. Anyway, it was yummy. And Chicago is just so much more my speed as cities go. You might even say that it's my kind of town.
 
LOKEN

Congrulations to an old friend, Susan Loken, who finished 41st at the U.S. Women's Olympic Marathon Trials on Sunday in Boston. Susan, who ran a 2:42, is a most impressive individual. First of all, she is 44 years old. Second, she is a single mom raising two boys at home who works full-time. Third, and what is almost unbelievable, she never even took up running (or anything athletic, for that matter) before the age of 35.

To put that in perspective, there were only four women who finished ahead of Susan who were even older than the age (35) that she was when she even took up "jogging".

And less than ten years later, Susan has already competed in two Olympic Trials and won a dozen or so marathons herself.

Hey, Runner's World, put her on the cover already. It isn't as if Victah Sailer doesn't have a role or three of film on her.
 
DIGGER

Before the Blue-Gold Game on Saturday I tracked down my old friend Digger Phelps for an on-camera interview. Digger is a character, but he's basically a good egg. Anyway, I asked him one question and what followed was about a seven-minute stream of consciousness answer that ranged from Jimmy Clausen to recruiting to impressionist painting to the play "Love Letters" to Jamie Moyer (his son-in-law) to Hurricane Katrina relief. I stopped listening to what he was saying and began wondering when he'd come up for air. And I'm going to beg our video editor to post it untouched under the title "Vintage Digger".

Jankovich, that one's for you