BOREDOM PATROL
So I was driving across the desert early morning Monday, betwixt Los Angeles and Phoenix, on Interstate 10. And I came across a "Border Patrol" truck, which looks not unlike one o' them "Animal Control" trucks. And it occurred to me that while Border Patrol is probably a necessity (you have no idea how many Canadians are hoodwinking kindly customs officials to gain access into the fruited plains and whatnot), wouldn't we all be better off with a Boredom Patrol?
These agents of excitement would sweep into town and relieve us all of our languid ways. The truck would pull up, a deejay would emerge out of the back, and suddenly it would be crazytown all over the place. Or we could all just continue watching Idol, I guess.
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Congratulations to Jon Lester of the Red Sox. That's the fourth no-hitter a Boston pitcher has thrown since 2002 (Hideo Nomo, Derek Lowe and Clay Buchholz as well) and more meaningfully, the catcher for all four gems was Jason Varitek. Which is why the game that sticks out most to me is the one-hitter thrown by Curt Schilling last year. Schilling has 216 career wins, the other four a combined 256. But unlike Schilling, those other four were smart enough not to wave off Varitek's sign with two outs in the 9th inning and a no-hitter still intact. Schilling waved off Varitek last spring in just that situation at Oakland, and the A's broke up the no-no.
My new favorite radio station: 100.3, "The Sound", in L.A. Though they need to play more Green Day. Is there a better driving song than "Holiday"?
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How big were Kurt Thomas' offensive rebounds, especially in the first half, in San Antonio's Game 7 win at New Orleans? Whether or not you believe the Hornets are better, San Antonio will definitely give L.A. a more competitive series due to experience. My new favorite word is "Gi-No-BILI!!!"
Quite the Manu week, by the way. Ginobili's 26 points helps propel the Spurs into the real NBA Finals, while Manchester United (i.e., Man U.) takes on Chelsea in the Champions League Final tomorrow. This may not be a big deal where you live, but if you walk into any regular pub in New York City tomorrow between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m., you'll feel as if you've stumbled into New Year's Eve. Stick around and you'll definitely feel as if you're stumbling out of New Year's Eve. Certainly one of the best sports days of the year if you happen to live in a city with a giant immigrant population. And who doesn't these days?
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That was Justine Bateman playing a drug dealer on "Desperate Housewives" recently, and Jason Bateman in a cameo role during the closing credits gag in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Who knew you'd still be able to experience a double-barreled Bateman weekend in 2008?
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Ornithology Update: If you were thrilled by the account of the red-tailed hawk living just a few yards away from my own New York City nest, get this. Today; my mom discovered a great horned owl chick in their front property in Devil's Gulch (our pet name for the town), Arizona. Its mom is across the street and looks big and mean enough to carry a fashion model away if it so desired. Alas, we are fresh out of fashion models at my parents' house. Still, we called a nice man, Carl, from Liberty Wildlife, who was exactly what you'd expect. He advised us how to care for the owl--they don't drink water, just the blood of their victims--and said he should be fine if mom keeps feeding him.
By the way, it was a record-110 degrees here in the Phoenix area yesterday. That broke the record of 105, which was set in 2006. But don't worry about global warming; please just continue using your $600 government rebate to go shopping at the mall and don't forget to wear a U.S. flag pin on your lapel.
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NBCSports.com's John Walters goes into the world of college sports and well beyond. From Notre Dame to the latest in pop culture, JDub tackles it all.
No mention of the first season-ender of "How I Met Your Mother" bowing out to the 'Mats, "Here Comes A Regular"?
Green Day's new album is out-- under the nom de plume, "Foxboro Hottubs". Kind of a brilliant way to skirt around having to live up to "American Idiot". Lots of great songs though.
So you're comparing the border patrol to animal control. Like stray dogs, that's how it is? I've got to figure out where to start the protests.