WIMBY, DAY 5: ROGER THAT

Grass Half Full: Looking forward to Friday's matches, we have men's No. 1 seed Roger Federer, whose sartorial choices this fortnight lead me to believe that this must be his favorite band, plays 31 year-old Marc Gicquel of France, who did not turn pro until he was 24 years old. That's the first match (1 p.m. local start) on Centre Court, and I'm wondering whether RF did not lobby the All England for an early draw so that he'd be able to change out of his cardigan and into his "I wanna rock" clothes for the only event this fortnight that can challenge Wimbledon in terms of prestige, tonight's Nelson Mandela 90th Birthday Concert from Hyde Park (even though he will remain 89 until July 18th).

          Also known as the 46664 Concert (Mandela's inmate # during his 27 years of internment...you spend 27 years wrongfully imprisoned, you can celebrate your birthday any time you want), the show boasts a Geldofian array of marquee names: Shirley Bassey ("Gold-finger!"), Annie Lennox, Simple Minds and Queen (with Paul Rodgers in the impossible-to-uphold role of Freddie Mercury) for us older folks, and Leona Lewis, Razorlight and the most aptly named Amy Winehouse for the "American Idol" generation. Also, the two cutest Corrs siblings, which is nice.

         I'm just betting Roger, with a day off Saturday and a likely straight-setter early this afternoon, has VIP passes. One person who doesn't, by the way, is runway rumbler Naomi Campbell, about whom it was reported earlier this week that Mandela specifically stated she was not to be allowed onstage during the show. Ouch, babe.

FYI: Roger Federer's parents met in South Africa, where Robert Federer, a Swiss expat at the time, was living and where his mother was born and raised. They met and wed during Apartheid, while Mandela was cooling his boots on Robben Island.

Also up today: Mario Ancic of Croatia, the last man to defeat Roger Federer on Centre Court (the year was 2002), returns to the home of the Royal Box to meet 5th seed David Ferrer (suggestion: a steerage-level area near the top of the stadium be reserved for punk rockers and be called the "Royal Bollocks"...Who's with me? [As Walters holds up a palm waiting for a high-five that will never come]). Will Ancic's antics lead to an upset of the Spaniard?

       --Ladies' No. 1 seed Ana Ivanovic, the best of the plethora of Eastern Europeans who pepper the women's draw, meets Zheng Jie of Far Eastern Europe, a.k.a. Asia, specifcally China.

       --Ladies' No. 6 seed Serena Williams vs No. 9 Amelie Mauresmo, who between them can account for three of the past six singles championships here at The AELTC. Mauresmo, the '06 champ, has fallen so far so swiftly that she played her first two matches of this tournament out on Court. No. 11, which I believe is also used to store excess pallets of Pimm's. Mmm, Pallets of Pimm's.

Mos-COWs (which is no implication as to their size, but to the fact that cows are female and play on grass):

   How dominant are the Russian women? Even without the top-seeded Russian female, Sharapova, advancing to the 3rd round, the Russians have nine players (of 32 total) remaining in the Ladies Singles. The next best-represented nation is the USA with 3, two-thirds of which is the Williams sisters, who if they formed their own nation would be the No. 2 most represented nation left. And, since the sisters are Jehovah's Witnesses and thus do not believe in voting or being involved in politics, aren't they sort of a nation unto themselves already?

One Night In London (which is not a song, which in itself makes it a superior tune to "One Night In Bangkok")

       My trusty cohort, Beret Remak, and I heard London Calling our names on Wednesday night. We took the Tube into Waterloo Station, where we quickly repaired to the closest pub (Wellington's) to watch the Euro Cup semi between Germany and Turkey. While not the football aficionado that my friends at SI, The Mark Brothers (Mark Bechtel, Mark Beech and Mark Mravic), happen to be, I still get into the big matches. Don't know if you caught it, but the two sides exchanged three goals in the match's final 13 minutes as Germany prevailed, 3-2.

     Still, Turkey's game-tying goal (1:28 of this video, but it doesn't do the assist justice), by Semih Senturk after a "there's your jockstrap" assist by Sabri Sarioglu, in the 86th minute was one of the more incredible plays you're likely to see. The defender Sarioglu fooled on the play, Germany's Philipp Lahm, will be allowed to return to Deutschland, though, as he scored the game-winner four minutes later.

     The soccer match was not the only sporting event taking place at Wellington's. As I approached the bar for a second round of Carlings, I overheard two blokes discussing a game one of them had invented. It had to do with making contact--actual physical contact--with strange women at bars, under the pretense of it being accidental, and a scoring system. Here's one of the more intriguing lines I overheard: "And if you brush against both breasts, that's worth six points."

   Beret and I--neither of us having been scored upon--then left Wellingtons and took our own express tour of London, everything you can see in two hours (or, 36 more minutes than it took Alla Kudryavtseva to dispatch of Sharapova): two crossings of the Thames, Trafalgar Square (obligatory photo atop a lion statue), Buckingham Palace, an impromptu, and entirely urgent, visit to a bush by yours truly in St. James Park, Big Ben, Westminster Bridge and the London Eye. It was the equivalent of speed-reading a book of poetry. So boorish, so American, but then at least we ventured afar from our neighborhood poob.

London Eye Candy

This is the London Eye. This is London Eye Candy:

Ladies Draw: Caroline Wozniacki, Belarus 

                  She's only 17 on the Gregorian Calendar, but since her birthday is July 11 that makes her 18 on the Nelson Mandelan Calendar and thus we feel comfortable extolling her loveliness (stand down, Mr. Hanson). The Belarus Babe has won both her matches thus far in straight sets and faces No. 2 seed Jelena Jankovic on Saturday. Sweet. Caroline. Good times never looked so good (so good, so good!).

Men's Draw: The Bryan Brothers, USA

REMAK'S REMIX