WIN A DATE WITH JOSH HAMILTON

Why so much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth as the All-Star Game ventured into "Last Call with Carson Daly" time? As fans we root for something extraordinary and unique. Why do broadcasters have to be such killjoys? Honestly, if both managers opted not to exhaust the All-Star arms of such household names as George Sherrill and Carlos Marmol, would anyone have protested if they'd just tossed in Josh Hamilton's batting practice tosser, Clay Council?

Did you see that the HR Derby was the most-viewed program (9.2 million viewers) on an ad-supported cable channel this year? Clearly this event is not going to disappear soon. Still,  the format seems messed up if  Hamilton can bash 28 home runs in one round--more than 90% of his peers will all season--and not win. And how about a few other contests to display other talents?

1) Radar Gun Rally: Simply, who can throw the fastest pitch in baseball? Pitchers get ten warmups, then they are allowed three pitches to see who has the game's fastest fastball.
2) Pop-Up Pain-o-rama: Place a pitching machine--or rocket launcher--just beyond 2nd base. Aim skyward. Players compete to catch pops that are fired to reach increasingly dizzying heights.
3) 2nd to Home: This contest tests speed and ability to round a base. Players start at 2nd base and are timed from the moment they step off the bag until they reach home plate.

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Bobby Murcer passed away last Saturday, too soon at the age of 62. While a younger generation of New York Yankee fans regarded him as the friendly voice on Yankee telecasts, those of us of an older generation recall him as our first boyhood idol. Murcer manned the most famous position in baseball, centerfield for the Yankees, between two Mickeys: Mantle and Rivers (the Bobby Bonds year never happened, okay?).
If you were born in the mid-Sixties, as was I, you grew up watching a lot of average--and subpar--Yankee clubs and thus make no apologies for being a Yankee fan. In those early '70s days, there were four Yankees worth rooting for: Murcer, Graig Nettles, Thurman Munson and Sparky Lyle. Of those four Murcer was easily the most personable, and probably the one least likely to have to attend confession.
There was always a sparkle in Murcer's eyes (there was an actor of that time about Murcer's age who I always felt closely resembled him and shared the same given name: Bobby Van; he died way too early of cancer). Murcer was traded away in '75 for Bobby Bonds and by the time he returned--1979-- the Yanks had won two World Series in his absence.
Ever since Babe Ruth arrived, the Yanks have always had at least one great player to showcase: From Ruth to Gehrig to DiMaggio to Mantle to Murcer to Mattingly to Jeter. The most fallow time in the team's history, though, were the Murcer years. The Yanks were lucky to have him around as long as they did. He was always classy and always kind.

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It stayed somewhat under the radar, but Notre Dame cornerback Darrin Walls has left school for personal reasons this week. He will not play this season. I'd rate Walls as the 2nd or, at worst, 3rd-best player on the Irish defense (after David Bruton and perhaps Pat Kuntz...or Ian Williams). You'll recall that Williams was the only Irish player to score a touchdown in the first three games of the 2007 season. The Irish will miss his presence this season. He's a dynamo.

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As Americans, should we consider last weekend's Miss Universe pageant as an ominous sign for the Beijing Olympics? For the second consecutive year our entry stumbled and fell during the evening gown competition of the pageant. And this took place in Vietnam, which is within grinning distance of China.
Is it too much to ask of our Miss USA to be able to walk and wave simultaneously? We just don't have the natural talent of a Venezuela or Colombia. Our contestants must be able to perambulate with some degree of deftness if we are to have any prayer of even advancing to the swimsuit competition.

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Funniest thing I saw on TV yesterday: CNBC's Erin Brunette had SEC (that's Securities & Exchange Commission, not Southeastern Conference) commissioner Christopher Cox on to discuss the dubious practice of "naked shorting" a stock. So, as Cox expounded on the maneuver, a graphic appeared below that read in bold letters, "COX TAKE ON NAKED SHORTS".

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Finally, the funniest thing I heard in person this week. My friend Mark Beech was describing how his brother-in-law, a U.S. Marine, was on duty in Iraq. When we asked what exactly he was doing, Beech replied, "He's doing interdictions on the Syrian border."
My other friend, Mark Bechtel, replied, "I didn't even know those people had a drinking problem."

Perhaps you had to be there.