ASIA MINORS
It was exactly a quarter-century ago that noted pop chameleon David Bowie became the first person to weigh in on the biggest controversy of the opening week of the 2008 Beijing Games: the age of female Chinese gymnasts.
My little China girl,
You shouldn't mess with me,
I'll ruin everything you are
As fate had it, neither Ziggy Stardust nor Bela Karolyi, nor his wife Marta, nor the Associated Press nor The New York Times were able to ruin China's golden moment at the National Indoor Stadium earlier this week. China took gold in the women's team competition, the host nation's first-ever gold in that event. This despite much harrumphing ("harrumph harrumph harrumph") about three of China's six female gymnasts: Yang Yilin, Jiang Yuyuan and He Kexin.
The issue, apparently--and ironically--concerned a term you've heard a lot around the gymnastics venute this week: start value.
Not scoring start value, which denotes the difficulty score of any routine, a new wrinkle in gymnastics scoring at these Games. But rather, life start value. In other words, when exactly did Yang, Jiang and He begin breathing? Because, there also happens to be a rule in place in gymnastics that says you must turn 16 years old by the end of the calendar year of the Olympics in order to compete.
Which, before we move on, and as an aside, is a silly rule. For a few reasons. First, the wonder boy of Great Britain's Olympic team is Tom Daley, who turned 14 last May (and is not to be confused with this person). But in diving, and I quote our NBC research manual, "All divers must turn 14 years old by December 31, 2008 in order to be eligible to compete in theOlympics."
So you can be as young as 13 and compete here in diving but you can only be as young as 15 to compete in gymnastics? Diving. Gymnastics. Isn't diving just gymnastics with a softer landing?
Second, China is a nation of 1.3 billion people. If, of all the people who live here, half of the six best gymnasts they could find were under the age of 16 (15, really), then doesn't that tell you that maybe, at least here, 13 year-olds are better suited for success in this event? Why discriminate against them? Heck, if you really want to be cynical, at least they can get this part of their lives over with earlier and still have a chance to go through puberty without such an ascetic existence.
Anyway, China has passports that say the trio is of age and so what is anyone going to do about it? But it has been a cause of consternation for Marta Karolyi, the USA coach: "I have no proof, so I can't make an affirmation," Karolyi said earlier this week. "But it possibly could be true (that they're too young)...One of the girls has a missing tooth."
Here at the blog, after much rumination, it was decided that the most responsible and mature manner in which to address this issue was by weighing both sides of the issue and then...fashioning a song parody. So, with the help of the best song ever written about age dispute, and with Marta (the Karolyi, not the Atlanta rapid-transit system) playing the role of Rolf and Chinese gymnast He (who's a she) playing the role of Liesl, I give you:
"THIRTEEN GOING ON FOURTEEN"
Marta:
You wait, little girl, on a padded stage
To leap and twirl and tumble
The snag, my dear, is you’re underage
And that is why I grumble
He:
Grumble
Marta:
You are thirteen going on fourteen
Too young to join that team
It ain’t your fault, but don’t you dare vault
And stay off the balance beam
You are thirteen going on fourteen
This summer you shouldn’t ‘sault
Too young for cars and uneven bars
Asia minor, I must say, “Halt!”
He:
I am sixteen going on seventeen
Born before ’94
Don’t you berate me, hey, carbon-date me,
After I’m done with floor
I am sixteen going on seventeen
Listen to me, I’m old
Passport’s agreein’ that I’m not a tween
So let me go win the gold
By the way, kudos to whatever reporter was wily enough to ask He, following China's victory, how she had celebrated her 15th birthday. Brilliant jab. I imagine that reporter has already been Joey-Cheeked. He, by the way, replied that it was just another ordinary day. Thus averting a "he said, He said" controversy.
And before we leave this issue, let's remind ourselves what Bowie's "China Girl" had to say about anyone who threatened her: "Oh, baby, just you shut your mouth."
Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan...
Last night my reseach/writer pal here, Andrew Silver (he isn't actually named after a medal; that's just a happy coincidence) and I made our way to the Bird's Nest to watch us some track. We were quite lucky enough to be seated near the finish line. Before the final heat, Yevgeniy Meleshenko of Kazakhstan lined in Lane 2.
The gun went off.
Meleshenko fired out of the blocks. Took about five strides. And then just kinda slowed down and stopped. Before he even hit the first hurdle.
I'm not sure exactly what happened--a judge asked him what was wrong, and he pointed toward his inner thigh or knee, but Meleshenko didn't pull up lame. Didn't even fall to the ground in pain. It looked, to this untrained eye, that Meleshenko just assessed the distance, the hurdles, and the superior competition and said, "Myeh."
It can't be that simple, of course. But that's how it looked.
Usain is Insane
It wasn't a performance that will win him a medal, but one of the most athletic performances I've ever seen took place last night on the track. Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt, a revolutionary figure in the sport at 6-5, ran a 9.92 in his 100-meter sprint quarterfinal heat (Can you imagine this dude playing wide receiver in the NFL?).
The time itself is not overly impressive, even if it is the fastest 100 ever run in China. The scary thing about it is that Bolt basically shut it down and coasted after 50 meters. He was literally cruising, turning his head to either side for the last half of that race. It was a definitive "You're gonna need a bigger boat" moment.
In sprinting, which is all about intimidating the guy in the lane next to you, Bolt just freaked everyone out.
OHHHH, CANADA!!!
And Canada makes the podium, winning a gold in women's wrestling and a silver in rowing today. Way to go, Canada. Here at the IBC, our research room broke out into the Canadian national anthem at the news.
Shalane Won, Shalane Two, Shalane...
There are people who love the Olympics. There are people who love track. And then there are dorks like me who stick around through an hour of burly guys shot-putting ("they all look like Oakland Raiders," one witty on-air person noted to me) to watch the Women's 10,000 meters.
I'm a huge distance running fan, and thus it was a treat to stick around until 10:45 p.m. to watch the world's best female 10-K runners do 25 laps around the track. Shalane Flanagan of the USA came through big time, earning a bronze and putting the US back on the map in middle distance by doing so. As she crossed the finish line, it was a Bud Greenspan moment when she looked toward some media types and held up three fingers as if to ask, "Did I come in third?"
Yes, you did, Shalane. Great for you.
And here's a photo I took of an elated Flanagan while in the mixed zone minutes later, doing an interview.
Congrats to Mr. Phelps...
...on top of everything else you've done, you just won a $1 million bonus from Speedo for tying Mark Spitz's record. My friend Barry wrote to suggest the best headline I've yet seen: "MIDAS TOUCH".
And I realize this is big-time quasi self-congratulations, but kudos to the producer and cameraman at the Water Cube for getting that memorable shot of Michael Phelps' mom holding up two fingers and then collapsing into her seat. That's priceless Olympic television right there.
August 16
Memorable date. Happy 50th birthday to Madonna, happy 54th birthday to Sports Illustrated , happy (?) birthday to its illustrious and charismatic former managing editor, Mark Mulvoy, happy 38th birthday to Bonnie Bernstein, and happy 30th birthday to Chinese four-time gold medalist diver Fu Mingxia.
Also on this date, sixty years ago, Babe Ruth died. Thirty-one years ago, Elvis Presley died. And ten years ago today, the greatest sportswriter who ever lived (and one of the few whom everybody loved), Jim Murray, passed away. The Los Angeles Dodgers are honoring him today. What does that tell you?
Venue I Must Visit
Some careers have a glass ceiling. But here in Beijing, there's a sporting venue that has one. That would be the table tennis at Peking University Gymnasium, or "The PUG", as I call it. Haven't yet made it there, but check this joint out (and scroll down). And yes, there's the obligatory, "That place is way bigger than my parents' basement" joke waiting to be made.
Not Bad For a 41 year-old
As a fellow 41 year-old I'm amused that Dara Torres' new names is Forty-One Year-Old Dara Torres. I mean, after all, can I remind everyone, this is what 41 looks like. Anyway, Torres was cool in the pool today. Not only did she win her heat in the 50 Free, but she held up the start of the race for an Aussie competitor whose suit had ripped and who was in danger of having the heat begin without her. Totally cool move.
T-Shirt that might put me in jeopardy if I wear it here...
"Free Trebek"
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: ASIA MINORS.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://blogs.nbcsports.com/system/mt-tb.cgi/10148
5 Comments
Leave a comment
About this blog
NBCSports.com's John Walters goes into the world of college sports and well beyond. From Notre Dame to the latest in pop culture, JDub tackles it all.
The fact is CHINA broke the RULES put in place by the international Gymnastics Federation years ago & BLATANTLY LIED TO THE ENTIRE WORLD about it.
Communist countries have done the same thing ever since the age rule was instituted but rarely this IN YOUR FACE. Usually it was one or two girls who were one to two years under the age limit. At least half of China's Olympic team is closer to the age of TWELVE than SIXTEEN.
The bigger picture is that if the Chinese govt lies about this, don't you think they're BREAKING THE RULES when it comes to DOPING? Heck yeah! Did you see the Weightlifting? How about those Chinese female swimmers? Two of which went 1-2 in the 200 Butterfly & no one in the international swimming world had even HEARD of them. Oh yeah, they weren't doped up. Just like the female Chinese swimmers that ALSO "came out of nowhere" in the late 80s & early 90s & starting winning everything. Until a new anti-doping test caught over half a dozen & they all just "disappeared" for the past decade until recently.
But back to gymnastics - Why does it matter to have smaller bodies? PHYSICS. Why don't you see 5'8 women out there? With HIPS? So why did they institute the age rule in Gymnastics AND Figure Skating? (Hey, you worked on that USA Olympic Ice program, don't you remember?) At least in skating, it was to help prevent the detrimental & career-ending injuries caused by all that jumping/falling at an early age. It's even non-officially referred to as the 'Tara Lipinski' Rule.
As long as the rule is on the books, that particular Chinese team should have prevented from competing. There are hundreds of female Chinese gymnasts. Why don't you think they used some of their older ones? You almost never see the Chinese gymnasts for more than a 1-3 years on the international scene. Possibly because their bodies have broken down since that system starts their "training" as early as age 3.
I happen to think the 4ft7 '12year olds' are ruining both gymnastics & skating. And after a lifetime of watching both, I may not continue. I love the "tricks", but just as much I love the grace & artistry that is LEARNED over time.
What ticks me off the most is the blatant LYING that the Chinese govt got away with & that if you dare point it out, you're called a "poor sport". Cheating is cheating, whether by doping or using ineligible competitors. But just like any totalitarian regime, the way the Chinese govt sees it - if THEY don't make the rule then it doesn't exist for THEM. And gosh, I don't think I heard that in the Olympic oath.
Way to drop the Hammerstein. As someone who has parodied far too many Julie Andrews songs, well done. Now I have to go to work on the second verse of "How Do You Solve A Problem Like Mingxia" ...
Thanks for the DT pix.
That shot of Mrs. Phelps after the 100 fly has been seen at least 100 times since. Props to the random (kinda weird-looking) guy she disappeared behind. His face is now internationally-known.
Overheard in Tiennamen Square:
"Hey, aren't you the dude who was sitting in front of Mrs. Phelps the other night?"
"Yeah, that was me."
"Weren't you an East German gymnast back in the 70's?"
"No."
"Oh, nevermind, then."
I watched the Olympics esp. the Womens gymnastics and found it interesting that the Chinese would try to pass off these children as being 16 years old.
I realize that many women of Asian decent do not look their age and that many athletes are very lean and sometimes small for practical reasons but these children or at least thee of them couldnt possilbe been 16 years old.
I wondered why the IOC didnt ask for a simple Xray of the femors of these three very young looking Chinese gymnists(or any of the other competing women gymnists) to check to see if the ends of their bones had sealed.( The growth plates known as epithecal growth plates seal on about 95% of women by age 16 years regardless of the ethnicity, nutrition or weight of the individual.) With all the medical technology why no one even approached this option was intersting to me. How about you?