OLYMPICS & PANS

Anyway, Andrew wrestled in high school and so was very excited to be watching this in person. I am wrestling my demons and so was also keen to watch all of this unfold. As we were watching the match I turned to Silver, a child of the 80's (whereas I was born in the late Sixties and like most guys my age, feel as if John Cusack has been living out my existence onscreen) and asked him how many times he'd watched VisionQuest to psyche himself up for meets.

"I've never heard of it," he said.

Now, I realize that I am older (three very bright twentysomethings here had no idead that the new Roger Federer Nike ad is a direct ripoff of the Inspector Clouseau-Kato skirmishes from the "Pink Panther" series) and that certain pop culture references simply don't cross over. For example, I know Yaz (the band and the Red Sox) but I don' t know Nas.  

Also, my companion, a highly knowledgeable Olympic researcher, might have been too busy earning himself acceptance into the nation's top-rated university to waste time watching old Matthew Modine films. However, the exchange inspired me to compile a list both for Andrew and for you. A list in which every Olympic sport would have a film or film scene (or television moment) to accompany it.

And then, for extra assistance, I enlisted my close pals here at the Research Room,  which is more than ably headed by Mark Young, Liz Robbins and Andy Goldberg when I'm here in the daytime, for  two reasons: 1) because they seem pleasantly annoyed by my daily invocations for their assistance and 2) because like me, their minds are bloated with useless trivia.

So, thanks to Mark, Liz, Andy and fellow RR'ers Steve Samuelson, Mike Berger, Jim Estes et al. for helping to contribute to this list. Herewith, our list of Olympic sports and the corresponding films with which every Olympic fan should be familiar:

Archery... Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, but I prefer Mark Young's inspired suggestion: "Anything with Geena Davis."

Badminton...Can't think of a film, so reluctantly we'll suggest the Vitamin Water ad featuing David Ortiz and Brian Urlacher versus U.S. Olympians Howard Bach and Bob Malaythong.

Baseball...how about Bang The Drum Slowly? A little off Main Street, baseball flick-wise. Either that or every other film Kevin Costner ever made.

Basketball...Hoosiers.

Beach Volleyball…Did this sport even exist before that scene in Top Gun? I wonder how jeans never caught on as accepted BV beachwear. 

Boxing… “He’s gonna knock ya’ into tomorrow, Rock.” This could be an entire chapter, so we'll just stick with that one and strongly advise against seeing Million Dollar Baby.

Canoe/Kayak Flatwater...Finishing out of the medals remains a better fate than the one Ned Beatty met in Deliverance.

Canoe/Kayak Slalom…Meryl Streep wields a killer paddle in The River Wild. 

BMX…Elliott and E.T. eluding the government agents in E.T. Although my Aussie friend Steve Samuelson informs me that one of Nicole Kidman's first films, in 1983, was entitled BMX Bandits.

Cycling…Dennis Christopher channels the Italians in Breaking Away.

Diving…Nothing top Thornton Melon’s (Rodney Dangerfield’s) “Triple Lindy” in Back to School. But there's also Harrison Ford's plunge to freedom in The Fugitive (and Steve McQueen's even more daring dive in Papillon).

Equestrian...How about Black Stallion? (Not to be confused with the Italian Stallion) 

Fencing… “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." From The Princess Bride. 

Field Hockey...My Brit mate Mr. Young informs me of a British series entitled St. Trinian's, a show about a girls' prep school with some unruly lasses who wield mean sticks. Sort of a WB meets the BBC (WBBC) series. Great, but unless Ricky Gervais is in it, I ain't watching.

Gymnastics... American Anthem, Gymkata and one brief scene from For Your Eyes Only.

Handball...Believe it or not, there's a film entitled Forever the Moment that chronicles South Korea's improbable (says you!) run to a silver medal in women's team handball in Athens. Available at your closest Seouls Blockbuster. I recommend the director's cut.

Judo... "Judo Chop!" From Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Marathon...Simon Pegg enters the London Marathon to win back the woman he left at the altar in Run, Fatboy, Run (because Marathon Man never actually shows marathon footage).

Modern Pentathlon... First, a beef. This event has been around since 1900. About time we drop the "modern", no? So, you need a flick that includes horsey-back riding, fencing, shooting, swimming and running. Let's go with Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid.

Rowing... Some would vote for Oxford Blues, but we prefer Ben Hur. Or just read The Amateurs by David Halberstam.

Sailing...How about the sailing scene in What About Bob? ("I sail! I sail!") 

Shooting... "Come back, Shane." Or anything Barry Pepper does in Saving Private Ryan.

Soccer.... The original incarnation of Fever Pitch starred Colin Firth as a soccer-mad Arsenal supporter. Why did Jimmy Fallon have to ruin it?

Softball... Tom Cruise hitting fielding practice in A Few Good Men. And that's the second mention of Mr. Cruise on this list and, yes, I'm worried myself. There's also a Seinfeld episode in which George--or is it Kramer?--bowls over catcher Bette Midler. And if you really want to go obscure, Les Nessman snares the final out with a lucky catch in right field in WKRP In Cincinnati.

Swimming... The easy suggestion is Pride, but I seem to recall Lance Kerwin's James being on the high school swim team in the seminal show on teen angst, James at 15, back in the 70s.

Synchronized Swimming... Martin Short ("I'm not a strong swimmer") and Harry Shearer give the "sport" its much-needed debunking on Saturday Night Live more than two decades ago.

Table Tennis...Tempted to go with Forrest Gump, but you have to admire the beginning-to-end commitment Balls of Fury showed to the sport.

Tae Kwan Do... "Wax on, wax off." What else is there to say?

Tennis... With apologies to Mary Carillo, we cannot recommend Wimbledon. Instead, how about the backyard tennis scene with Tom Hanks and his future father-in-law in Bachelor Party?

Track & Field... Many choices here, from Chariots of Fire to Personal Best to any number of chase montages scenes from The Benny Hill Show for racewalking.

Trampoline... You can either tune in to "America's Funniest Home Videos" any week or, if you're really sick, YouTube "trampoline accident".

Triathlon... In lieu of an actual film based on the sport that we can think of, why not go see Ironman?

Water Polo... I got nothin'. Why not just watch Teri Polo in Meet the Parents or--wait, that's it! The water volleyball scene in that film. "Fokker!"

Weightlifting... The Seventies doc Pumping Iron, starring future Governator Ah-nuld and Lou "The Incredible Hulk" Ferrigno, raised the bar on this genre. Either that or "Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!"

Wrestling... Matthew Modine struggles to make both weight and Linda Fiorentino fall for him as a killer 80s soundtrack (Madonna, The Babys, Journey) plays in the background in the film that inspired this blog, VisionQuest.

True story: Last night, after working on this list for a bit, I retired to my hotel room at the (C)CP. Turned on the tube. And you know what was playing on the HBO? VisionQuest! Freaky.

Why I Like Diving...

... It's the only Olympic sport where you are allowed to sit in a hot tub during the competition. Wouldn't it have been priceless to see Laura Wilkinson seated in the jacuz' on Friday, calling out to someone off-camera, "Frozen, please, and this time no salt!"