CHUCKY TO ND?

Ranking Notre Dame's '09 Schedule

Below, how I see Notre Dame's schedule, in terms of difficulty, now that all the underclassmen have declared for the NFL draft. No. 1 is the most difficult, of course:

1) USC, October 17

    Mark Sanchez is gone, but Mitch Mustain did go 8-0 as a freshman QB at Arkansas. And he may not even win the starting job. Nine other starters return for the Trojans on offense, and Pete Carroll is still the best motivator in college football. Besides, USC is in Notre Dame's heads, having won seven straight against them. Guaranteed, Notre Dame will be more motivated for this contest than any next autumn. But they'll have to be in order to pull off the upset.

2) At Stanford, Nov. 28

   This one is just plain scary. Cardinal head coach Jim Harbaugh is just, excuse the expression, a red-ass about big-time programs and big-name coaches. His team can lose one week to UCLA or ASU and then score more points off USC (23) than anyone besides Oregon State and Penn State did all year. When Stanford lost at home to Notre Dame two years ago--both teams stunk, the Irish entered the game 2-9--Harbaugh refused to meet with the press afterward. Last year, in the loss at Notre Dame, Harbaugh infamously brushed aside Jimmy Clausen's attempt at a post-game handshake.

    Harbaugh is ornery, and he has beaten ND himself as a Michigan QB. His tailback, Toby Gerhart, has Touchdown Tommy Vardell written all over him. The Irish could be 9-2 or even 10-1 heading into this season finale, and no matter what Weis tells them, they just won't take the Cardinal as seriously as they should (see the 2005 game in Palo Alto, which the Irish just squeaked by to win).

    This one looms eerily.

3) Nevada, Sept. 5

     It is both the season opener and the home opener, and you have to believe the Irish will acquit themselves better than they did against Georgia Tech (33-3 loss) in '07 and versus San Diego State (21-13 win) in '08. Count on an Irish offense that returns 10 starters to score at least 35 against a Wolfpack team whose pass defense was ranked last nationally this past season (so what if 3 DBs return? that may only be worse for Chris Ault).

    Then why the trepidation? Because we've all seen the Notre Dame defense turn decent opposing offensive players into great ones, and turn very good ones into Heisman winners. Nevada QB Colin Kaepernick is exactly the type of dual threat who will give an inexperienced, and not exaclty intimidating, Irish defensive line fits. And tailback Vai Taua is a pauau between the tackles.

     Nevada will score, also, and if they can run the ball--and they can (the Wolfpack had the nation's No. 3 rushing offense in '08 despite losing the WAC's leading returning rusher, Luke Lippincott, to injury--will control the clock. This could be a very entertaining, and very close, game.

4) At Michigan, Sept. 12

    The Wolverines may be down, but this is still the Big House. Still a stadium in which the Irish have lost two of their last three games by the identical score of 38-0.

     Then again, this is the first stop on Jimmy Clausen's Redemption Tour--surely College Gameday will replay the infamous '07 sack Clausen suffered here in which about four UM defenders held him up as if he were the Stars and Stripes on Iwo Jima. Clausen was sacked eight times in all that day, and in truth the Irish never even advanced far enough to consider a field goal.

    The good news for Notre Dame fans is that, should the Irish be 2-0 next fall, they'll be on the brink of a very special season. A "9-3 isn't good enough" type season.

5) Michigan State, Sept. 19

    Tailback Javon Ringer is gone, as is quarterback Brian Hoyer. Mark Dantonio is still a fantastic coach, however, and Greg Jones is the best linebacker the Irish will see all season that doesn't play for USC. Then, of course, there is the minor matter of the Spartans having won their last six games at Notre Dame Stadium--the last time the Irish beat them in South Bend, Lou Holtz was the head coach.

    Sparty always hits a ton--they're the Steelers of college football--and the Irish have yet to demonstrate that they're a nasty football team. Here's their chance.

6) At Pittsburgh, Nov. 14

    LeSean McCoy, another tailback who had a monster game against the Irish in '08, departed early for the NFL. Linebacker Scott McKillop, who racked up more tackles than anyone in FBS the past two seasons, is also gone. Suddenly this trip to Iron City is far less daunting.

     But the Irish have proven over the last two seasons that they know how to lose come November: 3-6 and the wins came against Navy, Duke and Stanford, who finished a combined 13-24 in those years each met the Irish.

7) Connecticut, Nov. 21

     We do this out of respect to Huskies head coach Randy Edsall, who has done so much more with so much less in his years in Storrs. U Conn is yet another Irish '09 foe that loses one of the nation's top five rushers from its '08 squad, in this case the nation's leading rusher, Donald Brown.

 8) Boston College, Oct. 24

     In those games that the Irish actually do win handily, Weis famously does all that he can to avoid running up the score. The Irish have never scored 50 points under Weis, though they have hit 49 three times.

     That could change here. The Eagles, with the messy divorce from Jeff Jagodzinski lingering, may be somewhat down in '09. And they have owned the Irish this decade, having taken a humiliating six straight from their Catholic counterparts.

     Outside of the USC game, there's no other opponent that these Irish--who hit rock-bottom in '08 in Chestnut Hill with the 17-0 loss--will be more motivated to pummel. And this year, they have the means to do so.

9) Open Date, Oct. 10

    I'm sorry, but the Irish schedule is just that easy next autumn.

10) Oct. 3, Washington

      Why don't I rank the only team that finished winless in FBS a year ago last on the list? Because U-Dub quarterback Jake Locker may be the best offensive player to face the Irish all season and because new head coach Steve Sarkisian, formerly the offensive coordinator at USC, knows the Irish well. Locker, who missed the final eight games of '08 with a broken thumb, will not have enough support around him to pull off the upset. He will, however, earn the respect of every last person in Notre Dame Stadium by the time this one's done. Locker is most talented and courageous No. 10 to toss a pass in South Bend since BQQB departed.

11) At Purdue, Sept. 26

    New head coach. New quarterback. The Boilermakers are sinking like an over-filled shot glass in a mug of beer in the Big Ten.

12) Navy, Nov. 7

     Strictly a TCOB (Taking Care of Business) game for these Irish, and certainly they will be reminded what happened the last time the Middies visited.

13) Washington State, Oct. 31, in San Antonio  

    The first of Notre Dame's neutral site games (read: recruiting boondoggles) to take place on an annual basis. Many Irish players will recognize the venue from having competed here in the U.S. Army High School All-American game. I doubt any of the Wazzu players have that same memory.