Straight outta the "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" files: No more than 100 yards from my front door there is a wildlife phenomenon happening that is quite cool. A red-tailed hawk has taken up residence in a tree that literally overhangs the West Side Highway. It's a pretty cool sight each day, whilst going for a run in Riverside Park (because these days I'm too lazy to drag my ass over to Central Park), to start out by looking up at Mr. Hawk's nest as if the Upper West Side has suddenly become a scene out of Animal Planet.

I do believe that there has not been a hawk sighting in Manhattan--outside of Central Park--since the 2006 NFL Draft, so this is cool. Of course, rent being what it is in this part of the world, none of us here are surprised that (I kid you not) a few smaller birds have taken up residence in the bottom of the hawk's nest. Yes, Mr. Hawk is sub-letting.

So Roger Clemens, following in the wake of ex-teammate Jason Giambi, is also now apologizing without providing details? Let me ask you this: Imagine you know a specific manner in which someone is putting themselves in mortal danger. And you simply say to them, "Watch out." But you don't tell them what to watch out for. And then they touch the third rail or forget that the traffic in London is opposite as they're stepping off the curb or whatever. Do you get credit for trying to save them?

"I GOTTA GO PEE!"

Last night I finished writing late, and you just cannot go to sleep immediately after that, so I watched "The Green Mile", which has some outstanding performances by the way (none better than Sam Rockwell as rapist-murderer "Wild Bill" Wharton). Anyway ...

Sorry about my absence here of late, but you know, "It's hard goddamned work doing a blog." 

So I'm still obsessed with last Tuesday's "Costas Now". And the more I watch that 16-minute "Sports Bloggers" segment, the funnier I find host Bob Costas', "Braylon, do you blog?" question. Outside of this one moment, Costas was his typical self, which is to say masterful. I believe that he was actually jazzed by the live format, by the challenge to his intellect to cover five different topics live over 90 minutes while also following the "comic stylings of Paul Mercurio." (our in-studio warm-up comic)

What happened, then, with that question? My suspicion is that the mind of Costas, for just a moment, went blank. The question was a stall, something I've done dozens of times during an interview when I've had a runaway train of thought. As have almost all reporters. The difference is that we were not on live TV. Why did Costas blank for a moment? Maybe he was musing to himself, "Did I just say, 'Good riddance, (bleep)face' on national television?"

John Walters (hey, that's me!) was there for the whole night of HBO's live, 90-minute edition of "Costas Now". He was in the studio audience when H.G. "Buzz" Bissinger took the stage and in the pub when a slightly buzzed Bissinger took his leave (hey, so was Walters). The program, divided into five segments, was devoted to an examination of "Sports and the Media". What follows is a thumbnail assessment of each topic.
 
Part 1: Sports Talk Radio

"The Giants winning the way they won is a nine. The Mets collapsing the way they did, from what we do, is a ten." -- Mike Francesa, WFAN

Champ: Michael Strahan, New York Giants
Punching Bag: Chris Russo, WFAN
Admiral Stockdale "Who am I and what am I doing here?" honoree: Mitch Albom
Best Moment: When Russo attempted to demonstrate that he is fair by noting that when the Giants won the Super Bowl, he praised Strahan. Replied the future Hall of Fame defensive end, "You had no choice."
The Skinny: Apparently, sports talk hosts are misogynistic, two-faced louts who possess all the charm of Louie DePalma. Who knew? Strahan had the best punches landed-per-punches thrown of any panelist the entire evening, noting that Russo may not be the best-suited person to talk football "when the last time you had a uniform on your mom took you trick-or-treating."
HBO Entertainment Rating: "Real Time With Bill Maher"

Part 2: The Internet and the Impact of Bloggers

"You don't have to go to school to say, like, "I think that the Indians should have pulled Carmona in the eighth." -- Michael Schur (a.k.a. Ken Tremendous), FireJoeMorgan.com
  
Buzzsaw: H.G. "Buzz" Bissinger, author, rageaholic
Sonny Corleone pulling into the tollbooth: Will Leitch, founder of Deadspin
Stockdale Honoree: Braylon Edwards, Pro Bowl wideout, Cleveland Browns
Best Moment: Perhaps it was hearing the most articulate man in sports, Costas, say (even if he was just reading a commenter's words), "Good riddance, (bleep)-face."
The Skinny: The morning after this show aired I was able to find well-written columns on this fracas (as well as hilarious comments, such as "W.C. Fields > W.C. Heinz") all over the interwebs. Meanwhile, not one of New York's four major newspapers had a word on it. Print is dead.
HBO Entertainment Rating: "The Sopranos"

The Denver Broncos select Ryan Clady of the Boise State Broncos, a school with nearly identical uniform colors that is as close to Denver as it is to any NFL franchise. So much for all the quantitative and qualitative analysis that goes into draft day.

With the selections of Jake Long (Miami), Chris Long (St. Louis) and Matt Ryan (Atlanta) as picks 1-2-3, this becomes the first NFL draft since 1975 in which the first three players picked were white. I don't know how much further you'd have to go back to find a draft in which the top three selections were white but none were named White (Randy White was the second pick), or how far you'd have to go back in which the top three selections were white and none was a quarterback selected by the Falcons (Steve Bartkowski was the top overall pick).

By the way, anyone-anyone? Bueller?-- know the added significance of Bartkowski's selection? That's right, the Cal QB selected as his agent a fellow Golden Bear, a wet-behind-the-ears kid named Leigh Steinberg.

ADAMS FAMILY

Inspired by my John Adams riff, Everlasting, Everglading Blogstalker G.A. proposed a 12-part series on Sam Adams. Thus, counter-inspired, I offer my top ten Adamses we'd love to see HBO devote a dozen painstaking hours to -- with Laura Linney appearing in every series, of course:

1) Pugsley Ad(d)ams

2) Alvan Adams

Caught the Thomas Jefferson-John Adams dueling death bed scenes in HBO's John Adams last night. Have you seen it? Paul Giammati, as Adams, moans the immortal and -- it must be eternally exasperating to him -- inaccurate line, "Thomas Jefferson survives." (If only they'd had text-messaging back then)

Then Giammati's face goes limp, his eyes wide open, and a tiny river of spittle runs down his chin. It's a nice career-circling achievement in saliva for Giammati, whose first big movie scene was in Singles as the dude making out with his girlfriend in the restaurant booth. Giammati is practically swallowing her face, until he notices an unnerved Campbell Scott. He turns around and just says, slightly annoyed, "What?!?"

MR. LONGORIA

Oh, that was impressive. Tony Parker and the Spurs rode into town last night and played their best game of the series. If not the year. The Spurs quickly went up by 10 and, except for a brief second-quarter hiccup when Phoenix moved to within 37-31, the defending champs never led by less than 10. Parker was on fire and really, the entire game seemed like one long Spurs swishing contest. That, and watching Shaquille O'Neal slowly die on the free throw line.

Something hilarious, something serious:

In the hilarity department, if you have yet to see this clip yet, this is just another reason as to why TNT's NBA studio is the best studio show around. Last night, with Kobe Bryant watching live, they aired the premiere of the Kenny Smith Hyperdunk shoe ad.

On to a matter that is disturbing many surfers and swimmer in southern California today. This morning in Solana Beach, which is about 15 miles or so north of San Diego, a 66 year-old man was fatally attacked by a shark. The man was training with a group of triathletes at about 7:20 a.m. when the shark attacked. He was pronounced dead on the scene once they got him to shore.

The bizarre part of this story is that shark attacks in southern California are extremely rare. Extremely. In northern California they are more common and of course in Florida they're more likely to occur. But there were people on message boards today stating that they'd lived in the area for decades and had never heard of a fatal shark attack near San Diego.

Of course, the Coast Guard will hunt it down and kill it, because that's what law enforcement does to carnivores that behave like carnivores. Nobody wants to see a person die at the hands of a shark, of course, but isn't there an ugly disconnect when a society can hunt down a shark that is just trying to survive within the same week that Mike Golic will participate in an on-air competitive eating contest for entertainment value? Humans: They really do not deserve to be atop the food chain.

Welcome, Blogstalkers, Johntouragers, and fans of Manu Ginobili to my first annual (horns blaring in the background as if to announce the arrival of royalty) Mock Turtleneck Draft. I have spent the past few weeks scouring catalogs and malls. I've stretched the fabric, rolled up the sleeves to test for elasticity, and even consulted Bud Greenspan to get his assessment. Now it's time to see who's ready to be worn, with or without a sportscoat, at the next level.

Miami, you're on the clock.

1) The Miami Dolphins choose epromos Dri-Fit Short Sleeve Mock from Nike.

If you're going to sport Mock-T in the tropics, you're better off going with a short-sleeve Mock-T. The Tuna will be very comfortable roaming the sidelines in this lightweight cotton-polyester blend whose hemmed raglan sleeves have underarm gussets.

2) The St. Louis Rams select Under Armour's camo-mock

How do you expect to find Stephen Jackson and tackle him when he blends in so naturally to the jungle surroundings? Oh, that's right, this Mock-T will be worn under his jersey.  

3) The Atlanta Falcons take Justice Clothing's  Mock Turtleneck.

The Falcons are attracted to the "union-made clothing: the sweatshop-free alternative" tag. But I suspect owner Arthur Blank will, after the year he has been though, pursue anything with the word "justice" attached to it.

4) The Oakland Raiders pick Ruby Mock Turtlenecks

Al Davis has given up on his players and is now concentrating on the comfort and style needs of the Raiderettes. We salute him for that.

5) The Kansas City Chiefs take Design Elevations

Chief players will be able to absorb all those hard knocks that much easier with this 100% acrylic ribbed long-sleeve sweater.

6) The New York Jets choose the Patriot-Made short-sleeve Mock

The Mangenius will not be flattered by this 100% pre-shrunk drab cotton short-sleeve, but the Jets are so paranoid about their neighbors to the north that they just have to see what the fuss is.

So there's just so much blogworthy material in my cranium that I've split today's stuff into two blogs. The first one appears lower ("The Easy Buckets List"). Now, for the rest of the story ...

DARKNESS ON THE EDGE OF TOWN

Sad weekend for fans of Bruce Springsteen, as Danny Federici, the keyboard player in the E Street Band, succumbed to cancer. The show must go on, though, so just one day after Federici's funeral The Boss and the remaining members of the band, now in its fourth decade together, played a show in Tampa. Here's a clip from last night's concert that includes a tribute to Federici, who was 58.

A fund in Federici's name has been established that will go towards the cure for melanoma. If you wish to contribute, click here.

HOME SWEET DOME

What's that line from the Eagles' "Hotel California"? "You can check out any time you like/but you can never leave?"

The folks at the Waterford Hotel in South Bend are putting their own spin on that lyric. When I checked in last Friday the desk clerk informed me that they were not just renting out rooms, they were selling them. My curiosity was aroused -- I have never owned a home or car in my life, and it seems so fitting, as a career sportswriter, that my first major purchase be a hotel room -- and so I went and spoke to Lisa LeBlanc, the very personable broker that the Waterford has on-site. ...

I'm a huge fan of Kenny "The Jet" Smith on the TNT. He's, well, dynamite.

After the Spurs beat the Suns 102-96 last night, TNT's incomparable studio show of The Jet, Sir Charles and Ernie dissected that series (and also had a lively discussion on the translation of Tony Parker's message in French to his wife, Tampa Bay 3rd baseman Evan Longoria, but that's another story). When EJ asked The Jet how come he thought that the Suns, now down 2-0, could not come back and win this series, his answer was simple: "Lay-ups."